It’s hard to trust certain guys. No, I’m not talking about the real world here, people. This isn’t a suggestion to the ladies of the world to be careful out there but since we’re on the subject: Hey. Ladies of the world out there. Be careful. No, I’m talking about guys who’ve burned us in the past in the fantasy football world. They’ve failed us at big intervals or came on too late in the season for it to matter. Or maybe they’ve had a bad year or two in the past coupled with health issues. You drew an ‘X’ through their name in red marker, put a yuk sticker on them and wrote ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ when draft day rolled around. But sometimes these guys we write off surprise us. Yes, seemingly out of nowhere, fantasy guys we loved and now love to hate can become studs. It’s not always an overnight process but it feels like it with Ryan Mathews. After his 5th 100 yard rushing game of the year with 29 carries for 127 rushing yards and a touchdown, Mathews is now tied for the NFL lead for 100 yard rushing games on the year with Adrian Peterson and LeSean McCoy. Yes, you read that right. Sure, Shady or maybe even All Day if he’s healthy could possibly reclaim that lead over him this weekend but just reading that shows how much Mathews has improved over an abysmal 2012 campaign that had him looking flat, slow and bewildered even before he broke TWO collarbones last year. He got labelled soft and a bust all at the ripe age of 25. Hard to imagine everything being downhill when you haven’t even had to shave your ear hair yet but that was Mathew’s judgement and I’ll fairly say I joined in with the crowd on this. Though his preseason was strong, I did not see this coming and to be fair, the Bolts didn’t either as they brought in Danny to spell him and were extra cautious in using him early on in the season. But even prior to tonight, Mathews has been one of the better RBs in the league as he’s been the 11th best fantasy RB in standard and the 15th best in PPR scoring over the last 5 weeks. Surprised? Shocked? Appalled? Drunk? Eh, it’s Friday, I’m not surprised if its all four. The point is, he’s been much better than we’ve realized and it’s time to give him his due so here’s to you, Mr. Mathews. May someone find that missing ‘t’ for you some day but until then, good on ya. In other news from Thursday Night Football from week 15…psyche! I haven’t psyched you guys out in a while, I know. Things have been running along smoothly but I’m going to a bit of an ‘event’ this weekend. I’m sure Tehol or J-FOH will probably blather all about it in their posts but until then I can pretend I get to keep it a super awesome secret until next week. Suspense…it’s a killer. Now on with the rest of the Thursday roundup…
Keenan Allen – It’s hard to complain about two TDs but if he’d run the right route in the 1st quarter, he could’ve had three! Finished the night with 2/29/2 which is both awesome and awe…I want some more. The only thing that worries me about Keenan next year are all the bumps and bruises he seems to accrue but for dynasty players out there, he’s money and if he falls outside the top 15 WRs next year, well then put on some Pink Floyd and jam out in 7/8ths time.
Philip Rivers – No, he didn’t get sat down early because his team was terrible. No, he didn’t get hurt. No, he didn’t get hauled off to the looney bin because he made another silly Rivers face. His statline of 12/20 for 160 yards and 2 TDs was a direct result of game flow which sometimes feels like Aunt Flow is visiting. That was me trying to reach out to my lady audience. Did it work? Rivers looked good, just wasn’t in the cards for him to try and play in a shootout with Peyton on this night. San Diego tried this tactic the first time and failed but stuck with the program and it worked this time. Third time will be the true test. Sorry Jaywrong, you’re gonna have to wait until the 2014 season to find out who wins this rubber match. No Jay, that’s not what I meant…put the tied off used condom down or I’m calling HR.
Andre Caldwell – I can only imagine the caveman-like thought process that went through Peyton’s brain on Thursday Night. Ugh, no Welker. Must find small white guy, throw ball. Ugh, no small white guy. Caldwell will do. Andre finished with all of the fantasy points – 6/59/2 on 10 targets – you wanted tonight and then some. He’s rolling around in it like it was two-hundred…and forty dollas…wortha puddin. A random video for a random fantasy performance. That’ll do, pig…that’ll do.
Knowshon Moreno – Gameflow. Yup, that sums it up. Only 55 total yards with 5/36 of that through the air. Moreno played more like Moranis for your fantasy teams this week. And remember you can’t say Moranis without saying ‘anus’. Unless of course I’ve said it wrong all my life which just really ruins the joke.
Danny Woodhead – I’ll be the first to admit DW’s production slip has been quite surprising. Though it’s hard to count on TDs, I was pretty sure Danny would at least keep the touches and yardage but tonight was yet another poor showing with only 30 total yards on 10 touches, 9 of which were carries. Of course, Ryan Mathews’ emergence has played a huge part in this process but it’s fair to say anyone who had a raging Woodhead earlier in the season has gone limp this playoffs.
Montee Ball – Have I mentioned gameflow yet? Yes? In a reverse of a college party situation gone wrong, I’m gonna pretend that your yes means no and explain it again. He only had 3 carries. That’s about 12 less carries than I thought he’d have. Though he had a so-so PPR night with 5/49 through the air, this was definitely not the Full Montee show many envisioned.
Aaron Rodgers – He’s ‘holding out hope’ he’ll play Sunday. These aren’t things you want to read on a Friday morning. If you own him or parts of the GB passing offense, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. dodfog0de09swf=g=djsjd…maybe I’ll cross them after I’m done typing.
Peyton Manning – You’d think the QB who has 100+ more yards receiving on the night would’ve defeated his opponent but you’d be wrong. PFM finished with 289 passing yards, 2 TDs, an INT and an asterisk for cold weather games added back to his name.
Demaryius Thomas/Eric Decker – Produced lines Jordy Nelson owners have come to expect since Rodger’s been gone. If you scramble the first two letters of each of their names you get DETD which is what they did to fantasy teams who owned them. The ‘T’ is silent. Look, not everyone can be Dan Brown over here.
Jay Cutler – Was named the starter for this week’s game. I wouldn’t be dropping Josh at this point as there’s still a chance they send in the McCowns. For those following my rankings, I’m not saying it will happen, just saying it’s possible. Jay’s just as much of a gamble as it is clicking on a link I embed.
Jacob Tamme – Was targeted twice and finished with one catch for nine yards. You’re only supposed to use the numerical value when the number is ten or above when typing things out. That’s how bad you were tonight, Tamme. I can’t even type numbers when I post about you.