LenDale White lost his patented nickname “Smash” when his nickname compatriot, Chris “Dash” Johnson, struck out on his own and made up one of the worst knicknames of all time, “Every Coaches Dream.” Huh? That’s not a nickname. So after this devesatating loss LenDale went on a diet during the offseason and lost thirty pounds of LenWhale blubber. He is going into a contract year and seems to be motivated. He has been criticized for his fatness and now he’s being criticized for his sveldtness. He’s the goalline back and some say he needs that extra gut to help move all those lineman guts in a beautiful sumo-esque ballet (imagine all this in slow motion). I can see both sides of the scale here.
Brett Favre – He just put a deposit on a condo in a suburb of Minneapolis. There are some signs that Favre may come out of retirement and maybe even play for his former team’s division rival, the Minnesota Vikings. I’d give it about a 3% chance.
Matt Stafford – Out of the ten thousand plus articles written on who will be the Lions starter come opening day it seems like Stafford is the front runner in nine thousand of those. Amazingly the 0-16 Lions have a lot of fantasy potential with Calvin Johnson and Kevin Smith so this decision could easily impact their seasons. Keep an eye on this.
Devone Bess – Dolphin’s beat writer Edgar Thompson says, “it wouldn’t shock me if Davone Bess develops into the most-dynamic WR on the roster this season.” Amazingly Chad Pennington was a serviceable fantasy QB last year and Ronnie Brown is poised to break out this year. I do remember Ted Ginn Jr. was supposed to be the second coming of Mark Duper last year so I am sceptical, but he may be worth a flier.
Bryant Johnson – Last year it looked like Johnson could be a sleeper pick and now lined up across from Calvin Johnson he looks poised for another possible sleeper year, but I think I’ll be napping while his name crosses my desk here at Razzbal Headquarters: Sleeper Division.
Percy Harvin – He fell ill during the rookie symposium and had to be sent home. This reminds me of that day in Mrs. Connors 4th grade math when I sprinted out of class and made wretching sounds into a bag outside the door. I was sent home as well. My mom made me eat saltines and drink Sprite while I watched Thundercats. Oh, by the way, I like Percy Harvin, and I think he can do something this year in what could be a more balanced Vikings offense.
Carson Palmer – He admitted that his arm strength needed some work. That isn’t what I wanted to hear. First he rejects Ocho’s “Bosom Buddies’ remake and now this? We have the Bengals offense returning to form this season with a decent fantasy boon from the passing game. It is still very early, but another situation to be aware of. And would Ocho play, Hildegarde or Buffy?
Marvin Harrison – Don’t go the Jerry Rice route. And if I see you on Dancing With The Stars or some Hair Club for Men commercial, you’re dead to me!