I don’t know whether this reference dates me or obscures me. Probably both. I don’t care. When a man walks on stage with Steve Martin looks and belts it like he’s Michael McDonald, he’s hard to forget. Or hard to remember? You decide. I’m making reference to none other than Taylor Hicks. Did you buy an album? No, definitely not. Were you a part of the Soul Patrol fan club? Not even close. Did you even vote for him on American Idol? What’s American Idol? Did you watch the parody of him on SNL and it just stuck with you over the years? Bingo. I’m moved by music and by comedy. Taylor is both neither and both at the same time. SOUL PATROL! Look, I can’t help it if he’s one of the funniest artists to ever win American Idol. Don’t hold that against me. So what does this have to do with Darren Sproles, you ask? Eh, nothing really. But if you need a reason, how about ‘both are good in their own field but at the same time were never expected to amount to much based on their physical makeup?’. Woah. I just made sense in a lead paragraph comparing Hicks to Sproles. My life is complete. *Logs out*. In reality, Sproles left San Diego with a question of ‘what exactly is this guy’? He’s talented, sure. He’s also good at football but we keep calling him a running back. He’s not really that. Of course, when he moved to the Saints, the reality of who he could be was realized. Sproles topped 100 receiving yards on the night for the third time in his Saints career, going for 7/114/1 through the air and even adding a ground TD on 4 for 28. Sure, he chucked in a fumble – his first as a Saint – but it’s easily forgiven on this night. Sproles is the Saints’ slot receiver in disguise and by ‘disguise’ I mean ‘hey everyone, look in the flat! It’s Sproles! Who’s covering that guy?’. Don’t know how any NFL team could forget Sproles could catch the ball but the Dolphins did tonight. Though Darren has been relatively quiet so far, he’s on pace for 1108 receiving yards and 8 TDs for the season, not to mention 92 receptions. Sometimes, it’s not about being the best at what you do, it’s about finding your niche and sticking to it. Here’s to you Taylor Hicks. May your peppered mop forever live on. In other news from Monday Night for 2013 Fantasy Football…
Ryan Tannehill – He made some great plays and he made some boneheaded plays and when the night was done, the boneheaded really stood out. The lost fumble when the game was still in reach. Tuck that sucker you mother! The pass into traffic to Hartline. Throw that sucker away you mother trucker! In all, it wasn’t the most pleasing night but myself along with the rest of twitter are still slightly smitten with this man. The fact he had 48 on the ground keeps me extremely interested as I thought we’d see more read option and running in general from him heading into the season. As it stands, I’m still not over the Tannehill.
Jimmy Graham – Like having a thumb war with someone who’s multi-jointed, this dude is just not fair. He’s built like a football player, with the height and mindset of a basketball forward/center, with the speed of a good wide receiver. That’s how you go for 100 on the night on only 4 catches and still manage 2 TDs, kids. So far, we’ve reviewed a running back who’s really a slot receiver and a tight end who’s really a #1 wide receiver. So what does that make Sean Payton, you ask? Zoolander. Of course.
Drew Brees – 413 on 30/39 passing and 4 TDs. Like the famous Dead Sea Tupperware…PBBBT! Still good.
Lamar Miller – My friends, he was looking primed for a monster night. The stats won’t say it – 11 for 62 and a TD – but there were talks of him going over 100 by the half. That’s how much the game changed by the second half. And somehow Daniel Thomas is still a factor. I don’t have a reason. I blame society.
Brandon Gibson – Security blanket bingo. Gibson was exactly what Tannehill didn’t need tonight but it’s exactly what he threw to. Finished the night with 6/71 while making Hartline/Wallace owners weep.
Charles Clay – I hate to be that guy but after tonight’s 5/42/1, Clay is on pace for 80 receptions, 980 receiving yards and 8 total touchdowns. If this Claymation keeps up, I’m nicknaming him Gumby.
Marques Colston – Finished the night with 7 for 96 and probably is frustrating his owners. Why? Because 1 TD. Why shouldn’t he be? Because his stats per 16 game season over the last three years – 88/1180/9 on 132 targets – are on target with his current 84/1192/4 season minus the touchdowns. I’ll bank on an 80/1100/8 season from Colston before I bank on another Taylor Hicks album. I’m that committed. SOUL PATROL!
Khiry Robinson – Rushed 12 times for 37 yards. You say ‘psssh, who cares, junk time yardage’ and I say ‘Pierre Thomas only rushed for 1 yard on 4 carries and finished the night with 9 touches overall’. I’m not saying it’s a sign that PT has lost his role but either way, I think the Saints wouldn’t mind knowing a bit more about Mr. Robinson for their files. After the waiver pickup for bench time sexy ensuing.
New Orleans Saints – I’m just putting this out there. It was a statement game. Monday Night Football, the whole world is watching and Payton wanted to remind everyone how dominant his team could be. Should he have left his starters out there that late into the 4th? Nope. Do we as fantasy owners really dislike him for it? Nope part deux. I really do wish he’d pulled them a bit earlier, though. Would’ve given him time to work on Magnum. I think he did a fine job of coaching tonight, Sky. Stay out of this, Billy Zane!