So, the NFL is cancelling the season after Monday Night Football in tribute to Aaron Rodgers, right? His injury is clearly worse than 9-11, if you are to believe the outpouring of melancholy media ejaculate yesterday. Not that they don’t have a reason. Losing one of the NFL’s most marketable players for selling insurance not only leaves us just with Peyton Manning and J.J. Watt (who died last week) to hawk stupid sh*t, but also allows the Packers to show how terrible Brett Hundley is at quarterbacking. Football sure knows how to expand it’s market share! And I realize there’s already a lot of hype building for signing Colin Kaepernick, which if we’re writing seriously (rare, I know) makes some sense, but I feel like a sports organization has to do triage for these situations with a bit more vigor. So I’ve come up with a strategy, a “plan of attack” if you will, that I believe the Packers are considering right this very moment:

  • Plan A – Send feelers out about signing Colin Kaepernick to gauge the reactions from fans and media. Invest in the TIKI torch brand if signing takes place. If not, move to Plan “B”.
  • Plan B – Beg Tony Romo to leave the booth. If Romo says yes, move to “Plan XXIV” when he gets injured in his first game back. If Romo says no, move to “Plan XXIV”.
  • Plan XXIV – WHERE IS MATT FLYNN? If found, give him more free money. If not, give him more free money and move to the next plan.
  • Plan LOL – Trade for Jay Cutler, since he has the most experience throwing to Packers receivers. If Miami says no, move to the last plan.
  • Plan OMFG – Tim Tebow time! Because at this point, why the ef not?

The NFC North is gonna otherwise be ceded to a team that got blown out by the Saints yesterday. But yeah, darn shame about Rodgers… now that I’ve confirmed the Chargers don’t play Green Bay later this season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now that my little Fantasy Football science experiment is over I’m going to change things up a little bit. You wouldn’t believe all the hate mail I got in the past couple of weeks. It seems my ESPN accounts have been locked out and someone even toilet papered my front yard. Enough is enough. Going forward I’m just going to give you my top six picks for the week. The only rule for a pick is that a player cannot be considered a stud to be eligible. Recommending Antonio Brown helps no one.

Before we get started let’s quickly see how I did last week…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome back to the RazzBlitz Podcast!

Zach and I power through the Week 6 slate so I can catch the end of the Cubs game. I should have just made him podcast for two more hours. We talk about the tragedy that is Ben Roethlisberger and Ju-Ju Smith Schuster vs. Martavis Bryant. Other topics include: Breida vs. Hyde, how incredible Deshaun Watson and Alvin Kamara are, and Aaron Rodgers’ outlook against the Vikings!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week I promised that I would dedicate the following week to subjecting myself to the save level of scrutiny I have spent the past two weeks bestowing upon the author of ESPN’s weekly fantasy football Love/Hate article. Well fast forward to today and it is now next week. You like how I did that. I didn’t need a flux capacitor, 88 MPH or 1.21 gigawatts to launch us into the future. Eat your heart out Doc. On a related note, did you hear they are doing a remake of Back To The Future with Will Smith’s son as Marty McFly. Donald Trump will be playing Biff Tannen.

Well I guess it’s time to see just how much I am going to ridicule myself. Without further adieu…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Image result for home dogs

Week 3 was a crazy, crazy week. Thanks Trump! I kidd. Blake Bortles, Case Keenum, and Eli Manning all threw for at least three touchdowns, with Bortles throwing four! The Jets dominated. It gets crazier, though. Eight of the games on Sunday had the road teams as favorites. The Jaguars, Colts, Bears, Jets, Bills, and Redskins all took care of business at home. Bow wow wow yipee yo yipee ya! Home dogs! The Lions should have won and the Chargers…well, just scroll down to the recap of that game and all will become clear.

The 2017-2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues for Basketball are now open. Get more info and join here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, that was… something.  Not a really exciting day, right? We waited months and months for three players to go over 100 yards receiving today and only two rushers to go over 100 yards as well.  We had a game in Green Bay where there should have been 800 points scored but neither team could get to 20.

Welcome to my weekly recap of the action we saw on Sunday.  So, I physically can’t watch every play of all 12 or 13 games that go on during the afternoon, but I do watch about 6.5 hours of Redzone every Sunday, so you could say that me and Andrew Siciliano are kind of a thing.  I’ll let you know how I interpret things that I see watching live and what I see in the box score.  I’m not going to bore you with paragraphs upon paragraphs on each game but, I assure you that you will know the trends that you need to know to make decisions for your lineup the next coming week.  Let’s start with the most exciting game from a fantasy stand point…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Something you didn’t know you wanted until now… I didn’t even know I wanted this until it was made. Much like your mother. You can find Razzball’s Quarterbacks Preview here. You can find Razzball’s Quarterback Rankings here. And Razzball’s Visualized Tiers for Quarterbacks (probably the best draft accessory you can bring as part of your ensemble) can be found after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to Razzball’s Fantasy Football Preview series, where yours truly will guide you, caress you, perhaps even coddle you through your draft preparations and processes. Mmm, processes. And while none of this may be legal and I’ll end up with multiple restraining orders, rest assured that we’ll all be the better for it. Maybe. We’ll go in depth (that’s what she said) at every position… well, the positions that actually count (I’m looking at you Kickers and DSTs…), going over some analysis, the tiers, and any illuminating observations I might have. Because light bulbs are just the coolest thing. Said everyone from the 1800s. Before you get settled down, please refer to Razzball’s 2017 Fantasy Football Draft Rankings, and specifically for this post, refer to our Quarterback Rankings

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is it, I’ve reached the end of my half of the Razzball Division previews with the rest coming from Zach.  It’s been quite a journey researching the NFC for the upcoming season.  It was great going through all of the players that have disappointed me in the past and still loving them for this year and vice versa. Now, I feel somewhat ready to start my rankings for 2017.  Within a week, I will put out my top 200 for the season and I will also put out a top 100 IDP players post as well.  We’re reaching the home stretch of the NFL offseason, but we still have a lot to cover over here at Razzball.  Without further ado, let’s get to the Starks of the NFC North.

Please, blog, may I have some more?