Last week I promised that I would dedicate the following week to subjecting myself to the save level of scrutiny I have spent the past two weeks bestowing upon the author of ESPN’s weekly fantasy football Love/Hate article. Well fast forward to today and it is now next week. You like how I did that. I didn’t need a flux capacitor, 88 MPH or 1.21 gigawatts to launch us into the future. Eat your heart out Doc. On a related note, did you hear they are doing a remake of Back To The Future with Will Smith’s son as Marty McFly. Donald Trump will be playing Biff Tannen.

Well I guess it’s time to see just how much I am going to ridicule myself. Without further adieu…

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Crowd chants: “WE WANT JEN! WE WANT JEN!” I know, I know, sometimes real life gets in the way. You probably woke up this morning expecting your usual Hit it or Quit it article and were disappointed to see the picture of Diddy at the top of the football blog but I promise you that we will get through this together. Jen will be back next week and if you would like to check out my regularly scheduled Monday programming, you can find it here.

And now, are you going to Hit it… or Quit it?

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Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

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The best thing about still being involved in fantasy baseball is that it means I am in the playoffs. While I am in many leagues, there are three which I consider the important leagues. I define “important” to mean there is a reasonable buy-in accompanied with it and an even more reasonable first place prize. Unsurprisingly, if you read my baseball posts, all three of these leagues are points leagues. Currently I am in the World Series in two of them, and the semi-finals of the third. Pulling off a three league win would be pretty sweet, but I’ve still got a long way to go.

The worst thing about still being involved in fantasy baseball is that it means my fantasy football research has been severely hindered and delayed. While I refuse to play in a pay league where the draft occurs more than a week before the regular season starts, this still gives me little time to prepare. And perhaps even worse, it reduces that amount of pre-draft advice I can attempt to sling your way. Not that many of you give a sh*t what I have to say, but I do have a handful of readers that have at least some interest in my posts.

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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Before I get into this article, let me be clear about one thing:

Terrelle Pryor is an absolute physical freak!  He is a 6-foot 4-inch tall receiver that can run a 4.4 forty yard dash and I was able to witness his dominance first hand in Nashville last season when Pryor snagged 9 receptions for 75 yards and 2 red-zone touchdowns.

Now that I stated the obvious, please allow me to spend the rest of this article arguing that 2017 Fantasy Football drafters should not be buying the Terrelle Pryor hype because he is an unpolished receiver, his new team underwent turnover in the offensive locker room, and most importantly, his draft cost is simply too high.

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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Along with the two sophomore quarterbacks that are sparking a lot of Fantasy Football interest, there were a few free-agent moves that are going to shake things up as we build our rosters in August.  We have a few new veteran receivers in this division and a veteran name at running back that’s going to make the Philadelphia backfield situation confusing.  Also, there’s a rookie running back in Washington who is looking to take a chunk out of the backfield work.  I’m going to quit burying the lead and get the damn thing started.

Before we get into the NFC East, I want to take a paragraph and congratulate Jay, Grey, and Rudy for their Top-3 (TOP EFFING THREE!) finish in Fantasy Football draft rankings for FantasyPros last season.  These guys have been at it for years making Razzball not only one of the best fantasy baseball sites, but also one of the best fantasy football sites.  Keep telling your friends about us, the results from our content speaks volumes when you see stuff like this.

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Free agency is one of my favorite parts of football.  This is probably because my favorite team never seems to be in the playoffs so I guess it gives me a false sense of hope going into the next season.  A couple of needs get fulfilled with players that I haven’t seen play in the Buccaneer’s system and all of a sudden I can argue them into the playoffs in my head.  The Jaguars also always look like they’ve built a dangerous roster in the offseason, and then we remember by week 2 that Blake Bortles is still the quarterback.

Free agency answers a lot of questions for fantasy football as well.  Every year, the beginning of March changes the destiny of at least a few players that might be question marks in keeper leagues. Just because the player takes the biggest check doesn’t mean that they are putting themselves in the best position to put up their best possible individual numbers.  I’m going to do my best to decipher the first week of signings and trades right here.  This was a busier year than last year for the skill positions as far as I remember, so if I forget someone you wanted to read about, forgive me.  Let’s get started with one of the fastest players in football…

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I’d like to dedicate this week’s Beyond the Numbers to Week 6’s fantasy darling: Jay Ajayi. His 204 yard explosion versus Pittsburgh goes against every data point you could have on the guy, and gives a little bit of credit to a “beyond the numbers” mentality. Everyone seems to be flip flopping more than Ajayi’s mascot about whether he or Arian Foster will be the main man (myself included), and hopefully now we’ve found our answer. That joke would’ve probably landed better if Miami’s mascot was a fish, but hey, you got to work with what you got. This week, I’m on the lookout for the next monster performance, so let’s get to it…

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Well, minus the pants, that was probably the most regular looking color rush game (thank the lord!) of the year so far. But yeah, the Bears (DUUUUUH BEARS, if we’re doing the “iconic” pronunciation) has now officially become the NFL’s very own simulation on the cycles of depression. True, with this game being of the usual Thursday Night Football variety (Jaguars versus Titans next week? Were we Nazis in our previous life? Is that why we get that?), we had a really close game at the half… you know, a 3-6 “close game”, buuuuut there were legitimate reasons for that beyond it being just Thursday. I mean, the Bears were down to their third string quarterback behind a patchwork offensive line, their defensive secondary was in tatters, and on the other side, the Packers had Mike McCarthy (who is pretty much Marty Schottenheimer with a ring.) And while it would have been entertaining if the Bears accidentally derped their way into beating their NFC North rivals for the first time this millennium, alas, it was not to be, as vintage Aaron Rodgers decided to finally show up this season, albeit for two quarters. But I guess Chicago wouldn’t have noticed anyways because: Cubs. Connor Barth kicking. Matt Barkley quarterbacking. Ka’Deem Carey at runing back. Kyle Long not playing (this all must have been Cutler’s doing). Signs of the Apocalypse some would say… or what Chicago calls “normal”.

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ST. LOUIS, MO - NOVEMBER 15: Todd Gurley #30 of the St. Louis Rams carries the ball in the first quarter against the Chicago Bears at the Edward Jones Dome on November 15, 2015 in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)

Welcome to Week 6! This is my favorite time of the fantasy year. We get to reflect on the last five weeks, figure out the missing pieces that are needed to take our fantasy game to take the next step, and act upon those missing pieces. If things have gone bad for you, don’t worry about it, and if things have gone pretty terribly, don’t worry about it as well. Some situations such as those with C.J. Anderson and Devontae Booker have fantasy owners asking themselves, “Who do I stash?”, or “Who has the better future in hold”? Questions like these might make or break your fantasy year based off of timing and effective Waiver Wire maneuvering. However, not all running backs are being threatened of workload to an up-and-coming rookie in the fold. Some backs have the job locked up, and are even moving on to an increasingly larger workload based off of numerous factors. So let’s head out to L.A. and get started!

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