I guess this is the part of the review where I open with being impressed, right? Where I shine the light on the best player in the game and point out his virtues and then back it up with the stat line for proof. But the thing is, I don’t think I have it in me to misrepresent the facts. You see, tonight the cake was a lie. Sure, the end line for Colin Kaepernick looked nice: 15/24 for 235 and 3 passing TDs to go with 20 yards rushing. If that were on my team, I wouldn’t turn it down at all. Heck, I’d marry that end line even if it were my half-sister…sorry, lost in a few leagues this week. My desperation levels for a win knows no bounds sometimes. Take that Blue Lagoon! I just one-upped you in nastiness. And when did Brooke Shields become a man? I was not privy to this change…nevertheless, all we’re talking about is stats when we look at that Kaep end line. What we don’t talk about is game flow, defensive game plan and the quick response. The first three drives by SF took a total of 4 minutes, 22 seconds and showed how the ‘skins planned to attack SF. They told the 49ers they were gonna sell out on the run and make Kaepernick pass for the win. But when you give up as much on the ground as Washington does fantasy wise – 2nd most according to ESPN heading into Monday – and you’re still one of the worst against the pass (5th worst against opposing QBs), you’ve got to draw a line in the sand somewhere and say what you’re going to target in a game. And pretty much, the ‘skins dictated that if the 49ers were going to beat them, they’d have to do it through the air by stacking the box and Kaep said ‘thank you for this opportunity’. In reality, this game was no less mistake-laden than other Colin performances have been this year, it was simply masked by an inferior opponent and game flow so now, everyone is going to be talking about Kaep bicep kisses for a week. Well, consider me not one of them. I still think Kaep can be great but I’ve seen a timid and unsure Colin one too many times this year when the first read doesn’t go his way. Consider this a warning, Kaep owners: Washington is the worst at seemingly everything on defense and yet they decided to let Kaep try and beat them. Not something that would make me confident moving forward. In other news from MNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
So I finally got to watching Flight last night, and I love the way it made me think of fantasy. Mostly because most of my teams make me want to go on one of those Denzel benders. But seriously, I loved the tie in of flight or flight. The majority of owners with bad teams flight it away and don’t check their teams, however some of us fight it out, invert the plane and try to save our dignity. As much as I tried to skirt past with the lies and manipulation (“my team sucks because everyone got hurt!”), I finally fessed up, got a lot of courage and purported “I drafted bad, I managed bad week one, I managed bad week two, I’m managing bad now!” And with a little bit of good fortune and waiver wire moves, I turned a 14-teamer where I drafted in order (and this is no joke) Ray Rice, Stephen Jackson, Randall Cobb, Marques Colston, Ryan Mathews, Daryl Richardson, T.Y. Hilton (that one worked!), Kenbrell Thompkins and Michael Vick into an actual playoff contending team. None of those guys I was particularly high on – just how the draft played out – and through a series of moves and pickups I’m 4-6 and a game out of the playoffs. Fight! This is a pivotal week for me and I’m sure a lot of teams in Razzball Nation as we start getting into the playoff push crunch time.Please, blog, may I have some more?
MFer I’m a monster in this game, similar to the Lochness. My writing’s nappy rooted, all my pieces have a process. Greetings all! Tis I, Beddict, back with more fantasy football goodness, and boy am I excited tonight. No, not because Chris Johnson scored 2 TDs on Thursday night football, but for the reason that more biblical fairy tales are being turned into movies. If you’re anything like me, you’ve been hungrily awaiting a Passion of the Christ sequel. We aren’t receiving that YET, but it’s bound to happen some day right. We can always count on Uncle Mel to deliver us the classics. Instead we get my main man Russell Crowe in the blockbuster, Noah, and man does it look scrumptious. While it doesn’t have Gibson’s maniacal touch, it does reunite Crowe with Jennifer Connelly as they, with God’s help, wipe the face of the earth of all other human life. The Elder Gods laugh hysterically about these children’s tails but one has to wonder how Hollywood has waited so long to turn these fascinating works of fiction into billion dollar hits. This is only the beginning as we should soon expect big budget pictures about Peter walking on water, the Ethiopian in the desert, the stoning of Stephen, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea, Daniel in the lion’s den, and the aforementioned Christ sequel. I for one am praying on a trilogy depicting the battle of David and Goliath, Hobbit style. Peter Jackson would be a perfect fit in bringing these storybooks to life and if the Gods will it, Elijah Wood could even play the role of David. Hollywood is sitting on a goldmine and we are the main benefactors. Rejoice!
I should probably now write something regarding football since that’s why they pay me the big bucks. Let’s lead off with John Carlson since he seemingly returned from the dead like Jesus Christ himself. Take heed.
I should probably now write something regarding football since that’s why they pay me the big bucks. Let’s lead off with John Carlson since he seemingly returned from the dead like Jesus Christ himself. Take heed.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m looking across my lineups this week, and I’m feeling like my teams’ narratives are like The Other Guys. My Samuel L. and the Rock who were guns blazin’ and taking care of business have gone down to ridiculous injuries, and I’ve got to go with the wild card play of the cop who shot Derek Jeter, then the lanky cop with the crazy Gator past (no not Aaron Hernandez!) to try and fill in. Marlon Brown last week got me my first desk pop! Those TDs were nice. So I’m hoping to be your Michael Keaton and get the police unit to work together, while also trying to keep my Bed Bath & Beyond profitable and my employees from chasing waterfalls.
Going back to last week’s picks, Marlon Brown actually won me a league last week! I liked that one. Terrelle Pryor and Josh McCown gave you solid games as deep QB plays, and Le’Veon Bell also was very solid. My very deep Myles White call was more for James Jones behind hypothetically out, then the Aaron Rodgers injury made things worse, but a loss nonetheless. For my benchers, Matt Ryan was awful and I indeed got the Vincent Jackson bench right! I feel like I’ve missed on VJax 4-5 times over the past 2 years. Fred Jackson was a wash, but Tom Brady and Danny Amendola had huge games. My bad on that one, I knew the Steelers D was bad, but didn’t think the Pats O would get it together. Here’s who I like in week 10 and their % started in ESPN and Yahoo, respectively (NOTE – these are not always recommendations for 1-for-1 swaps, just guys I like who are understarted and guys I hate overstarted):Please, blog, may I have some more?
So you need to find a temporary replacement for Aaron Rodgers huh? Is no one safe anymore? Luckily, there are some QBs with pretty solid matchups this week that might be available to you. Jake Locker plays Jacksonville and we all know how great Jacksonville has been this year. There’s also Eli Manning who plays against Oakland. I’m not saying he’s gonna light up Oakland like Nick Foles did this past weekend, but I’ve done some research on this Eli guy and it turns out he has two Super Bowl rings so he should be competent enough. Also, speaking of Foles, he’s still available in well over half of leagues out there and against a Green Bay team that has given up a lot of points this year and won’t have Aaron Rodgers to eat up the clock, Foles should have plenty of time to throw another 7 TDs, or at least maybe 3.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Unfortunately I am not Bryan Cranston or Jessie Pinkman (he plays himself, right?) and I am not Breaking Bad. Well I am in the Razzball Writer’s League! Wait, by breaking bad I mean doing good. Kinda the antithesis of my metaphor here. Scrap that open – I’m too lazy to hold down delete though…
Whilst I break bad in the Razzball Writer’s league, I’m looking at a 4-1 then two 3-2 and two 2-3 teams. I know you’re yelling at your computer, “I don’t care about JB’s leagues!” But what I’m trying to get at is that week 6 is right when I want to be sure I’m breaking mediocrity. If I’m below .500 heading into week 6 it means I’m 2-4 and probably toast. Or 1-5 or 0-6, and only consuming alcohol. So in those two 2-3 record leagues, I’m staring down the barrel of some really horrible matchups. I feel like the Jags this week.
And if you’re looking for one the absolute sweetest
blue ice fantasy contests this weekend, DraftKings still has an exclusive double up contest for us at Razzball that has a ton of spots open. Easiest way to double your money you’ll find all weekend. Unless of course, you want to risk working for Heisenberg – and by that I mean in ABQ not any of the RCL teams! (Sky is going to get angry for using Breaking Bad references in my open since that’s his meth, isn’t he? But I’m the one who knocks!)
With Julio Jones likely out for the season, now might be a good time to take a gamble on Harry Douglas or make a trade for either Steven Jackson or Roddy White if you can get them. When an offensive weapon like that goes down, the surrounding cast all has to step up to the plate. They all come with question marks, but considering how disappointing Atlanta has been this year, there’s a chance you could get one of them for a relatively low price. That all being said, Atlanta is on bye this week so be sure to factor that into your decisions.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I had the audacity…nay, the paucity (not really a good word to use here but it kinda works)…better yet the ignorancy (not a really real word at all) to go and rank Frank Gore 22nd overall amongst fantasy running backs this week in my Weekly Rankings. After finishing last week with a decent number and the complaining that he did in the days leading up to tonight, I should’ve known my ranking would come back to haunt me. Mike Wallace did it, I had been warned. Or was that the ghost of Gore from years past *faintly heard in the distance is Frank screeching I’m not dead yet!*. Whatever the culprit, Gore dropped upon his fantasy owners a much needed boost for his believers, carrying the load for 153 yards on the ground on 20 carries with a touchdown and a lone, measly you’re not gonna lose your week because of it fumble on the night. It was very much vintage Gore. And that’s why I still strongly encourage the sell. I used the word vintage for a reason, ya know. Look, tonight’s game aside, he’s brought you 47 yards a game and only one TD. Great for a flex but not so great if he’s one of your main backs you rely on from week to week. I would use this game and last week’s 82 rushing yards vs a very inferior rushing opponent as a springboard to bigger and better things in your league. As much as I love Gore, he’s just not the RB2 we were looking for. In other news for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings! Tis I, the fabulous Mr. Beddict, here to review some stats I found downright fascinating from the NFL’s opening weekend. You know me as Razzball’s resident fantasy football and now fantasy baseball champion(is it too early to say that?No), philanthropist, model, escort, and part-time stripper. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that when I’m around, women flock like the salmon of Capistrano. And if there’s another thing I know, it’s how to absolutely dominate in the field of fantasy sports. I’m not one to brag or self promote my but my legend runs deeper than the Mariana Trench. Help me help you in winning your fantasy title this season. Brotherhood of Razzball readers; I’d rather fight beside you than any other site and their millions of peasants. Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions! Do you know what’s there, waiting, beyond the regular season? Immortality! Take it, it’s yours!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Due to “technical difficulties,” the DraftKings Razzball Studio was unable to support having me on the show this week. We all know that Nick was screening my calls. He just couldn’t take the reaming he was going to get about David Wilson. I was frothing at the mouth for this podcast like the end of Old Yeller. If only there was someone in the fantasy community that has been anti-Wilson since he was drafted! The David Wilson hot tub gonna be lonely tonight! All I have to say is none of my teams got that nice little negative 2.10 and Nick is still gonna get it next week. I mean, the phone system being down then Nick gets to make a one-sentence joke at me to get out of it? Really?! REALLY?! Luckily our resident West Coasters – Editor-In-Chief Sky and Awesome-In-Chief Murph – were able to record their segments on Waiver Wire moves and injuries. Since I wasn’t able to get connected, as promised an RCL shout out to the top-scoring team through Sunday to Milton’s Street Team in Guru’s Razzbro League putting up 200.78 points led by Colin Kaepernick and Anquan Boldin. Special shout out to the #2 scoring team Will and the Pirates - my mole in the Nick the Podcast Host League! I wanted a good friend in that league to be sure Nick’s record stays lower than the Jaguars. They put up 199.38 led by Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson; should be a tough team. Go Pirates! I’ll have a full article recapping everything RCL coming out tomorrow with the official high-scoring week 1 winner and a look into each league’s early front-runners.