Welcome to Reservations For Six where everyday the specials are touchdowns. Party of five, no problem. Come in, sit down and let’s talk about six point plays. And don’t forget to tip your server. Touchdowns are the cherry on top of your Sunday fun day. The icing on the cake. And sometimes a touchdown is the only thing that can salvage a shitty stat line. When your receiver only has two receptions for 20 yards with only a few minutes to go and he reels in a 12-yard touchdown you are able to breathe a little easier. Instead of just 4 points in your PPR league, you now have 12.2 and are that much closer to a win or further from a loss if you’re the glass half empty kind. But touchdowns just don’t grow on trees. If they did, I have at least one in my backyard right next to my row of money trees. Unfortunately I have neither. Receiving touchdowns begin with targets. If the ball’s not thrown to you, then you can’t catch it. And if you can’t catch it, you can’t score a touchdown. At least not without a comedy of errors and a handful of luck. Let’s take a look what’s going on inside the red zone when the ball is thrown. Who’s being targeted? How do those targets translate to touchdowns? Who’s making the most of their red zone targets? How about the least?Please, blog, may I have some more?
This was the only game highlight worth showcasing. Seriously.
I could have watched Fear Factor re-runs and come away with the same general feelings that I left with at the end of this game. In true Thursday Night Football fashion, I wasn’t quite sure what I was watching, and at what approximate time the 49ers actually showed up. I’m pretty sure it was around the third quarter, but my memory of that moment is fuzzy at best, and they must have left quickly thereafter. Maybe they were never there to begin with? (Not that it would have made any difference.) I think it’s fair to say that the Seahawks problem still exist, but lucky for them, teams like the 49ers exist to allow a reprieve comparable to a bye week and the almighty sports term “momentum” to be built. Now, that won’t solve Seattle’s long-term problem of their away jerseys looking like they accidentally washed them with their home jersey’s, but a win here is a start. And look, Jim Tomsula may not be the best rookie coach out there, but I swear to God, he did an absolute fantastic job cleaning my windshield the other day… (And by the way, that was three Pearl Jam songs CBS played last night, for those keeping score at home.)
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Last week The Dillon Panthers, my team in the Razzball Writers League, scored 168.64 points, making quick work of Jay’s team and elevating me to an astounding 6-0 record. Out of all the RCL’s, there are currently only thirteen undefeated teams remaining. Yours truly is fired up to be a member of that list and will look to keep rolling this week. But before we step ahead into the future, let’s jump in our DeLorean DMC-12 and go back in time to last weekend and see what lineup would have been strong enough to have knocked me out of the ranks of the unbeaten.
When asked for a list of players that would have outscored 168.64 points, Biff Tannen opened his Gray’s Sports Almanac and muttered, “How about these buttheads” as he rattled off the following list of players. “Together they combined for 173.81 points. Now why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here.”Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, I guess someone forgot to remind us that Jamaal Charles bi-annual end-of-season injury was due. Looking to go up 24-3 in the third quarter against the Bears, the Chiefs drove into the red zone, and on a seemingly normal (and patented Andy Reid run-up-the-middle with one of the best outside-the-number runners in football) play, Charles twisted his knee moving left to right (as shown above). And that’s the moment the Chiefs season ended. Based off of initial tests, it appears that Charles has suffered a torn RCL in his right knee. And if that wasn’t enough, the Bears were able to mount a comeback and win the game 18-17. If I didn’t know any better, I would say this was probably the Chiefs at their most Chiefiest moment. While many would look to Knile Davis to try and fill in for what was essentially 90% of Kansas City’s offense, Charcandrick (his stripper name, I’m sure) West will look to be Alex Smith’s new check-down artist. Yes, starting 1-4 is pretty bad. And losing your star player who handles the bulk of your offense is devastating. But hey, it could be worse… you could be the Detroit Lions…
Here’s what else I saw this past Sunday in Week 5:
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Greetings! After witnessing Peyton the redeemer, AKA Peyton the Elder, DECIMATE the once proud hearts of Kansas City Chiefs fans, I have two questions for you fine people: 1) Can we now put a stop to doubting Manning in the regular season? The old geezer may live off of Papa John’s and Chicken Parm, but on Thursday Night Football, he served nothing but grizzly tube-steak, force feeding the veiny meat down the throats of the Chiefs secondary. And 2) Are we going to stop complaining about the quality of TNF games? The battle started out limper than Stephen Baldwin’s career, but when that whistle blew, I find it difficult to believe ANY of you were questioning the quality of entertainment you just witnessed. Yes, I was once a detractor of TNF games, but with the inclusion of many more inter-divisional games and the upgraded ability for teams to prepare on a short week, going back to last season, it’s actually been quite solid. Enough of tonguing Peyton’s taint, though I know many of you would like to dive further into the discussion, the purpose of this post is to inform you of my most inner thoughts and dark secrets regarding Sunday and Monday’s games.
I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em! Take heed!
You can check out my rankings here, for all your roster needs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
One of my favorite things about fantasy football is the tracking of average draft position (ADP). I don’t care that it’s only mid May and the NFL draft is only a couple weeks in the books. I am always interested in seeing were the mind of the so called “experts” and the “average Joe’s” (me) are at when it comes to valuing certain players. I believe it’s never to early to being able to spot trends among players or positions that will be of valuable information come your draft or drafts. Now that we got that out of the way, I would like to talk about one trend that seems to have caught my eye in early drafts. It has to do with the wide receiver group, in particular, the older players and them being undervalued that is looming large at the moment.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As Grey pointed out yesterday, I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite holiday of the year, mostly because I cook, drink, and football the sh*t out of it. And, of course, it’s a day of thanks, so what better thing is there to do than to thank you, the Razzball community? Well, now that I think of it, I should probably thank your mom for that one thing at that one position that happened multiple times… But seriously, the truth is, I’ve been lucky to be given the opportunity to entertain, help, and interact with all you, and I love it. And all I have to do is fart and d*ck jokes all day long. That being said, after enjoying my extravaganza of a feast (I’d be happy to share my recipes in the comments if you’re interested), I will admit… I may have napped too long. When I woke up and saw the ending of the Eagles-Dallas game, I thought I slept right into December. In fact, Romo actually saw his shadow yesterday, confirming that Romocember has arrived early. There was also a Bears-Lions game that was captivating for about a quarter and then there was a Seahawks-49ers match-up featuring Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll. And I’ll admit, I hadn’t seen an interaction between two assholes like that since I watched Requiem for a Dream…Please, blog, may I have some more?
DeMarco Murray is no longer on pace to break the single season record for rushing yards. He is, however, on pace to finish the season with 1,973 yards on the ground. To do so he will have to maintain his average of 123 yards per game. Dallas’s remaining opponents are NYG, PHI, CHI, PHI, IND and WAS. The only team that isn’t giving up at least 100 rushing yards per game in that list are the Colts who fall just below at 98.1 yards per game. The New York Football Giants are ranked the worst in the league giving up a league high 144.7 yards per game. These remaining teams combined are allowing 696.2 yards per game. That’s an average of 116 yards. I don’t see Murray maintaing the 123 yards per game pace, but I could definitely see him averaging 85. That would close him out for the season with 1743 yards which would be the 2nd most in a season in the last 5 years behind Adrian Peterson who racked up 2097 yards in 2012. His current pace has him at 390 carries for the season. That number concerns me…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, that was interesting. But only if you’re a Packers fan. Ben Roethlisberger? This is Aaron Rodgers, and he just escalated the situation by scoring 6 touchdowns and NOT losing to the Jets. Which seems like an insurmountable escalation right there. If you missed it (you probably should have), the Bears once again confirmed that they are a terrible football team. If they didn’t come out after half-time, already losing 0-42, I probably wouldn’t have noticed. I doubt the Packers would have noticed, that’s for sure. But who doesn’t want to make history? So for the first time in 90 years, the Bears have now given up 50 plus points in consecutive games. And the
funniest saddest realist part of all this? Oh yeah, that’s right, this is the Bears coming off a bye. Silly Jets fans, and you thought the 2015 first overall draft pick was yours for the taking…
About a week ago, all the buzz in Seattle was about how the decision makers had grown tired of Marshawn Lynch’s antics and that they were ready to chase to him out of town with pitchforks. Apparently, Lynch has a very tense relationship with head coach Pete Carroll and they have little to no communication. You’re kidding me, right? Those two seem like they’d be two peas in a pod. I just had a great idea for a reality show. Lynch and Carroll have to live together in a college dorm room! Every time Pete comes back to their room Marshawn has one of Pete’s ties around the doorknob. Why would Lynch want to be bothered with his head coach when he could care less about the nation’s president? Lynch’s decision to be a “no show” to the team’s Super Bowl victory celebration at the White House did not go over well with many. Sorry Obama, but Marshawn had better things to do than pay you a visit…Please, blog, may I have some more?