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I’ve been married for seven years now, but we’ve been together much longer. Through our relationship, I’ll often turn to her, look deep into her eyes and say, “You know those dogs from Homeward Bound are dead now right?” I get the death stare every time, but readers of Wright on Waivers I have a secret to tell you. I sort of love Homeward Bound. I believe this is the second time I have referenced it in my short time here at Razzball. The scene I like most (spoilers) is when Shadow comes over the hill and sees Peter after their long time apart. It gets me all misty. I mean who does not love a story of someone finally making their way back home. Our lead name in this week’s waiver article is a lot like Shadow. He still has a few journeys and walks ahead of him. It is just nice to see him taking his final trips in a familiar place. Welcome home Cam.

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Welcome to Week 10, ladies and gentlemen. 

We’ve reached a real impasse here over the halfway mark of the NFL season. Major stars are down, breakout players are rolling, and Mike White is a starting quarterback in the NFL. The draft wouldn’t be further behind us and our expectations have been subverted every step of the way. This is where winners are made and losers are born. 

Tuesday’s gone with the wind. And we’re coming up hard on Sunday morning. 

Anyway! The teams on bye this week are the Bears, Giants, Bengals, and Texans. See ya next week!

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I had my first board meeting with the Razzball executives this past week and was it a doozy. If you’re wondering what a meeting with Razzball looks like, it is all very secretive and mysterious. None of our identities are known and we all wear large teddy bear suits. We often get accused of copying the 1998 motion picture The Avengers (no not the Marvel one), but they told me we did it first. At the meeting we addressed how we should refer to the free agent acquisition budget (FAAB) percentages going forth. After two darts in the neck to teddy bears I can only assume were Skorish and JB Barry (neither returned my calls over the weekend), we decided going forth the percentages will still reflect original budget. We would like to thank all who contributed and Reddit for sending their weird bear with the crazy smile. Apparently, he had to pay extra tokens for it and we know this because he just would not shut up about it! Alas, your waivers.

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Ah yes. Week 7. It’s so easy to look over this slate of games and think: “huh. This seems like a boring week”. This might be partially influenced by watching superstars Teddy Bridgewater and Case Keenum face off in an extremely boring game in Cleveland. And listen, you’re probably right. The favorites might just sweep the board and we may experience the most lopsided and dull day in NFL history. But how many times have you really seen that EVER happen? That’s right, it’s always any given Sunday, baby. 

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**VIDEO RELEASED BY ANIME DONKEY TEETH PRIOR TO WEEK 5**

I watched my first boxing match on Saturday night since Conor McGregor “fought” Floyd Mayweather four years ago. I must say, the big dudes this weekend were quite entertaining. I especially enjoyed the theatrical entrances to the ring from Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury—it was like the movie 300 meets the Dave Chappelle’s Prince skit. Game. Blouses. But my goodness, Wilder was pummeled by the Gypsy King in that heavyweight bout. The only ones beat up worse than the Bronze Bomber this weekend were the New York Giants who lost Saquon Barkley to a nasty-looking sprained ankle, Daniel Jones to a concussion and Kenny Golladay to a hyperextended knee. But as the old saying goes: when one ankle swells to the size of a doggy door, another buy-window opens. Devontae Booker may only have a week or two in the limelight, but if Sunday was any indication (16 carries for 42 yards, 3 receptions for 16 yards and 2 touchdowns), Booker should see a heavy workload until Barkley is back and should be added everywhere. That’s not the only Giant buy this week, though. First-round rookie Kadarius Toney erupted for 189 receiving yards on 10 receptions. Captain Obvious here again to tell you Toney is worth a roster spot in your league. Yes, your league too. The kid might have catapulted himself into the alpha role for the Giants, which is a very fantasy-friendly role as they’ll be playing from behind often this year. Toney and Booker with be two of the top adds for week 6 with Toney possibly holding substantial value for the remainder of the year. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

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I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween and you get to pick out the good stuff from your kids’ candy bag. Man, even if you don’t have kids, I hope you bought the kind of candy that YOU like to hand out to trick-or-treaters. Two for me, one for you. That’s how this works. I spent my Halloween by drinking beers in my friend’s garage while the kids went out into the world, but after that, I took a private jet to the first annual mid-season Razzballies. It was a glorious event and all of the best and worst of fantasy football came out. Ezekiel Elliott was there in a cutoff shirt. Dwayne Bowe received a lifetime achievement award. Each winner received a different phallic trophy that was uniquely designed by our own Donkey Teeth. I made it just in time to catch all of the major awards and here is what I saw.

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Falcons are a protected species in the United States, but over in India they actually have an annual two-week falcon hunt where thousands upon thousands of falcons are massacred each year. It was on a pilgrimage to the Taj Mahal that Will Fuller developed a taste, or rather an addiction, to these beautiful birds of prey. So when the Falcons glided into Houston on Sunday, they never stood a chance against the bloodthirsty Fuller as he went off for 217 yards on 14 catches with his first 3 touchdowns of the season. The Texans wide receiver will now go into hiding for several weeks as the authorities attempt to track him down for his foul treatment of the fowl. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy football:

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playoffs

If you are reading this, congratulations. And I don’t say that just because you are fortunate enough to be reading one of my articles. If you are reading a fantasy football article in Week 14, it is likely because you are in the playoffs and still have a reason to care about your team and your lineup. So, congratulations. I mean it. To those of you who didn’t make the playoffs: see you in hell, candy boys! This is, unfortunately, the last Handcuff Report of the year. It has been a great ride, but we are wrapping things up as the fantasy playoffs begin!

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markingram

It’s Week 13, which means we are heading into the fantasy playoffs soon. I know that because my readership has dwindled the last two weeks, as many fantasy owners have been eliminated from the playoffs and are throwing in the towel. But that’s OKAY. That just means we can be more serious and a bit more intimate now. It’s just me and you, playoff hopefuls.

Heading into this week, Tim Hightower was a name to watch because Mark Ingram was still in the concussion protocol and was questionable to play. If Ingram couldn’t go, Hightower was going to be a high-end flex/RB2 to throw into lineups before they locked on Sunday. But word came out on Sunday morning that Ingram was going to play, so many likely left Hightower on the bench or on the waiver wire.

But something funny happened. It didn’t matter that Ingram played. Ingram and Hightower combined for three touchdowns and almost 300 yards, with Hightower accounting for 51 rushing yards, 54 receiving yards, and one of the touchdowns. Although, Hightower’s final stat line would look a bit different if not for the late 50-yard touchdown pass from wide receiver Willie Snead. If Hightower can keep producing even with a healthy Ingram, he can help out some of the needier fantasy owners come playoff time.

To the report…

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rawls

If you are like me and drafted Thomas Rawls in August but managed to stay patient and hang onto him until now, take a bow. I’ll bow with you. September and October were some dark times, my friends, but here we are. Rawls is the top dog in Seattle, and it looks like it will stay that way for the rest of the season now that Christine Michael got shipped out of town and C.J. Prosise is hurt. We did it, guys.

Prosise ran for a 72-yard touchdown in the first quarter on Sunday, but he left the game in the second quarter. It was pretty much all Rawls for the rest of the game, with a little bit of Troymaine Pope (who also got hurt). The Seahawks getting rid of Christine Michael meant they were ready to roll with Prosise and Rawls as their top guys and that they were confident Rawls would be healthy and effective. Now that Prosise is out of the picture, it’s all Rawls, baby.

Rawls rushed 14 times for 57 yards (4.1 YPC) and added three catches for 31 yards, giving him 88 total yards on the day. Heading into the fantasy playoffs, getting an every down back like Rawls into your lineup could be just what your team needs to get that extra edge (I know my team, where I went zero RB and took Rawls as my RB1 LATE, is sitting pretty now that I have him back). The best part about the Prosise injury* is that it means Rawls will see more action on passing downs. They will find a way to spell him here and there, but Rawls should be an every down back going forward and should catch his fair share of passes.

Things change quickly in the NFL, and it seems like just last week we were excited about the idea of a Prosise-Rawls backfield combination. But this week was about much more than Thomas Rawls and how happy we all are to have him back.

To the report. . .

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C.J. Prosise rushes against the New England Patriots

If you played your cards right, 2016 may have been one of the best seasons ever to roll with a zero RB strategy in your draft. Not only have there been a litany of running back committees utilized across the league, but legitimate RB1s and RB2s have been emerging all year. Take a look at this list: Jordan Howard, Devontae Booker, Spencer Ware, C.J. Prosise, Robert Kelley. Those guys were all either not drafted at all or were taken later in drafts as a handcuff or dice roll option (I actually drafted Booker in one league but dropped him after a few weeks because I need the roster spot. D’oh!).

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