LOGIN

308865_362816553811471_2134784928_n

As Grey pointed out yesterday, I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite holiday of the year, mostly because I cook, drink, and football the sh*t out of it. And, of course, it’s a day of thanks, so what better thing is there to do than to thank you, the Razzball community? Well, now that I think of it, I should probably thank your mom for that one thing at that one position that happened multiple times… But seriously, the truth is, I’ve been lucky to be given the opportunity to entertain, help, and interact with all you, and I love it. And all I have to do is fart and d*ck jokes all day long. That being said, after enjoying my extravaganza of a feast (I’d be happy to share my recipes in the comments if you’re interested), I will admit… I may have napped too long. When I woke up and saw the ending of the Eagles-Dallas game, I thought I slept right into December. In fact, Romo actually saw his shadow yesterday, confirming that Romocember has arrived early. There was also a Bears-Lions game that was captivating for about a quarter and then there was a Seahawks-49ers match-up featuring Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll. And I’ll admit, I hadn’t seen an interaction between two assholes like that since I watched Requiem for a Dream

Please, blog, may I have some more?

i

In what was a pretty subdued game for most of the night, there were plenty of opportunities for the Rams to take advantage of, but they managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory multiple times, with the 49ers capitalizing on those mistakes. While you could probably point to the Gruden curse having a huge effect here (comparing Austin Davis to Drew Brees is nothing short of… questionable, we’ll call it), it was probably a bit much to count on him to drive 90 yards for a game-winning drive. So the pick-six to Dontae Johnson saved everyone the trouble. But, on a lighter note, it was 1999 throwback night to celebrate the “Greatest Show on Turf”. Obviously having Marshall Faulk and Kurt Warner on full display was fantastic timing on a night that saw Zac Stacy run up the middle for a few yards at a time and Austin Davis… not be Kurt Warner. But hey, two dollar hot dogs and three dollar beers seems like a wonderful way to get people to watch the Rams. Because you can’t really do it with just the Rams.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

jim-schwartz-lions

In a thrilling day of footballing, there were nine games decided by a touchdown or less, three games decided by a field goal or less, and two overtime victories. It was enough to make some teams (looking directly at you Jim Caldwell and the Lions) wonder why someone like Alex Henery, who single-handedly (or footedly? Is that a word?) lost the game against the Kyle Orton led Bills 17-14, (to what was a 58-yard field goal to Dan Carpenter) still holds a job in the NFL. Missing one field goal is okay. Missing two is unacceptable. Missing three in a game, one of which came with 51 seconds remaining… well… if anything, Henery should be immediately cut just for allowing the above photo to be a thing. Fun fact: If you look up the word “d*ckish” in the dictionary, you’ll find a smug Jim Schwartz smiling right back at you. And while you could easily see getting carried off the field after beating Detroit in the fifth week of the regular season as the most Buffalo thing ever (landing as a tie with eating and drinking too much before sobbing uncontrollably… or is that Cleveland?), apparently asking your team to do this in the preseason, as far back as OTA’s seems, I don’t know, spiteful? Smarmy? Maladjusted? Well, to be fair, with Schwartz, no one would ever see him being that kind of guy… But hey, some good came out of this. Kyle Orton threw for over 300+ yards with a touchdown against the number one ranked defense in the NFL, which is pretty good. And probably the eighth sign that the end of the world is here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

  • You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
  • You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
  • Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
  • You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
  • Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
  • New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
  • New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.
Please, blog, may I have some more?

For a fourth straight season, Razzball will be interviewing local NFL beat writers for some actual in-depth football knowledge to shed some additional light on our fantasy football knowledge.  Keep your eye out for an interview for every NFL team through the summer.  This installment comes courteous of Kevin O’Connor from leading New England Patriots blog Pats Pulpit:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You ever get the feeling that things are too good to be true? Like that one time that hot girl from chem class Candice invited you over because she just couldn’t figure out how she was gonna survive that Algebra test and you thought to yourself ‘she has an ‘A’ in that class, no way she’s asking me over for a study session’. So you dress up in your best Mossimo t-shirt, your cool bandana, your shell necklace, threw your jansport bag on your back and trudged over for a little ‘studying’. Then you got there and all of her friends were there, books out on the table. She had her hair in a messy bun while wearing her reading glasses and a gym shirt while everyone was arguing over what a polynomial was. There was no reason for you to think the situation was any more then what it looked like except for the fantasies racing around in your head telling you different. Well I’m here to tell you something very similar is going on with our freshly coifed friend Wes Welker and his fantasy outlook this year. So follow me as I move on from my Candice fantasies and move onto why Welker will let you down for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well this will be my last ranking post with words on each player. I know you want to cry but hold back the tears, friends, we’ll still be with you all summer to cover any rankings updates that need updating and any Amanda Bynes news that needs ignoring. When we last left off on our rankings with the Top 80 Wide Receivers, I said we were in the ‘Veddy Interesting’ tier and that it stretched into the Top 100. Or else Puck a liar call, that still holds true. Oh and if you’re wondering where that link came from, you can click here where I’ve magically hyperlink typed Rankings or you can use all your finger strength and move up to the menu bar where it says ‘Rankings’ to find all your needs fulfilled. At this point of my rankings clearly I’m talking to deep leaguers or the completely insane (which, admittedly, can be one and the same person) so if you’re doing the regular 10 or 12 team thing with the usual roster set up, feel free to ignore. These remaining ain’t for you unless you enjoy the whimsy of my writing (and who doesn’t!). So without more delay, let’s get to the Top 100 Wide Receivers for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Now this is the section of wide receivers that’s interesting to review for 2013 reasons. Many of these guys were hurt by their QB’s poor play or hurt themselves. However, this section is also full of second half bloomers that just might be cheap options come draft day. So strap on whatever you like to strap on to read this type of stuff because we’re going to review these wide receivers based off of my 2012 fantasy football rankings and compare my projections with their end of season rankings care of yahoo’s PPR system. Now that we have that established, let’s take a look at the top 40 wide receivers that were for the 2012 fantasy football season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It started off as a simple idea. We thought to ourselves ‘man, we have a lot of writers this year. Why don’t we all start a league together? Wouldn’t that be fun?’. And then a few weeks passed. And then a few more. And then a week before the season started we thought to ourselves ‘man, we have a lot of writers this year. Why don’t we all start a league together? Wouldn’t that be fun?’. Only the second time we followed through and in the end, twelve Razzball writers entered the yahoo league and only one left the victor. For your reading pleasure, we bring to you the Razzball Writers League that was, in their own words…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey everyone, I’ve got a 2012 sleeper for ya.  He’s now on the Patriots where one of his former offensive coordinators in Josh McDaniels resides.  The last time this sleeper was matched up with McDaniels for a full season for the Broncos, he had a career year: 77 receptions, 1,448 receiving yards and 11 touchdowns.  […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Get it? Andrew Hawkins?  Hawkin’?  Eagles?  So much pun, so little time.  The truth of the matter is it’s playoff time and we all know you’re most likely a strong enough team or else you wouldn’t be here.  But injuries can always happen.  It’s why I carry around a first aid kit where ever I […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?