Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

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What’s going on everybody,! Hopefully you all had a better Week 2 than I did. Granted I won some leagues, but I did expect some huge games from players that really let me down. I’ll tell you who had a great week though…

Rudy and the Tools! I said it a few times during my rankings post, if you are waiting to subscribe to our fantastic season-long and DFS tools, you are simply wasting money. If Week 1 is any indication, and I think it is, this should be a huge year for Rudy and the rest of the gang here at Razzball. And if it is going to be a huge year for us, why shouldn’t it be a huge year for you guys as well?

Well without further ado, let’s get into some Razzball certified picks for Week 2, with some DFS knowledge at the very end thanks to our great lineup optimizers. Let’s get to it!

Note: Projections are based off of standard scoring leagues.

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What’s going on everyone, and welcome to Week 2! I have to admit, after a few months of getting hyped up, I was let down just a bit, with some very lackluster games during the afternoon and evening. But hey, isn’t the first week always the weirdest? Isn’t that what they say? They do know! Well it is Wednesday my dudes, so let’s dive into my first glance at the Week 2 rankings, but before we do, let’s take a brief recap of the week that was.

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

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Can you guys feel it? Football is back baby! It feels forever ago that the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead, and now, for the first time in 7 months, we now can get back to meaningful football! I can’t wait! I can’t wait to fall asleep on my couch to the soothing voice of Scott Hansen, waking up and getting frustrated that my players are doing absolutely nothing, only to realize that it’s only the 2nd quarter and then falling back asleep to avoid watching Houston vs. Jacksonville.

It’s going to be a fun and hopefully very long season, so let’s jump right into it with my Week 1 rankings!

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What?! How did I get here? Where are the OF’s, SP’s and 3B’s?! Where are the thoracic outlet surgeries and 10 day DL stints? How are these guys playing through their blisters?!

Well with baseball season winding down, I’ll be moving from my weekly baseball injury article to taking over the weekly fantasy football waiver wire article. I’ll highlight players under-owned in most leagues who could provide you a boost when your starters are injured, facing a tough defense or are playing in a blizzard.

You obviously won’t see anyone over 50% owned in ESPN leagues. Heck, you might not even see guys owned in 40% of leagues. If I’m feeling REALLY saucy you won’t find anyone owned in over 25% of leagues! SCREW IT! I’M ONLY GOING TO LIST GUYS OWNED IN 0% OF LEAGUES! NO WAIT! ONLY CFL PLAYERS!

Anyway, if you’re still looking for a RCL to join may I recommend: Kerry’s RCL League! We’re drafting Wednesday night, September 6th @ 10 PM. Unless someone falls down the stairs while carrying deer meat at 3 AM on Thursday morning — you won’t have to draft anyone who gets injured before their first game even starts! 

It is hard to make waiver recommendations when we’re all just excited to play our big name starters we spent high draft picks on, but here are some guys whose ownership is going to be going up in the first few weeks that you can jump on ahead of your league mates:

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Something you didn’t know you wanted until now… I didn’t even know I wanted this until it was made. Much like your mother. You can find Razzball’s Quarterbacks Preview here. You can find Razzball’s Quarterback Rankings here. And Razzball’s Visualized Tiers for Quarterbacks (probably the best draft accessory you can bring as part of your ensemble) can be found after the jump!

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Welcome to Razzball’s Fantasy Football Preview series, where yours truly will guide you, caress you, perhaps even coddle you through your draft preparations and processes. Mmm, processes. And while none of this may be legal and I’ll end up with multiple restraining orders, rest assured that we’ll all be the better for it. Maybe. We’ll go in depth (that’s what she said) at every position… well, the positions that actually count (I’m looking at you Kickers and DSTs…), going over some analysis, the tiers, and any illuminating observations I might have. Because light bulbs are just the coolest thing. Said everyone from the 1800s. Before you get settled down, please refer to Razzball’s 2017 Fantasy Football Draft Rankings, and specifically for this post, refer to our Quarterback Rankings

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Ever since Jim Harbaugh left for Michigan to chase Ohio State in the Big Ten, the NFC West has been a tale of two teams.  The Seattle Seahawks and Arizona Cardinals have traded blows over the past few seasons to represent the West with a home playoff game.  This season is business as usual for the Seahawks.  Seattle continues to reload while getting healthy where they were shorthanded the prior season.  The Cardinals are becoming more of a question mark as Father Time creeps in on offensive weapons that Bruce Arians depends on.

The once left for dead San Francisco 49ers are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel by bringing in John Lynch to be the GM.  Many questioned this tactic until we all witnessed him fleece the Chicago Bears on live television in the most one-sided trade that I can remember.  While we as fantasy team owners know to turn our noses this season, there are a few pieces in place to keep an eye on for the future.  Who knows, maybe there in a 2017 break out star on the 49ers.  We witnessed the magic that Kyle Shanahan can brew up last season with the Falcons.  The Rams changed head coaches but did little else to garner any attention after a disaster-ridden offensive season in 2016.

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“Alexa, what’s the weather like in Buffalo?” “Look outside moron.”

The great leader has spoken and global warming has been confirmed a hoax. I mean, with this much cold weather, how can the Earth be warming? It’s like, if the ice is melting, just get out the bourbon and more ice and enjoy the free air conditioning, maaaan. And if it is snow (prove it!), that’s fine too. I mean, if we can’t have the Game of Thrones premier until next summer, then lets bring it right to Buffalo, am I right? It just makes so much sense, kinda like how Ian Eagle should do play-by-play for porn. But if it isn’t snow (believe it!), we must accept that it’s either massive amounts of cocaine (settle down Michael Irvin, settle down) or the salt of dried tears from all the Julio Jones and Melvin Gordon owners out there. It’s okay, it’s totally normal to end your Fantasy Season like this. I read that on Facebook, the bastion of legitimate news, so I know it’s true. But don’t worry, if you’re looking for a distraction in a post-fantasy football world, or you need something to do the next four years, keep in mind that anything can be a dildo if you’re brave enough…

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Granted, there are many times when the lede’s topic is about the Sunday Night Football game, but sometimes I like to shake things up a bit. If only because there some really annoying things about it, ranging from Cris Collinsworth not taking a vacation in Syria, to the lazy, league approved narratives for everything, all the way to being reminded that NBC’s dramas are still being made. So sometimes, I just need a breather, ya know? And plus, if there’s an opportunity to make fun of the a Jeff Fisher led team, you know I’m going to take it, no questions asked. If you’re new to the site, I’ll give you a brief synopsis of my own personal feelings towards Fisher. You know how the words “winless” and “undefeated” exist? There should be a word for “being two games under .500”, and I think that word should be: JeffFisher. Here, let’s put it in a sentence: “People keep saying that Todd Gurley is regressing to the JeffFisher, but I really just think it’s because the offense is sh*t.” And now we have the first career game from Jared Goff, and it looked about as bad as we were expecting. And I gotta tell you, I lived in Los Angeles for almost five years… this is not the best way to grow a fan base. Not only is Fisher challenging the patience of Rams fans, but also men’s hair fashions. And also my ability to come up with a third thing, but I think you get the point…

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