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Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of “I’m Sorry Guys”, our recurring series here at Razzball where I apologize for not being in the comments for last week’s article and for not doing my normal weekly opening paragraph due to major life events. This week, I’ll talk about how I didn’t write the usual lede because I just got engaged this past weekend, and nobody bothered to tell me that planning a wedding is pretty much a second full-time job. How’d I get engaged, you ask? Well, it was a dreary Saturday in Central Park… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this is actually another installment of Deep Impact, and also that nobody cares how I got engaged (that’s pretty rude, Jay, but thanks for responding to the questions last week). Let’s jump right into these names, folks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, we had some derp, we had a whole bunch of boring, and so… we had your prototypical Monday Night Football game. But clearly, let’s be sure to give them their due, the Vikings are for real. Sorta. Maybe. I mean kinda. That’s my definitive opinion. In what was a not particularly close game (but not really a blow out), the Giants once again proved that they have one of the best wide receiver trio’s in the NFL and have no idea how to use them correctly. Ben Mcadoo-doo and Eli Manning keep trying to make Will Tye a thing, and I have no clue as to why. He’s like the Hollywood version of Jai Courtney. And while the Giants shortcomings on offense have been a big frustrating so far, the same can’t be said for the Vikings. I mean, I haven’t heard this much praise for Norv Turner since he defended Earth from that meteor shower. And who would have thought Sam Bradford was the next coming of “Sam Bradford fulfilling his potential”? I mean, the Vikings are 4-0… incredible. And yeah, half their wins were against the Titans and the Giants, the version of which we saw last night that was quite meh. But the other two are against the Panthers and Packers. You put all this together, and you actually have a team that is on it’s way to the playoffs. And a lot of sad Bears fans…

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Jay has tasked me with writing about FAAB, the player acquisition method formerly known as Free Agent Auction Bidding. I’ll discuss who to pay for and how much to pay. It will also be useful for those of you in traditional waiver leagues, because ultimately it’s about in season player acquisitions. So use this in conjunction with some of the similar posts you’ll see around Razz like the waiver wire and buy/sell posts. Those posts can help inform your FAAB bidding as well. Because after the draft, what remains is roster decisions and lineup decisions.  Razzball has you covered for both this year!

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Let me take you back to the 2010 preseason. Fantasy football buzz was building for Houston Texans running back Arian Foster. The buzz started in the offseason because Foster had put together a pretty good (but short) stretch late in 2009. The buzz reached its peak after he carried the ball 18 times for over 100 yards against the Cowboys in the 3rd preseason game. I didn’t care that much about the gaudy yardage total (though it doesn’t hurt!), it was the usage that caught my eye. He looked like a feature back in the making. Despite this he was still a relatively late pick, RB 24, with an ADP (average draft position) of 54 overall. So he was a high priority target of mine that year because presumed feature backs that come cheap are a very rare and a very good thing. And for the chance to acquire a feature back that late in the draft we should be more than willing to accept the slightly greater risk that comes with a player that has “never done it before”.  I mean Arian Foster’s 2010 situation would be kind of like if Ezekiel Elliott was going in the 5th round.  No brainer, right?

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Alright guys, let’s take a chance to catch our breath.

Wow, what a year so far it has been. From 2014, Daily Fantasy Football has grown so much with advertisements, big winnings, and everything in between. Even here, Razzball didn’t have that much to do with DFS, now we have special contests, cheat sheets, strategy articles (3 cheers!), and a lot of that has to do with you, the readers, and the general public.

However, it is important to take a chance to stop, collect ourselves, and take an opportunity to fix mistakes, change strategy, and figure new ways to cash in with different lineups. This article will touch on mistakes, new strategies to implement, and players that have impacted DFS greatly. Let’s get to it.

Join myself, Jay, and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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Another week, and unfortunately another huge injury. On Sunday, Arian Foster tore his Achilles’ tendon and is out for the season after coming back only a few weeks prior from preseason groin surgery. A tough blow for owners who had seemed to have gotten a steal when drafting him back in August and September. The situation in Houston tough and to try and replace their star running back is not going to be a pretty one. Alfred Blue is expected to receive the first shot at replacing Arian Foster, but it’ll be hard to trust someone that outside of a 31 carry/139 yard/1 touchdown in Week 3 versus Tampa Bay (it’s Tampa Bay for Godsake), has gone for 95 yards rushing on 29 rushing attempts (3.28 yards per carry). He should still be picked up in most leagues but stashed on benches as he can’t be trusted as more than a low end RB3/FLEX option for the time being. Neither Chris Polk nor Jonathan Grimes are worth rostering for the time being, however.

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Luckily there are no major injuries this week that would kill fantasy football owners. Minor injuries? Sure, but that’s what I’m here for. To tell you who to stash, drop, and even start as well. This week, it’s time to part ways with some of our high draft picks even though my heart is literally in pain having to tell you some of them. Even though I did love some of them, I don’t as much anymore and have to let them go for the next “hot thing” to come along.

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In what, dare I say, was a pretty good football game for a majority of the time (let’s just agree to not include a very morose and slug-paced fourth quarter), the Patriots continued their trend of deflating balls, cheating, receiving biased officiating, beating the Colts, which, based on recent history, was really no surprise. However, as I mentioned in last night’s Sunday Night Football Live Thread, this game really had no business being close, and it’s a testament to either Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis offense playing competently or the New England defense not being as good as we thought. In this case, it might have been a little of both (not including fourth downs, as shown above). But eventually, nature was able to drive the score to it’s most natural environment when mistakes from the Colts started to stack, all with a heaping side of LeGarrette Blount to help drive it all home. Which leads me to wonder, when the Colts draft defensive players, do they make sure that they can’t tackle first? Haha, just kidding, the Colts only draft wide receivers. With the win, the Patriots continue, along with the Bengals, Broncos, Packers, and Panthers to be the only unbeaten teams through Week 6. I’d say half of those teams are mediocre and the other half deserve their record. I’ll let you figure out which team gets the 0.5 left over from that equation…

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Please Note: Most lineups in most formats, including Daily Fantasy, will lock at 9:30 AM EDT (6:30 AM PDT) tomorrow because of the London game. Don’t forget to set your lineups accordingly!

Greetings! What an exhilarating Thursday Night Football game! Exhilarating if you enjoy watching dumpster fires or binge watching beastiality videos. Sometimes the Elder Gods like to remind us that their more meaningful things one can do with their time other than watch football games. Are you, like me, obsessed with all things NFL? Do you bail out on your significant other or turn down invitations to try exciting new things, simply because you can’t stand the thought of missing out on a single play? Sometimes it’s nice to take a breather, get out of the house and enjoy not being tortured by fantasy football for a few hours. I’d like to challenge those of you that are suffering from the same addiction as myself, to get out and at least take a walk to clear your head and think about some positive changes you can make in your life. Like, for example, stop saving money for your children’s college funds, and instead, send that money to me so that I may continue funding my quest to become world famous. I have Paypal. Cool? Cool, let’s talk about some players I like and dislike, shall we?

I am Tehol Beddict and this is, Start Em’, Sit Em’! Take heed!

My rankings have been updated for Sunday’s game and can be found here.

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Greetings! What a time to be alive! We’ve all been allowed to witness the glorious gift of the Elder Gods, Tyrod Taylor, make gizzards out of three opposing secondaries. This young legend was COMPLETELY left out of a certain ESPN analyst’s weekly quarterback rankings last week, and I for one believe he deserves to be fired for committing such a despicable act of disgracefulness. After Blake Bortles treated their secondary like a porta-potty the previous week, any respectable man would have to assume Tygod would drop a double-dose of feces on those peasants. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! What are people not seeing?! This stallion has every skill-set imaginable and should only improve from here on out. I’m a TAD concerned with Taylor not having Watkins and McCoy in the arsenal this week against the Giants, but I believe he’ll make up for that just by taking off and running a lot more. By the way, the Giants are DEAD LAST in the NFL in pass yards given up. Suck that in for a second. Oooohweeee, the Rodfather is a top-5 option this week at QB and a must-own in all formats. If you wanna keep hating, I’ll grant you a front row seat into my induction into the “writers wing” of the NFL Hall of Fame (as long as Jay continues editing my work).

I am Tehol Beddict and this is, Disgrace/Delight! Take heed!

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We are here today to point out the difference between the Razzball rankings and those that ESPN has released to the masses. The first difference you’ll probably notice is that there is no Mathew Berry in our rankings. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, I’ll let you decide. Because, hey, I’m just that kind of guy. Beyond that, well, ESPN certainly likes the color of red in their logo. RED EVERYWHERE. Well, touché, we also like a color. And that color is mustache, which is totally a color. Just ask Razzball founder Grey Albright. Not be outdone, I do run around with a five-day shadow on my face on most occasions, which technically counts as facial hair, and a mustache is also facial hair, ergo, the color of mustache. And sure, you could say that I’ve added some yellow to the palette with my face, but then you’d be raycess. Now that the main differences have been established, we’ll move on to things that are more fantasy relevant, well, depending on the type of fantasy that is. Hey now. So after you clear your internet history, we’ll be comparing our rankings to that of ESPN’s and their new “What the ef is this? Facebook? Are you serious” interface. Get yer knives ready!

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As alluded to last week when talking about father-of-the-year Adrian Peterson, I mentioned a fondness of Teddy Bridgewater for the upcoming season. Part of the fondness could be the amount of puns that could be used in his name, but that feels more like a Chris Berman wet dream than anything entertaining beyond a dad joke, but in terms of fantasy football, there’s a lot to like here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?