Fantasy Football Advice

Free Agency has begun!  A lot of rumors were shot into the world yesterday, but not too many of them stuck.  I’ll take you through some of the juicier rumors and the stickier innuendo:

Jake Delhomme: He has been released by the Panthers due to suckiness, but also for money concerns which are boring.  Now that he’s on his way out I feel some regret for constantly mocking him, but he just wigged out and lost all his ability to distinguish his receivers from the other team’s cornerbacks.  With his experience there is no doubt he’ll find a team to give him shelter, but it would be amazing if he were to turn his career around at this point.

Matt Moore: Delhomme’s departure has left the quarterback position for Moore.  This is pretty good news for Steve Smith since Delhomme was having trouble getting him the ball.  Moore isn’t going to be a fantasy starter in the Panther’s run first offense, but he could move his way up into backup status.

Nate Burleson: Burleson has signed with the Detroit Lions.  This is very good news for our man Calvin Johnson.  If Burleson can stay healthy (a Rex Ryan sized if) he will take a lot of heat off Megatron and give Stafford three good targets in Pettigrew, Burls and Megatron.

Chad Pennington: It was looking good for Pennington to head back into the crowded Dolphin’s quarterback club, but he wants a no trade clause that the Dolphins don’t want to give him.  Chad Henne has the starting QB job, and they also like Tyler Thigpen and Pat White.  Pennington doesn’t feel like a necessity.

Chester Taylor: He is visiting Halas Hall today (that’s where the Bears hold their frozen rituals). This visit is very bad news for Forte owners. It doesn’t have to be 3rd down for running backs to catch passes in Mike Martz’s system, but since Forte’s value looks like it will be as a receiver next season, a back like Taylor who can catch the ball will really cut into his numbers.

Julius Peppers: The Bears were busy last night, especially Lovie Smith who showed up on Peppers doorstep at midnight and asked if he could sleep over.  I think they played Madden.  Peppers and Smith will form a singing duo and headline a show in Vegas over the summer.  With Peppers going to Chicago for a visit it’s looking like he’ll probably end up there.  Bears management is looking to save their jobs.

Brandon Marshall: Most of the news coming out about Marshall is that teams don’t want to mess with him.  He has the stink of petulance, a murder trial, and greed, all over him.  The rumor mill has the Seahawks as a suitor right now.  Pete Carroll could really use him now that Burleson is a Lion.

Thomas Jones: No concrete rumors have been circulating.  Can rumors be concrete? Adam Schefter believes the Browns will look hard at Jones which makes a lot of sense.  The Browns don’t believe Jerome Harrison can be an every down back (that must be why they gave him 100 carries in the last three games!).  It’s too early to get into Jones’ impact with the Browns since I have no clue who he’ll be playing for next season.

Darren Sproles: After deciding not to tender the scraptastic back slash kick returner, the Chargers took a gander at their depth chart and saw it peppered with scrubtastic backs, so they rethought and gave Sproles a 1st and 3rd round tender.  But there are rumors that they are willing to trade him for less than his tender.  I’m guessing because they don’t want to pay him 7 million dollars.

Kevin Walter: For some reason he is getting a lot of buzz.  He had a great chance to make some noise in the Texans pass heavy offense last season, especially after TE Owen Daniels went down, but instead he did a whole lot of jack squat.  The Ravens seem to be interested.  Sounds like a recipe for bluh.

Antonio Cromartie: The Jets traded a third rounder for Cromartie.  The guy is a little soft (take a look at his fake attempt at tackling Shonn Greene in the playoffs), but he does have cover skills.  Him and Revis will make the Jets defense even better.  They have to be the first D/ST off the board in drafts next season.

Derrick Mason: I couldn’t see the Ravens letting him go, but there have been rumors flying around that have him going to New England or Miami.  These could be rumors to help Mason get 2 years out of the Ravens.

Anquan Boldin: See above, but add the Ravens.

Aaron Kampman: The Bears were looking hard at Kampman, but harder at Peppers.  It’s now looking like the Seahawks are the front runners in the Kampman race.  His injury may make his signing a little further off, but he’ll help a team.

I amazingly predicted yesterday’s games correctly so there is a good chance I will go o-fer today.  But I’ll give the old MFA in Poetry from a small art school try! I’ll take a look at all four of the playoff games on Monday, so for now get your game face on (not your O face please) and get ready for some hot NFL on FOX and CBS action!

Dallas @ Minnesota 1:00 ET

Fox Announcers: Joe Buck and Troy Aikman

There is a good chance that one of the QB’s in this game will look like a little kid out there, be a gunslinger, or heal blind children with his incredible pocket presence, but only one can move on to the NFC Championship game.  Will it be the Viking Song or Tony Romo?  Amazingly there are other players in this game and they also will have some bearing on the outcome.  The teams matchup well, both have good quarterbacks, a good running game, the ability to pressure the quarterback, a good run defense, and a somewhat suspect pass defense.

It’s hard to discount the roll that the Cowboys have been on so I won’t try too hard.  Yes, the Eagles aren’t as good as they appeared to be, but the Cowboys made extremely short work of them and looked great on the road in New Orleans who just dismantled the Cardinals.  That’s my round-a-bout way of saying the Cowboys are for real, but are the Vikings?  They slumped hard toward the end of the season and righted the ship against the towel throwing in Giants.  So both teams have a winning taste in their mouth and should come into the game with confidence.  But which team will end the game with confidence? I don’t know! Answer your damn question already!

Ok, ok, I’m taking the Cowboys.  Favre has avoided making poor decisions this season, but DeMarcus Ware and Anthony Spencer are good and should force him to make throws he doesn’t want to.  And I no longer doubt Tony Romo.  I probably should, but the guy has made good decisions this year, and even in the games that count.  Yes, Jared Allen was supermulletman early in the season, but with help he can be stopped, run at him and double him, and don’t let him play the Packers in which he tallied 7.5 of his 14.5 sacks. Adrian Peterson has had trouble breaking 100 yards rushing this year and can’t seem to take over games and I believe that is more the o-line’s fault than his.  The same o-line that will need to protect Favre.  The Boys have the offense to beat any team, but I believe it’s their defense that wins this one for them.

NY Jets @ San Diego 4:40 ET

CBS Announcers: Jim Nantz and Phil Simms

I’d like to have some crazy shamanistic insight into how and why Vincent Jackson will be able to escape from Revis Island, but I don’t.  It probably won’t happen, and if it does there will be plenty of casualties.  The good thing for the Chargers is that VJax isn’t their only offensive weapon.  Gates, Floyd, Sproles, LT, and Naanee can all catch the ball.  Does this mean the Jets will get blown out by the Chargers unstoppable offense? No. The Jets pass defense is good, but just as you saw a good Ravens defense get picked apart by Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers can do the same to the Jets.

The Chargers averaged 26 points a game whereas the Jets gave up a measly 12.  Something has to give and I think it will be the Jets D.  Why are you so confident? Good question, but stop bothering me! I believe the Chargers will force Mark Sanchez to throw the ball, and not those out routes and little roll out misdirection high school routes, some real honest to Betsy passes that he has to decide, ok, who do I throw this thing to? And if what we’re hearing about Shawne Merriman and his health is true, then we could see Sanchez scrambling for a hot dog.

As I’ve said over and over again, I believe the run and D way of winning championships is over.  Yes, you need some semblance of a defense to win a game, but the Colts’ defense isn’t why they won yesterday.  Yes, it was good, but it went against a team where the engine (as Ray Lewis likes to call the QB) wasn’t up to code.  Is this game The Jets’ defense vs. Philip Rivers? No, it’s Rivers vs. Sanchez. That’s the way the NFL wants it. They want their marquee names to have the most impact on the game so they’ve made it nearly impossible to beat their heads in.  The Chargers should win at home.

The majority of the playoff teams got here by throwing the ball, but we see two teams in the divisional round that arrived via the ground.  The Jets and Ravens are living by the old adage that a great defense and a good running game win championships.  This weekend we get to test that theory.  I believe we are in the death throes of that idea and the Chargers and Colts win two tough games.  I love watching a team impose their will on another team.  The Jets and Ravens do that, but the Colts beat the Ravens earlier in the year because even in a tough defensive battle, Peyton Manning could get his team into the endzone while Joe Flacco couldn’t.

I’ve taken the rushing yards given up since week 10 to each defense and found the corresponding ranking and taken that number and put it in between those little curvy lines. Got it?

Saturday 4:30 EST

Arizona (22nd) @ New Orleans (24th)

In the last half of the season the Saints have given up 120 yards and 1 touchdown per game.  Of course the Cardinals are still splitting the running backs up enough to make it tough for them to put up big numbers, but Beanie has been getting the majority of the carries since week 10.  For some reason Tim Hightower continues to get goal line looks, but thankfully not all of them.  Yes, Kurt Warner is a machine, and will probably complete 103.4% of his passes, but the matchup is too good for Whisenhunt not to run and after his defense was torched he’ll probably want to keep them off the field for as long as he’s able.

ARI: Wells +1, Hightower 0

If Arizona hadn’t gotten out to such a big lead we could have seen a lot more of Ryan Grant who was having plenty of success, so a lot of the Saints’ rushing numbers will depend on the score.  The Saint’s aren’t afraid to rush the ball. They are 8th in rushing attempts, 3rd in rushing TD’s, and 8th in total rushing yards.  They won’t just throw to throw.  The fantasy problem is deciphering who will get the ball and where.  Even though Mike Bell has hardly done anything, Sean Payton still uses him as their short yardage back.  As long as Pierre Thomas is healthy enough he will continue to get the most overall work, and Reggie Bush will either have 10 touches an 3 touchdowns or 5 touches and a big fat Kardashian butt zero.

NO: Thomas +1, Bell 0, Bush 0

Saturday 8:15 EST

Baltimore (4th) @ Indianapolis (28th)

Baltimore’s bread and butter is the ground game (see NYJ) and Indianapolis has had some trouble against the rush as of late and I love bread and butter and Rice. I know, it’s boring, but so are running games, boring and filling.  The Colts beat the Ravens last time by keeping them out of the endzone while Billy Cundiff kicked 5 field goals.  Ray Rice totaled 135 yards even with his worst average per carry for the year with 3.5 yards.  His ability to gain yards through the air always makes him dangerous.  Willis McGahee will see work around the endzone, but Rice still gets more work in the redzone and in the last 8 weeks has touched the ball 6 times to McGahee’s 11 inside the 5 yard line. Even if the Colts get up big, Ray Rice will continue to see work.

BAL: Rice +1, McGahee 0

In the last nine games Baltimore’s run defense has given up 2 touchdowns to running backs and that includes rushing and receiving.  Joseph Addai’s forte is scoring touchdowns, unlike Matt Forte’s forte this year.  In the last half of the season the Ravens have been the best fantasy defense against the run.  Addai is good at bucking the trend, but I sure wouldn’t bet on it. Donald Brown just hasn’t looked good since coming back from his injury and the Ravens aren’t the team to help him turn things around.

IND: Addai -1, Brown -2

Sunday 1:00 EST

Dallas (1st) @ Minnesota (3rd)

Marion Barber has a swollen bursa sac.  Which is either a pool toy or a fish organ.  It looks like he’ll be able to go, but even if he were 100% I wouldn’t feel good about his interior style of running against the Williams Wall.  I would feel much more comfortable with the versatility of Felix Jones. Ray Rice and Justin Forsett had good luck catching passes out of the backfield against the Vikings and I think Jones would be the best back to do that for the Boys.  The Vikings have given up the least number of touchdowns to running backs in the league and you can’t expect a huge game from any Cowboy, but Jones is your best bet.  Tashard Choice could get a lot of work if Barber is still hurting, but I wouldn’t count on him.

DAL: Jones +1, Barber -1, Choice -1

Dallas’ rushing defense ranks 4th in the second half of the season, but those numbers are a bit skewed by the great backs Quinton Ganther, concussed Brian Westbrook, Quinton Ganther, Huggy Bear offspring Justin Fargas and Quinton Ganther.  The Cowboys do have a stout run defense, don’t get me wrong, but going against Adrian Peterson is a different animal or Purple Deity.

MIN: Peterson +2, Taylor -1

Sunday 4:40 EST

New York Jets (9th) @ San Diego (8th)

San Diego lost 350 pounds of defensive lineman in the form of Jamal Williams, but somehow have kept their run defense intact.  They were gashed by the amazingly awesome trio of Jamaal Charles, Jerome Harrison, and Chris Johnson, but otherwise they held strong. The Chargers can be run on with a concerted effort and if the Jets do anything at all, it’s run the ball concertedly.  Thomas Jones and Shonn Greene make a great one two punch, but who will be the most productive?  Last week was the first time Greene saw more touches than Jones and much will depend on who is running well.  I believe that will be Greene once again.

NYJ: Greene +1, Jones 0

The Jets rush defense also lost a big chunk of man gut from their middle, 360 pounds of Kris Jenkins, and they have also patched together a decent run defense.  Like the Chargers, the Jets aren’t infallible, just look at the beating Cedric Benson put on them last week.  But the Chargers don’t have a Cedric Benson, they have a scat back and an old goal line back.  The Jets matchup pretty well against the Chargers strength, the passing game, and they should be able to contain their running game.  If I didn’t have faith in Rivers and Gates and Floyd I would be picking the Jets, but I do.  LT can get into the endzone no matter who they are playing and Sproles is a wildcard play with his explosiveness and lack of touches.

SD: Tomlinson 0, Sproles -1

There may be a few of you doing a playoff draft or a salary cap league so I decided to put together a rankings/draft sheet.  It’s a tricky thing, playoff leagues.  You have to account for the chance that the team your player is on could lose quickly, no matter how good you think the team is.  I am ranking them with some thought to who might win, but more toward how I think they’ll play.

Don’t forget to join us in our two playoff leagues: you can join our Sporting News playoff league and/or our playoff challenge at NFL.com.

Here we have QB’s and RB’s.  Look for the WR’s, TE’s, K’s and D’s soon.

Quarterbacks:

There are a ton of good QB’s in the playoffs this year.  I wonder what you need more to be a successful NFL team, a good QB or good RB?  Rhetorical question.  With all the talent here much depends on how many games you will get out of them.  For my money Aaron Rodgers has the best shot of playing the most games, but that is a guess.  If you get him and he loses in the wildcard round you better have a backup! It might be best to wait on a QB since they are so deep and grab a starting RB you think will contribute the longest?

1. Peyton Manning: Whatever the Colts’ “psyche” is, I could care less. Peyton is a machine and he runs a machine and unless the other team disrupts that machine’s mechanics they won’t lose.  Their state of mind when playing won’t change.  Of course you won’t be able to use him in the first round!

2. Philip Rivers: Is Rivers better than Drew Brees? Can’t say for sure, but I like Rivers’ team more and the Saints will have tough competition to get to the championship game.

3. Aaron Rodgers: ARodg ended up the #1 fantasy QB for 2009 and his team has been playing lights out. Rodgers looks like he has at least a slim chance of playing in every playoff game.  If you have faith in the Packers you can’t do much better.

4. Drew Brees: The Saints have lost three in a row and don’t play in the first round.  He has a ton of upside, but if he doesn’t get into the championship game he was a wasted pick.  Like every player you have to do a little Carnac work, if you like the Saints chance of going to Miami.  Grab him.

5. Brett Favre: If the Vikings hadn’t gotten home field I would have him lower, but I think they righted the ship enough and The Favres like the domes.

6. Tony Romo: He has a ton of risk attached to him.  The Cowboys haven’t won a playoff game since 1896.  But they have been looking too good to blindly say they will choke.  Romo would be the steal of the playoffs if he could lead his team to Miami.

7. Donovan McNabb: Not too long ago I had the Eagles going to the bowl, but oh how fickle fate can be according to Beth Orton and any team that doesn’t win the Super Bowl.  They could be sitting at how eating bean dip and Fritos, but they got spanked in Dallas and now have to go back there.  I think they have a good chance to win this game, but not if they play anywhere close to last weekends performance.

8. Tom Brady: He dropped pretty far in my rankings based solely on Wes Welker’s injury.  That could be a bit reactionary of me, but Welker leaves a pretty big hole in the offense.  If Edelman can come up big they could do something, but that is a lot to ask.

9. Kurt Warner: Could be the absolute steal of the playoffs (I know I said that about Romo already, sue me!), but I think his first game is too risky to put all my eggs in Warner’s Power Chair basket.

10. Joe Flacco: Flacco is a great backup choice if you are going with a QB with a first round bye.  He gets a poor Patriots secondary in the wildcard round and you could get lucky and the Ravens could go deep in the playoffs.

11. Mark Sanchez: I think the Jets will beat the Bengals so that is the only reason Sanchez is ahead of Palmer, that, and the Jets pass defense.

12. Carson Palmer: He’s starting.  That’s his biggest upside.

13. Matt Leinart: Warner is old.

14. Kevin Kolb: If you have a big roster he has a lot of upside if McNabb goes down.

15. Billy Volek: Same as above.

Running Backs:

There are very few stud running backs in the playoffs.  Would you rather have Joseph Addai or Ray Rice?  Well, next year’s draft will probably be a different answer than what you’ll get here.  The Ravens could beat the Pats, but it will be tough and then they’d get a very good team on the road.  The playoffs bring out strange game plans and sometimes backup RB’s get stats you wouldn’t expect.  It’s a very good idea to horde as many backup/RBBC type backs as you can.

1. Adrian Peterson: Elite back on a good team.  Bit of a no brainer.  Will they go all the way? I have no idea, but they have a decent chance.

2. Joseph Addai: Donald Brown doesn’t look like he’s going to take too much away from Addai and the guy knows how to get into the endzone. Not a sexy pick, but a reliable, William H. Macy kinda pick.

3. L.T.: Another TD machine on a good to great team. He’ll be rested for his goal line vulturing.

4. Ryan Grant: Again, the Packers are my, cross my fingers and give them a shot team.  I am not good at calling games.  If I was I’d bet on them and be able to keep Sallie Mae from stalking me, bitch, but I’m putting my fantasy bucks on them, with a lot of hedging.

5. Ray Rice: He’s unbelievable and if I thought the Ravens had a shot to go all the way he’d be in the top 2.  Yes, McGahee exploded on the Raiders, but Rice is still the guy in Baltimore.

6. Thomas Jones: His chances of playing more than 2 games are very slim, but I do think he’ll get those 2 games and will get his carries. And now that I don’t overlook him he’ll go for 10 yards and a loss.

7. Marion Barber: This is how shallow the running backs are this year.  I don’t love Marion Barber, well, he does have a nice smile, but the Cowboys have about as good a chance as most of the NFC teams and Barber is the goal line back.

8. Beanie Wells: I wish they didn’t start with the Packers, but like I said, anything can happen. If they move on they know what they need to do and Beanie will be a big part of that.

9. Cedric Benson: I don’t have much faith in the Bengals winning, and the Jets defense has been stout, so he has a shot at a razztastic game and also being done.

10. Pierre Thomas: This is a risky pick with his rib injury, but he will have time to rest it and like I said, there aren’t many starting RB’s worth their salt.  Not that PT is worth his salt, and it’s not like I have any idea what that means, but he’s on a good team and he should be the starter.

11. Brian Westbrook: He’s the starter again.  Not sure if that was the best idea, but it’s what is happening.

12. Felix Jones: He’s a home run kind of back and you have to get fairly lucky to win in playoff leagues.  A couple long runs from him can win a league for you.

13. Tim Hightower: He still sometimes vultures touchdowns from Beanie and even though his touches have gone down he is still getting work.

14. Darren Sproles: L.T. has kept Sproles from getting much work this season, but he is still a threat to go all the way at anytime and if you are in a league like Sporting News where return yardage counts he will give you some automatic points.

15. Sammy Morris: Who is the starter for New England? I’m giving Morris the nod, but my opinion, sadly, is irrelevant.

16. Donald Brown 17. Reggie Bush 18.Willis McGahee 19. Kevin Faulk 20. Shonn Greene 21. Chester Taylor 22. LeSean McCoy 23. Laurence Maroney 24. Mike Bell 25. Brandon Jackson 26. Leonard Weaver 27. Fred Taylor 28. Tashard Choice

Good morning Razzballers (or good whatever time of day you are reading this).  The fantasy season is winding down, but the NFL never sleeps!  Aren’t you looking forward to the Pro Bowl?!! Yeah, me neither.  They did change up things to possibly make it more interesting, but still, they don’t really play football.  It’s like having an All-Star Pro Boxing match.  I’m watching the NFL Combine this offseason and I think it will be more entertaining.

There is still some fantasy out there to be played. You can join the Razzball writers in our Sporting News Playoff league, password Schmohawk, and beat us down with your football smarts and what not.

Congratulations to Asdrubal Bastardo for winning our first annual guess Chris Johnson’s weight contest.  Wait, not weight, something else. Well, whatever it was he won an awe-inspiring Sonavabench! coffee mug from our Zazzle store.

In today’s chapter of Razzball we are looking at what teams have something to play for and what teams don’t.  You still may have a championship game or be playing in a salary cap league or are just interested in how hopeless your team’s chance of getting into the playoffs really is. So lets take a look, shall we?

New Orleans: With Minnesota losing Monday night the Saints’ wrapped up the #1 seed in the NFC, but Sean Payton says they will go “all out” because they just lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and they suck donkey testicles (his words, not mine!) How much do I trust him? I’m just not sure. I am sure they will evaluate injuries and err on the side of caution with players like Pierre Thomas.  We could see a lot of Lynell Hamilton. It is still early in the week and we may know more soon, but unless you have poor backups, I would be worried about playing time.

Indianapolis: Peyton will play long enough to get a new shot on Manning Face.com and continue his start streak, but not enough to help your team at all. But they do actually have to play, and you know the Bisons are run D deficient.  Donald Brown got a lot of work last week and could see enough this week to be a good start, but he could also be taken out at some point for the law offices of Simpson and Hart.  With Painter in, you should just give up on anybody in the passing game.

San Diego: They have nothing to play for except, well, nothing really.  Maybe some incentive laced contracts, so you know those players will be on the sidelines.  Thankfully Washington will be playing their B team as well.  Look for Darren Sproles to get a decent amount of work, but even he might get pulled at some point.  Billy Volek won some fantasy players their leagues a few years back, but I wouldn’t put much faith in him.  Sit your Charger starters.

Philadelphia: Thanks to Minnesota floundering, the Eagles only need to win to get the #2 seed and a bye.  This is good news for all Eagles owners, except owners of any Eagles’ running backs, because they are just too spread out right now to be of much service.

Minnesota: Thankfully the Eagles play a 4 pm game so the Vikings will have a #2 seed and bye to play for when they face the Giants at home.  If you saw the Giants get demolished by the Panthers you have to be licking your chops (not Jared Allen’s chops! You, sir, are disgusting) for this matchup. Start your Vikings with wild abandon!!

Green Bay: If Minnesota wins at 1pm the Packers will rest their starters no doubt.  If they don’t, there is a slim chance they won’t.  Hmm, sounds iffy to me and I wrote it.  The chances are Minnesota will win, but as you can see, they haven’t done that recently.  But I would still prepare for the Pack to pack it in.

Arizona: They play the Packers, but could have more riding on the game than them, but only if the Vikings lose.  If they lose then the Cardinals have a shot at getting the #2 seed and a bye.  They will almost certainly play all out for that chance, so if you have options that also go in the late games, then I think it is worth waiting.

New England: We’re getting some coachspeak from Belichick, weird, huh? On Tuesday he says, “Whoever plays, plays. Whoever doesn’t play, doesn’t play. It’s like that every week. We could go out there the first play of the game, something could happen. Someone else could be in there. Everybody needs to be ready to go all the time.” But when asked about resting starters he says, “That’s not really something we’ve done, and in all honesty I wouldn’t even anticipate doing it.” Wha? Huh? If they win they get the #3 seed.  If they lose and Cincy wins, they get the #4 seed, but the difference isn’t much. I want to say they’ll play most of the game, but I can’t tell you that for sure and I would be cautious.

Dallas: Dallas can be seeded as high as 2nd or as low as 6th depending on the outcome of all types of football games.  They need the Vikings to lose the early game to the Giants, then the Packers need to beat the Cardinals and of course the Cowboys need to beat the Eagles.  This would leave a lot up to the Vikings game, but even if the Vikings win the Cowboys could have a home game at stake depending on the Cardinals/Packers game which is going on at the same time.  So, with all that said, Dallas will play their starters. Feel all warm and fuzzy about starting them.

New York Jets: Rex Ryan was a little slim on knowledge a couple weeks ago when asked about the playoffs, but yes, they can get in with a win over Cincinnati. If they do get in, it could be the slipperiest, back door way, I’ve ever seen a team get into the playoffs.  First they get in on the back of Curtis Painter and then there is a chance the Bengals will also be resting players. The fantasy implications are mostly on the ground with Thomas Jones continuing to be startable in a must win game and possibly even Shonn Greene.  The Jets don’t trust Mark Sanchez with much right now, and I wouldn’t either.

Miami: Well, they need a whole lot of help and they are playing a Steelers team that also has an outside shot at the playoffs. For kicks lets look at who needs to lose for them to get in: Baltimore, Jacksonville, NY Jets, Houston, oh and Pittsburgh.  The chances are as slim as someone starting a sentence, “Rex Ryan was a little slim.” Well, the fantasy implications are tough against the Steelers, but if Ricky Williams is healthy he is worth a flex option and if he doesn’t go Lex Hilliard would be flexing as well.

Baltimore: All Baltimore needs to do is win in Oakland to clinch a spot. You wouldn’t think that would be too hard, but Cincinnati and Philadelphia had problems traveling west and Pittsburgh couldn’t even beat them in Catsup Stadium.  But Ray Rice owners still playing are happy that Ray Rice from Rutgers is still playing with motivation.  The Ravens have a ton of incentive against a Raiders team that doesn’t.  Start your Ravens!

Pittsburgh: They need to win and have Houston and the NY Jets lose or Houston and Baltimore lose, or the NY Jets, Baltimore, and Denver lose, for them to make the playoffs. We can’t be sure that New England and Cincinnati will play all their starters so that could be detrimental.  Either way, the Steelers players are all good starts against Miami.  The Dolphins looked bad against the Texans last week and Big Ben and company have been putting up good numbers.

Houston: The Texans need to win and have two of Baltimore, Denver and NY Jets lose. One of the many AFC teams that needs the Bengals to not rest their starters and beat the Jets, but at least if they beat the Patriots there is a slim chance the Bengals could play hard to get the third seed. Yes, my brain hurts as well. Houston will be at home instead of Foxboro so that makes a big difference. The Patriots don’t have as much to play for, but still enough to make the game competitive for a while, so get your Texans in there!

Jacksonville: Like Miami, they need the earth to fall out of orbit to get into the playoffs.  They need to win and have four out of these five teams to lose: Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Houston, Denver and the NY Jets. But they do get Cleveland and a glimmer of playoff hope.  MJD should turn things around this week.

Denver: They have 10 non-tie scenarios that I don’t really want to go into because there are better things to do in life.  They can actually lose, as long as “The Road” becomes ripped from the headlines, and still make the playoffs.  But the easiest way they can get in is to win and then have either the Jets or Ravens lose, plus one of the Jets, the Ravens, the Steelers, and Texans lose.  They, like many other teams, will be calling Marvin Lewis up and bribing him with leftover Christmas candy.  But no matter what, they will be playing to win.  Denver should have a goodly amount of startable players against the Chiefs.

If you see any factual errors be sure to point them out in the comments.  I am usually infallible, but you never know.