I’m nothing if not culturally irrelevant. Leave it to me to bring up a white Canadian Reggae rapper from the early 90′s that was known best for a song that no one can sing along to because we have zero clue what the crazy Canuck was saying. Lickeeboomboomdan? Ickyvroomvroomman? I have zero clue. I’ve looked up the lyrics now that I live in the age of the intarwebs. Still don’t care. Dude was spitting fierce tourette’s jibberish if you ask me. We get made fun of for Vanilla Ice, what about some accountability for this, Canada? You’ve never bombed my great nation but you’ve still found ways to destroy my culture. Bryan Adams, Alanis Morissette, Nickelback…you guys have zero shame. But of course I’m not here to add fuel to the inevitable Canada vs ‘Merica war, I’m here to talk fantasy football and so I’m picking probably the worst game on the day to pick my stud from. Naturally. In what can only be described as a snow bowl, the Eagles won 34-20 in a game that featured no FGs or XP attempts, 8 total fumbles, and Foles’ first INT of the year, it only makes sense that LeSean McCoy would go off against one of the best rushing defenses in the league. Can’t throw the ball in the snow, eh? Well, might as well run Shady 29 times for 217 yards and 2 TDs then. Problem solved. Though the weather let up a bit in the second half, it was still a fantasy $h!tshow for most of us who owned parts of these two teams. Megatron? Bupkis. Stafford? Lamesauce. Riley Cooper? Oh fudge (only I didn’t say fudge). It was a game that ‘real football fans’ adore and we fake football fans loathe, especially on the first week of the playoffs. This game could’ve sealed the fate for quite a few teams. It’s a bitter pill to swallow because either way you’re gonna be mad. What if Stafford, Megatron, et al went off on your bench? Roshambo yourself. But they stayed in your lineup and didn’t go off. Another roshambo to oneself. It was a can’t win scenario and unfortunately – unless you owned McCoy – probably won’t win because of it. Well look at that, I’ve already depressed 75% of my readers in the first paragraph. New record! Well let’s get to some better news then shall we? Here’s the rest of the fantasy goods from week 14 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For many fantasy football leagues, this is the week that decides whether or not you’re in the playoffs. The good news is that a lot of the top tier talent has fantastic matchups. Adrian Peterson, Jamaal Charles, Matt Forte, and Frank Gore were likely all taken in the first or early second round at the beginning of the season and if you were smart/lucky enough to draft them then, they are sure to guide you to victory this week. There are exceptions to that, of course, but you didn’t draft them quite as early.
Knowshon Moreno only gained 79 yards against Kansas City two weeks ago and this week he faces them again, this time nursing a bone bruise somewhere around his ankle. The injury doesn’t sound serious, but the matchup is. If you’re comfortable with 8 points from your RB2/3 then go ahead and start him, but don’t count on a huge week from the Denver feature back.
Le’Veon Bell is in a very similar position to Moreno. In week 7, he had less than 10 fantasy points against Baltimore’s tough run defense. This week he travels to Baltimore to face them again. He’s clearly the workhorse for the Steelers so he’s difficult to sit, but he’s unlikely for a score in a crucial week for fantasy teams.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:
- You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
- You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
- Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
- You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
- Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
- New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
- New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.
Standings After Week 7:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When the off-season began for the Eagles, it was clear that times would be changing. How much things would change was merely the question. Would they overhaul the roster? Would they resign Vick? Would their defensive ineptitude come close to improving? Well, to answer those questions, no, yes, and no. When I originally saw the signing of Chip Kelly, I was surprised by how many people assumed that Vick would be the starter in Philly. Too many people assume that Chip’s offense is solely built for a running quarterback when the truth was nowhere near that. Chip’s offense relies on his QB to be quick. Quick on his reads, that is. So when people heard that there was actually a camp battle for starting QB, many assumed it was just the media hyping things to make drama. Normally, I’d side with the hype-train side of the argument but there was definitely a case for Nick Foles to become the starter in Philly. For all intents and purposes, I saw Foles as the future for the Eagles barring any major trades or draft picks heading into 2014 so to see him step up against a strong defense in the Bucs and dismantle them – going 22/31 for 296 and 3 passing touchdowns to go with one on the ground – you could say I wasn’t overly surprised. Ok, I was surprised he scored THAT much but still the fact remains that Foles is quality QB and Chip knows how to handle one of those. It’s gonna be hard to tell how this whole scenario plays out given that Vick was named the starter heading into the year but has been very erratic in terms of how he’s run the offense so far. Don’t be surprised if Vick’s hamstring ‘isn’t quite ready’ next week so the Eagles can see what they have in this young Philly. In other news from week 6 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, we knew there’d be plenty of fantasy points scored in this Broncos vs Cowboys game. We had all those superstars. You know, Manning, Orange Julius, Welker, DT, Decker, Dez…hrm, it feels like I’m missing someone. Who could possibly still be left to talk about that’s fantasy relevant in a game like this? Answer: well, quite a few guys really but in reality very few people have talked about the under the radar performance of Tony Romo so far this year. It’s understandable. He’s not wowing anyone with his stats. In fact, he was being outscored by Alex Smith in QB scoring rankings for fantasy heading into Sunday. But then Romo done lost his mind. Tony threw for 506 total yards on the day, going 25/35 for 5 touchdowns and a 2 point conversion. Yes, yes, he threw a soul-crushing INT late in the game but you don’t lose more or less points based on how frustrating an INT is. Looking back where certain QBs went in your draft vs Romo, you have to ask yourself, ‘why did I spend all that on a QB when this was still out there?’. In reality, QB is a deep position so it’s hard to get too mad when days like this happen but the reality is Romo has been a consistent scorer for his owners most of this year and there’s no reason to think it can’t keep up. Ok, not 500 yards keep up but being startable most weeks keep up is still valid. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…Please, blog, may I have some more?
You start the year trying to predict what a team will look like not just to start the year but over the course of it. You go off of hunches, intuition, previous year’s stats…you comb through a lot of data to try and assess just what a particular team will be able to do heading into the year. It’s never an exact science, of course, and so many factors can shape or hide a poor player or offense into something palatable. Entering into 2013, a major source of concern for the Chargers was an offensive line that was deemed one of – if not the – worst line for pass blocking and heading into 2013, there wasn’t much optimism surrounding it getting any better. Enter, stage left, Philip Rivers. A slow, pure pocket passer who had a hard time throwing the ball last year in no small part because he had a hard time staying on his feet long enough to do so. But the Chargers have made some adjustments to Rivers and his game this year and it’s allowing for some success. After his second 400 yard passing game of the year – he finished 35/42 for 402, 3 touchdowns and 1 interception – it’s clear that some of the passing game has changed for the better in San Diego. They’re using quick routes a lot more as well as dumping off to their backs in space more as well. He’s allowing his skill players to be the play makers and not relying on the deep outs as much. The VJax and DX deep route is nice but it’s not sustainable if you don’t have time to throw. After today’s game, Rivers is on pace for 4,796 passing yards and a 44:8 touchdown to interception ratio and the second most passing attempts (568) of his career. Given how erratic Mathews has played to date, I don’t see this passing trend going away. You always wonder ‘who’s going to be that near QB1 that goes undrafted or goes late a la Josh Freeman or Andy Dalton from 2012′ and you just might be seeing it. Given the schedule through week 9 (@Oak, Indy, @Jax, Bye, @Was), there’s no reason to think these Rivers can keep rolling. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…Please, blog, may I have some more?
It was a nice return to Philly for the Walrus, Andy Reid, as his Chiefs took down his former team. The team that has been a talk of the NFL despite starting 1-1 with a defense made of wet paper with holes big enough to make Jenna Jamison blush has overshadowed Reid’s new team. You know, the one that has flown under the radar to a 2-0, now 3-0 start. This isn’t fantasy relevant, says the casual reader. Well, CR, I have news for you. Entering the 4Q, Jamaal Charles had 10 carries for about 26 yards. He ended the night with 20 carries for 92 on the ground and a touchdown. You getting the fantasy relevance yet? With how quickly the Eagles offense could strike, Reid went to the drain the clock well down the stretch, leading to what was a decent but boring fantasy night and turned it into fantasy gold as Charles finished with 27 total touches – 7 for receptions – for a total of 172 yards and a score. He could’ve another one in the 4th but real football got in the way of our fake football dreams and dashed it. Moving forward, Jamaal’s still the man in KC and still looks to be a top 3 back in the making. Given Smith’s game managing ways, Charles should see plenty of check downs and yardage the rest of the way. To put it in Beatles terms, ‘Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come. Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody tuesday’. Hrm, well I give up. There’s zero ways to make a drug-induced song by the Beatles relevant to tonight’s game other then the title. Goo-Goo-G’Joob! In other 2013 Fantasy Football news from week 3…Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s Friday the 13th (of September) and the doctor is in. Good thing I am since there are plenty of patients filling the hallways of the Fantasy Football Clinic. That said, let’s get going on this week’s rounds. Patients will know who I am right away as I’ll be the doctor wearing a Burger King crown on my head. Only because it’s my birthday today.
The Patriots are banged up. Horribly. Tight end Rob Gronkowski (back, arm) might be back next week but it’s not confirmed at this point. Fantasy owners rejoice! So shall Tom Brady! The Patriots looked really pathetic offensively last night against the Jets. Brady threw for 185 yards with one touchdown. Yeah, that’s it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It started off so well. On two straight plays, Stevan Ridley ripped the Bills defense for a couple of nice runs. First one up the middle. Eleven yards. Next one off right tackle. Five yards. This last carry took him to 52 yards on the day on just 8 carries. Things were looking good, the Pats were driving and that sweet end zone love was surely gonna go into Stevan’s hands. Only he came up empty. Wait, let me restate that. He came up BIG empty, fumbling the ball on the very next play for a Bills defensive touchdown. Like what we all hope will happen to Miley Cyrus after the VMAs, Ridley wasn’t to be seen nor heard from again for the rest of the game. That’s how Belichick rolls. Y’all got Hoodie Winked! Ridley had 4 fumbles last year, only losing 2 but the one thing that Bill won’t tolerate is fumbles from his RBs. Now I don’t think Ridley’s lost his starting job. Not by a long shot. But I do think he’s opened that door wider then Miley Cyrus…ok, enough about Hannah Montana analogies. I don’t see Ridley losing his job any time soon. That said, for other reasons, we may see a reduced workload moving forward. Remember when I ranked him 20th among RBs and you were all like ‘nuh-uh’ and I was like ‘uh-huh?’. This would be a good reason why. I don’t trust Bill to trust any player week to week unless he has a beautiful butt-chin. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news from week 1…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard that lead in title before. Whatever, you don’t really come for weekly rankings for the jokes do you? You do? Fine, a guy goes to the doctor and tells him ‘Doc, ya gotta help me. I keep having weird dreams. Last night I dreamt I was a Wigwam and the night prior I dreamt I was a TeePee. What’s wrong?’ and the Doc says, ‘That’s easy. You’re two tents.’ RIMSHOT! Ok, jokes over kids time for the meat and potatoes and the first week of the rest of your 2013 Fantasy Football lives and I only have one question for you that I won’t even type, you’ve just got to click the link. I have put Jamaal Charles as the top RB for week 1 because it’s against the Jaguars. Is that me betting on KC or betting against Jacksonville? I’d say the latter. Though every year is different and we can’t assume Jacksonville will finish in the bottom 5 in yards allowed to opposing running backs again, I think KC does well enough to give JC Superstar his touches and he’s got a good shot to torch JAX for week 1. Outside of that, I wouldn’t say my rankings go too crazy. I have little belief that either Ryan can turn around that Saints defense enough not to rank the two big wideouts from the Falcons in the high at wideout. My surprise pick this week might be Celek in the top 12 TEs for the week. His preseason was fairly under the radar but he was used a lot in the passing game. If that keeps up, he could be your first TE stream for the year and maybe more. But enough of all that, let’s get this party started. Here’s the weekly rankings for week 1 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…Please, blog, may I have some more?