If you are reading this, congratulations. And I don’t say that just because you are fortunate enough to be reading one of my articles. If you are reading a fantasy football article in Week 14, it is likely because you are in the playoffs and still have a reason to care about your team and your lineup. So, congratulations. I mean it. To those of you who didn’t make the playoffs: see you in hell, candy boys! This is, unfortunately, the last Handcuff Report of the year. It has been a great ride, but we are wrapping things up as the fantasy playoffs begin!Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s Week 13, which means we are heading into the fantasy playoffs soon. I know that because my readership has dwindled the last two weeks, as many fantasy owners have been eliminated from the playoffs and are throwing in the towel. But that’s OKAY. That just means we can be more serious and a bit more intimate now. It’s just me and you, playoff hopefuls.
Heading into this week, Tim Hightower was a name to watch because Mark Ingram was still in the concussion protocol and was questionable to play. If Ingram couldn’t go, Hightower was going to be a high-end flex/RB2 to throw into lineups before they locked on Sunday. But word came out on Sunday morning that Ingram was going to play, so many likely left Hightower on the bench or on the waiver wire.
But something funny happened. It didn’t matter that Ingram played. Ingram and Hightower combined for three touchdowns and almost 300 yards, with Hightower accounting for 51 rushing yards, 54 receiving yards, and one of the touchdowns. Although, Hightower’s final stat line would look a bit different if not for the late 50-yard touchdown pass from wide receiver Willie Snead. If Hightower can keep producing even with a healthy Ingram, he can help out some of the needier fantasy owners come playoff time.
To the report…Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you are like me and drafted Thomas Rawls in August but managed to stay patient and hang onto him until now, take a bow. I’ll bow with you. September and October were some dark times, my friends, but here we are. Rawls is the top dog in Seattle, and it looks like it will stay that way for the rest of the season now that Christine Michael got shipped out of town and C.J. Prosise is hurt. We did it, guys.
Prosise ran for a 72-yard touchdown in the first quarter on Sunday, but he left the game in the second quarter. It was pretty much all Rawls for the rest of the game, with a little bit of Troymaine Pope (who also got hurt). The Seahawks getting rid of Christine Michael meant they were ready to roll with Prosise and Rawls as their top guys and that they were confident Rawls would be healthy and effective. Now that Prosise is out of the picture, it’s all Rawls, baby.
Rawls rushed 14 times for 57 yards (4.1 YPC) and added three catches for 31 yards, giving him 88 total yards on the day. Heading into the fantasy playoffs, getting an every down back like Rawls into your lineup could be just what your team needs to get that extra edge (I know my team, where I went zero RB and took Rawls as my RB1 LATE, is sitting pretty now that I have him back). The best part about the Prosise injury* is that it means Rawls will see more action on passing downs. They will find a way to spell him here and there, but Rawls should be an every down back going forward and should catch his fair share of passes.
Things change quickly in the NFL, and it seems like just last week we were excited about the idea of a Prosise-Rawls backfield combination. But this week was about much more than Thomas Rawls and how happy we all are to have him back.
To the report. . .Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello everybody and welcome to this week’s Deep Impact! When I first set out on writing this series at the beginning of the season, I had three nagging fears in the back of my head. One, that I would run out of Deep Impact play on words to begin the article (which happened weeks ago), and the second that as the season progressed, it would be more and more difficult to find playable names under 10% owned. Once the season is more than half over, you would expect that the hidden gems have revealed themselves, and that the underperforming players you drafted would be cast aside to make room for them. I have been pleasantly surprised to find that thanks to injuries and late bloomers, along with the general malaise that seems to impact a good chunk of leagues (looking at you, leagues responsible for Jamaal Charles being 27% owned). We don’t always stick to the threshold, but I think we’ve been able to keep the spirit of it alive. What was my third fear? Bees. I guess that doesn’t have anything to do with writing the article but I hate bees. Anyways, check out the rest of the article for some names below (or close to) the 10% owned mark for some Week 11 options…Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you played your cards right, 2016 may have been one of the best seasons ever to roll with a zero RB strategy in your draft. Not only have there been a litany of running back committees utilized across the league, but legitimate RB1s and RB2s have been emerging all year. Take a look at this list: Jordan Howard, Devontae Booker, Spencer Ware, C.J. Prosise, Robert Kelley. Those guys were all either not drafted at all or were taken later in drafts as a handcuff or dice roll option (I actually drafted Booker in one league but dropped him after a few weeks because I need the roster spot. D’oh!).Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome back, everyone. I apologize for missing last week, but I had a bunch of running around to do and was never able to settle down and hammer out the Week 9 Handcuff Report. Let’s just assume that I gave you great advice last week and that you’re back this week for more. Ok? Ok. Good. Great. Now, about those running backs.
The Oakland Raiders have been really fun to watch this year unless you have been trying to predict running back touches all year. While Latavius Murray was frustrating earlier in the year and then got hurt, but one thing he has done all year is find his way into the end zone. And in a week when a ton of people probably benched him because he was going up against the defense of the Denver Broncos, he decided to get into the end zone three times. Hopefully, you rolled the dice or were forced to start him because of bye weeks and injuries, but I know that many of you didn’t start him. I probably wouldn’t have.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings! Over these past few weeks I’ve often wondered: “Have they missed me since I’ve been gone?” Will my strongest supporters simply move on and attach themselves to any of the other talented Razzball writers, or will they mourn me by drinking and drugging themselves for the remainder of their miserable lives, slowly killing themselves in the memory of the Lord? What I can tell you is that I’ve spent the past couple weeks in the crater of Mt. Vesuvius, smoking mass quantities of peyote and drinking absinthe by the boatload, conversing with the Elder Gods about my future and what has been foreseen. The good news, you ask? My dream of my writing career surpassing my great many thong modeling accomplishments looks like a given, but the bad news, my goodmen, oh hohoho, you mustn’t never find out for only the scurviest of bottom feeders could possibly have the wherewithal to comprehend what I must do. They’ve rarely been wrong in their predictions for my life in the past. I mean, they did predict I would finish second overall in the FantasyPros rankings a few weeks back AND they informed me that some crazy hood rat would come out the woodwork, saying I owe her 500 dollars for blowing out the back of the gal watching her home while she was out of town. This gutter ferret had the gaul to threaten me on Facebook. ME! The Lord! My judgement shall be swift and merciless, and her destiny of bobbing for worm-infested apples, surrounded by diseased swine in the dank dungeon of House Beddict. Just because I put a dime piece in the perfect flex on her cheap ass bed certainly doesn’t mean that I broke and it certainly does not mean the Lord will throw some gold coins at her to shut her hole. Peasantry.
I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings, fantasy friends… It’s your reliable internet buddy Mike Honcho and I’m here to hook you up with the best passing and rushing match ups for Week 8. I’m typing this as I listen to the new Bon Iver album 22, A Million. Hopefully some of you are familiar with the Indie Folk band from Fall Creek, Wisconsin. If not, definitely check them out. Front man Justin Vernon is a musical genius, he crosses over into many different genres of music and rarely disappoints. But let me be perfectly clear here: I might be getting too old to enjoy hat others label as “Hip.” I mean, I really like that they’re branching out again on the new release, but it contains way too much “folktronica” for my liking. Unfortunately, that’s what the young kids like so it looks like it’s here to stay for a while. Give me “For Emma, Forever Ago” or the self titled “Bon Iver” any day of the week over their current release. Just my opinion. Sue me! So while we’re talking about things that are old, let’s discuss Jamaal Charles. It seems Father Time has paid the former workhorse an untimely visit for 2016 and his fantasy owners are none too pleased about it. You know how Jamaal feels, right guys? Any given Saturday you and your “bros” head to the mall with your Affliction shirts and you try to “mack on babes” outside of the Fashion Bug. Only to remember you’re 34 years-old and the Assistant Manager of a GNC. Life is brutal at times. Anyway, A new, young feature back has emerged. Spencer Ware has absolutely beasted in his opportunity as the lead back and he’s poised for another huge week. Kansas City will travel to Indianapolis Sunday in what should be a run heavy game script. The Colts are 25th in the league in rushing defense – allowing 118.6 yards per game on the ground. They allowed 28/124/1 and 28/158/1 the last two games to Tennessee and Houston respectively. To make matters worse, Indy has allowed 24.8 fantasy points per game to opposing RBs this year, which ranks 26th overall. That’s a lot of “suck” to process in terms of the Colts’ defense, so let’s take a break and look at my favorite plays this week:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you were to define the 2016 fantasy football season in one sentence, I challenge you to do better than this: Jay Ajayi has more rushing yards in the last two weeks than Todd Gurley has all season. It has been that bad, and that sentence describes both how surprisingly good Ajayi has been the last two weeks and how disappointing Todd Gurley has been all year. It’s tough to say if those two backs will continue going in different directions, but they are currently following the same paths as their respective offenses. The Rams aren’t giving Gurley any space, while the Dolphins, with their front five finally healthy and playing together, are dropping bodies for Ajayi. Ajayi’s stock has never been higher, now that he is officially the top man in Miami. Which brings us to…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to the Week 7 edition of Start Em’ and Sit ‘Em. I’m filling in for Zach this week, but he will be back next week, so don’t worry. If you are interested in reading my weekly article, I produce the streamer article which comes out on Thursdays. I picked two players per position to start, and two to sit. I know Zach usually does three, but I’m not as smart, talented, or energetic. I’m just better looking. Whether any of that is true or not… well, let’s get right to it with some quarterbacks.Please, blog, may I have some more?