What’s going on everybody, and welcome to another edition of my weekly rankings! Well we have another full slate on our hands, now with the 9:30 am EST start time in London between the Jaguars and Ravens, so make sure you wake up a little earlier than usual to tinker with those lineups.

Week 2 was definitely head and shoulders above the first week of the season, so let’s take a look at what Week 3 has to offer, but before we do, let’s recap the week that was!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

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Last week my six start selections scored 99 fantasy points. That includes one of whom scored 0 points. Don’t look at me — look at Hunter Henry. That’s on him. How did my ‘sit’ selections do? 51 total points. That included a bold pick of Ezekiel Elliott who the Giants held to an average of 11 fantasy points in 2016. Elliott netted 18 fantasy points. What does it all mean? I’m a great lucky guesser.

If making week 1 picks is difficult because you don’t have any real in-season data from which to make your predictions, week 2 is nigh impossible because you have some fluke games like the Bengals being shutout in week 1 only to lay another turd on Thursday night against the Texans. The same Texans who in week 1 only scored 7 points against the first place Jaguars! What’s a fantasy football prognosticator to do?!

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Hello everyone, and welcome to another post in our Razzball Divison Preview series. Today I’m taking a look at the NFC North, which, in my opinion, is one of the most interesting divisions in fantasy this year. There are so many storylines and moves that occurred over the offseason that have made this division incredibly relevant fantasy-wise (not that it hasn’t been in the past though). This could either be a great division, or a frustrating one, but we’ll have to see how it shakes out during the regular season itself. But we can’t wait forever, right? So let’s get started now and talk about these four interesting teams.

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Our word of the day is gambling.  I love gambling, most of the time in small amounts unless I’m at the black jack table at 3 A.M. after my second trip to the ATM, but that’s a story for another time.  Plus, I was much younger then (if you consider two years ago a long increment of time).  When not gambling after consuming a bunch of whiskey, it’s usually a few bucks here and there on March Madness, NBA playoffs, or the reason why you’re reading this, the NFL.  When I’m making money gambling on sports, 75 percent of the time it’s because I’m betting against the public.  Fantasy football isn’t much different…

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After an extended hiatus, due to soul searching summer travels, me and Zach return for a podcast that was recorded on two separate nights over the past couple of weeks so beware of #productionvalue.

I rambled a lot about missing out on Ezekiel Elliot last season while gushing over Joe Mixon’s fantasy potential. We don’t condone domestic disputes, but we condone fantasy production. We try to decide what a healthy Sammy Watkins can do for Tyrod Taylor. We also bring up Browns quarterbacks and Jeremy Maclin.

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Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor aren’t the only ones getting overpaid to disappoint us this upcoming fall (More on this and much more next week when Tehol graces us with his presence on the Razzblitz podcast).  Jeremy Maclin, who was recently released by the Kansas City Chiefs, has been signed by the Baltimore Ravens to a 2-year deal that will pay him 6 million this upcoming season.  The other team involved in the sweepstakes, the Buffalo Bills, either couldn’t or wouldn’t match.

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Hello everyone, and welcome to another installment of our Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em series.

Hopefully all of you had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday full of great family, friends, food and hockey! Can’t you believe that the Canadiens clawed out another close win against Carolina, and now they are 15-4-2! If only they could start Carey Price every game…. oh, and the Cowboys are 10-1 I guess. I dunno.

We are now one week away from being one week away from the fantasy playoffs, and I hope most of you (hopefully all?) are looking good for some fantasy postseason action, and if you aren’t, hopefully you are close! And if you are at the bottom of your league… well, there is always next year.

I can definitely say that I have greatly enjoyed my time here at Razzball currently over these past two years, and I believe this is a direct result of how awesome some of these writers are here. One of which being my good friend Tehol. Over these past two weeks, Tehol has finished 4th and 2nd out of all of the other experts in the FantasyPros rankings challenge, and I want to give him some mad props for it. If you are feeling good about your team, double-check some of your crucial week-to-week decisions with the Lord himself to get the edge on your competition. You won’t regret it.

Alright, enough jabber. Let’s get to Week 12!

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Well, well, well, look whose back!  It is me, your fearless Fantasy Football Goddess!  Yes, it is true that I had abandoned all of you the past few weeks.  Let this be a lesson to all of you, never, and I mean NEVER travel to Yemen with 2 kilos of hash stowed away in your hooter.  At least, not unless you have an endless supply of money to throw at the Yemeni (is that a word?) government to let you out.  So, needless to say, I am finally back in the states, hooter is back to its normal shape and size, and I am a better person for it.  All in all, it was an experience and I am happy to say that I learned that 2 kilos is 1.5 kilos too much.  So how are we all doing?  It’s been a rough few weeks in the fantasy realm, I see.  I have taken quite a beating myself (body cavity searches aside) and I am at that point in the season where I am throwing in Jose at running back.  You all know Jose.  He was the groundskeeper that I picked up last year and held onto in a lifetime keeper league.  Sure, he doesn’t put up quite the points that I would expect him to, but hey, he puts up more points than most, am I right?  Well, since I know you are all chomping at the bit to hear what gospel I have to bestow upon you this week, I will delay no more.  Here you are, my loyal horde, Week 11’s Hit it or Quit it.

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2008-Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers walks off the field after losing to the Atlanta Falcons 27-24. The Green Bay Packers hosted the Atlanta Falcons at Lambeau Field Sunday October 5, 2008. Steve Apps-State Journal.

Greetings! Oh how I wonder… will the Elder Gods bless me this week? Will they take the six pounds of Mexican schwag as a gift in place of my usual animal sacrifice, or will they rain piss down upon me as if they were R. Kelly (only if he had a full grown African elephant chonger) for not coming correct with some high-grade blueberry kush? Only time will tell, but what is time really anyway? Just a creative way of recording our meaningless existence on this earth as we build this fascinating technology-driven world, only for us to be eventually wiped out like the courageous dinosaurs before us, obliterated like krill being sucked up by a massive blue whale. Oh, to be young again. Building forts, playing General Chaos on Sega Genesis, catching frogs, measuring dick… And what is life now? Fantasy football?  Help me.

I am Lord Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take head!

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