Hello everyone, and welcome to Razzball’s Fantasy Football 2017 Division Previews. On this piece, we’ll take a look at this year’s AFC East. In past offseasons, we’ve seen many versions of the same headline: “Watch Out Patriots, Dolphins/Bills/Jets Are The New Team To Beat”. And while we haven’t seen that storyline yet, this is a division that moved in the right direction as a whole. It’s good to see that just for football in general. There are a lot of fantasy storylines and scenarios to dive into, so let’s get right to it…

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My apologies for the quick and short and sudden intro, but I have hit a “creative writer’s block” when it comes to the intro for the week. Alas, I do not have any stories to tell and rapidly tie back to fantasy football. Hopefully it works for next week.

So let’s just jump right into it, cool? Alright.

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2008-Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers walks off the field after losing to the Atlanta Falcons 27-24. The Green Bay Packers hosted the Atlanta Falcons at Lambeau Field Sunday October 5, 2008. Steve Apps-State Journal.

Greetings! Oh how I wonder… will the Elder Gods bless me this week? Will they take the six pounds of Mexican schwag as a gift in place of my usual animal sacrifice, or will they rain piss down upon me as if they were R. Kelly (only if he had a full grown African elephant chonger) for not coming correct with some high-grade blueberry kush? Only time will tell, but what is time really anyway? Just a creative way of recording our meaningless existence on this earth as we build this fascinating technology-driven world, only for us to be eventually wiped out like the courageous dinosaurs before us, obliterated like krill being sucked up by a massive blue whale. Oh, to be young again. Building forts, playing General Chaos on Sega Genesis, catching frogs, measuring dick… And what is life now? Fantasy football?  Help me.

I am Lord Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take head!

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Whether it’s real or fantasy football, we see time and again the difference between winning and losing can come down to just one play. The Denard Robinson stat correction fiasco of last year’s playoffs caused a change in many a fantasy football result. Yet, few are as frustrating as an official’s call affecting player points, like holding on a TD run or offensive pass interference on a big gainer.

That got me thinking, did anyone suffer bitter defeat because of points taken away from Duke Johnson last week, when inexplicably, officials ruled Washington recovered the ball on a fumble that was never actually lost? I’ve yet to see it in the fantasy football universe, but if it happened to any of you out there, comment below. Regardless, like a mysterious recovery, we fumble through the Week 4 update…

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afc-south

Despite being the urinal puck of the NFL last season, the AFC South is overflowing with fantasy goodness for 2016. Jump into my fantasy van (Hint: It has no windows) and I’ll guide you through the land of elite wide receivers and shiny new quarterbacks. Allow Honcho – your new and most favorite fantasy football bestie to help you navigate the numerous story lines that make up one of the most fantasy rich divisions in football. Can Andrew Luck keep his spleen in one piece this season? Will Blake Bortles remember he’s Blake Bortles or will he continue his ascent up the QB ladder? Can Marcus Mariota deliver through the air? If so, who will he throw to? Finally, is $72 million enough to convince you that Brock Osweiler actually knows what he’s doing? The suspense is too much! Let’s get started. As always, we’ll review the teams in order of predicted finish.

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I’ve spent a total of 45-60 minutes trying to come up with a good introduction for this article, trying to talk about everything from Jewish activities on Christmas, to learning about past mistakes in DFS and applying that to the next week, and nothing has stuck. So I’ll mention one thing before I begin the actual article. Apparently Derek Carr is playing against Amari Cooper in a Season-Long Championship Game, and Cooper finished with 2 receptions for 10 yards, with the longest reception being 7 yards.

I’ve about had it with Fantasy Football.

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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One of the most difficult words to say in the English language has five letters and starts with an ‘s’. Any guesses? You could go in a multitude of directions here, and before you take it down the avenue that garners a solid (not the word) ‘That’s what she said’ from Michael Scott (also not the word), let me just try to get this out.

So…wait. (Exhale). Ok, deep breathe. Let’s try again.

Sor…nope! Not easy. Just simply too much pride in the male ego. But we can do this. If Justin Bieber can sing an entire song about it, I got this.

SORRY. (Cue fireworks, confetti, streamers, balloons and kazoos). Man, I feel a little better now. Do you?

Truth is, the past two weeks on this little advice column have been quite poopy. Call it bad luck, of which a large dose of fantasy football is comprised of, or just bad math, either way it hasn’t been pretty. Each week my goal is to give you great options to compile the best lineup for a 22-man league in FanDuel. Why?

Each week we offer a 22-man Razzball-only FanDuel Contest that pays out the top-5 finishers! Think you’re good enough to operate beyond just luck and work your way to the top of the standings? Then put your money where your fingertips are and enter the $5 Contest for Week 15!

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yoadrian
Well… we’re at that point in the season where we’ve separated the men from the boys. Sorry ladies. It’s just an expression. Those of you that have already clinched a playoff berth, congratulations. Those that are no longer setting their lineups, SHAME ON YOU. Please notice the CAPS. There is very little I despise more than when someone does not set their lineup. Leaving a player that is on a bye or out due to injury is UNACCEPTABLE at any time of the season. I get it, we all have lives and hiccups are going to happen along the way, but more than once is a season is enough for me to want you out of the league. Sorry, but if you can’t find the little bit of time it takes each week to make sure you at least have a lineup of active players, you don’t belong in my league. You’re affecting the outcome of the league when you do this and I won’t stand for it. I won’t sit for it either. In one of my leagues I have gotten my league mates to agree to a fine of $20 for every inactive player left in a lineup. I could go on, but I actually had a different agenda today.

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I’ll admit it. That was probably the best Sunday Night Football game of the season, and it had everything I’ve come to expect from an NFC East divisional game. It’s almost as if the Giants and Washington were there in spirit. In what was the second and final match-up between the Eagles and Cowboys, the game feature two quarterbacks that would probably be quite successful at the collegiate level. And most likely Canadian Football. And the aforementioned ingredients for this divisional game? All there. Turnovers, questionable officiating, amazing plays, the bi-weekly Sean Lee injury (honestly, Lee needs to be banned from playing football for his own good), back and forth scores leading to overtime, and of course, derp. In the end, the Cowboy’s failed to tackle anything during overtime (last play shown above) and now the Eagles have an insurmountable lead in the division at 4-4, good for second. Because Giants, that’s why. So… in summation: F*ck Greg Hardy.

Here’s what else I saw during Week 9’s Sunday games…

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It's gonna be a long year for these Cowboys...

No game in London this week? Well, there goes my willingness to watch a football-like product today… Instead, we’ll have to deal with intriguing match-ups and, well, not so intriguing ones. Your typical Sunday in the NFL I suppose, unlike Thursday and Monday, which are normally intriguing match-ups that end up with not so intriguing games. (INTRIGUING!) If there was one game to watch, it would probably have to be the 6-1 Packers heading to the Carolinas (both of them I guess?) to face off against the undefeated Panthers. A true test to see if the Panthers, are in fact, real, as all their wins have come against some, well, to stick with today’s theme I guess, less-than-intriguing competition. Living in the NFC South will do that to ya I guess. If there was a second game to watch, it would have to be the Eagles and Cowboys annual opportunity at divisional fisticuffs and NFC East derp. Trust me, a Sunday Night Football game showcasing Sam Bradford and Matt Cassel may sound terrible, but it’ll that good kind of terrible. Like eating Spam. Or watching San Andreas

Rankings have been updated and can be found here.

Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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