The NFL draft is now behind us and there is a lot to digest.  The Bears made the worst trade in the history of the draft and teams were able to find some value later on Thursday night.  I’m going to pick a couple handfuls of the picks throughout the draft and let you know what you can expect from a fantasy football standpoint.

It’s very difficult to gauge rookie production going into a new season but there are players who were drafted to play a big role right away.  Training camp and the preseason obviously will be the biggest deciding factor for every player’s participation in the regular season, but what is the fun in waiting?  We should talk about football now, we should try and make projections all of the time.  Plus, the more that I write, the more opportunities there are for you to tell me that I’m wrong…

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Hello everyone and welcome to “Please Tell Me When It’s Safe to Go Outside”, Razzball’s new weekly piece where we wonder what the hell is going on, and debate whether or not we should venture into the terrifying outdoors to see what hellscape awaits us. This week, we will discuss fun activities you can do in your home/security bunker, such as knitting, or fashioning ammunition out of various metal objects you may have laying around *answers call from Jay* I’m being told that this will instead be another installment of Deep Impact, and also that things are pretty much the same as they were last week. For now, at least, it is still safe to go outside, but why do that when instead you can distract yourself from the horrifying state of our current political system by playing fantasy football! As we do every week, we’re looking at less than 10% owned players in the Yahoo game to scrounge for starts, and for once I actually held myself to my own threshold. Be proud of me, everyone!

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Was it just me, or were running backs pretty disappointing during the first week? It could just be me. My weekend consisted of a bachelor party and watching the games at a bar in New Jersey on Sunday sandwiched between two three-hour flights.  Sure, there were good performances, but overall it left me feeling validated that I targeted wide receivers in the early rounds over running backs whenever possible. Anyway, here we are with the week two handcuff, which I guess is technically the first full handcuff report. If you didn’t already know, I will be writing the handcuff report this year, and it should be available every Wednesday morning. With this being the first week of games, we will have to try and determine which performances we can expect to see repeated and which ones we are less likely to see repeated on a regular basis.

Those of who you took David Johnson early are feeling pretty good right now. Those of you who took Todd Gurley are probably feeling slightly less good. If you grabbed a bunch of talent in the first few rounds and then snatched up C.J. Anderson and Ameer Abdullah, you probably won your matchup this week. But those guys are all RB1s, and we hate them here because we are more worried about the scrubs who can steal some points in the coming weeks.

Okay, here we go…

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Welcome back, my horde, to the first official hit it or quit it for the 2016 season!  Sure, I teased you all a little bit with some of my draft and preseason action, but this is the real thing, baby!  Hopefully, you all made it through week 1 without my “Black Widow Curse” taking out your first round draft picks?  I know I made it unscathed this week.  I think I am finally getting the hang of this thing and embracing the evil that is this curse rather than trying to fight it.  I know a couple of you lost some people, and for that, I wish I could say I was sorry, but I am embracing the evil, remember?  So, at least I can make it up to you some way by maybe giving you some people to target this coming week.  Because, after all, I am not a girl who just takes.  I know the importance of giving as well as receiving, especially if we are going to make this love affair last.  So, without further ado, here you are my loyal creeps, weirdos, perverts, geeks, convicts, inmates and overall degenerates, Hit It or Quit It, Week 2.

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Well, on a day where Jim Nantz called a pregame 9/11 memorial a 9/11 celebration, there really isn’t anywhere to go other than down… Or maybe I’m just talking in the context of the Chargers. And yes, I think I’ve written this before, but as one of the few Chargers fans in the industry (there are dozes of us, dozens!), I actually try really hard not to wax poetic about this team, an anti-bias if you will. (Except for Philip Rivers, he’s a flower.) Though, it could also be because injuries and disappointment have been a yearly routine for the Chargers, so plugging in a fork is probably more preferable than writing about them. Regardless, I only try to focus on them when it is absolutely necessary, because, believe me, I’d rather not write about how they lost yesterday despite having a 24-point lead at the half, nor would I want to mention that the Chiefs had the biggest comeback in franchise history, especially since both of those things would probably put someone like myself on suicide watch… But I do probably need to discuss Keenan Allen‘s non-contact knee injury that occurred before the half, which required a cart and hospital visit. It has now been confirmed to be an ACL tear, and based on my extensive health knowledge and degree in orthopedics (haha, my mother wishes!), I can come to the determination that this is bad. Like, season-ending bad. Also, knees continue to be a weak point in human anatomy. Also possibly groins. And this will not only cause ripple effects in football, but fantasy football as well. I think it’s fair to assume that Allen will be out the rest of the year, and here’s who will be affected positively by it: Travis Benjamin, Tyrell Williams, and Dontrelle Inman. To a lesser extent? Antonio Gates and Danny Woodhead. Here’s who will be affected negatively by it: My liver.

We’ll go over it a bit more along with all the other news and notes from yesterdays games after the jump…

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Good news folks, Razzball has renewed my contract for a third season! While I’d love to say that I am to Razzball what Game of Thrones is to HBO, or The Walking Dead is to AMC, it simply would not be true. I’m more like Silicon Valley and Better Call Saul. But hey, that’s something right? Speaking of The Walking Dead, is it too early to start the “who does Negan kill” conversation? Just let it be Glen and let’s be done with it. Ok, back to me. As excited as I’m sure you all are to the prospect of me spending another year spewing nonsense intermingled with football advice, I’m twice as excited to be back. However, I’d like to make a minor request. Good or bad, I’d appreciate you leaving me a comment after reading my posts. If after reading something I’ve written you instantly wish you had the previous six minutes back, then please say so. If taking a dump is more enjoyable than listening to my advice, then tell me about your dump. Got it? Good.

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So wait… You mean to tell me that we’re only a few weeks away from real, live concussion filled NFL action? Where did the time go? Anyway, for those of you not familiar with my work, which would include everyone not in my immediate family, I’m Mike Honcho and I’m usually pontificating on baseball this time of the year. However, it’s hard to say no to the persuasive ways of Unbreakable MB and Jay Wrong. They’re like the Razzball version of “Brazilian security guards” at a gas station at 6 A.M. – You just can’t say no! So here I am, ready to tell you how the AFC West will unfold in 2016. How will Denver cope without America’s favorite “Non-PED using” quarterback? Can Derek Carr take the next step and lead the Raiders to the postseason? Did Andy Reid serve his 15 hours of community service for habitual clock-management violations? Finally, can Phillip Rivers generate enough excitement for the dozens of Chargers fans in San Diego? Theses questions and more (well, not much more) will be answered below. I’ll list the teams in order of predicted finish and give you a few helpful nuggets to help you navigate the choppy waters of fantasy draft season. Join me, won’t you?

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Welcome to the fourth and final installment of the “Sleepers, Breakouts and Busts” series!

I skipped around a bit, publishing the TE’s article a few days ago, but now, we have the ever so elusive WR position.

Over the past few years, the consensus draft strategy has shifted from its former ways; going HB-heavy in the first few rounds to in extreme cases, not drafting any backs in the first few rounds. 2015 was a brutal one for the top backs, as injuries and busts led teams that were loaded at the WR position to become the champions of many leagues. Even as we see the consensus moving towards PPR leagues, receivers are becoming more and more vital, with the plan to get as many of them as we can get our hands on. They are quickly becoming the most popularized position in the NFL.

Taking a look at Jay’s WR Rankings (PPR can be found here), there are at least 13 guys I would be happy with as my #1’s, especially if I found myself going HB-heavy.

But there is specifically one receiver I believe everyone should be actively targeting in drafts.

So let’s get to it.

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So many significant and/or season ending injuries in the NFL this past week.  By the time Thursday comes around there has already been a lot written about these situations, specifically how to value the backups.  The aspect that you probably haven’t seen covered as much at Razzball is how to value the players lost for the season in keeper or dynasty leagues.  So that’s what I’ll be hitting on.  For the players who have suffered less severe injuries, it’s important that we get a handle on their recovery times.  In other words, to properly value Jeremy Langford, we have to know the extent of Matt Forte‘s injury, which is easier said than done.  First I’ll discuss the players with season ending injuries, starting with the most valuable fantasy football players.

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What the heck just happened.  Smooth sailing on the ship of the S.S. Fantasy, and then, we hit the large iceberg known as the “injury”.  From a fellow owner of the some of the guys injured, like most of you, survival mode is kicking into high gear.  The news about Keenan Allen is particularly troubling, because I completely bought into Allen, drinking the Kool-aid preseason and basically owning him everywhere.  I even own him in the two-team league that I share with my mom.  Yeah it’s sad, but we share a league, but draft six teams a piece.  The winner gets a sundae at the local ice cream shop with unlimited toppings.  The league is fun, but not accepting new applicants!  So back to the land of Whale’s Vaginas and who in Sam hell will benefit from the pass happy attack of the Bolts.  The names are fairly well bantered around fantasy circles: Stevie Johnson and  Malcolm Floyd are the main beneficiaries of the unfortunate-ness that is the kidney injury to Keenan.  So what you are asking yourself is who to grab, who will be the main beneficiary and basically what the hell do you do with the void that is a WR2 that you now (and me) have.  Well, the good news is that in the sum of several 100 words, the answer or for lack of a phrase, the non-answer will pronounce itself like a lighthouse set in the middle of Iowa.  So hang out, get relaxed, and put on some comfy pants for the next 2-7 minutes, depending on reading level and we can talk this out in a group format.

Please, blog, may I have some more?