Monday Night Football is all about the narrative, whatever that narrative might be. What story could we blatantly exacerbate that builds up what was already a notable game between two playoff bound teams in the Saints and the Seahawks you ask? Well why not talk about the shorties on the field, right? Where’s T-Pain when you need him? I ask because Russell Wilson needs an auto-tuned ballad rapped about his abilities to play bigger than he really is. Tonight’s matchup was all about featuring the little guy as RW3 was pitted against DB9 in a battle that would ultimately clear the argument: who really was the world’s tallest midget QB? I keed, of course. I’m just blathering about pointless conjecture. I don’t care how tall you are at QB, I just want you to ball dawg. Russell Wilson proved tonight that not every short QB from Seattle played like Rick Mirer as he went for 310 passing yards on 22/30 to go with 47 yards rushing and 3 passing TDs. Now I got a weird look when I put @DangerRussWilson #3 in the weekly rankings but maybe I’ve been too clued into what he’s been doing of late and y’all have not. I just don’t know. What I do know is coming into week 13, he’d been on fire and I couldn’t ignore that given he was at home in a marquee matchup on Monday Night Football. Minus his bye week, RW3 has been a top 10 QB over the last 4 weeks heading into MNF and he kept that trend, finishing 2nd in scoring by ESPN standards. Moving forward, the only worry I have is a letdown game in week 15 if the Seahawks triumph against the 49ers in San Fran but the road to a decent end to the year seems well within reach. I had him ranked as the 6th best QB heading into the year. He was 8th heading into MNF after everyone else had played. Something tells me that call wasn’t too far off now like many may have perceived. Don’t worry, I made up for it by putting Robert Griffin, III 5th, of course. Neverthewho! Here’s what else I saw in the game for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I swear, players with names like this were made for Razzball. Do you know how many puns I’m gonna squeeze out of this down the stretch with him? Trust me, you don’t even know. But more to the point, we here have been all over this guy this week. This isn’t an ‘I toldja so’ but I do hope you all listened to the Razzball Podcast on Tuesday when I said you should pick up Chris Rainey. Then I hope you read the first comment on the Podcast post where I clarified who I was talking about. Anyone out there picking up the 5th string RB for the Steelers…mea culpa. Hopefully you read my BUY column on the following day and made sure it was Bobby Rainey. Sure, I didn’t tell you to start him but Tampa Bay said Leonard was starting. And clearly Tampa Bay never lies…wait, what? Neverthewho! Finally, as if we didn’t treat you like a baby seal enough, we clubbed you over the head on Friday with J-FOH making Rainey the lead in The Handcuff Report. All this to say, unless you were in a coma for the last week, we got you in early on this gem. And if you’re reading us first after coming out of a coma, thank you! Now you should really put life in perspective if we’re the first thing you think of upon waking from something like that. But now that we’re done slapping each other on the ass for the good call over here, let’s get to the numbers: Rainey carried the load in Tampa with 30 carries for 163 yards and 2 TDs on the ground while chipping in 2 for 4 through the air and another score. Yes, that’s three TDs from a guy who’s 23% owned as of mid-day Sunday which probably means he was owned under 10% prior to games starting. Seriously guys, put it at automatic waivers when Sundays start. Cheaters! But more about Bobby: that boy ain’t right…to opposing defenses. There was a lot of concern about his size holding him back from being a lead RB but all I have to say to that is Warrick Dunn. Bobby (5-8, 212) and Warrick (5-9, 180) have a little in common in that area. Everyone wants to pick on the little guy back there but little doesn’t mean these guys can’t carry the load when presented. Looking forward, Rainey had a nice matchup against a Falcons team that has given up plenty on the ground to fantasy backs on the year so I’m not going to anoint him straight away. I’d like to see a little adversity before I do that but I do think if you nabbed him, you’ve got a mid-tier RB2 right now with explosive upside and the potential to make up for all the RB heartache you’ve no doubt suffered to date. Here’s to Rainey making you into the Reigning champion this year. See? We got this for days, people. In other news from Sunday of week 11 for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ostentatious. Adjective. Definition: Characterized by vulgar or pretentious display; designed to impress or attract notice. Welp, it sure worked. We saw it all, Tavon Austin, and we’re all impressed. The 98 yard punt return? Flashy. The 81 yard TD catch and run? Swank. The 57 yard bomb? Razzle-Dazzle. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m using synonyms here for that ‘o’ word you can’t pronounce. It’s ok, it’s the internet, you only need to know context, you don’t have to know how to actually say them. Well here’s where I’m supposed to say ‘Tavon has arrived’ or ‘look for Austin to test his city limits’ because we pun like that around here. But I’m not gonna. Not even close. NOPE. Sure, it was an impressive day but here’s what doesn’t impress me: the number 2. No, I’m not talking about the polite way to say you’re taking a crap. I’m talking about his receptions in the game. Sure, he had 138 yards receiving but c’mon this game screams fluky. Further problems with the ‘pick up Tavon’ mantra or ‘Tavontra’ if you will? The number 7. That’s the number of drops he has on the year heading into the weekend. That’s tied for the league lead and of the 4 others he’s up against in that category, he has the smallest amount of targets. Third? Kellen Clemens is still throwing to him. That’s, to say the least, not a positive. Look, I’m not saying this kid can’t be good some day but that day isn’t today. In deep leagues, I can see getting interested but if I own any shares I’m looking to move on from Tavon. In other 2013 Fantasy football news from Sunday of week 10…Please, blog, may I have some more?
The season is at the midway point and as we journey into the second part of our lonely trudge into fantasy fame in some leagues and fantasy infamy in others, it gets harder and harder to get in on someone and call them a buy low. Too much work has been done at this point to point at a player and say ‘that guys underperforming’ or ‘that one’s clearly playing above his head’ or ‘he should’ve had a V8′. We’ve seen too much and know too much to be fooled by a bad game or two…but it never stops us from trying. And in the spirit of that, I’m here to talk to you about Marshawn Lynch. I’ve been ragging on the ‘hawks coaching staff of late and their offensive game plan and I think it’s fairly warranted. This is a team known for its run game, great defense and the heroics of RW3 when they’re needed. Lemme be the first of many to tell you, the heroics of a game generally aren’t needed until the 4th quarter. Heroics usually don’t watch their running back rush for nearly 50 yards on one drive in the first quarter only to turn the ball over on an interception and then go away from the run for another 2 and a half quarters to top it off. What I’m saying is, after 8 carries for 23 yards against a team defense that gave up almost 200 rushing yards to the Titans a week later, Lynch should’ve been feasting on the Bucs but he didn’t really get the chance to. Well I’m here to say I think the OC in Seattle has learned their lesson – ok, I’m hoping they have – and will go back to the style of ball that has put Seattle in the driver’s seat of the NFC West. Lynch is still on track for a good season – Nearly 1,650 total yards and 12 touchdowns is his current pace – but it only takes a couple of weeks without a touchdown for owners to get anxious. So go calm their fears and taste the rainbow while you’re at it. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m not one to talk the trash or put someone in a verbal vice-grip, but when it comes down to knocking off my fellow RCL writers I feel the urge to gloat. Just a little. Despite my Red Sox World Series hangover of 2004 proportions, your humble-but-nonetheless-bloviating Guru took down JB’s undefeated team that is cleverly named “JB Gilpin” last week and he spent most of Sunday crying to me on the phone about “bye weeks” and how his cat doesn’t “understand” him. Sorry JB, I don’t know how to help you with Mittens, but bad things happen when you assemble your roster after 14 wine coolers. The one and only “Tis Tehol” also fell to your turban clad friend last week. Of course Tehol was too busy checking the progress of his receding hairline to set his roster again, but I’ll take the win. Tehol, are you so mesmerized by your Drakkar drenched banana hammock that you can’t find a tight end to start? However, my first place 6-2 “Scotch Fueled Gurus” lost to an unknown 12-year-old “expert” somewhere in Pennsylvania Amish country whose trash smackin’ prose made Richie Incognito look like Maya Angelou. The kid told me my turban smells like my grandma’s…well, you know, then he beat me 20 points. I feel so bullied. *one lonely tear drops* However, the jammer crammers have been coming through for us this year. Last weeks jams of Terrelle Pryor and Tim Wright were solid plug ‘n’ plays. Let’s forget I suggested jamming on the New Orleans defense, okay? Overall, we have hit on about 70% of our jammer/crammers in any given week. I’m not ready to surrender my turban just yet, my Razzballer’s. And I certainly won’t hand it over to a prepubescent, Fall Out Boy loving kid that sleeps in his Ben Roethlisberger footie pajamas while his mommy rubs his heiny and tells him how special it is. By the way, kid, my dad can beat up your dad. It’s time to jam it or cram it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the words of one of the more quotable presidents in recent memory, ‘ya fool me can’t get fooled again’. Read that with a Texans accent and you’ll get a better feel for who we’re going with here. Still no? Eh, ok, I’m not here to give you a recent presidential history lesson so I’m dropping the subject and moving on to the real story. Namely Nick Foles. Yes, the Nick Foles that put up a terrible line against a terrible defensive secondary in the Dallas Cowboys just two weeks ago which started the tailspin conversation of Chip Kelly’s offense ‘not working’ and being overrated. I get the negativity. Coming into today’s game, the Eagles hadn’t scored an offensive touchdown in 10 quarters. Yes, Tampa Bay scored an offensive touchdown or two in that same span. Yes, so did the Jaguars. Heck, a guy who only played on 19 snaps for his own team in week 8 – Marvin Jones – scored 4 touchdowns. What the heck was going on here? Oh NFL and your wily ways. When will we ever understand that this game ebbs and flows and just when it seems a team is the worst in the league that just a few adjustments could turn it around? Foles had a terrible day in Dallas, make no mistake. But then he got concussed and Vick stepped in for week 8 and it was clear he wasn’t healthy enough to be playing and in stepped 3rd stringer Matt Barkley. Well, I don’t know about you but it’s not very often I expect my third string QB to step in and lead a scoring drive. I am bringing all of this up to say don’t be worried about being Fole’d again. The kid and this offense can function at a high level. No, his channeling of the ghost of Peyton Manning – he’s dead to those who have him on bye this week – isn’t going to happen week in and week out. But I am saying the kid is good and can be good and will be good as he threw TD passes to 4 different receivers and finished 23/29 for 409 yards on the dot, 7 TDs and zero INT. Two QB leagues…well, he should already be owned. But if I have some iffy QB like Matt Ryan at this point, I’d jump at the chance at upside here and go with Nick. If you don’t put a waiver or some monies down on him this week, well…you don’t get Foles again. NO NO! In other news from the fine Sunday that was week 9 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re heading into the second half of the season, but that means there’s still 8 more weeks to keep your DraftKings acumen razor sharp, or play your way through satellites, or just start crunching week 17 numbers for the HUGE WEEK 17 MILLIONAIRE GRAND FINALE DraftKings is throwing to end the regular season. I’m trying my hardest to win my way up, but guys keep getting hurt on my squad! Good thing my DraftKings triage heals every week, and why playing in daily leagues erases the injury pessimism into brand new healthy optimism. Start anew every week!
I’ll be playing in another $1-$2 contest and hopefully winning a big hunk of change to enter into some Millionaire satellites. I still haven’t won anything big, except all my pride after beating Nick every week! I think Nick is done…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now I wish to start this post off by saying I’m a Seahawks fan. I’m not a loud-mouthed one nor am I looking at this game as any form of victory. The Rams whooped their butts and if they had any type of QB at the helm to run this offense more efficiently, Seattle would’ve/could’ve/should’ve lost this one. It was terrible on multiple facets but I’m gonna admit I came away impressed with a player from Saint Louis tonight. His name is Zac Stacy and he done good. Against one of the better defenses in the league, Stacy touted the rock 26 times for 134 yards. Not only was the volume night to see but averaging 5.2 ypc against a defense that was typically only giving up 3.7 and had only given up 641 total on the year, which is good enough for 6th best in the league? Flex those pecs son, you owned this game. Now I’m gonna throw a comparison out there but keep in mind I’m horrible at these. At least my wife thinks so. I told her she looked like Anna Gunn from Breaking Bad. Seriously, I know she’s an annoying character but look past that, honey! The hair, the eyes, the smile. Sorry, it’s all there. Yes, I’ll sleep on the couch tonight…but where was I? Oh yeah, the comp. Now I’m not saying he is exactly this but I saw a bit of Ray Rice in how he ran the ball tonight. Big body between the tackles that can turn a 2 to 3 yard carry into a 5 to 6 yard one with a few wiggles and you barely see him do it. Keep in mind I’m talking strictly about how he runs. Not what he’ll do rest of season nor his future prospects but I will say I was thoroughly impressed. Here’s to hoping that ankle sprain at the end of the game is very minor. I’d love to see if Zac is an RB maniac. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…Please, blog, may I have some more?
My biggest reason for digging daily fantasy leagues, and DraftKings is by far my favorite, is I can brag right away. As in, “HAHA Nick I owned you this week!” While I still finished just out of the money, I had a solid team and can still brag to dear Nicholas. If you didn’t catch it last week, Nick and I tweeted out our line-ups and my immediate response to his was “Josh Freeman?!” This just isn’t Nick’s year for football… And with DraftKings you get immediate bragging rights unlike your yearly leagues. Sure my 7-0 Writer’s League Team is going to do better than Nick’s 1-6 team, but hey, at least I know for sure I won DraftKings!
Nick and I are going to face off again in the same $1 challenge to see if I can go double-or-nothing against him. We’re putting our teams together now and will tweet them out right before kickoff on Sunday as well. Razzball Nation is of course invited to join and track our teams and see how you stack up against us in the same challenge. And pick Josh Freeman again Nick!Please, blog, may I have some more?
There are certain films where you watch it from start to finish and you say to yourself ‘some of that shouldn’t have worked…but it did’. They keep you riveted to your seat for fear of missing a great moment and even with the blunders in between that pop up you make due because the great points are just that enjoyable. And so enters Russell Wilson and his night against the Cardinals. His 18/29 for 235 to go with 3 passing touchdowns and 29 yards rushing to go with 2 fumbles was both impressive and incomprehensible at times and I dare say for the same reasons in certain moments. A play that looked like a sack in which he throws a pass that should’ve been intercepted on 3rd down and instead turns into a first down…it was on scale with Kung Fu Hustle in so many ways, I can’t begin to describe it. Ok, the real truth to this intro is to get you to watch Kung Fu Hustle. NOW. If you don’t enjoy it, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Seriously, we can’t be friends period. There are very few movies I’ll watch multiple times. Big Lebowski? Check. Zoolander? Check. Anchorman? Please, we know that answer to that. But enough about Sky’s DVDs, how did Wilson perform tonight? He performed like a top 15 QB. I really hate typing that but it’s true. I think he’s gonna be too inconsistent week to week for us to count on and it’s not been matchup dependent so far. I really had high hopes heading into this year for fantasy purposes but he looks destined for a year that is great in real life but won’t play well in the fantasy world at this point. If you bought in on the top 10 QB hype and I’m partially to blame, mea culpa. I hope my movie suggestions assuage the situation. In other news from TNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?