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In what was an embarrassing display of defense, especially for the Bears, or even the Buccaneers, the Patriots took advantage of the brand new and radical “Cover No one” formation, laying down a 51-spot on the scoreboard. Gronk smash is correct. Much had been publicized on Brandon Marshall’s “motivational speaking” tour after a Miami loss last week, “motivating” everyone from Jay Cutler to Robbie Gould.

‘We’ve got Alshon Jeffery, Martellus Bennett, Matt Forte. We’ve got a stud offensive line. We’ve got a great, great group of guys. And this is unacceptable. What did we put up, 14 points? Was it 14 points? That’s unacceptable.”

You see something missing there? People, who, perhaps are in charge of preventing another team from outscoring yours? Pray tell… So, we’ll probably get another week of Marc Trestman blaming (somewhat warranted), Brandon Marshall yelling (probably shouldn’t call it motivating anymore) and Jay Cutler outrage (because he gave up 51 points all by his lonesome). Unless, of course, the media will focus more on fact that the Patriots are now 6-2, in first place, and look every bit as dangerous as they used to. Sigh, that’s exactly what’s going to happen, isn’t it? Oh God damn it Bears, did you really have to let that happen?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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In a thrilling day of footballing, there were nine games decided by a touchdown or less, three games decided by a field goal or less, and two overtime victories. It was enough to make some teams (looking directly at you Jim Caldwell and the Lions) wonder why someone like Alex Henery, who single-handedly (or footedly? Is that a word?) lost the game against the Kyle Orton led Bills 17-14, (to what was a 58-yard field goal to Dan Carpenter) still holds a job in the NFL. Missing one field goal is okay. Missing two is unacceptable. Missing three in a game, one of which came with 51 seconds remaining… well… if anything, Henery should be immediately cut just for allowing the above photo to be a thing. Fun fact: If you look up the word “d*ckish” in the dictionary, you’ll find a smug Jim Schwartz smiling right back at you. And while you could easily see getting carried off the field after beating Detroit in the fifth week of the regular season as the most Buffalo thing ever (landing as a tie with eating and drinking too much before sobbing uncontrollably… or is that Cleveland?), apparently asking your team to do this in the preseason, as far back as OTA’s seems, I don’t know, spiteful? Smarmy? Maladjusted? Well, to be fair, with Schwartz, no one would ever see him being that kind of guy… But hey, some good came out of this. Kyle Orton threw for over 300+ yards with a touchdown against the number one ranked defense in the NFL, which is pretty good. And probably the eighth sign that the end of the world is here.

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Beer bonging a gallon of chew spit while watching your pregnant mother get a$$ blasted by Ron Jeremy> Owning Larry Fitzgerald in fantasy football in 2014.

-Tehol Beddict

Greetings, and welcome to another excruciatingly sexy edition of, Disgrace/Delight! I am your honored master of ceremonies, the Tehol Beddict, and I come to you bearing gifts. Where in the name of the Elder Gods are these gifts, you ask? The presents I offer you, distinguished ladies and gents, is the verbiage I’ve spewed out for you below in the form of written communication. Take it all in (swallow, don’t spit) and leave your thoughts and questions when you’re finished reading, as each and every one of you deserve special attention (ladies and Sky especially ).

You know what the deal is here and you definitely know what the real is. This is: DISGRACE/DELIGHT!!! TAKE HEED!

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New York Jets Rookie Minicamp

This represents the first article of a series we are referring to as “Deep Impact”, where we at Razzball will examine players who are tucked away deep in the player projections and are bound to surpass their underwhelming expectations. The benefit of these players – aside from showing off your fantasy football prowess – is that they are often available on your fantasy league waiver wire and they can provide relief to fantasy owners looking for quality talent in deeper formats. So without further ado, let us begin with New York Jets Tight End Jace Amaro.

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There are two C’s in my last name buddy.

The first question you should ask yourself while you’re doing your best Taxi Driver impersonation in the mirror is– really, are Jay’s rankings crazy? Or am I just crazy? (Check them out… Razzball Football rankings). The ole’ smoke dog is here to just squeeze water out of a stone, take the dog down the block… or whatever the appropriate wit of wisdom is. So I will first look today at quarterback and will be using the half-PPR scoring formats in the RCL’s as the backbone for discussion. The class is as deep as the minds of Minolta. The good ole theory of waiting, or sorta waiting, comes into play.  The top-12 QB’s from a year ago had a range of  154.8 points between them, no thanks in large part to the ridiculous all-time season of Peyton Manning. With that, I’m going to focus on how Josh McCown could be a fantasy forgotten in TB.  The same Josh McCown who basically scored 25 pts less than Jay Cutler did all year, but only in 5 1/2 games.  Stay after the bump we get deeper and deeper into the proof or lack of it.

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Yes, it happened. And even though these games don’t mean anything, this epic showdown was hyped as “Harbowl 3″, letting us know that the terrorists, in fact, have won. But if there’s anything the NFL is good at, it’s hype. And also having zero self-awareness. That also tops the list. So the hype-train arrived with much fanfare last night, which is why we got to watch Denver fans boo the sh*t out of the team that destroyed them in the Super Bowl. But for fantasy, is there anything to be gleaned here in the first set of preseason games? What is gleaning, is the question here. GLEAN ME, right? Oh yes, I shall glean you. So the answer? Probably not much. And if you watch Patriot preseason games, nothing. For example, I could say that Jay Gruden’s usage of Roy Helu against the Patriots was notable, especially for PPR formats (something I actually believe). But is that usage a function of the games not counting? And what do we make of long-sustaining drives, like the first drive the Ravens had? Does it tell us their offensive line looks better and they have a more cohesive unit overall, or is it just rust and the first time these players are live-tackling? There are just way too many unknowns here, and so really the only thing that you should monitor are injuries and Brandon Weeden sightings. Just kidding on that last one. You should actually monitor your alcohol intake. Or maybe that’s just me.

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Two much eliteness going on here. (See what I did?)

Welcome to another strategy session. While probably not as good as a pizza session, we’re gonna get darn close, because today, of all days, we are going to go over two-quarterback leagues. Because having Tony Romo lead your team to playoff aspirations until November rolls around and he removes the clutch from your car is not enough. Nope. We need to add the potential to both have Tony Romo and Eli Manning on the same fantasy team, which I heard is the 18th sign of the end of the world. Obama was the 16th and 17th sign on the list, if you were wondering. Yes, that’s right, two-quarterback leagues are really-really different, I can’t stress that enough. Which is why you got two really’s. Everything you know about standard and PPR formats gets thrown out the window, as you’ll see the aforementioned Tony Romo be drafted ahead of Dez Bryant in most leagues. That’s a cup of crazy, as they would say. Actually, they wouldn’t say that… I don’t think anyone has ever said that. So let’s get you primed for what is going to be the weirdest draft you’ve ever been a part of. Unless it was a salamanders in your shoes draft. That would probably top this one.

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Now that the draft dust has settled and mini-camps have started, we can start to get serious about rookie wide receiver and tight end contributions in fantasy football this year.  The wide receiver class is full of studs; those who could potentially unseat the incumbents and make some serious noise.  The tight end class is much weaker, as there are only a couple of  names that could potentially see a significant amount of playing time.

Before we get too excited about some of these guys, I always consider the quarterback throwing them the ball first.  We have all made mistakes in the past drafting high profile, high potential receivers (ahem, Larry Fitzgerald) with the hopes that they can miraculously make their quarterback’s smarter, or mechanics better.  Be realistic here, and still stick with drafting wide receivers and tight ends who have proven passers.

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Greetings!!!  Welcome to Razzball’s first ever, REAL NFL Mock Draft. The more you know and understand about rosters and the NFL in general, will only help you achieve your grandiose dreams of fantasy greatness. Who better than I, Tehol Beddict, Razzball’s own in-house football expert, to break down what all 32 NFL teams should be doing with their first round selections? Don’t answer that.

I expect there to be numerous trades in the first round, and all throughout the draft, but I’m not even going to attempt at predicting all of the trade scenarios. That’s like trying to decipher how Nicolas Cage went from an A-list leading actor to the holding up “Will Work for Food” signs on Hollywood Boulevard.  I don’t recall ever being this pumped up about an NFL Draft, as this is one of the more intriguing draft classes in some time.  I’m giddy like a school girl on Christmas Eve!

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With the NFL schedule being recently introduced and the draft only about a week away, we are officially approaching the “pre-pre” season of the NFL. The kids are only a couple months from being dismissed for summer break and before we know it, camp will open.  It is fun during this time of year to ponder on the upcoming diamonds in the rough.  While some of the names on this list are well known, they are beginning to be overlooked by fantasy gurus across the web.  I want to bring them back to the light and explain how they will be fantasy relevant once again.  As you will see, the players are mentioned by position with the standard scoring format in mind.  I am keeping this first installment for the QBs, RBs, and WRs.

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