LOGIN

Playing fantasy football is almost exactly like playing the stock market. It’s very simple: The player is the player, and the stock is the stock. Those things don’t change – what changes is when and where we acquire them. We gotta buy low and sell high. It’s all about relative value.  Case in point: Back […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I see you there with your lone win, maybe two, and you are starting to worry. This is not at all how you thought the season was going to go when you were drafting back in August. The real fear is starting to sink in of completely missing the playoffs and having to play for your league’s last place trophy, which is probably some horrid garden ornament you must display in your home every day through the following season. I am here to tell you, there options and you guessed it, we are looking towards the silver screen for inspiration. When John Cassavetes’ acting career was in trouble in Rosemary’s Baby he reached out to his neighbors for help, but now he must help raise that baby and apparently something is wrong with his eyes. You could always see your local Godfather for some trade assistance and a deal no one could refuse, but horseheads are in short supply these days. Then again, it is probably better to buckle down and focus on fielding the best lineup you can. Allow me to be of assistance with this week’s waiver wire recommendations.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Air Yards are the Gordon Ramsey of fantasy receiving stats. They tell us exactly what was right and clearly what was wrong with how a receiver performed in a given week. Often, it’s not easy to hear. But you as a fantasy manager need to pay attention to the under-the-hood numbers from your receivers instead of just blindly trusting the box score results, you donkey. 

Each week, this column will dissect air yards for actionable info in the weeks to come. For Week 6, we will do a quick analysis of the list of the 84 wide receivers who finished last week with at least 30 air yards.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Your WR top 80 6.0 is here! Now we not only have to deal with injuries, we have to account for COVID inactives and postponements. Some shuffling in the top 12 but until the injured elites return, tier 1 remains a two man show.

This list is not league or format specific, but it is based on 2020 rest-of-season projection only. When thinking through tiers and rankings I asked myself simply – “all things considered who would I rather have on my roster?”

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s up everybody? Your usual Sunday roundup author, Donkey Teeth, is in a bit of a predicament, so I’m stepping in to help you catch up on the Sunday games. What predicament is DT in, you ask? Glad to spill the secrets! See, DT is a member of an elite club of adventurers who, upon the release of pumpkin spice lattes in the fall, gather in Los Angeles for their annual Kart Across America race. Donning the costumes of their favorite Mario Kart character, the group hops on actual go karts to race across the great American highways at 20 MPH. This year, our beloved DT — dressed as his hero Wario — took a banana to the face and crashed into an In-N-Out just outside of El Segundo. Of course, he lost his wallet in the crash. He’s also slightly blinded from the animal sauce that got in his eyes. Yet, he wants to finish the race, so he got back on the kart, took some mushroom power, and was last seen drifting by Lake Tahoe. 

ENYWHEY, let’s take a look at some of the highlights for Sunday’s NFL games for your fantasy football teams. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Socrates once said, “True knowledge exists in knowing you know nothing.” But if I know that I know nothing then isn’t that knowing something? What then? I’m already confused! What we can all agree on, based on my #9 ranking of Kerryon Johnson in my top 20 dynasty running backs, is that I’m a huge idiot AND I know nothing. Unless of course Kerryon happens to be a 22 year old fantasy RB1 this season. Then I’m just a regular size idiot because Juju Smith-Schuster has been omitted from my top 20 dynasty wide receivers. If somehow you resisted the urge to throw your computer against the wall in outrage at this news, then use that computer to take a look at the rest of our dynasty and rookie rankings for 2020 fantasy football. Anyway, here’s my top 20 wide receivers for 2020 PPR dynasty football: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After the NFL Scouting Combine this past year, much was made of D.K. Metcalf’s rippling muscles. My boss was talking up the Ole Miss product’s biceps. My girlfriend was enamored with his bustling chest. Even Momma-Donk called to ask about D.K.’s glutes. But what nobody talked about were his bulging calves. That is until week 9, when the Buccaneers defense was hypnotized by Metcalf’s leg beef.

The entire Seahawks offense took full advantage of this calf-muscle-induced hypnosis with Russell Wilson going 29/43 for 378 yards and 5 touchdowns—he now has 22 passing touchdowns on the season—Tyler Lockett snagged 13 catches for 152 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 6 touchdowns on the season—and the sexy calved beast himself, D.K. Metcalf, hauled in 6 catches for 153 yards and his 5th touchdown. The Buccaneer defense will attempt to snap out of the trance before gazing into Kyler Murray’s sparkling eyes next week. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?