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Week 3 was a crazy, crazy week. Thanks Trump! I kidd. Blake Bortles, Case Keenum, and Eli Manning all threw for at least three touchdowns, with Bortles throwing four! The Jets dominated. It gets crazier, though. Eight of the games on Sunday had the road teams as favorites. The Jaguars, Colts, Bears, Jets, Bills, and Redskins all took care of business at home. Bow wow wow yipee yo yipee ya! Home dogs! The Lions should have won and the Chargers…well, just scroll down to the recap of that game and all will become clear.

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Week 2 Review

In the interest of full disclosure I’m going to review some of my good and bad calls each week. I have no shame in admitting when I’ve made a bad call — if I was right 100% of the time I’d be living like Biff Tannen!

Good Calls:

Start Philip Rivers: 17.9 points

Sit Isaiah Crowell: 3.7 points

Sit Pierre Garcon: 5.6 points

Sit Patriots D/ST: -2 points

 

Bad Calls:

Start Jared Goff: 10.9 points

Sit Carlos Hyde: 17.3 points

Sit Dez Bryant: 18.9 points

Sit Travis Kelce: 24.3 points

Week 2 had some mixed results, but I’m confident in my start/sit picks for this week:

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Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

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Can you guys feel it? Football is back baby! It feels forever ago that the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead, and now, for the first time in 7 months, we now can get back to meaningful football! I can’t wait! I can’t wait to fall asleep on my couch to the soothing voice of Scott Hansen, waking up and getting frustrated that my players are doing absolutely nothing, only to realize that it’s only the 2nd quarter and then falling back asleep to avoid watching Houston vs. Jacksonville.

It’s going to be a fun and hopefully very long season, so let’s jump right into it with my Week 1 rankings!

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Before you begin to read this article, I shall require that you execute a move to a quiet and discreet location. If you have an office, close the door and shut the blinds. If thou works in a cubicle, a restaurant, manual labor, etc., I demand you leave at once. You deserve a sick day, you deserve… my sickness. I will even personally have a doctor write you a note. That is correct, I’ve consummated relationships with numerous doctors, the kind that are not timid when it comes to getting their hands dirty… Usually it’s a pointer finger up my butt, but in this case the gals will gladly write you the letter, prescriptions extra, butt (no pun intended) of course. Marijuana is encouraged, not because I smoke it (I’m sober), but because I’ve been told that’s the only way a human brain can properly portray what I am trying to get across here. If not, just steal some of your wife’s Adderall she keeps for weight-losing emergencies, you know, the stuff she keeps around to impress the co-worker she flicks the bean to three nights a week while you’re drinking macrobrews with your bros, or sleeping on the sidewalk for early Comic-Con admittance. Divorce her? And lose half of your things!?! ARE YOU INSANE? Have your children taken away from you!??!…Depends on the children I suppose. Do you realize your fantasizes of picking up a hot younger woman will disintegrate the moment you are sharing a studio apartment in the city with curtain down the middle with some 20-year-old college junior college grad driving a 2002 Prius, for you are now paying child support and are far less good looking than you’ve believed your entire life. You’ve become sloppy and overweight, balding; you’re a farter with halitosis that needs assistance in having the zits on his back popped. Maybe it’s time for some life changes. Quite possibly, it’s time to hit the gym, get some hair plugs and some benzoyl peroxide wash for your back… OOOOOOOOOOOOOR, you could just focus all you energy and built up repulsion of that badger you married, ON BUILDING THE GREATEST FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! The key to getting out of your marriage ahead just be shutting her out completely and then having a private dick follow her around until he snaps some flicks of her getting papaya from that aforementioned co-worker we spoke of earlier. With that being said… I AM TEHOL BEDDICT and this DISGRACE/DELIGHT! TAKE HEED!

Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!

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The Draft podcast that was recorded live during our draft can be listened to after the jump, which was again hosted by former ESPN Producer PodVader. Come to think of it, he not only hosts this league year-after-year, but he also special hosts for the actual podcast! Two birds! One stone! You know how the saying goes… (Hint: if you’re a bird, you’re f*cked.) And with this expert draft in the books a season after I took the championship (blind squirrel, nuts, I like your nuts joke, etc.), it’s time to write about said draft in a self-deprecating manner that will captivate all of my first dates (and not so coincidentally, my last dates) to no end. So first, let’s introduce the players… (and if you’d like to check out the team that pulled it off in 2016, you can grab your context here. But grab lightly! Think juggling with jazz hands…)

ESPN’s former Producer PodVader, (Jay Soderberg) from Next Fan Up and BlogTalkRadioDFSR‘s Doug Norrie, Mat Harrison from LeagueSafe (use promo code: RAZZBALL for $10.00 League credit!), “d-Rx®” (yes, that’s his name, no, he’s not a T-Rex with a silent ‘T’, unfortunately) from Pyromaniac, Matt Freedman from FantasyLabs and RotoViz RadioPro Football Weekly‘s Kyle Nabors, Joel Henard from Fantasy Insiders, Chris Schubert from FanRag SportsBrandon Marianne Lee from Her Fantasy FootballDale from Eat-Sleep-FantasyMatt Chatham from Football by Football, Kevin from The Fantasy Football Guys, Todd from The Fantasy Sharks, and Jay from Razzball (hey, that’s me!) And now? The recap!

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Something you didn’t know you wanted until now… I didn’t even know I wanted this until it was made. Much like your mother. You can find Razzball’s Quarterbacks Preview here. You can find Razzball’s Quarterback Rankings here. And Razzball’s Visualized Tiers for Quarterbacks (probably the best draft accessory you can bring as part of your ensemble) can be found after the jump!

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Welcome to Razzball’s Fantasy Football Preview series, where yours truly will guide you, caress you, perhaps even coddle you through your draft preparations and processes. Mmm, processes. And while none of this may be legal and I’ll end up with multiple restraining orders, rest assured that we’ll all be the better for it. Maybe. We’ll go in depth (that’s what she said) at every position… well, the positions that actually count (I’m looking at you Kickers and DSTs…), going over some analysis, the tiers, and any illuminating observations I might have. Because light bulbs are just the coolest thing. Said everyone from the 1800s. Before you get settled down, please refer to Razzball’s 2017 Fantasy Football Draft Rankings, and specifically for this post, refer to our Quarterback Rankings

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After publishing my first post on Razzball, I wanted to also offer my selection for the most overrated player in upcoming fantasy football drafts as Drew Brees. While Brees has been the model of excellence while quarterbacking the New Orleans Saints by averaging between 21 and 24 standard fantasy points per game since 2012, he is entering his 17th year in the NFL at age 38. For over a decade, Brees has had the pleasure of playing in a division with historically weak defenses while playing 10+ games per year in temperature controlled domes with an offensive mastermind calling the shots and incredibly talented weapons catching his touchdown passes. However, in the past 3 seasons, Brees has lost favorite targets such as Jimmy Graham, Brandin Cooks, and Marques Colston. Down the stretch of 2016, Brees only had a 7-to-7 TD:INT ratio in the final 5 games of the season, which was a main reason that the New Orleans Saints barely missed the playoffs with a 7-9 record. While the addition of Adrian Peterson to team up with Mark Ingram in the running game should take some of the onus off of Brees to carry the team on his back for another season, a stronger commitment to the running game would also limit red-zone touchdown and overall yardage production for the prolific quarterback.

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Hello everyone, and welcome to the first article in a series of position-by-position analysis before Training Camp arrives in a about a month. We’ll start off with the QB position, a position, unlike previous years, where there are many options that can leave us satisfied, while few that will make us feel sick. This is a good thing that means we can spend most of our research on assessing the HB and WR positions for the upcoming year, but it’s still important to figure out the path we want to take when choosing our gunslingers.

Below, I’ll be profiling my favorite options from this group while also weighing Strength-of-Schedule and any offseason changes or impacts from the draft. Then I’ll go over the options that I want to stay away from this year.

Let’s get to it…

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