I’m nothing if not culturally irrelevant. Leave it to me to bring up a white Canadian Reggae rapper from the early 90′s that was known best for a song that no one can sing along to because we have zero clue what the crazy Canuck was saying. Lickeeboomboomdan? Ickyvroomvroomman? I have zero clue. I’ve looked up the lyrics now that I live in the age of the intarwebs. Still don’t care. Dude was spitting fierce tourette’s jibberish if you ask me. We get made fun of for Vanilla Ice, what about some accountability for this, Canada? You’ve never bombed my great nation but you’ve still found ways to destroy my culture. Bryan Adams, Alanis Morissette, Nickelback…you guys have zero shame. But of course I’m not here to add fuel to the inevitable Canada vs ‘Merica war, I’m here to talk fantasy football and so I’m picking probably the worst game on the day to pick my stud from. Naturally. In what can only be described as a snow bowl, the Eagles won 34-20 in a game that featured no FGs or XP attempts, 8 total fumbles, and Foles’ first INT of the year, it only makes sense that LeSean McCoy would go off against one of the best rushing defenses in the league. Can’t throw the ball in the snow, eh? Well, might as well run Shady 29 times for 217 yards and 2 TDs then. Problem solved. Though the weather let up a bit in the second half, it was still a fantasy $h!tshow for most of us who owned parts of these two teams. Megatron? Bupkis. Stafford? Lamesauce. Riley Cooper? Oh fudge (only I didn’t say fudge). It was a game that ‘real football fans’ adore and we fake football fans loathe, especially on the first week of the playoffs. This game could’ve sealed the fate for quite a few teams. It’s a bitter pill to swallow because either way you’re gonna be mad. What if Stafford, Megatron, et al went off on your bench? Roshambo yourself. But they stayed in your lineup and didn’t go off. Another roshambo to oneself. It was a can’t win scenario and unfortunately – unless you owned McCoy – probably won’t win because of it. Well look at that, I’ve already depressed 75% of my readers in the first paragraph. New record! Well let’s get to some better news then shall we? Here’s the rest of the fantasy goods from week 14 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Normally a big game from someone comes early in the day and I circle it, pin it on my 100 %recycled cork board and dictate the rest of my post in pieces here and there throughout but I’m not gonna lie: the Broncos vs Pats game I had circled. I just knew the name would come out of this game. I mean, we had all those stars and great storylines. Wes Welker returning to face his former team. Amendola living up to the hype of trying to replace Wes in New England. Peyton Manning doing his best nihilist impersonation. Gisele rushing onto the field and Tonya Harding’ing Welker also came to mind. But instead, out of all the storylines this game brought to life, it was really center stage for a guy who’s been under-appreciated for what he has meant to his team, been called out on twitter and in general gets no respect. I’m of course talking about Knowshon Moreno, the much maligned starting RB for the Broncos whose emergence started last year when Willis went down with an injury and rolled into this year while all the pundits said Montee Ball would be the star in Denver. And yet, through it all Moreno has put up some very solid fantasy numbers on the year. But I’m taking this second to point out a different part that’s just as important; what he means to his team. Moreno ‘gets it’ and Peyton knows it. He trusts him. When Moreno is out there, Manning knows he’s got a guy who knows the play and will be ready to block if the play changes and where he needs to be to make the team successful. Of course, twitter has been cruel to him but it’s also shed some light here and there as well. And despite the massive fantasy day, tallying 224 rushing yards on 37 carries to go with a TD, Moreno left the stadium in a walking boot and on crutches. I’m pointing all of this out to say it’s not just Moreno owners who should be worried about this injury as it could affect the offense as a whole if he misses significant time. You think I’m being melodramatic up in here? Think back on all those fumbles by Peyton on huge sacks. Guess who was in to pass block? Mmm-hmmm. He’s real football important and because of that his fake football persona is relevant. Montee Ball started the collapse for the Broncos in the second half with a fumble and has had pass pro issues. Ronnie Hillman has been in the inactive dog house since his fumble fiasco at the goal line in the Colts loss. CJ Anderson? Odd if they wanted him involved why they haven’t given him many reps since the Hill demotion. All this to say, Broncos thought it was cold Sunday Night. We might be finding out how warm it is when he’s away. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know…in other news from week 12 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I think I’ve finally done it. I’ve done gone and lost my mind up in this. It’s week 12 and I’m telling you that Joe Flacco – yes that Joe Flacco – is a top ten QB this week. Man, I’m going so against the grain. How against the grain are you, Sky? I’m so against the grain right now, my wood shop teacher just retroactively expelled me for a week. *Crickets* Standup routine…yeah, I’m still working on it. But here’s the scenario: as boring as Flacco can be – and is and will forever be – oil and water don’t mix and by that I mean…hold on a minute *grabs flask and fills with water and oil*. See? Ok, science class is out for the day. Back to fantasy football. I don’t know if you noticed last weeks Jets vs Bills game – and unless you’re a huge fan of either, you probably didn’t – but EJ Manuel performed what would be described as a ‘vertical pass’ many a time and found himself to be very successful doing it. The big thing about that? His top receiving threats of Wood and Stevie J weren’t in. He was chucking to Goodwin and Graham who, though decent, are still young and, well, they ain’t the #1 and #2 on that team. So the Jets gave up a combined 155 yards to these two last week and it propelled EJ into the top 12 for QBs in scoring. And so enter the Flacco. Baltimore was successful last year with their running game but also with taking long shots down the field. For as much as I rag on Flacco, he does have a strong arm and he does throw an accurate deep ball. The cool thing about that? Jets gave up at least three passing plays that cleared 30 yards, two of them clearing 40. For all the good the Jets rushing defense has been, their passing defense has been equally bad. So with that in mind, Jacoby Jones gets a bit of a bump for the week and I think Flacco has a strong chance at a 250~275 yard passing day and 2 or 3 TDs. In other points of dissent, Ryan Mathews now has 10 or more points in four of his last 5 for standard scoring and faces a KC defense that for as strong as it is, can be run on. Since KC’s offense isn’t exactly an offensive juggernaut, there’s plenty of time for Mathews to get in his carries and pursue his 4th 100 yard game on the year (3 in his last 5). Oh and no AP in the top 5? Yeah, could come back to bite me but there were so many great matchups this week for above average RBs. It was hard to say any of the guys I put ahead of him don’t have a great chance to outshine him. Just note Andre Brown was my breaking point Even my insanity has its limits. Meanwhile, Kenny Stills with a 40 yard bomb and a TD in your WR3 spot sounds about right to me. Cotchery? Well, Antonio is gonna be Haden his stay in Cleveland and either he or Sanders is gonna have himself a fine day. If Sanders can’t go, Cotchery will probably steal his spot in the WR rankings…and your heart. And in Miami, if He-Man doesn’t score at least a TD with 60 or 70 yards, I will have to protest. Defensively, there’s a pile of interesting ones out there. Riaders? Decent against the run, they’re at home and Ryan Fitzpatrick is the Titans starting QB. Could be an under the radar top 10 play this week. Rams I just couldn’t let linger outside the top 10 after their showing in Indy and coming off a bye while playing at home. Could get an electric crowd and a big scoring day from them. This week I made 28 paper footballs and had my wife kick field goals on the table. Inside each, there was a name of a kicker. If she missed, those kickers didn’t make the top 10 and had to try again. Then we ate hot pockets and went to bed. Still a better love story than Twilight. Wait, what? Ok, that’s a wrap. Good luck to you this week, bad luck to your opponents and game on. Here’s the week 12 rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
So I finally got to watching Flight last night, and I love the way it made me think of fantasy. Mostly because most of my teams make me want to go on one of those Denzel benders. But seriously, I loved the tie in of flight or flight. The majority of owners with bad teams flight it away and don’t check their teams, however some of us fight it out, invert the plane and try to save our dignity. As much as I tried to skirt past with the lies and manipulation (“my team sucks because everyone got hurt!”), I finally fessed up, got a lot of courage and purported “I drafted bad, I managed bad week one, I managed bad week two, I’m managing bad now!” And with a little bit of good fortune and waiver wire moves, I turned a 14-teamer where I drafted in order (and this is no joke) Ray Rice, Stephen Jackson, Randall Cobb, Marques Colston, Ryan Mathews, Daryl Richardson, T.Y. Hilton (that one worked!), Kenbrell Thompkins and Michael Vick into an actual playoff contending team. None of those guys I was particularly high on – just how the draft played out – and through a series of moves and pickups I’m 4-6 and a game out of the playoffs. Fight! This is a pivotal week for me and I’m sure a lot of teams in Razzball Nation as we start getting into the playoff push crunch time.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Both Calvin Johnson and A.J. Green are in tough matchups this week, but you’re going to play them anyway. Why? They’re just too talented to bench. Baltimore is incredibly good at protecting against the run, but that won’t stop you from starting Matt Forte will it? Probably not. There are just some players you have to start regardless of their matchup, but that list is pretty short, so here are some players that aren’t on that list.
Steven Jackson has so much potential! After a decent performance in New Orleans week 1, Jackson has been a huge disappointment ever since, thanks to his injury. There are better scenarios ahead, but against a surprisingly decent Tampa Bay run defense, you shouldn’t expect much from him this week. Consider him a low end flex play until next week…when the Saints come marching in.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m gonna take you back. Way, way back into the distant past…woah, too far! You’re wearing white flared pants and a white fitted imprinted jacket? And you’ve slicked your hair back…ok, ok, I get it. I’m quoting a disco song and you’re doing your best Travolta impersonation. Next time would you let me finish? You’ve made both of us look silly…well, mostly you but still, back to the point. What I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by your Saturday Night Fever was let’s go back into the distant past of August 2013. Can you picture it? Summer was still around but we knew football was right around the corner and you were planning for your drafts. Everyone knew Megatron was the belle of the wide receiver ball but who was gonna be the second best behind him? Would it be Brandon Marshall? Some said yes. AJ Green? Possibly. Well, many selected Dez Bryant as the #2 receiver according to rankings. And because you’re gonna ask, here. I had him as 4th best but in a tier of 3 other peers. How’s THAT for hedging. In either case, things haven’t been going so well for the highly touted Dez of late. Against a creampuff matchup with the Vikings, Dez totaled a measly 6 for 64 in week 9 and followed it up with an even worse 1/44 in week 10. And to top it all off? He’s gonna drop a goose egg this weekend on his owners. Mark. It. Down…yeah, he’s on bye. Notice how ‘bye week’ sounds a lot like ‘buy week’? Mmm-hmmm. Scuffling and on an offense that’s not been grooving of late and now on a bye, owners might forget why they spent that high of a price tag on him and let him slip for a bit less than he’s worth. VJax for Dez you say? Sure, I’ll sell. Jordy for Dez? Yeah, I’m in. All this to say, he’s had a few clunkers and hasn’t gone on a tear like he did last year to finish the season but who knows? Maybe he’s got a monster 6 week stretch ahead of him after the bye. At worst, he’s a top end product that’s produced bottom shelf results. If you can get him for less than he’s worth, it’s worth it. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ohhhhhh man. Another week and another 6 teams on bye. That makes 20% of players gone. So it’s kinda like Tehol’s weekly Writer’s League lineup.
Luckily my one really bad team was the only one hit with terrible byes last week, but this week… Man… Lots of tough cookies. Guru is already talking smack because my 8-0 boys have James Starks at RB Eddie Royal in there in my flex. Spoiler alert! Neither are recommendations below. Slim Pickens on the wire. Plus ally of the JB world Justin Blackmon went on a Jessie Pinkman bender. It’s all coming to an end. But I must maintain the faith, visualize a redonkulous upset, and hope my path to perfection stays true.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Avant was the second best receiver for Philadelphia with 54 receiving yards, but as soon as Vick came out of the game, I knew it was curtains for my run of great sleeper picks. That just means it’s time to start a new one! Keep reading to find out who it will be.
After missing the last two weeks, it seems as though DeMarco Murray is ready for action once again and he’s in a fantastic matchup to kick things off. Since it sounds like the Cowboys were playing it safe with Murray this past weekend by keeping him off the field for an extra week, expect big things from him once again.
Chris Johnson is also in a great matchup this week. In fact, with a bunch of easy matchups for the rest of the season, Johnson might actually be someone you want to target in a trade. Don’t sell the farm to get him, but if he’s already on your team, he’s a must start this week.Please, blog, may I have some more?
There was a lot of buzz about the Chicago Bears offense heading into the season. B-Marsh was gonna have a great year and Alshon was going to improve upon a decent but unhealthy rookie campaign. Cutler was going to have his most productive QB year yet. And underneath it all, Matt Forte was just kinda there. Sure, much of the offense was tailored to a guy like Forte but in most rankings, Forte wasn’t cracking the top 5 running backs. I’m not just talking for myself here – I put him 14th in PPR for RBs…you can berate me in the comments -he was getting treated like what he has been in most seasons coming into 2013. A low touchdown back who had strong PPR value and would gain you over 1000 yards on the ground. Nothing to go crazy over by any means. But clearly the value-flip has switched. After today’s effort of 19/91/3 to go with 2/18 through the air, Forte is pacing out to be a guy that’ll clear 1700 yards on the year to go with 13 touchdowns and a whopping 80 receptions. I doubt the reception numbers on many levels but if he finishes in the 60 range, color me not surprised. He’s been a bit of an unsung RB hero this year in a draft full of disappointments and here’s me standing up and saluting Matt and his efforts. Let’s hope he doesn’t have to do it much with McCown moving forward. In other news from week 7 for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
We might as well just call all weekly rankings ‘play whoever you own against the Jacksonville Jaguars’. Yes, I’d start Mike Glennon against them at this point. Maybe even Ryan Fitzpatrick. That’s how dirty it is in Jagsville. But the reality is, Ryan Mathews had himself a fine day on MNF, gaining over 100 yards as the Chargers ran the clock down against a surprisingly inept Colts offense. Though he didn’t find the end zone, I can’t see how the Chargers don’t take advantage of both him and Woodhead as they control the game. Sure, it might become a bit of a shootout – I trust the Chargers defense about as much as any hollywood gossip mag at the checkout counter. Tori Spelling’s face is melting off due to too much surgery and thus has moved to Minnesota for the cooler climate? Ok, not likely but if that keeps her out of future movies, I could think of worse things. Eh, where was I? Oh yeah, start all your Chargers and enjoy it while you do it. Actually, there are a lot of great matchups this week for guys that are sometimes fringe starters. Alshon Jeffery looks primed for a good day against that Redskins secondary and while Jordy battle Haden, I think James Jones has himself a mighty fine day as a great secondary option for Rodgers. Josh Freeman is being given one of the worst secondaries and I think he takes full advantage. If Jerome Simpson is still floating around out there, it’d be a good week to pick him up in my book. Important notes to note: if Roddy White is a no go, you’re gonna want your Harry D in the lineup for volume reasons and it makes Toilolo an intriguing add in deep leagues. Outside of that, Jordan Reed is quietly sitting just ahead of Rudolph. I like both having a shot at big weeks if you’re stuck with muck at TE or a Jimmy Graham bye week. And with that, let’s kick the jabba to the curb and see what we got. Here’s our week 7 rankings for the 2013 Fantasy Football season…Please, blog, may I have some more?