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Why Razzball? Why you ask. If I really need to answer that question then I think you are in the wrong place. Perhaps you meant to visit espn.com where you could fill up on shitty advice from some overpaid, over hyped ding dong. I’ve been trying to figure a way to work “ding dong” into a post all season. Check that one off the list. But while I have your divided attention, I’ll answer it anyway. Is “undivided” attention actually a thing anymore. Heck I’m barely paying attention as I write this post. So you’ll have to forgive my randomness.

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When I discovered that Brandon LaFell’s nickname was “JoJo,” I immediately went to YouTube and looked up one of my favorite songs to sing at karaoke. It’s a song that describes owning LaFell in fantasy football. You see… Lately is about a guy that thinks his girl is cheating on him. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it but it’s impossible not to. The signs are smacking him right in the face. At some point, he needs to deal with it and move on.

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jsteww1315

Technically, it’s “Newton’s law of universal gravitation”, but let’s not cut hairs here when it comes to aesthetically pleasing titles. I’m into that whole brevity thing, man. But like Newton’s law — that two bodies in the Universe attract each other with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them, or, like how Paula Abdul explained while singing with a cartoon cat, that opposites attract, Cam Newton has been able to work with what is probably the most underwhelming receiving depth in the league. Not counting the Browns. (You never count the Browns.) I mean, Ted Ginn Jr. is a starter. THIS IS CRAZY. With last night’s win against the hapless Saints, the Panthers are now 12-0 and the only undefeated team remaining. Or, if you live in Carolina, they are now the only undefeated team with a 11-1 record. Regardless, no matter what unfolds the next month, at this point, it looks like the Panthers are set to make their run to the Super Bowl, where they’ll likely face off against the not-Bengals…

Here’s what else I saw during Week 13’s Sunday games…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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Alright, we get it. Everyone is going to win this week because everyone’s lucky number is 13. Enough! Something very interesting happened Monday Night on DraftKings last week. Something that defines how Fantasy Football is such a fickle mistress. The setting? DraftKings’ $600k Blitz. Per RotoGrinders.com-

This one came down to the very last play. “GregieC03” was sitting pretty and looking as if he would lock up the six-figure payday if Cleveland could make the game-winning field goal. Instead, the Ravens blocked the kick and returned it for a TD which catapulted underjones from out of the top five into the lead by the slimmest (.20) of margins. “Underjones” would also take fourth place and win a live final seat to cap off a great weekend for him.

Final Standings:

1. underjones 217.84, $100,000
2. GregieC03 217.64, $50,000
3. FitnessKING613 214.34, $25,000
4. underjones 212.4, $15,000
5. Josh677 211.5, $10,000

At this point you have to laugh and just settle for $50k. I know, what a settle.

Week 12 was a bad week for the chalk WR’s. Players such as Julio JonesDeAndre Hopkins, and Antonio Brown all scored below 10 points, which absolutely destroyed a ton of people’s tournament lineups, as D-Hop was owned by 52.9% owned in Fanduel’s Week 13 Sunday Million. Let’s review the rest of Week 12….

Join myself, Jay, and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-5 finishers in a 22-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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As we now enter the post-Thanksgiving Football phase (or in Boston, the “post-BAWHSTON WAS RAWHBED FROM UNDEFEATED HISTORY!”), it’s hard to understand how we’re already on the doorsteps of Week 13 and how someone can gain five pounds in one four-day Holiday period. The answer to both is bourbon, but regardless, the point remains: Alcohol! AND, wow, this season has gone by fast. (With a lot of injuries.) That being said, I do want to take this time on your Monday, to thank everyone for being a part of the site. I could have wrote this Thursday, or Friday, or I guess any day up until now, but, well, you know. Alcohol! And while my Chargers are charging (see what I did there?) to a first overall pick in next year’s draft, I guess, in this time of thanks, we should all thank the game of Football. As usual, the wonderful sport continues to provide us reasons to kill our liver, protect women and couches with guns on them, and Will Smith (bonus foreign accent!) movies about concussions. I truly despise this game that I love. An amazing journey we take here if you ask me! Or a masochistic one? Nah… that’s what Fantasy Football is for.

Here’s what else I saw in Week 12’s Sunday Games…

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To be honest, I really don’t care much for Thanksgiving. After so many years it has become more of a chore than joy. Who gives a sh*t about the food? I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want anyway. Cramming twenty or so people into an average-sized house is not my definition of fun. Other people’s kids annoy me. Especially when they threaten to impede best part of the day. Football. Cries of I WANNA watch [insert bullsh*t kids show]” by a whiney brat annoy me about as much as when someone somewhat related to me that I could really care less about sits down next to me and tries to tell me about what’s gone on in his life since last year when he tried the same thing. But I digress.

Other than a last name that gave me a fitting title, Chris Givens has no business being mentioned in this post. But since he’s unknowingly done me a solid, I’ll give him his 30 seconds of “fame”. After three games with St. Louis where he had 1 reception for 7 yards, Givens was traded to the Ravens. Since moving to Baltimore he’s had 12 catches on 24 targets (50%) for 168 yards and a touchdown. I think Antonio Brown topped those number last week alone. Have no “misgivens” about it, if you own this guy, you’re bad at fantasy football.

This week I’m giving The Stats Machine a well deserved opportunity to rest its bits and bytes. It takes a lot of 1’s and 0’s to fuel its core and with the playoff push in the near horizon, I thought it was the right time to recharge its light cycles. So instead of analyzing last week’s performances, I am going to use this space to highlight some stats leaders…

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Patriotfan

If you tuned into last night’s Monday Night Football like I did, I’m sure there were some things that crossed your mind. First one: I’m fairly certain that drafting Sammy Watkins might have been in error. I mean, why trade multiple picks (1st, and two 4th’s) for a receiver that spends more time on the back of a 60’s milk carton? Second, I’m sure many wondered if a 0-0 score would be an insurmountable lead for the Bills… I thought it was a fairly close call, but the Bills did scrounge 13 points in a resoundingly ugly fashion. In what is turning into a theme, the weekday games (both Monday and Thursday) have offered nothing this year in terms of football. Football-like? Quite possibly, but we’re not getting 100% organic entertainment here. Something-something-Eddie Lacy is fat. Rex Ryan always seems to have a penchant for driving the Patriots nuts and did so again last night, but never quite gets over the hump, just like last night. Also, his hump is named Rob Ryan. Regardless, it was an essentially boring game up until the third quarter’s upgrade to semi-interesting, then quickly downgraded to “where’s my effing bourbon”. Such is the ways of Monday Night…

Because of the Thanksgiving Holiday, Rankings (both this week and rest of season) will be released Wednesday morning.

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It takes a lot to beat an opponent. Beating many? Even harder. No, we’re not talking hundreds or thousands of competitors, but when faced with the task of topping dozens of potential victors decision-making becomes all the more crucial. Luck drops so that wisdom can rise. There’s a proper description for that, but rather than write it out I thought I’d let ol’ President Dubya narrow it down to one word.

Eeeexactly. Strategery. And you’ll need a lot of it to win a 55-man league in DFS. Listen, fantasy football is filled with luck. In my completely uneducated opinion thrown about all willy-nilly, I’d presume around 54% of fantasy football is luck. However, there’s a reason that the same people continually compete in your leagues and rake in stacks through daily fantasy. Ingenuity. Resourcefulness. Persistence. Which, once again, is encompassed by the word: strategery (quit trying to auto-correct my spelling, damn it!).

Each week we offer a 55-man Razzball only FanDuel Contest that pays out the top-12 finishers. Think you’re good enough to operate beyond just luck and work your way to the prize? Then put your money where your fingertips are and enter the $5 Contest for Week 11!

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Peytonsulk

History has been made. If you watched yesterday’s game between the Chiefs and Broncos, you saw Peyton Manning achieve an amazing feat, one that could only be done in a robust and tenured career. That’s right folks. There hasn’t been a quarterback in the modern era that has done what Manning did. And that’s throw for five or less completions with at least four interceptions and less that 40 yards, something that hasn’t occurred since 1977, and he’s only the sixth quarterback to ever hold this prestigious monument to futility. Oh, and he also broke the all-time passing yards record held by Brett Favre. The man is a true record breaker folks. To be fair, Gary Kubiak, post-game, stated his regret in starting Manning due to major foot and rib injuries, leaving me to believe that Gary Kubiak is a pretty bad football coach, but we already knew that. No matter what it was, Manning has had a truly great career, probably the best quarterback in the history of the NFL. But instead of remembering the game for a truly remarkable moment, we’ll be remembering the game for a truly remarkable moment. Peyton Manning was benched in favor of Brock Osweiler… I honestly can’t see how this can get any worse. Oh, what’s that, Tim Tebow is still alive? This is gonna be good

Here’s what else I saw during Week 10’s Sunday games…

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It’s not easy finishing ahead of 54 others, especially in Fantasy Football. But like Jeremy Langford against a suspect Chargers defense, you emerged. Let’s see if you can do it again in Week 10, because I’m not hedging my bets on a repeat for Langford vs. the Rams. Speaking of which, you can join Jay and Razzball’s general FanDuel strategist, Zach, along with your fellow readers in this special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in this 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here! Regardless, here are some smart plays for the Razzball Week 10 contest…

Please, blog, may I have some more?