Along with the two sophomore quarterbacks that are sparking a lot of Fantasy Football interest, there were a few free-agent moves that are going to shake things up as we build our rosters in August.  We have a few new veteran receivers in this division and a veteran name at running back that’s going to make the Philadelphia backfield situation confusing.  Also, there’s a rookie running back in Washington who is looking to take a chunk out of the backfield work.  I’m going to quit burying the lead and get the damn thing started.

Before we get into the NFC East, I want to take a paragraph and congratulate Jay, Grey, and Rudy for their Top-3 (TOP EFFING THREE!) finish in Fantasy Football draft rankings for FantasyPros last season.  These guys have been at it for years making Razzball not only one of the best fantasy baseball sites, but also one of the best fantasy football sites.  Keep telling your friends about us, the results from our content speaks volumes when you see stuff like this.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2017 Rankings: Top 200 (Standard, Half-PPR, PPR) | QBRB (Standard, Half-PPR, PPR) | WR (Standard, Half-PPR, PPR) | TE (Standard, Half-PPR, PPR) | K | DST

IDP Rankings: Top 100 | DL | LB | DB

Dynasty Rankings: Top 150 | QB | RB | WR | TE | Top-50 Rookies

2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112

Even though I’m not one to pat myself on the back (actually, I am), Razzball has been on an upward curve, bringing some sort of conglomerate synergistic metamorphosis (as they say in the corporate world), providing you an ever-improving ranking accuracy year after year. How do we do it? No clue. It could be dark wizardry. It could be indigestion. It could even be your mother. But I have to admit, this year is going to be daunting, if only because the expectations we’ve placed on ourselves here at Razzball Football are at an all time high (just like my college years). Going from 31st overall to 22nd in Weekly Fantasy Football accuracy is one thing. But going from 22nd to the top-10 in the entire nation last season is quite another. And then on top of that, to finish third overall in our Draft Rankings last year… well, it’d be folly to try and say “Yes, we’re going to try even more, (more better if you believe in remedial English)”, but yeah, I’m going to say it… We’re going to do more better. (My English teacher just placed a bounty on me.) With that said, and my parentheses key broken, here are your 2017 Fantasy Football Tight End (Standard, Half-PPR, PPR) Rankings

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Granted, there are many times when the lede’s topic is about the Sunday Night Football game, but sometimes I like to shake things up a bit. If only because there some really annoying things about it, ranging from Cris Collinsworth not taking a vacation in Syria, to the lazy, league approved narratives for everything, all the way to being reminded that NBC’s dramas are still being made. So sometimes, I just need a breather, ya know? And plus, if there’s an opportunity to make fun of the a Jeff Fisher led team, you know I’m going to take it, no questions asked. If you’re new to the site, I’ll give you a brief synopsis of my own personal feelings towards Fisher. You know how the words “winless” and “undefeated” exist? There should be a word for “being two games under .500”, and I think that word should be: JeffFisher. Here, let’s put it in a sentence: “People keep saying that Todd Gurley is regressing to the JeffFisher, but I really just think it’s because the offense is sh*t.” And now we have the first career game from Jared Goff, and it looked about as bad as we were expecting. And I gotta tell you, I lived in Los Angeles for almost five years… this is not the best way to grow a fan base. Not only is Fisher challenging the patience of Rams fans, but also men’s hair fashions. And also my ability to come up with a third thing, but I think you get the point…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

gettyimages-460737450

Hello everyone and welcome to “Please Tell Me When It’s Safe to Go Outside”, Razzball’s new weekly piece where we wonder what the hell is going on, and debate whether or not we should venture into the terrifying outdoors to see what hellscape awaits us. This week, we will discuss fun activities you can do in your home/security bunker, such as knitting, or fashioning ammunition out of various metal objects you may have laying around *answers call from Jay* I’m being told that this will instead be another installment of Deep Impact, and also that things are pretty much the same as they were last week. For now, at least, it is still safe to go outside, but why do that when instead you can distract yourself from the horrifying state of our current political system by playing fantasy football! As we do every week, we’re looking at less than 10% owned players in the Yahoo game to scrounge for starts, and for once I actually held myself to my own threshold. Be proud of me, everyone!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Look people, you try to make a pun out of “Ark”… Regardless, it appears that the top AFC teams coming out of the halfway point in the 2016 season are the usual New England Patriots and the… Oakland Raiders…? I honestly wish I knew why this was happening. I… I think the sun is starting to set on where I live, and I mean that in the most figurative way possible, because, you know, daylight savings time. But this is indeed a strange world we live in. The Oakland Raiders, led by the one Carr brother that’s actually not bad, Amari Cooper, and Latavius “I’ll always be 3/4 of an elite back” Murray, have managed to find themselves in first place in the AFC West with an impressive 5-0 record on the road. Because honestly, the only things that do well in Oakland are bails bondsman, and, you know, gentrification. Progress I guess. But wouldn’t it be great if the Raiders could be added that list? As a totally-not-biased-at-all-trust-me Chargers fan (and I’m throwing up a little in my mouth right now typing this), but it’s a shame that the Raiders have a solid chance to have a pretty great year, and it’s being overshadowed with rumors of the team possibly moving. And we’re talking about a post-Los Angeles not being able to be used as leverage timeline that we’re in, and Mark Davis is still able to do this. Maybe they’ll move to a magical place… called Houston. I don’t think there’s a team there… Listen, my life receives no benefit for suggesting such a radical idea as rooting about a specific aspect for a franchise that, at times, was the black eye (literally too!) of the league, but I did it anyways. A Chargers fan speaking kindly of the Raiders? Truly, the end is nigh.

Here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s Week 9 Sunday games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

920x920

Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of Deep Impact! Before jumping into the football let me begin this by saying: Cubs? Cubs. Cubs! You don’t need to be a diehard baseball fan to appreciate how amazing that Game 7 was, even if you take away the history of each franchise. And when you add in breaking the 108-year drought? Man, just thinking about all those 90-year-olds in Chicago-area nursing homes who had the sweetest, most joyous celebratory sex of their lives that night, it makes me want to vomit. But, you know, in a happy and heartwarming way. Anyways, back to the regularly scheduled fantasy football. For those of you who are unfamiliar, this is our weekly dive into the free agent pool scrounging for players less than 10% owned for deep leaguers desperate for Week 9 starts. In keeping with my weekly tradition, I will break my own defined threshold because I am a rebel who cannot be constrained by the rules of society. Unless there are any real consequences for breaking the rules, in which case I tend to just be a good boy and fall in line.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While many of us wondered why we would ever watch a Colts and Texans Oilers (their momma named ’em the Oilers, so I’m going to call ’em the Oilers) Sunday Night Football game, you have to remember that we all make bad life decisions. I mean, what’s the NLCS anyways? Is that like the LGBT or something? But hey, sometimes the games that you give zero efs about with no one to cheer for turn out great. This was not one of those times, at least not until the fourth quarter where we suddenly found ourselves in overtime (where I immediately said to myself: “sh*t, we’re in overtime”). Since the Texans Oilers aren’t a real team, it probably made a lot of sense there was a fairytale ending (thanks in large part to that amazing catch by Jaelen Strong shown above). On top of that, you might wonder why we’re talking about the Texans Oilers, and I’d like to use it as a fantasy football segue… Week 6 is behind us and at this point, and you should know where you are in the great and very metaphorical fantasy football landscape. Much like how the Texans Oilers, now at 4-2, know that they are a team that is in the hunt for the playoffs, they could use a little bit more help from certain players, and a little bit luck to make their push. I’d like to think that describes a majority of fantasy teams out there right now, minus the whole Brock Osweiler thing. What I’m saying here might even describe fantasy teams that find themselves atop their respective leagues, but unfortunately, probably not the teams that find themselves at the bottom with an 0-6 record. Coming back from such a deficit may not be worth thinking about, so in times like this when you are way behind (something I’m quite familiar with… something we all are), my recommendation is to drink up. I mean, don’t drink too much… motionless and face down is not how I want to see anybody. (There’s a great Bill Cosby joke around here somewhere, but I’ll settle for: I’ll take “Things Darren Sharper has never said” for $1,000 Alex.) But if you’re one of the teams lagging a bit behind, let’s say you are 1-5 or 2-4, and desperate hope combined with dark wizardry are the only vehicles driving your will to play until another fantasy obsession distracts you (granted, Texans Oilers games are technically considered torture porn, if that’s your thing), well, now is the time to do wild stuff. Do some crazy trades, make some risky decisions, just let all your inhibitions go. True, this might be like buying an extra bottle of Centrum Silver to help fight stage four lung cancer, but… you’ve got nothing to lose. And for those of you are in the middle of all this mess? Well then, that’s why Razzball is here. Oh, and if you’re a Colts or Texans Oilers fan, I’d appreciate it if you found some different teams to like…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

PITTSBURGH, PA - SEPTEMBER 28: Mike Evans #13 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looks on during the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers on September 28, 2014 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images)

Fantasy Football sucks. Let’s be real, it’s very, very frustrating.

Things don’t go our way. Remember the Giants-Saints game that was supposed to be a 100-point shootout. Big shoutout to those guys that thought THAT would happen (I thought that would happen).

But as corny as it sounds, Fantasy Football is a marathon, not a sprint. Over the course of 16 weeks, there are 16 Tuesday night’s to win your league at the Waiver Wire. Overspending on Fozzy Whittaker sucks, but it should kill you. There are other weeks to make it up. There are 16 opportunities to make the right call on gameday. Benching C.J. Anderson Week 1 against Carolina won’t and shouldn’t kill your league.

It is best not to get too down when we make a bad decision, and to not get our own biases in the way. Certain players are frustrating to watch on Sunday’s (I’m looking at you Amari Cooper), but like I mentioned five seconds ago, it is a process, and it only takes a few weeks for a certain player to get going and make ourselves pat ourselves on the back for choosing him over the other options.

Through the first four weeks of the NFL season, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have certainly been frustrating, as many (including myself) would have thought their record would have certainly been a little bit better than 1-3.

However, this is a week for the Bucs that will define their year, a very important road division game that will put an emphasis on a win if they were to achieve it. And in order for Tampa Bay to win, it will have to go through their wide receiver, Michael Lynn Evans III (SIDE NOTE: What a weird middle name!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

trey-burton

Welcome back everybody to this week’s edition of “Derp Imprints”, our recurring series at Razzball where we take a look at our favorite merchandise with Eli Manning’s dopey face printed on it. First, let’s gaze into Eli’s post-interception eyes on a nice t-shirt… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this will instead by another installment of Deep Impact, and also that I shouldn’t make fun of Eli since he can’t help the fact that he looks like that. For those of you who haven’t been following along, well why haven’t you been following along? Are you too good to read some fantasy advice?? How’d you wind up on this site to begin with then? Well while you’re here, might as well check out these recommendations for deep league starts and stashes that are less than 10% owned in Yahoo. Or, click the banner link to find out more about Marie Callender’s pot pies, if that’s something you would rather do with your free time. But before we jump into names, allow me to share a brief story that I promise is relevant to this week’s article.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

celek-smith-e1388334451260

Welcome back everybody to this week’s edition of “Deep Implants”, our recurring series here at Razzball discussing the history of American spies planted overseas during war. This week, we’ll take a look at the exploits of Edward Bancroft, a Massachusetts-born scholar who was a key provider of intelligence from London to Ben Franklin during the Revolutionary War. Before diving into his espionage, let’s start with his studies that showed eels use electricity to capture their prey… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this is actually another installment of Deep Impact, and also that BANCROFT WAS A DOUBLE AGENT THE WHOLE TIME! NO, BEN FRANKLIN, STOP GIVING THIS MAN INFORMATION!!! As a refresher for those of you who missed the first regular season piece in this series, this is for fantasy football players who like to hang out in the deep end. Metaphorically speaking, of course; I don’t go into the actual deep end as I’m not a strong swimmer and the kids are really judgmental these days. Floaties are for adults too, dammit!

Please, blog, may I have some more?