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Order.  ORDER IN THE COURTROOM!  The Law Firm of BenJarvus Green-Ellis, here unto and forthwith known as the plodding plaintiff, is charging Giovani Bernard – who will from henceforth be known as the electric defendant – as a younger, more versatile player with the intent of taking away the starting role of running back on the Cincinnati Bengals.  This heinous crime leaves fantasy owners in a state of limbo as to who to draft for the Bengals at running back and will lead to a year of anguish for them whoever drafts either guy.  How do you plead, electric defendant?  Guilty as charged, your honor.  Wow, didn’t realize my years of watching Law & Order reruns would help me write an intro paragraph about a running back by committee shituation…or did it?  That decision might have to be taken to Civil court to find out but the reason we are talking Gio and BJGE is due to what offensive coordinator Jay Gruden said.  And I quote ‘He’s a three-down back…who upgrades the Cincinnati passing game with an exciting sizzle.’  I don’t think I’ve seen ‘sizzle’ used in a sentence like that in a long while.  Is that word making a comeback or was he speaking Snoop?  In either case, you gotta read between the lines with this type of stuff.  Like grout in a bathroom stall covered with grout puns – ‘Sometimes a Grout Notion’ and ‘Grout Fishing’ are two of my faves – the message is clear: do not be drafting either guy too high.  To take this a little further, let’s see what BJGE did last year.  On 278 carries, The Law Firm had 1094 rushing yards and 6 touchdowns while chipping in 22 receptions for 104 yards.  The yards per carry there is 3.9 and the yards per reception are 4.7.  Ugh, belch, and flatulence with a side of hurl.  And yet, he finished as an RB2 by the end of the year in our Final Rankings.  The key thing to realize is there is that BJGE finished 19th and Shonn Greene finished 15th.  What does that teach us, children and grown adults who play this children’s game?  Exactly, having a starting role and guaranteed carries means you may finish the year higher than some other people but it doesn’t mean you actually want those players on your team.  And now with Gio in the mix, there’s  no way BJGE gets to carry the ball over 275 times.  So here’s my draft plan this year if I’m gonna be dipping my toes in the Bengals backfield.  I’m passing on BJGE and I’m picking up Gio, especially in PPR leagues.  By the end of the year, I think we see BenJarvus relegated to short down situations and Gio’s role expanding over that time frame.  It won’t be instant but I think we’ll see a sliding scale of 60/30/10 in terms of carry distribution where BJGE and Gio are the 60/30 to the opposite.  If you have the bench space to deal with that kind of headache, Gio’s your man.  We good?  Good, now I’ll stop banging my gavel.  Was that a euphemism?  Let’s hope not.  Play me off, Mike Post…psyche!  We’re back to remind you of Monday.  Yes, I know it’s been a while but couldja please take a look at our post about Marshawn Lynch?  And while you look at it, actually read it?  And by that I mean the very end where we’re asking for Razzball Fantasy Football Glossary help?  Yes, we’re turning our sad puppy dog eyes your way asking if you could chime in on some ideas.  It takes a village to raise a child and apparently an entire internet population to create a fantasy football glossary page.  So let us know what you’d call these fantasy football situations and we might, just might make you a superstar by posting you up here as the contributor for the idea.  Or we might steal it if we’re feeling frisky…nah, we’re not cats, we’ll give you full contribution rights.  Anywho, please do and we’ll see you Friday.

  1. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    when is the next podcast, its almost summer and i don’t like to read when it’s hot

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      As far as I know that was an off-season special. We’ll probably have another one sometime in mid-summer and then when the season kicks up again we’ll start with a weekly attack.

      BTW, you’re from California…so does that mean you only read like 3 months out of the year?

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: Yes I read only 3 months out of the year during the day, the rest of the time is night reading to put me to sleep which lasts about 4 minutes, I read in the dark, I love tablets because you can read in the dark and it makes me sleepy. Downside, it takes me about 9 months to get through a book. On the upside, the less I read the more ignorant I get to be and I get back to that blissful ignorance I so long to get back to. I have worked really hard to forget everything I ever learned in college.

        “off-season special”?, all podcasts are special. Especially this one being your world premiere. Sky is going international!

        Draft question: I have always done my draft the weekend before the season. I want to avoid any of those ridiculous pre-season injuries that happen in football and give people the best shot to have a healthy roster. Thoughts on that attitude?

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Ha! If you can’t beat them, bring them to your level. That’s what I always say.

          In redraft leagues, I’m totally down with that. In keepers, I always like the concept of being given a 3 or 4 week buffer. There’s so much knowledge that gets leaked over that month span of stuff the people ‘in the know’ already know, we lose the edge of the research done. Matt Ryan wasn’t getting talked about anywhere last year as a cheap option and then two weeks before the season, Yahoo boosts his ADP from about 80 to about 40 and writes about how he’s gonna have a huge year. Meanwhile, I was calling that shit back in May. So in redrafts I’m cool with it but keepers I’d like to think actually studying up a bit means something.

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: wait…what? I think your level is too high for me, slow down and KISS for me.

            i know in the re-draft I run that we have different levels of knowledge and”skill” so i like to keep it fair for the others. The beauty of football is that any schlub can win, now I’m not saying that it’s what I like, but unlike baseball, the weak will be eaten at some point, where in football someone can cruise through the season on an injury free hot streak and roll in to the playoffs having a good experience and a fun time. I don’t like making football too difficult, i want there to be free agents to pick up and give people some chance to win every week. I hated leagues where I’m stashing all these bye week players because the free agent pool is filled with tumbleweeds

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              I didn’t go over your head, I went under your butt.

              Oh on that front I totally agree. It’s why I don’t get too deep into keeper/dynasty football because even when you’re right you can be dead wrong based on the standings after a couple of bumps and bruises. And what’s right in May is wrong in June and is right again in August only to be wrong by week 3. It’s a rollercoaster for sure.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: I thought felt some wind on my nuts

                Glad to see we are on the same page, I want to make sure all of your accommodations are to your liking Mr. Sky. You playing in my IDP league is like waiting for guffman, or should i say waiting for skyman. I have a Remains of the Day lunchbox for you

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Ha!

                  Familiar with the names but haven’t seen either movie but either way…I’ll take a lunch box!

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: you have never seen waiting for guffman, well now you have homework to do, if i have glossary terms to work on then you have to see that. Next to spinal tap, it’s the best Christopher Guest movie. It might be on netflix, if not then figure out how to see it. Like now. stop this ridiculous conversation and go watch now.

                    I hope you like Christopher Guest movies

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Aye aye, I’ll let my boss know I have to go home for that reason. Spinal Tap is a classic. I’ll have to see Guffman now as well. Just watched Cabin In The Woods. It was awesome but I’m a horror fan so making fun of the genre I’m totally going to dig.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: if you need a doctors note for your boss, i can get that….I gotta guy.

                    Everyone likes Best in Show, but Guffman blows it out of the water, IMO.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Is he a proctologist?

                      Cool, I’ll have to look into it.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: he’s an analrapist

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      He just blue himself?

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I always leave red….literally

            • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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              @Jack Full of Hate: Yeah, football should be more fun. I really don’t like the idea of 16+ team leagues, but am trying one out. Such leagues will leave slim pickings on the wire and empty spots in starting lineups.

              I have Russell Wilson and Cassel at QB. When Wilson has his bye I will be screwed if Cassel is riding pine. Best QB available is somebody like Chase Daniel.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Wallpaper Paterson: I’m sorry, but leagues like that are just a waste of time. It’s too much work for such a little return.

                You are still down for IDP/PPR league? i’m counting on some fresh blood in there to mix it up. make it a razz friendly league

                • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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                  @Jack Full of Hate: Yeah, sign me up so long as the entry fee is $50 or less. If it is a free league that is even better.

                • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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                  @Jack Full of Hate: I have been going back and forth on this league for two months now. The entry fee is due this week. You are helping to convince me to pass on it. I could easily take the money I was to dole out to that league and use it to start my own league.

  2. Wallpaper Paterson says:
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    I let B. G-E go via restricted free agency in my 16-team salary cap dynasty league. This was before the draft. I figured somebody would be drafted to take over for him later this season.

    I took over as a replacement owner in late December. My team had just finished up a 6-7 season. I let several free agents leave. I did not sign any from other teams.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Yeah, I think if BJGE has any value it’ll be in short yardage/GL situations but I really hate drafting guys for that reason. You’re hoping for 40 yards and a TD and could easily end up with 14 yards and nothing. Hate guys like that…

  3. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    Had 4 starters going in one league tonight, whew, that is always hectic, but fortunately for me It turned out well

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Nice. I had both Anibal and J-Zimm going against each other tonight. Was just glad to get a win. And my first Heath Bell save

  4. kalone says:
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    Would you trade Mario Williams in a 16-team dynasty league for two second-rounders in a rookie draft? I also have Jared Allen and Quinton Coples.

    Normal IDP scoring, except we give 1.5-point bonus for tackles for loss, so a few rushing DEs score big some weeks.

    Still, I don’t have any picks this year and would like to add RB/WR depth.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I’d hit up our IDP guy. His article goes live tomorrow, he’ll give you the good word.

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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      @kalone: Yes, do that trade. Get the picks. Coples might outscore Williams anyway. Gonna be a rush linebacker on 3rd downs.

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