Andre the Giant showed up big this week and I don’t mean that in an ‘Andre the Giant is big’ pun sort of way. Andre Brown plays for the New York Giants. So ‘Andre the Giant’ is actually a preferred nomenclature and yes, that’s a Big Lebowski reference and yes that link is NSFW. Have you not watched ‘The Big Lebowski’ yet? Where have you been? Have you ever met a stranger in the Alps? But I digress, Andre had a super size me game for the Giants, going for 113 yards on 20 carries and 2 ground touchdowns, not to mention 3 catches for 17 yards for PPR enthusiasts. I got to watch most of the game after the 1st quarter and I have to admit, he looked good. Not Soul Glo good, but he passed the eye test. He looked hungry and ready to take on the challenge ahead. With all that I will say this: the Giants’ starting RB is still Ahmad Bradshaw but like magnets, starting RBs make me ask ‘how do they work?’. Brown looked like a starting RB for most NFL teams tonight but so did Jackie Battle for a few games last year. Simply put, I liked what I saw but I need to see more. For Bradshaw owners, you might have found a Frankenstein that actually runs hard which is not good for the value of your Bradshaw for this season. Overall, Bradshaw has proven brittle and his previous counterpart Brandon Jacobs thought himself a dancer. If Andre shows he can consistently be the powerback in that lineup, it’s hard to say if it will hurt or help Bradshaw. On the one hand, Ahmad loses goal line touches. On the other hand, Ahmad should gain ground in the PPR leagues. On the third hand…there is no third hand. What did you think, I’m a mutant? In other fantasy football news…
Ramses Barden – Chef Ramses showed up big for the Giants, slicing and dicing the Panthers secondary cooking up 9 passes for 138 yards on 10 targets while Hakeem Nicks was set to simmer. Was that enough culinary puns for you in one sentence? True story, I picked him up on two of my teams for tonight and was so busy answering questions I never actually got to put him in my line-up. Life of a fantasy football fanatic, #firstworldproblems. Nonetheless, I did mention him briefly in the off-season, saying he made the most sense to me as the WR3 in that offense and that he had a frame that reminded me of Plaxico. Well, I think the Giants just might have received a reminder of what they had. Of course, I think his night was more a product of…
Victor Cruz - Let’s face facts, the Panthers defense keyed in on him. On 8 targets he cobbled together 6 catches for 42 yards but this game was over by the half. Hard to fault him when the defense challenged Eli to throw it to someone else and like a good QB he did. If you’re worried after this game, look back at week 2 and smile. If you’re still worried, trade him to me and make me smile. Still the WR1 in that offense.
Cam Newton - More like ‘Cam Neutered!’ That was me re-using a headline from earlier in the night before Brown scored his second TD. Yes, you guys are my drawing board, I am merely giving you stick figures and occasionally drawing hoo-hoo dillies on them for my own amusement. I had him as my top QB this week and he didn’t disappoint…my haters. There was something in the air tonight and it wasn’t Phil Collins or an Eminem sample. Cam couldn’t figure out that the Giants defense was all pass-rush and no rush defense/pass defense and the Giants figured out early that Cam couldn’t get that. I had my Alanis Morrisette moment for the night. You live and you learn. Isn’t it ironic? No, actually it’s coincidence…WTH Alanis? I spent my youth trying to get my shizz straight on that.
Martellus Bennett – I swear the Giants only signed him expecting to see Tony Bennett puns in the NY headlines and lucked themselves into a good TE. If he had signed in SF he would’ve had the 49er’s playing ‘I Left My Heart in San Fransisco’. But the Giants lucked out and flew themselves to the moon nabbing Bennett who went for 6 receptions for 73 yards and a TD, proving that I was completely wrong about him coming into the season. Three games in, I yield. He’s a top 10 TE and I have no defense against him otherwise. Even without the TDs, he’s got my world on a string.
Greg Olsen - The night of the awesome tight ends continues and we didn’t even need a sexual reference to make that statement true. Olsen had himself a TD’less night but for PPR leagues that started him, it was still fruitful, going for 7 receptions for 98 yards. He was probably the most exciting thing for Panther fans tonight unless they went home and watched a documentary about Huey Newton and Bobby Seale. And that was my Dennis Miller impersonation for the day. Good night everybody!
DeAngelo Williams - Looked good when he ran the ball. He only ran it 11 times. That’s what happens when your team stops Cruz but can’t stop Barden or Bennett. Speaking as someone who saw him run tonight, he was primed for a good night, game permitting. Permit denied, coming back in a week and a half for a chance at renewal.
Eli Manning – Had a good ‘real quarterback’ night. But of course you came for fantasy eval and that critique reads as this: Curse you Manning! He was alright, nabbing about 15 point fantasy points and not trying to top his brother by chucking 3 INT int he first quarter. It was a clean but boring night from him. Why am I talking about him again? Oh right, quarterbacks make the world go round.