Well, Thursday Night the New York Giants called their primary physician to see what their status was. They’re PP – I’m not touching this joke with a ten foot pole…the joke is a Giant’s PP…maybe you shouldn’t touch it either; might be infected – decided that because it was the NFC East that maybe they could just take another penicillin shot. I don’t care how much penicillin you take at this point, the problem still exists. Tom Coughlin has been a great coach. Well, ok, a good, so-so, ok great coach. But now you’re gonna talk to me about Super Bowl rings as your shining note, arncha? Well, here’s some math that might calm your nerves. One of these coaches has a record of 83-67 since 2004 since the 2004 season. The other, an 84 and 64 record since the same season. Both have 3 NFC East titles at this point in history. So what’s the difference? Super Bowls. Mainly, two of them. Tom Coughlin and his Giants can hang their hat on 2 SB rings while Andy Reid and the Eagles have none. Yet only one team has moved on from it’s coach. Fair? Given the 0-6 start to the Giants, it doesn’t matter whether it’s fair. What matter is, ‘what Giants are retainable vs trade-worthy’ and at this point, I’m considering all the receivers as buy lows. The defense is stopping nothing at this point, no reason to think the wide outs can’t benefit on some level. The RBs? Ehhhhh, not interested until Andre’s back. The QB? That…that is a question wrapped within an enigma trapped inside a riddle and folded up inside a used baby diaper. It was a night only an 0-6 team could muster and I’m pretty sure Tom Coughlin’s gonna be the scapegoat when this mess of a season is finally over. Is he partially to blame? Sure, his treatment of David Wilson was extremely poor given his other choices behind him. You don’t play mind games with your lead running back when he’s backed up by a guy nicknamed ‘Frankenstein’ but Coughlin isn’t the only problem in New York for this extremely overdone season. In other news from TNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…
Eli Manning – After another mediocre start (239/1/3), this brother Manning is on pace for over 45 interceptions. And when it was all said and done, his pick-6 near the beginning of the game was pretty much the decider. This book of Eli is starting to look like it was written with coloring crayons.
Brandon Marshall – What is there to say? 9/87/2 while he wore stylish neon green shoes which he’ll probably draw a fine for. Brandon doesn’t care, folks. He’d just prefer to focus on being awesome.
Jay Cutler – Though the numbers were good as Jay went for 262/2/0 and rushed for 20, it wasn’t quite the breakout party most were hoping for. I blame TNF and Cutler’s overall state of mind. All that said, Jay’s been hovering around the top 15 QBs most of the season and I’m pretty sure that trend is here to stay. Of course, so are his random 3 INT games so take this all for what you will.
Matt Forte – Underwhelming night for a guy who was facing one of the poorer defenses against the run. Despite that, he managed to gain over 100 total yards (67 on the ground and 6/44 through the air). It wasn’t the strongest game so I can’t yet bust out his ‘Matt Fuerte’ nickname just yet.
Martellus Bennett – The Black Unicorn looked as sleek and shiny as his nickname attests to, finishing with a 6/68 line. I swear every throw to him should’ve only gone for 5 yards but he’d shed an ankle tackle and double it. I’m still liking him ROS as a top 15 TE at this point and as a Top 3 Nicknames player.
Rueben Randle – Ran the wrong route to create an INT and then got saved by the refs later in the game by a fumble ‘no it’s not a fumble’ play. He mucked through all this to be the most productive wideout for the Giants on the night (3/75/1). There’s your Fantasy season in a nutshell, Hakeem Nicks owners. No, there’s no restart button. If there was, I’d have already pushed it.
Brandon Jacobs – I have no words for how bad the Bears defense looked which made Jacobs look downright beastly. His end line – 22/106/2 – will not point out that his old moniker of Frankenstein is more fitting than ever. Though he did run with some aggression that we haven’t seen in a while from him, if someone’s been tricked into buying, take advantage. He still looks like random parts of dead flesh sewn together to be put into the Giants backfield because they have no one else.
Alshon Jeffery – After a breakout party of sorts last week, Alshine light went dim with a 1/27 effort on 5 targets. Given how many passes were just overthrown or just off his fingertips, I’m still buying into the Bears having one more wide out who’s not named Earl Bennett. But until then, we need the obligatory Brady reference to end this: MARSHALL, MARSHALL, MARSHALL!