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Sorry everyone, I know you normally get to see my purty rankings on Thursday morning but I decided – since I’m my own boss – to give myself an all-expense paid trip to my own house for Christmas dinner and time with my family and then a round trip ticket to the liquor store for some Islay so I could put my new whiskey stones to good use.  I charged it all to the business card, of course, so as to get the tax write off.  Mainly the reason you didn’t see me on Thursday morning is my round trip took longer than I expected seeing as I got home and had one glass, and then two glasses, and then three glasses and then I do believe I was mambo’ing with Uncle Ernie as he was wearing his adorable fedora – or lampshade, can’t remember – in the garage to a Bruce Springsteen mixed tape he had lying around.  Seriously, folks, you can mambo to anything if you put your sloshed mind to it.  But all this to say, I didn’t forget you but for a little while and in the interim we were visited by little Razzball Elves like Josh Carey, Zorboss and The Guru.  Forget the three wisemen, check out those three wiseasses if you ask me.  I don’t wanna talk about the Jolly Saint Prick.  His name speaks for itself.  Pretty sure he came down my chimney and stole my dvd player and some paper plates on Xmas…nevermind all that, you’re here for rankings.  So what we have here is a failure to enunciate.  I’m not actually feeling up Joseph Fauria in my title; sorry to ruin that mental image for you, lady readers.  No, no, no.  Say ‘you’ and ‘Fauria’ together really fast.  If you wanna learn, follow these guidelines.  I’m saying ‘euphoria’.  Don’t you get it?  Are you we Todd it?  Whatever, with no Pettigrew, Fauria should be able to step in and produce against the same team I told you last week would get tiki torched by Andy Dalton.  Add in the element of a less than 100% Calvin Johnson and Fauria could have a huge day as he’s already a red zone favorite for Matthew Stafford.  Sure it’s a bit of a risk play but it’s week 17 and if you thought week 16 was weird, you ain’t seen nothing yet.  Week 17 has a way of making Donnie Darko look like a silly romantic comedy by comparison when it comes to weirdness.  You got people sitting earlier than expected, people starting you didn’t think even played for the team…the list goes on.  Either way, if you’re playing for your championship during it, there’s nothing else you can do but enjoy the funkiness it provides and roll with the punches.  In other places of ranking rankle merit, Andre Brown is making a surprise return visit to my top 10 for RBs this week.  Totally a gut call here.  After the Eli interception explosion of late and the Giants’ defense clicking on all cylinders since forever and at home, I think they try to grind the clock, rely on their defense to hold and let Andre the Giant deflate the ball on the ‘skins to wind down a miserable 2013.  As you can see, I have DeAngelo and Ivory up in areas where no one is expecting them either.  You take your matchups and you run with them is all I can say.  That’s why Coby Fleener is where he is this week as well while we’re in the ‘he points at the matchups’ section of the rankings.  On the wide receiver side, I have flipped the fly white guys in New England around as I think Amendola is a better field stretcher than Julian which plays better against Buffalo’s weakness in terms of the passing game.  Defensively, the Cardinals are at home with something to prove as a team that could get bounced from the playoffs for no good reason other than they play in the toughest division in the NFC…heck, NFL if you want me to be honest.  Kickers were dressed up as girl scouts and dropped in the middle of the ghetto.  The ones who came back with the least amount of caps in their ass made the list…and the cookie sales leader got to be number one!  But enough about Tagalongs and Savannah Smiles, let’s wrap the regular season up.  Here’s the week 17 rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…


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From Around The Web

  1. Clint says:
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    Marcedes Lewis #24 despite his targets and torrid TD pace the last several games? Wow. And another Jaguar MJD gets little love over the still-timeshared Donny Brown? You are making me roll the dice this week, Sky.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      It’s not a prime matchup for Lewis even with the Henne targets. Think their minimalist offense gets a bit exposed in Indy on Sunday. This team found something last week. Think it continues. And as for the timeshare, DB keeps doing the heavy lifting. Hard to ignore that.

  2. Randall says:
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    NO SD Def in your top 20? They should be in the top 5 vs KC backups.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Thought I made KC adjustments but I still see Alex Smith pretty high as well. Still not a top 5 defense to me but I’ll have them ranked at least here by this afternoon.

  3. Btdrnks says:
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    No Grimes?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      You lost me…

  4. Jay Feely at 20?!?!?! You’re nuts! I got him no lower than 17.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ha! I liked this comment on Facebook

  5. J-FOH says:
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    I thought football was over? is this some weird bizzaro week?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      It is. You’re play Super Fantasy Mario World and you’re on Star Road

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          It’s always bizarro world when goodfold is around. Right Goodfold?

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @J-FOH: correct Sky. I wasn’t saying that because i didn’t think Jack didn’t already know it. I was extending (which is a cousin of agreeing) Jack’s point by mentioning that it isn’t just us (fantasy footballers) who have a hard time knowing what to do with player evaluations, but even real life coaches do. I have a suspicion Jack is quite aware of this and is just flinging shit at me for joking about Grey borrowing lines from dictionary sites in a different post and him thinking I was actually attacking Grey as a joke thief (which I wasn’t).

          • goodfold2 says:
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            @goodfold2: and if I actually thought I wanted to correct Jack with anything in RB depth charts, I would post it in one of his posts (like people often do, or ask about)

            • Balmy Tundrastein says:
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              @goodfold2: was Star Road a section of other Mario games besides Super Mario Kart (go carts, great game)

          • J-FOH says:
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            @goodfold2: classic goodfold

  6. isaacvandamme says:
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    What’s up Sky! Jeez, weeks 1-16 were mad-packed with comments and now y’all are ignored like no other since the season’s over… Bandwagon readers! Haha jkjk but glad your boss let you (himself) go on vacation. If he didn’t let you could’ve just called in anyways. But so! Don’t laugh at me for being in a 17 week league, it was that or nothing (I should probably make more friends but whatever) but according to your projections it looks like I’m poised to hoist the trophy in the air while playing “We Are the Champions” on repeat…my entire life will culminate on Sunday with this championship! Graduated college? Who cares. THIS is what it’s all about. Many thanks for all your help this season but after this long-winded story (hey, I figure you, the writer, should get to be the reader for once!) I have a final question, if I may be so bold to ask:

    What do you think? I got our boy GIO Bluth or Knile Davis. I mean. I know GIO B is one rank higher and I really think I just need a good solid 10 points. Nothing spectacular. But so, should I trust a backup getting the brunt of the carries or a legit playmaker in a somewhat shared backfield? I guess GIO B since he’s already shown us what he can do on any given play (sorry for the cliche), huh?

    Anyways, thanks again Sky. If (when?) I get that championship purse money, you know I’ll “buy you a mojito,” just like your site’s been suggesting I do from the beginning haha. Great writing man. Wish me luck this Sunday! And if you never hear firm me again it’s because I lost and hate your site. I kid! Thanks again man. Talk to ya Monday!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ha, thanks for the read, Isaac. I’d go Gio there. Should be able to get to 10 points easy. Good luck this weekend…and make more friends! Week 17…gah!

  7. nouseforotacon says:
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    What kind of Islay did you get? I got whisky stones and a bottle of Laphroaig. Islay brothers! 8)

    While I have your attention.. Clay has been rough the past couple of weeks, but has a good matchup vs. the Jets (7/80 week 13). Should I roll with him, or gamble on Fauria? 0.5 PPR. Here’s the matchup: http://i.imgur.com/GI3lZ4X.jpg

    Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you and your family. Thanks for the help all year!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Thanks man hope you have a great holiday as well! I actually got the same as you. Cheers!

      I have Fauria above Clay in the rankings above so he’s who I’d go with

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @nouseforotacon: that’s a really good team you got there, only weakish spot is TE? i’m guessing you had one of the big injuries (reed?) befall you.

      • nouseforotacon says:
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        @goodfold2:

        Damn, you’re good. I went from Davis > Reed > Clay. Feel good about my team, but you never know vs. Manning.. $1,100 on the line!

        In my other money league I lost in the finals last week.. was 10-3 and had an incredible win streak. But that team was more lucky than good. The injury list was borderline comical. Just check out the team logs for each team….

        Vamonos Pest (9-5) – http://i.imgur.com/7PdhAiS.jpg
        Flipadelphia (10-3) – http://i.imgur.com/e0c6ea0.jpg

        Funny how fantasy football works, eh?

  8. goodfold2 says:
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    kendall W or (M)knile davis at util? this is assuming knile davis does in fact get the bulk of work and starts, otherwise this question is kendall vs rainey. how come you have rainey so much lower than gio (BAL is good run def and is playing for their lives, NO not so good against running). Guess answer is something to do with NO being up so much Rainey gets carries taken away, or maybe CIN offense is much better running at home?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I’d lean Knile if he’s starting/getting the bulk of the work.

      Because NO is playing for their lives as well. They could still actually miss the playoffs and aren’t an easy team to beat at home. Rainey is a hit/miss move and Gio isn’t just a running back, he also catches the ball well. Baltimore is good but not great against the run as Reggie Bush proved just a few weeks ago.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Sky: if, for some reason word comes out that knile isn’t gonna start kendall or rainey?

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @goodfold2: shit forgot, non PPR.

          • goodfold2 says:
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            @goodfold2: even rotoworld is saying charles is likely to only play a few series’ at most.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Kendall

  9. MattTruss223 says:
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    WR/TE flex spot – Kris Durham or Joe Fauria? Many thanks Sky!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ooph…I just like Fauria’s RZ targets too much do I’d lean his way.

      • MattTruss223 says:
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        @Sky: hmmm, I see. In another league I’ve got Patterson and Knile Davis in my flex spots, I see you’re pretty high on Patterson this week (as I am too!) I don’t think I can start Fauria over either of those guys.

        I’ll probably make the switch with Durham though in the other league. These leagues use a combination of week 16/17 scores to determine the champion. I’ve got a 30 point cushion but just lost Romo and am starting Tannehill instead. Guy I’m facing just got Rodgers back too. I was thinking Durham would be the “safer” play but I’m not sure if safer = better in this case. Go big or go home I suppose, Fauria it is! Thanks man

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Word…good luck!

  10. MattTruss223 says:
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    Oh and dude up above in the comments was asking about Jonathan Grimes, the schmohawk starting at RB for the Texans this week…yea…that guy you didn’t even know was on the team…he wants to know where you’d rank him…

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @MattTruss223: same guy as frequent commentor Grimey. It’s why he hasn’t been on in a while.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ah I wasn’t sure on the Texans situation when I did the original rankings. I’ll get back with him later today then when I reevaluate. I so hate rankings week 17. Buncha who are these guys to cover.

  11. David says:
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    Hey!
    I got both Morris and A.Brown . I was second guessing myself in starting Morris. When I look at your rankings I see that you have Andre ranked #8 while Morris is all the way down to #18.
    I just wanted to know your reasoning for this. Personally, I see that Brown has been on a cold streak lately and some injury seems to keep happening to him while Morris has been solid under Cousins
    . If I start Brown can you guarantee me that he will finish the game? Can you , can you??.. Lol . No, but seriously….
    . Decisions decisions…..
    Thanks!!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Giants defense hasn’t been the problem, it’s been Eli and company and I don’t trust Shanny one iota at this point with how he plays his backs at the GL. I gave my reason on Andre in the lead paragraph.

  12. Jagan says:
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    Flex PPR – Andre brown or Lafell?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Brown for me. LaFell is a nice gamble though.

  13. Chris says:
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    Hey Sky,
    thanks for all your rankings, responses and HUMOR this season.
    I still have 2 games for week 17 (weird I know, relatives set it up :)
    8 team HALF point PPR (don’t get this HALF point stuff either)
    I need a 1WR and a 1 Flex out of these 4 guys.
    (I have Rivers and am playing against Peyton, so down in points already.)
    Keenan Allen, Edelman, Stacy, Moreno

    And Just curious about your rankings this week as to why your so high on Rashard Jennings ?
    I was going to play D’Angelo Williams and Andre Brown as my two Flexes, way ahead of him.
    (Different 10 team PPR)
    Thanks again for Razzball.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Rankings above have you covered for the WR. I’d go with Moreno at flex.

      Denver can be run on and Rashad is one of the better RBs in the league this year. Truthfully, though, you’re talking about 3 RB1s in my book this week. 10 team leagues do that to you sometimes.

      Oh and thanks for the kind words and thank you for reading!

  14. Chicken Dinner says:
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    Should I start the person you have ranked 12th or the person you have ranked 39th?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I see your snark, sir!

Comments are closed.