It seems like every season there is a player that was heavily dropped during the regular season that comes back during the weeks of the fantasy football playoffs with an absolute vengeance. Last year, it was was Derrick Henry and the tear that he went on in weeks 14-16, including that unforgettable 99-yard touchdown run that seemed to take an entire quarter to complete and then forgive my long-term memory, you’ll have to let me know what guy that was in the previous seasons.Please, blog, may I have some more?
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Here we are in the heart of December. It is week 15 of the NFL season which means it is the semi-finals for fantasy football. Outside of the semi-finals, we have a lot of fantasy football players that are playing to avoid last place punishment. We have seen some pretty grueling punishments for last place penalties and one of my keeper leagues has a long-standing punishment system as well.
This league has been running for 6 years and I have yet to finish last place, so I am pretty happy about that. The punishment for last place is that you have to get your belly button pierced and keep it in throughout the entire draft. This punishment fits into the mold of mildly inconvenient, while not life-altering or too embarrassing. We’re all friends from high school so we talk about it all year long. The bellybutton bowl. I bet if you asked everyone in the league, they would have a better memory of who got their bellybutton pierced than who actually won the league in any given year. Let’s get to the updated injury list and rankings for week 15.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Don’t second guess yourself. I was able to miraculously win a playoff matchup after swapping Jameis Winston out with about 15 seconds until game time. I didn’t really think Christian Kirk was going to have a good week against the stingy Steelers defense, so I swapped him right before that game in favor of the Monday night showdown between the Giants and the Eagles, inserting Sterling Shepard into my lineup in hopes that he’d rekindle the chemistry between him and Eli. And because of these two near-fatal errors, I won my matchup by .3 thanks to a late-change by my opponent to start Kirk Cousins over Matt Ryan. Decisiveness and sticking with your gut is your best friend in fantasy, and the same can apply to daily fantasy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
What are you ranking? Everything! You get a ranking, you get a ranking, everybody gets a ranking! You’ll find my Standard, Half-PPR, and PPR rankings below.
What are my rankings bona fidas? Well, there’s finishing in the FantasyPros Top-10 Draft Accuracy (7th Place) in 2017, Top-25 Weekly Accuracy (23rd Place) in 2017, Top-5 Draft Accuracy (3rd place) in 2016, Top-10 Weekly Accuracy (10th Place) in 2016, Top-25 Weekly Accuracy in 2015 (21st Place) and on average we’ve finished in the Top-10 Draft Accuracy (9th Overall) and the Top-20 Weekly Accuracy (18th Overall) for the past four years and finished 30th overall for our Draft Rankings with a 32nd overall finish in Weekly just last season. And this is out of over 100+ industry sites and experts year-after-year. I’d like to think we’re pretty good at this stuff…
What does the word bona fidas mean? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, bo·na fi·des ˌbō-nə-ˈfī-ˌdēz , ÷ˈbō-nə-ˌfīdz means 1 : good faith : sincerity, 2 : the fact of being genuine —often plural in construction, 3 : evidence of one’s good faith or genuineness —often plural in construction, 4 : evidence of one’s qualifications or achievements —often plural in construction. On a separate note, I think it would make a great name for a cat.
What’s my ranking process? I’ve actually written about this in the past, and instead of working hard for new and enlightening content, I have chosen the more efficient (lazy, ahem) method and dropping in a link to that post here. Honestly, my process hasn’t changed much at all (the ole “don’t fix what ain’t broke” proverb comes to mind) and so my “A Day in the Life of a Fantasy Football Ranker” story still remains relevant to this day. (The TL;DR is: I’m lazy as fudge. Well, I mean the other “f” word, but I’m hungry.)
How should I use your rankings? The same way your mother does. Which actually makes no sense. (Unless your mother is in the running to always finish top-3 in your Fantasy Football league. And if that’s the case, say hello to her for me.)Please, blog, may I have some more?
With only one win until the holy grail, the fantasy championships, we need to focus on the task ahead: Play for next Sunday. There are a bunch of great matchups on the board this week, so let’s talk about some players we need to lock in our lineups, and those that need to stay on the bench.
Let’s get into this week’s Starts and Sits.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I heard the other day that beer is on the decline in the United States. Over the past 5 years beer sales are down around 2.4% and a whopping 1.5% over the last year alone. More and more Americans are turning to spiked seltzer, canned wine and hard liquor these days. And I understand it. When my RazzBowl dreams were dashed on a dropped Will Fuller touchdown during week 13 Sunday Night Football, beer wasn’t strong enough to kill the pain. I was forced to turn to hard liquor—and hard drugs—to find momentary contentment.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have been discussing overarching themes to the 2019 fantasy football season and how that may affect the 2020 season. During this time, I’ve been beating around the bush. We all know the biggest story of 2019, and what the biggest question of 2020 will be: To Lamar, or not to Lamar? I’ve avoided the question for the past month. Why? Because, my answer is going to be on the very unpopular side of the aisle. Lamar Jackson is going to be worth a 1st round pick in 2020.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Texans offense is averaging 23.7 points on the road and faces a Titans defense allowing 24.0 points per game over their previous 5 matchups at home. Watson takes his passing attack against a Tennessee DST that surrendered top 13th QB fantasy finishes in 3 out of their previous 4 games (QB 11 Carr – 23 Brissett – 13 Foles – 3 Mahomes).Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to Stat-o-Matic where we look at some advanced stats around the NFL. As a disclaimer, I am using this space to play around with some numbers and present some interesting findings. But, by no means is this validated or predictive data. I hope that it will lead to meaningful discoveries or it could inspire you to go down your own rabbit hole. We’re going to explore together, crunch some numbers and see what pops out.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was watching NFL Network Sunday morning and a commercial came on that made me double take:
That’s right, there’s a curved erection epidemic running rampant in America! This advertisement created more questions than answers. First, what are the scientific qualifications for a shaft to earn the “diseased” label? Are we talking right angles or a bit more obtuse? Is there a special penis protractor to measure the exact angles? And what’s the treatment plan for this condition? You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. But I am curious, who was this Peyronie guy? Whoever he was, thanks to him, the family name will forever go down as the crooked erection guys. The point is, no matter how terrible your fantasy football team was this season, things could be worse. You could be watching targeted erectile deformity ads on Sunday mornings. Even if you just got done searching Amazon for a penis protractor, at least the curved dong disease wasn’t named after you. And there’s always next year! So let’s all zip up our pants and shift our attention over to my early 2020 top 100 dynasty football PPR rankings which will be released into your veins–arm veins– via four-part slow drip:Please, blog, may I have some more?