2019 Football Draft Kit

It seems like every season there is a player that was heavily dropped during the regular season that comes back during the weeks of the fantasy football playoffs with an absolute vengeance. Last year, it was was Derrick Henry and the tear that he went on in weeks 14-16, including that unforgettable 99-yard touchdown run that seemed to take an entire quarter to complete and then forgive my long-term memory, you’ll have to let me know what guy that was in the previous seasons.

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Here we are in the heart of December. It is week 15 of the NFL season which means it is the semi-finals for fantasy football. Outside of the semi-finals, we have a lot of fantasy football players that are playing to avoid last place punishment. We have seen some pretty grueling punishments for last place penalties and one of my keeper leagues has a long-standing punishment system as well. 

This league has been running for 6 years and I have yet to finish last place, so I am pretty happy about that. The punishment for last place is that you have to get your belly button pierced and keep it in throughout the entire draft. This punishment fits into the mold of mildly inconvenient, while not life-altering or too embarrassing. We’re all friends from high school so we talk about it all year long. The bellybutton bowl. I bet if you asked everyone in the league, they would have a better memory of who got their bellybutton pierced than who actually won the league in any given year. Let’s get to the updated injury list and rankings for week 15. 

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Don’t second guess yourself. I was able to miraculously win a playoff matchup after swapping Jameis Winston out with about 15 seconds until game time. I didn’t really think Christian Kirk was going to have a good week against the stingy Steelers defense, so I swapped him right before that game in favor of the Monday night showdown between the Giants and the Eagles, inserting Sterling Shepard into my lineup in hopes that he’d rekindle the chemistry between him and Eli. And because of these two near-fatal errors, I won my matchup by .3 thanks to a late-change by my opponent to start Kirk Cousins over Matt Ryan. Decisiveness and sticking with your gut is your best friend in fantasy, and the same can apply to daily fantasy.

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2019 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 14 51 82 111 12 15 49 91
Week 13 102 100 105 66 102 52 77
Week 12 74 67 42 27 126 31 34
Week 11 124 110 116 124 44
Week 10 109 136 71 44 55 76 25
Week 9 39 16 127 45 19 47 51
Week 8 115 128 115 100 18 24 14
Week 7 104 25 66 129 113 28 26
Week 6 81 74 118 28 76 76 37
Week 5 58 68 8 113 41 10 39
Week 4 83 37 64 90 120 77 80
Week 3 89 86 117 32 106 27 13
Week 2 2 17 9 26 39 69 35
Week 1 47 81 31 49 76 26 24
Cumulative 76 79 87 60 72 45 26

What are you ranking? Everything! You get a ranking, you get a ranking, everybody gets a ranking! You’ll find my Standard, Half-PPR, and PPR rankings below.

What are my rankings bona fidas? Well, there’s finishing in the FantasyPros Top-10 Draft Accuracy (7th Place) in 2017, Top-25 Weekly Accuracy (23rd Place) in 2017, Top-5 Draft Accuracy (3rd place) in 2016, Top-10 Weekly Accuracy (10th Place) in 2016, Top-25 Weekly Accuracy in 2015 (21st Place) and on average we’ve finished in the Top-10 Draft Accuracy (9th Overall) and the Top-20 Weekly Accuracy (18th Overall) for the past four years and finished 30th overall for our Draft Rankings with a 32nd overall finish in Weekly just last season. And this is out of over 100+ industry sites and experts year-after-year. I’d like to think we’re pretty good at this stuff…

What does the word bona fidas mean? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, bo·na fi·des ˌbō-nə-ˈfī-ˌdēz , ÷ˈbō-nə-ˌfīdz means 1 : good faith : sincerity, 2 : the fact of being genuine —often plural in construction, 3 : evidence of one’s good faith or genuineness —often plural in construction, 4 : evidence of one’s qualifications or achievements —often plural in construction. On a separate note, I think it would make a great name for a cat.

What’s my ranking process? I’ve actually written about this in the past, and instead of working hard for new and enlightening content, I have chosen the more efficient (lazy, ahem) method and dropping in a link to that post here. Honestly, my process hasn’t changed much at all (the ole “don’t fix what ain’t broke” proverb comes to mind) and so my “A Day in the Life of a Fantasy Football Ranker” story still remains relevant to this day. (The TL;DR is: I’m lazy as fudge. Well, I mean the other “f” word, but I’m hungry.)

How should I use your rankings? The same way your mother does. Which actually makes no sense. (Unless your mother is in the running to always finish top-3 in your Fantasy Football league. And if that’s the case, say hello to her for me.)

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I heard the other day that beer is on the decline in the United States. Over the past 5 years beer sales are down around 2.4% and a whopping 1.5% over the last year alone. More and more Americans are turning to spiked seltzer, canned wine and hard liquor these days. And I understand it. When my RazzBowl dreams were dashed on a dropped Will Fuller touchdown during week 13 Sunday Night Football, beer wasn’t strong enough to kill the pain. I was forced to turn to hard liquor—and hard drugs—to find momentary contentment.

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We have been discussing overarching themes to the 2019 fantasy football season and how that may affect the 2020 season. During this time, I’ve been beating around the bush. We all know the biggest story of 2019, and what the biggest question of 2020 will be: To Lamar, or not to Lamar? I’ve avoided the question for the past month. Why? Because, my answer is going to be on the very unpopular side of the aisle. Lamar Jackson is going to be worth a 1st round pick in 2020.

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Welcome to Stat-o-Matic where we look at some advanced stats around the NFL. As a disclaimer, I am using this space to play around with some numbers and present some interesting findings. But, by no means is this validated or predictive data. I hope that it will lead to meaningful discoveries or it could inspire you to go down your own rabbit hole. We’re going to explore together, crunch some numbers and see what pops out.

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I was watching NFL Network Sunday morning and a commercial came on that made me double take:

That’s right, there’s a curved erection epidemic running rampant in America! This advertisement created more questions than answers. First, what are the scientific qualifications for a shaft to earn the “diseased” label? Are we talking right angles or a bit more obtuse? Is there a special penis protractor to measure the exact angles? And what’s the treatment plan for this condition? You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know. But I am curious, who was this Peyronie guy? Whoever he was, thanks to him, the family name will forever go down as the crooked erection guys. The point is, no matter how terrible your fantasy football team was this season, things could be worse. You could be watching targeted erectile deformity ads on Sunday mornings. Even if you just got done searching Amazon for a penis protractor, at least the curved dong disease wasn’t named after you. And there’s always next year! So let’s all zip up our pants and shift our attention over to my early 2020 top 100 dynasty football PPR rankings which will be released into your veins–arm veins– via four-part slow drip: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?