I apologize for not being able to write an Ambulance Chasers last week — I was questionable going into Wednesday when I write this article, but it quickly turned to doubtful as the day went on. I tried going to my big boy job, but had to leave early Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I’m unfortunately and nerdily allergic to cough/cold medicines so every time I get sick it hits really hard and I just have to ride it out.Please, blog, may I have some more?
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What’s going on everyone, and welcome to the tenth week of the 2018 NFL season! I hope you guys all had a great Week 9 thanks to some awesome performances from Drew Brees, Jared Goff, Alvin Kamara, Tevin Coleman, Michael Thomas, Travis Kelce, and the Chicago Bears D/ST!
Below are my rankings for Week 10, for all scoring systems, so enjoy!
In the meantime, I’ll be back on Saturday for the tenth edition of my 2018 Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em series!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Finally Election Day is upon us! And I know exactly what you’re thinking: Donkey, how can I vote Marquez Valdes-Scantling onto my fantasy team when 7 different commercials just exposed him as the rape-loving, baby-murdering, puppy-hating heathen he is?
Fortunately for Marquez, his only opposition is Chief Geronimo Allison who’s also a rape-loving, baby-murdering, puppy-hating heathen. Geronimo also happens to fund terrorism and will miss at least 6 weeks due to core surgery. MVS is yet another in a long line of rookie wide receivers I’m recommending. He has a top QB and a clear path to targets; mark him down as a must-add in all leagues and call him a WR3 for the time being. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just four short weeks before the fantasy football playoffs. I don’t know about you guys, but it seems like I have a lot riding on this Thursday’s game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Carolina Panthers for this week’s results. This week is one thing, but what about the fantasy playoffs?
Is it too early to start thinking about the most important three week run of the fantasy season? Hell no! Be Bill Belicheck, not Jason Garrett. Before we get to the rankings for week 10, I’m going to point out some favorable playoff schedules that I have noticed so far. That way, you can prepare some sneaky trades before your deadline or go on a hunt in the waiver wire to see what you can get while others are living week to week trying to survive bye week hell…Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s this? Can it be? Yes, tis I, Beddict, back from the dead, both metaphorically and literally speaking, as I was recently shocked back to life after keestering (spellcheck wanted this word changed to “racketeering” for context) a bad batch of horse tranquilizers (or is that what they’re supposed to do?). Where have I been all season, you ask (or more likely don’t care)? Well, if you must know, I’ve been searching for my life’s purpose, something to dedicate my life to, something that inspires me…
At one point in time, I believed that writing was my true calling, believing I had the skill to become a known author, but, as per usual there was something holding me back from reaching my full potential, a blockade altering my path to glory yet again. As you sit at work reading this (while you should be working) you think to yourself: “Man, I can’t stand my wife. I wish I could go back in time and take a shot at the Brazilian stripper I met on my bachelor party in Vegas. She really seemed to get me.” Also: “What could possibly stop Tehol Beddict?!?!?! The man has a rocking body, a heart of gold, a slightly above average sized pipe, and a real talent on the key board. If he can’t become successful, who can!?!? WHY? WHY IS THIS WORLD SO CRUEL?!” The truth is, I’ve always given up on things too early, finding some excuse or reason to quit. Some would call this a fear or failure, some would call it laziness.
I’m sure many of you have experienced the same, or I don’t know, maybe you don’t have talent of any sort…and, errrr, that’s ok too… :-( …I guess what I’m trying to say here is, we all must dig deep within ourselves to become that person we were meant to be, to use the talents bestowed upon us by the Elder Gods. I’ve wasted many of the prime years of my life, but don’t intend on continuing to do so. Of course, we never intend to be utter failures in all aspects of life, so maybe I’m destined for a life of misery and despair. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, say he’s probably f*cked.
Oh, wait, is this a football column? Below are my thoughts on a few stories I find interesting in the NFL at the midway point of the season. Take Heed!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome back, my Lovelies, to another e-rousing week of Hit it or Quit it, with Yours Truly, your Goddess of innuendo. Week 9 seemed to be a ho-hum week for me as your stunningly gorgeous Goddess went a mediocre 3-2. As expected, my sacrificial league was a complete and utter sh**show, but was somewhat less grotesque following a blowout in one of my money leagues. The emasculation I visited on that poor bastard is one for the ages. I may have to report to the Hague now because it really was a crime against humanity. These constant losses in my sacrificial league still do not sit well with me. Although I do not like the role of submissive, in the end life is about balance. As you know, I am willing to take one raw and dry from you, my faithful readers, with the hopes I can bring you first-hand experience on how my article subjects fare, so if that means I have to assume unfamiliar roles to keep you coming back for more each week, I am willing to do so without charging extra.
The curse managed to spare me again this week, so I am beginning to think there is something to this sacrificial league after all. I will probably jinx myself, but I have never made it this long in any season without being absolutely violated by the Curse. Of course, Fournette is still taking up oxygen while sipping Mai Tai’s on my bench, but rumor has it he plans to head back following the bye. I’ll believe that when I see it. Right now, he is more like a freeloading ex who just will not go away, but you cannot bring yourself to quit him because when he is on, he satisfies many a need for you. C’est la vie.
Wow, Week 10 already. Where has the time gone? I so enjoy our time together in the Dungeon each week and knowing we only have a few more weeks of fun together before the season ends, well, that just brings an iota of pain to my cold, dead heart. Yes, even I, your Mistress of Pain, your Dominatrix of Destruction misses you. After all, without you, I would not be able to keep the lights on in the Dungeon, and the routine bleach downs really take a hit on the wallet. Therefore, I suppose I should get to why you are here this week. I know, talk is cheap, but I am not. Without further ado, I give you Week 10, Hit it or Quit it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
My Bills took it on the chin again (going to be saying that quite a bit the rest of the next two seasons) as the Bears smacked Nathan Peterman around all day in a game that was downright offensive to the modern NFL offenses. I actually watched that entire game and then the New Orleans – LA Rams game and it felt like I was watching two different sports. Let’s get into some of the games from this past weekend…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Adam Humphries, 2.7%, vs WSH: I told you to grab him after week 9 — you only have yourself to blame! This is now the third week in a row where Humphries was second to Mike Evans in targets, however Evans and Humphries couldn’t have had two different days. Humphries was the second-highest scoring WR in the league while Evans only hauled in 1 of his 10 targets for 16 yards…Please, blog, may I have some more?
It may not have been a huge week for wide receivers, but it was definitely a huge week for running backs. In the early games, we had a handful of running backs that were able to score twice. As I’m writing this very paragraph, Alvin Kamara scored his second touchdown of the game. As the weather gets colder in a large chunk of the country, we might see this more and more. The pass catching running back is so valuable, even in standard leagues. In a dynasty auction league, I got Christian McCaffery for dirt cheap just because it isn’t PPR. Granted, I’d appreciate the points for catches, but McCaffery is so dynamic that he can still win weeks for me. We have 5 games to get to this week and a lot to talk about.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The fantasy football playoffs are five weeks away for most leagues so it is crunch time for teams that are sitting right around .500 or below. When making trades, you’re taking bye weeks into consideration where you are lacking. If you play in a league with a cap on waiver wire transactions or faab , you are starting to be a little bit more conservative this time of year. Everything counts now. Every week is important in November.
Check out our weekly rankings:
Be sure to check out our most popular tool, the trade analyzer. You like to trade? Rudy would love to help! It’s free, comprehensive, and simple to use.Please, blog, may I have some more?