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Fantasy football will always be the best distraction in my life and I love that I get to share it with you guys. I love answering your questions in the comments, I love chatting about the game. I’m like your own personal fantasy football Mr. Meseeks. But sometimes we need to focus on real life and share on that front too… So back when Mulan originally came out in 1998, McDonalds released a special Szechuan sauce to coincide with the movie. And then it was brutally and forcefully ripped from our hands by big corporations that don’t care about the little people. Fast forward 20 years, where cartoons and a lot of nagging on Twitter can change things (OK, let’s be real, nothing every gets resolved on Twitter). The cult of Rick and Morty fans, rabid after a season 3 premiere where Rick refers to the magical Mulan McNugget sauce as his “one-armed man”, intersect with the announcement of a live action Mulan movie and the snowball gets rolling. To the point where McDonald’s gives away a few large containers of the special sauce to the creators and a few lucky fans, one jug of which apparently got up to $4,000 in bidding on eBay, and we now get a special day on October 7th where certain McDonald’s location will have a limited supply of sauce. I bring this up for two reasons. One – someone help a brother stranded in Iowa cornfields out and send me some of this stuff. Two – in spite of the bigger societal issues, if we band together and focus on distractive efforts (like fantasy football or the commenter community here at Razzball), we can do anything. Hopefully with extra sauce. Let’s go streaming! As always, I focus on guys owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues after waivers process on Thursday. The bye weeks are here and the dives get a little deeper, but you’re in the trust tree Frank. I got ya. Bring that green hat Snoop-a-loop!

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2017 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Week 4 24 10 67 72 98 37 62 3
Week 3 29 42 66 56 51 18 34 7
Week 2 76 79 96 25 64 18 95 7
Week 1 7 6 43 28 62 35 62 6
Cumulative 17 8 71 28 20 22 67 4
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112
3-Year Average Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
2014-2016 21 37 28 22 42 16 33

Another solid week in accuracy, though a trend of middling results is emerging in the running back category. You mean to say that a position I hate this year because of it’s lack of overall depth and surprising results with a usual dose of soul-crushing injuries is something I’ve been having a hard time getting a full grasp of? Say it ain’t so! Regardless, we’re here for you during the most important month of Fantasy Football, the one that makes or breaks your team! DUN DUN DUNH! (I’m not sure if that’s how you spell it, but phonetically, I think it works.)

Week 5 Rankings for Standard, Half-PPR, PPR and IDP leagues are right after the jump! (And our Rest of Season rankings have been updated and can be found here!)

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One more week in the books, a few more young running backs on the shelf. This week, the devastating running back news was Dalvin Cook going down with a torn ACL. If you watched the injury live or watched the replay over and over again like I did, you had to feel for the kid. He went down with a non-contact injury less than four weeks into what was quickly becoming an impressive rookie season, and it looked as ugly as it sounds.

But we fantasy owners don’t have time to feel bad for Cook. Pour out some Duff for your boy and move on with your fantasy life. For Cook owners, this likely leaves you scrambling for replacements. For owners desperate for running backs and streaming options, Latavius Murray just started dancing into your dreams.

While Murray won’t be confused for Cook on the field, he does have some appeal. The Vikings signed Murray before they were able to go out and draft Cook, so they at least considered him a serviceable option in the event that the draft did not go their way. They also signed him to a three-year deal, and even though most NFL contracts are filled with fake money and fake years, that is more than nothing (what an endorsement!).

While some have pointed to Jerick McKinnon as taking over a bigger role, I really don’t see that happening. He should continue with his current role, and he might see a slightly increased workload, but Murray is going to get the first shot at taking the lead role. I am desperate for running backs in at least two of my dozen leagues, and I am going to use the waiver priority I have been saving on Murray this week.

To the charts!

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We are a quarter of the way through the fantasy football season. There are some trends that are becoming more or less of a normalcy. Fantasy football performance is almost as unpredictable as the injuries that ravage our rosters. As rankers, we have a big enough sample size to start fading some of the players who performed well in past seasons at our choosing and also consistently moving up players that are having good seasons for more than just their match ups.

Without further ado, here are my Week 5 rankings…

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Hello everyone, and welcome to Wednesday, Rankings Day! Get ready for another jam-packed day in which myself and Matt will be sharing with you all our rankings! Just a quick note, before I begin, I’m going to be switching up the format this week. I’m going to keep my blurbs short and sweet, like the other guys do, with more emphasis on the “Tool Time” series, where not only will we have more updated information regarding who’s healthy or not, but also a clearer look at match-ups, and a chance to give you guys more information regarding our Razzball-certified picks for the week ahead.

Enough chatter, let’s get to it!

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After last week’s boring as hell waiver wire we’re back this week with some real options. Not the sexiest of options, mind you, but more (the ol’ quantity over quality). Remember we’re going with $100 FAAB dollars (though most of you probably have much less than that, and I’m working off the loose assumption you have about $50 or so left so adjust accordingly):

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Hello my loves! Welcome back to another rendition of Hit it or Quit it. How was your week? Did you manage to avoid arrest for indecent exposure? Yes? What is wrong with you? You need to step your game up then, otherwise we can’t be lovers anymore. I had a fairly decent week until I got bent over and did raw in one of my leagues when I wasn’t notified that Michael Crabtree was out and ended up starting him. It handed me my first loss in that league and yeah, I am still salty about getting a case of the CRABtrees. Alas, such is my life. I am still sitting ontop of all of the men in that league, so the view is pretty sweet. Wait, that sounded dirty…heh, heh, heh… Now, I am sure you are all here because, like the song of the Siren, you couldn’t pull yourself away. Again, it is understandable, I am pretty awesome after all. In a week where the Black Widow Curse was pretty quiet (probably from all that man flesh she feasted on in Week 3), it is not guaranteed how long her satiety will last. So, with that, let’s get down to business and stop all this pillow talk. Ladies and gentlemen, convicts and degenerates, ask and ye shall receive. I give you, Hit it or quit it, Week 5…

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That picture should guarantee at least 200 extra article views by itself!

Well, every single player in the NFL got injured in Week 4. At least it feels that way. Now you are forced to sort through the backups and rubble to salvage your season. Do. Not. PANIC! Plenty of good streaming fliers out there to keep you afloat. If you read the Razzball suite of articles you’ll be wearing your league’s championship belt before you know it! Let’s get into it!

If you’ve got any league-specific questions drop ‘em in the comments below and I’ll reply before the Wednesday waiver deadline.

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