Back this week after a brief hiatus last week while I was traveling. Plus, the weird Tuesday Night Football schedule threw off the whole week. It’s like somebody pissed on the rug, but while still leaving a stain, the piss smelled like roses. Because it was awesome having TuNF and a doubleheader this week on MNF. Anyway, you don’t care, and have probably stopped or never read the intro, so, on to the tight end rankings.

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I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

New York Giants (+4.5) at Philadelphia Eagles

Forecast: I hope you all appreciate the gravity of what’s happening here—0-6 against the spread is no small feat. My new goal is to do something even the 2008 Detroit Lions and 2017 Cleveland Browns were unable to achieve, an 0-17 record. In the return of Thursday Night Football we’ll also find the return of Desean Jackson, who was out on sabbatical visiting Hitler’s grave. Jackson’s return will be short lived when he’s ejected for attacking Giants’ safety Nate Ebner. Carson Wentz will resume throwing to his witness protection receiving corps of Greg Ward, Travis Fulgam and Richard Rodgers aka Dick Rod. Up front the Eagles will suffer even more issues as both of their 6th string offensive tackles will leave early with injuries, giving way to emergency offensive linemen Jalen Hurts and Darren Sproles. All of that still won’t be enough to keep the the second worst football team in New York competitive on Thursday night.  Eagles 24, Giants 13

Wager: Eagles -4.5 (2 Units)

2020 Season: 0-6 (-9.35 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 7 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

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Your WR top 80 8.0 is here! We’re getting some studs back playing on the field, so that’s a bonus to the upper tier. As a rule, injuries will always bump guys down. I am generally pessimistic that players will return on time at full strength without a setback. 

This list is not league or format specific, but it is based on 2020 rest-of-season projection only. When thinking through tiers and rankings I asked myself simply – “all things considered who would I rather have on my roster?”

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Part of being a fantasy analyst is that you’re always, at least to some degree, a contrarian. And being a critic and being contrarian are two different things: the former involves the deployment of data to make an argument, and the latter is going up when others go down [wait, what site am I writing for again?]. The most effective moments in fantasy analysis are when criticism and contrarianism connect, and the fantasy analyst makes a predictive move that could help readers win their fantasy leagues. 

Now, I’m not claiming oracle status, but I will claim a short victory lap on Ryan Fitzpatrick, who I warned my readers to stay away from. 

The (Fitz) magic disappeared on Tuesday, October 20, 2020, when rookie signal caller Tua Tagovailoa was named the starter for the Miami Dolphins. 

Therein lies the vex of fantasy analysis: some of the stuff we say seems, well, loco. Fitzpatrick had been putting up pretty good fantasy numbers. But (and it’s a Blair’s been sitting here writing this update for too-long sized but), Fitzpatrick’s peripheral numbers were terrible. Last week, I pointed out that Fitzpatrick was struggling with moving the ball down the field, was throwing too many interceptions, and had an on-target percentage sandwiched in-between Trubisky and Haskins, each of whom had lost their starting job this year. And now, the Fitzmagic has disappeared. 

Aye, I definitely am a bit crazy. But, if I saved you some cash by navigating you away from Fitzpatrick this season, then take a moment to consider an add-free subscription to the site, or, for less than $2/week remaining on the season, get a Roto Deluxe membership to get all of Rudy’s fresh projections updated for Tua Tagovailoa as the starter. 

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Welcome to the last fantasy football week before pandemic Halloween. Isn’t every day Halloween in 2020? We’re all wearing MASKS. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of Grey locking out my account for that terrible attempt at a joke. I really dropped the ball on that one like Zeke against Arizona on Monday. Getting any better? No?

To my surprise, there has been a lot of new horror content on streaming services this year. The Haunting at Bly Manor was a good watch. It wasn’t even all that scary though. Do you know what is scary? Never knowing when a bye week is going to unexpectedly pop up for one of your fantasy players. You don’t have to sweat it this week so far, but if you do run into trouble and don’t know what to do, we have you covered with the weekly rankings. Here are mine for week 7.

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Two Monday night games sounds great in theory until I look up and it’s 9 o’clock at night and my stomach hurts from overeating take out (there’s no time to cook when you have 6 hours of football ahead of you) and I still have an article to write. Was the mediocre at best football worth it? Yes. Yes it was. Another question that I am currently asking myself is how a fantasy football analyst like myself can be so bad at prop bets? Nothing seemed like more of a lock to me than Patrick Mahomes getting 3 touchdowns or Stefon Diggs getting 80 receiving yards. But it was CEH night and Diggs was held or interfered with on a couple of opportunities to make big plays. It is what it is. 

Last week was a little weird for the trade market with a Tuesday night football game. We are back to a normal schedule this week and have a Thursday night football game as well. Giants and Eagles! Woo Hoo! If you are unaware when your trade deadline is, that might be something that you want to look in to. Here are a few buys and a sell to look into as we are near the halfway point of the fantasy football season. 

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The choice for this week’s lede seemed obvious heading into the final game of the Week 6. Fresh off the Chiefs’ signing of Le’Veon Bell to a one-year deal, Clyde Edwards-Helaire erupted for 161 yards on 26 carries, adding another four receptions on four targets for eight yards. Other than the fact that CEH remains allergic to the end zone, it was an outstanding performance, as he cruised to 6.2 yards-per-carry while handling all of his targets with ease. Meanwhile, Bell saw a much different line in the box score: three plane rides, two luxury hotel stays, seven tweets and a new Mahomes. A big boost to the fantasy value? Well, it depends on how you look at it, as they say. All things are relative. It’s certainly a worse landing spot compared to somewhere like Miami or Buffalo where Bell would have a much greater likelihood of handling lead-back duties. However, playing second fiddle to CEH (which we have to assume for now, based on his Week 6 performance) still beats being the feature back for the New York Jets. Hell, being Andy Reid’s butt-scratcher beats being the No.1 running back for Gang Green. Still, I have to mention that it was in fact Darrel Williams (six carries, 16 yards, one rushing TD; one reception, 15 yards) that found pay dirt, running in a 13-yard score in the third quarter.

As of 8:15 ET on Monday night, that was the clear headline for my top 60 rest of season running back rankings. Well, that was until early in the second quarter of the nightcap between the Cowboys and Cardinals, where we saw the second highest paid running back in the NFL, Ezekiel Elliott, cough up his fourth and fifth fumbles of the season — and it’s only Week 6! By the way, that gives Elliott a share of the NFL lead for fumbles alongside Joe Burrow, Derek Carr and Carson Wentz. That’s right, he leads all running backs. Notably, the Cowboys actually showed a willingness to move away from Elliott for much of the second quarter after that, likely out of an attempt to both wake Elliott up and prioritize salvaging the game as it quickly got away from them. Tony Pollard ended up with a season-high seven carries in the first half, which he turned into 26 yards on the ground. In the end, however, it was obviously still Zeke’s backfield in the second half. Zeke finished with 12 carries for 49 yards, but he also caught eight of 11 targets (most on team) for 31 yards. Pollard finished with 10 carries for 31 yards, adding another two catches for nine yards. It’s reasonable to be concerned if you own any fantasy weapons in the Dallas offense after their performance on Monday night. Abysmal just doesn’t seem to be the right word, but it’ll do for now. The remainder of Dallas’ schedule is also pretty tough against running backs, so I’ve downgraded Elliott one spot.

Before we get to the Week 7 rankings, let’s take a quick trip around the league.

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The week 7 waiver landscape is as barren as the Gobi desert. No major injuries opened up prime starting spots for fantasy teams. There are some rookies begging to be added on merit alone, however. And this is the best type of add, because these are players earning their volume. Guys like Higgins and Patrick should see their roles increase and can be real assets down the line. Conversely, players who get a bump simply due to injury may not capitalize on their touches (see: Mattison, Alexander)

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back to review week 6 as they await the double header of Monday Night Football. We start by going over some injuries and talk about their replacements legitimacy. The Eagles continue to lose offense weapons with Miles Sanders and Zach Ertz possibly missing time. Raheem Mostert was off to a hot start before going down with an ankle injury (we now know it was a high ankle sprain and he’s likely heading to the IR). Then, we talk about Baker Mayfield’s “benching” and how we view the young QB moving forward. 

Speaking of young players, the guys talk move on to discuss the NFL ROY and the fantasy football ROY. Plenty of candidates from James Robinson, Justin Jefferson, CeeDee Lamb, Justin Herbert, Clyde Edwards-Helaire, and more. We finish up the show talking about some potential waiver wire targets and where they rank among some of the other big performers from week 6. The two discuss the Bengals WR situation, the Lions and Ravens RB situation, Travis Fulgham, Tee Higgins, Preston Williams, and o yeah, we talk about Le’Veon. 

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Insurance has been at the forefront of my mind lately. Maybe it’s all the Baker Mayfield Progressive commercials brainwashing me. But most of the time when Baker comes on screen with his book club, I’m just wondering how it’s possible that a large insurance company couldn’t find a better spokesperson than Mayfield. So then maybe it’s all the Patrick Mahomes and Aaron Rodgers State Farm commercials brainwashing me. But most of the time when Patrick and Aaron come on I’m just giggling about the gallon of ketchup Mahomes is pouring on his steak. So, that can’t be it. Ah ha! I just figured it out. It’s those Geico Motaur commercials—a half man, half motorcycle talking nonsense is what speaks to my subconscious mind. If they hired an NFL up and comer to play the role of Motaur it would have to be Christian Kirk, his upper body already looks very stallion-like. He also went off for 2 catches for 86 yards and his 2nd and 3rd touchdowns Monday night which, based on Mayfield’s deal, must be worth at least a ten commercial contract. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

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