I hope your fantasy baseball seasons went well. Congratulations to Grey, Rudy, and Matt Truss on fantastic showings in the industry leagues. Now it’s time for playoff baseball and as I’m writing this, my Cubs are in a pinch. Football will prove to be a nice distraction if I get my heart broken this evening. The Bears and Buccaneers are on a bye this week and the Thursday night game is between the Patriots and the Colts. Here are my rankings for Week 5.

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Back in kindergarten I was a real ladies donkey. All the other little donkeys were worried about catching cooties, but not ole Donkey Teeth. Your boy was busy scheduling play dates with all the kindergarten hotties; there was little time to worry about contracting the cooties, in fact, Donkey Teeth wanted those cooties.

Fast forward a quarter century, and while it seems my prowess with the ladies may have peaked a little early, I’m still trying to catch all the cooties I can: Keke Coutee that is (proper pronunciation is cue-Tee, but cut me a little slack). Coutee, the fourth round rookie out of Texas Tech, set a modern day record with 11 catches in his debut this week. Will Fuller’s hamstrings are literally held together by black forest ham and some strings; if Fuller misses more time, Coutee could be in for some monster weeks. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:
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Welcome back, my Lovelies, to another e-rousing week of Hit it or Quit it, with Yours Truly, your Goddess of innuendo. I have to tell you right now, I am about ¾ of a bottle in on this Jameson, so I cannot be held responsible for any advice you may decide to take today.

Well, it has been a rough weekend on many counts for your Goddess this week and none of that rough play was fun in any way, shape, or form. The beatings I took this week make Fifty Shades of Grey look like a Judy Blume book. IF you don’t know who Judy Blume is it’s because you are not a girl and did not have to rely on a book to talk to you about your period. But I digress. Yeah, it was a tough one all around and I went a sad 2-3 this week in all of my leagues, but those two wins were nothing to flaunt. But, hey, it is what it is. The fantasy gods giveth, and they also taketh away. Is it just me or does it seem like this season is getting off (giggity) to a rather bumpy start? Lots of handsy fumblings in the dark kind of bumpy. Great, now I am having high school party flashbacks…or was that Saturday night? Anyway, it has been a mess and I can say for me, this season has not been very enjoyable. Thank God I have that box of toys under my bed to perk my spirits up. Oh, what would I do without you? Probably throw myself into a precipice, but again, I digress. So, let’s get down to the meat and bones of why you are here. You are here, again, because you love me and, let’s face it, you need to suckle at the teat for the weekly nourishment I offer. Go ahead, tell me I am wrong…I’ll wait. Right, I didn’t think so. So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, convicts and peepers I give you Week 5’s Hit It or Quit It (sponsored by Irish Whiskey). Enjoy the feast.

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After dropping 32 on New England, Blake Bortles (@ KC) responded the next week with a turd against Tennessee before bouncing back for 23 points against the Jets. Week 5 sees Bortles heading to Kansas City to face the Chiefs who allowed 3 passing TDs a piece in weeks 1 & 2, 2 TD passes in week 3 — and as I’m writing this they’ve held Case Keenum off the board. Blake Bortles is better than anyone gives him credit for — well — he’s at least better than Case Keenum…

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Three overtime games, no ties! I’m the least OCD person you’ll ever meet. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a dirty person. Do I miss the laundry basket from time to time? Sure. But, the dishes get done, the rooms get cleaned, etc etc. One thing that I am OCD about is team records with ties in it. Thet say that ties are like kissing your sister but apparently there is a corner of the internet that is into that, but I haven’t found people that are into ties. Maybe I’m just not into 3rd columns. This could be one of the reasons that I never got into watching soccer or hockey. It makes me cringe when I see the standings. Don’t even ask me to look at the NFC or AFC North standings, woof. It makes the standings look messy and it upsets me that these teams couldn’t figure it out in 70 minutes. If one of the four teams that already has a tie in this young season ends up in another tie this season I will be beside myself. How do you figure out playoff scenarios for teams with TWO (2) ties? I don’t have to worry about it for now so there is no reason to get too stressed out about it. Let’s talk about some games, shall we?

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Welcome to week 4 of this NFL season. Ratings are booming on Thursday nights, the games are good, football is football again. If you weren’t aware, I’ll be taking in the scenery at Soldier Field watching the Bear’s defensive line eat Ryan Fitzpatrick alive. I will be handling most of your morning questions, but any questions that I don’t get to, Reid has you covered. Reid will also be leading off the game reviews on Monday and I will have a follow up around lunchtime. If you’d like to check out our rankings, we have some from ZachJay, and myself.

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What’s going on everyone, and welcome to another fantastic fall Saturday as we draw closer to another Sunday full of NFL football! Week 4 got off to a great start on Thursday night thanks to the high-powered offenses of the Rams and Vikings, and we should be in for some more exciting football tomorrow.

Let’s get to it!

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Well, the first 3 weeks have just flown by and we’re almost done with Alvin Kamara as the solo RB on a team that throws 44 times a game, along with Michael Thomas ridiculous more TDs than incompletions. And even though you may think you know exactly what’s going to happen, projections like the ones here at Razzball will do a few things. First, they give you that base you need to make sure you’re not doing anything wildly stupid. Secondly, they give you options and other play ideas. You’ll notice that a sometimes I say that Rudy’s projections love a guy, and i’m not sure why but we go with it anyway. It’s because the projections take into account way more variables than our human brains can. The other thing that we’ve seen from the first 3 weeks, and it meshes with my philosophy – #NeverRun #AirRaid.

On to the picks…

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Ladies and Gentleman, Happy Friday! The first quarter of the NFL season is coming to a quick close. We are reaching a point in the season where we will start to see teams and players take off. It’s well documented, with how the NFL pre-season is treated, that September is a slow start for teams. The Patriots are a prime example. I see team owners on twitter freaking out and jumping ship on players that they invested a lot of draft capital.

In the wise words of William Wallace,”Hold…Hold…Hold.” I understand, easier said than done if you are staring at a 0-3 start and losing studs to injury. Speaking first hand, I am still holding on to Chris Hogan and Derrick Henry but time is running out. Don’t get me wrong, I have dropped both players in various leagues but not giving up 100% stock. All I’m suggesting is don’t get “too cute” yet and drop players just to pick up a RB4, WR4/5 that had one good week while your team is just warming up. I would not drop Hogan or Henry for, let’s just say, Aldrick Robinson who had two receiving touchdowns in the TNF Vikings @ Rams game. After this week we will get a green light on dropping some of these players.

I’ll get off my soap box and get to the Bad Boyz of week 4 but if you have questions, on guys you are fighting with dropping or keeping on your roster, leave a note in the comments or @ me on twitter.

Alright let us get to it, we have a few new offenders to present to you this week. Also, we have a clearer picture and update on repeat offenders with a couple getting released on good…bad behavior.

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