What’s going on everyone, and welcome to the eighth week of the 2018 NFL season! I hope you guys all had a great Week 8 thanks to some awesome performances from James Conner, Deshaun Watson, Cam Newton, Todd Gurley, Marlon Mack, Mike Evans, Adrian Peterson, Marvin Jones, and Sammy Watkins (of all people!)

Below are my rankings for Week 9, for all scoring systems, so enjoy!

And like always, be sure to check out Rudy’s fantastic premium tools here, and follow myselfMB, and Jay on Twitter.

In the meantime, I’ll be back on Saturday for the ninth edition of my 2018 Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em series!

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The sausage lovers are back at it again this week, talking rookie wide receivers. Donkey Teeth gushes over his freshly realized love for the rookie receiver class as a whole while B_Don is a little more reserved with his heart. 

The guys go in depth on their profiles of rookie speedsters DJ Moore, Christian Kirk, and Keke Coutee while also re-visiting Antonio Callaway and Tre’Quan Smith. Find out how to prioritize all the rookie WRs for the rest of this season. 

And don’t miss the A-hole of the week along with a quick session of Sausage, Cheesehead, Ditka featuring Da Bears own Tarik Cohen and Drew Brees. Put some premium sausage in your mouth right here:

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Since it is a big news day, let’s fuse what would have been two posts into one. I’ll put my week 9 rankings at the bottom for your viewing pleasure. But, let’s talk about the trade deadline first. Things certainly heated up after lunch on the NFL trading circuit. We had a couple of major moves at the wide receiver position that has an impact on a lot of players. Demaryius Thomas was traded from the Denver Broncos to the Houston Texans and Golden Tate was traded from the Detroit Lions to the Philadelphia Eagles.

We have to keep in mind that players going to a new team in the middle of the season may not hit the ground running. Look at Josh Gordon so far this season with the Patriots. He’s productive, but he’s not the WR1 that he has the potential of being with the Patriots down the line.

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Seriously. I could not wait for Monday Night Football just to listen to the absolute nonsense from Jason Witten and Booger McFarland, the latter of which should be prepared for someone in the crowd to black out and see a table on top of the #BoogerMobile. But despite that disaster of a football game taking place, let’s look back at at some of the action from Sunday’s games…

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Welcome back, my Lovelies, to another e-rousing week of Hit it or Quit it, with Yours Truly, your Goddess of Innuendo. I missed you all last week but the Dungeon was due for a scrub down. It looked like a Jackson Pollock painting in here. It was unbelievable. One just can’t seem to find good cleaning help these days.

Aside from the bleachy scrubdown, it was a pretty good week for your Mistress. I went a respectable 5-0 this week. Yep, even in my sacrificial league I managed to eke out a win with a measly 95.00 points. I am convinced the person I was playing against was either kidnapped for organ harvesting or has a huge crush on me and decided to toss me a freebie. Either way, I was very appreciative. Hopefully, if his organs were harvested, they spared the eyes, because I don’t want to lose a loyal reader, especially when I didn’t profit from black market organ sales. If it was for crush reasons, thanks, Boo!

I was once again spared this week, but it seems like the Black Widow Curse had a feast of epic proportions on her favorite meal…ACL’s. That being said, I still have Leonard Fournette squatting on my roster and not paying any rent or fees. With the bye this week, I am optimistic I can and will be able to finally whip him out next week, but we shall see.

Halloween is tomorrow, so I am ready to give you all some treats (tricks for those of you who are diabetic or have no teeth) and I am sure you are eagerly waiting to see what tidbits I toss you this week. So, ladies and gentlemen, convicts and perverts, bow before me and worship as I give you what you all came for, Week 9, Hit it or Quit It.

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David Moore (vs LAC): Moore enjoyed his third straight double-digit fantasy point game and third-straight game with a TD reception. He’s doing this on not a lot of receptions (average of 3 in his last 3 games,) but while Russell Wilson has his number he’s definitely worth picking up if he can continue building his chemistry with Wilson.

D.J. Moore (vs TB): Moore finished Sunday’s game against the Ravens first in receptions, yards and targets in their receiving game for 17 fantasy points. Ifb is really having shoulder issues he could continue to dump short and medium length passes to Moore. In week 8 his longest reception was only 33 yards and in the three weeks prior to that it was only 20 yards. Moore is going to benefit from Cam’s less.

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Readers, I am a hot little potato this morning. I decided to dabble in a little offshore gambling this past weekend as I sometimes do. You know what? My day was going pretty well. The Panthers covered in a pretty worry-free affair. The Cardinals marched down and scored a game winning touchdown on the final drive. I’m sitting at 2-0 thinking that there is no way that I am getting to 3-0 because I laid 7.5 points and took the Rams. All of a sudden, the Packers fumble the kick off with two minutes to go in the fourth quarter. I have life! The Rams have the ball at the 20 and the best running back in football. The Packers best chance of getting the ball back is letting Gurley walk in the end zone and hope for a missed extra point. 

The first two plays were dumb reverses and now all of a sudden, it is 3rd down with just under a minute to go. The Rams snap it and toss the ball to Todd Gurley with blockers ahead of him. Gurley busts through the first ten yards, the play is looking good. Gurley is outrunning everybody and has a clear path to the end zone that he makes 10 out of 10 times. He stops. Right at the damn 5 or so yard line. My heart sinks. It’s the smartest football play he could’ve made. But C’MON GURLEY! Pad those stats and pad my wallet in the process. Team players aren’t good for fantasy or gambling, folks. I’ll take my fury out on these game review takes. 

Be sure to check out our most popular tool, the trade analyzer. You like to trade? Rudy would love to help! It’s free, comprehensive, and simple to use. 

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Happy Halloween folks, can you guess who I am? If you guessed press conference Ryan Fitzpatrick you are absolutely correct. If you guessed low level Italian mobster who is a fan of lunch meats and cheeses that is also a good guess. It looks like a bunch of Jaguars players got arrested 12 hours before kickoff so start your Eagles! DeSean Jackson has also requested a trade so that is something to think about. He could see some extra love today from Jameis to boost his trade value. He has the option to get out of his contract at the end of the season so why not get as much as they can for him?

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We finally have a decision on Todd Gurley. He’s been an absolute stone cold mortal lock so far this season given that he’s been under $10K for most of the season and was only $10.2K last week – an insanely cheap price given the team he plays for and the role he has on it (namely, that once the Rams get into the red zone, something they do with insane frequency, they just give it to Gurley and let him run it in, and also, they’re the best team in football so they have a big lead late and let Gurley get all the kill-clock yards in the 4th quarter). FanDuel finally jacked his price up to something like $1,000,000,000 (note – it may just be $11,000, as I may be exaggerating for comedic effect). Now it becomes a decision. He’s still an absolute monster. But is he worth it? Ultimately it’ll come down to how comfortable you are with the value that you’ll need to play to roster him. And if you’re unsure on who to play, check out Rudy’s projections here at Razzball!

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