Jam it or Cram it: Blame it on the Rainey

The possibilities are nearly endless with the Bobby Rainey references. Who knew Bobby Rainey would go off for nearly 35 fantasy points and start trending on Twitter? Some of my faves include #ItsRaineyMen, #NovemberRainey, #ChocolateRainey and #SomewhereOverTheRaineyBow. Personally, I went the Milli Vanilli route because I see Bobby Rainey more fraud than Grammy winner. Now and then something comes along that is just too good to be true. Ask Sky about his investment in Planet Hollywood. One of those things was the "band" Milli Vanilli. Back in late 80's, early 90's, your-humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru was trapped in Top 40 radio Hell and forced to spin tunes by MC Hammer, Wilson Phillips and Roxette. I refer to those four years as my "lost weekend." Personally, I believe we all need a few lost years or decades in our lives. It's hard to respect someone that didn't completely piss away their life for at least a year or two doing something crazy like follow the Grateful Dead, travel with the carnival or marry a Russian bride. Unfortunately, I wasted my time playing the lip-sync hits from Milli Vanilli. Blame it on the rain. And the free cocaine. It's time to jam it or cram it.

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RCL Football Update: Week 11

November 19, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 13 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

Ugh... RCL needs a new definition. "Ridiculously Callous Leagues". "Random Chance Leagues". "Really wanna Choke myself Leagues". My teams are tanking worse than M. Night Shyamalan's directorial career. My Writer's League squad has dropped three straight, my RCL team which was decent is looking god awful; it's just been a rough few weeks on virtually all my teams. Stupid Nick's 1-9 team starting Michael Floyd. Fantasy football is all luck [drops mic]. You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory. RCL Top Scorer

TOP SCORER: May the world sing your praises, Puttin on the Fitz, for topping the RCL scoreboard in week 11 and becoming a legend amongst RCL teams. Fitz stomped all over the Rancho Rajneesh league for 191.52 points led by Bobby Rainey in an astute gamble (started in only 3% of Yahoo leagues), LeSean McCoy and the huge Antonio Brown game. Conrgats to the Fitz! Unfortunately that only moves him to 6-5, while the two top RCL teams heading into week 11, Mega Gronk SMASH! and ReadOptionForDummies, both got wins moving to 10-1 and solidify top spots on the RCL leader board.

Lights, Cam, NEWTON!

November 19, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 143 Comments

by: Sky

Football is a funny sport, especially for a team that rarely gets to be in the spotlight. The last time I remember seeing Cam Newton under the watchful eye of prime time, it was Thursday Night Football, week 3 and it was the 2012 season. Heading into the game, the Panthers were 1-1 and were fresh off a win over a division rival - the New Orleans Saints - and were riding high. It was Cam's second season in the league and people were expecting great things from the young man. And then September 20th happened and the good times left the building. Cam and company left their home turf after a humiliating loss at the hands of the Giants. After a 36-7 loss, a lot of people - both fantasy enthusiasts and real - began to question Supermans superpowers. Was the guy that looked like he was pouting on the sidelines under his towel really a leader? Was the guy who just threw 3 interceptions really the person that was gonna bring Carolina back to prominence? And so on and so forth and the rest of the season played out and people forgave but never forgot the towel-covered Cam. He was a childish athlete who'd never learn how to play within the game, they said. An egotistical prat who lacked the ability to guide a team to victory, they chattered. And for most of 2012, the people were right. But some light must've popped on at the end of 2012 as they went on to win 5 of their last 6. Sure, the Panthers finished 7-9 but there were flashes of the team we saw on Monday last year. We were just too blinded by Cam hatred to see. And of that Cam hatred? Well, to help his team go to 8-3 on the 2013 season, Newton finished with 209 passing yards and 3 passing TDs while leading his team in rushing on the night with 62. Yeah, but you ain't talking fantasy, Sky, this is all about real football. No one cares. Well you SHOULD care, imaginary reader. This team is fighting for the playoffs. It has motivation and incentive down the stretch to actually win their division and a supercharged Cam can be a Superman Cam at any moment and tonight he definitely was that. Cam looked better than he has in a while in the passing game. I don't know if it was his receivers stepping up or him playing at another level - I'll defer towards the former but that's cuz Cam's been pretty damn good all year, y'all - but there's reason for JB to be pointing at the back of that jersey tonight. Cam is legit. Panthers are legit. And now I have to write about other guys and I'm completely spent. In other news from week 11 MNF for the 2013 Fantasy Football season...

The Razzball Football Podcast – The One Where JB Does A One Man Show

November 18, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Razzball Podcast | 14 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

The Razzball Podcast returns, and appropriately for a week of no-shows from several fantasy studs, it's only me manning the podcast with super producer Kyle turning the knobs. We would survive a zombie invasion, Kyle! I recap all the action from week 11 including the Bobby Rainey breakout, why I'm still in love with Kris Durham and my DraftKings picks in my quest for a ticket into the Week 17 Millionaire Finale. I also go into why Nick's Writers League team is a piece of hot garbage. If your game hinges on tonight's game, good luck and be rooting for my Panthers!

Bucs Were Saving Bobby For A Rainey Day

November 18, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 169 Comments

by: Sky

I swear, players with names like this were made for Razzball. Do you know how many puns I'm gonna squeeze out of this down the stretch with him? Trust me, you don't even know. But more to the point, we here have been all over this guy this week. This isn't an 'I toldja so' but I do hope you all listened to the Razzball Podcast on Tuesday when I said you should pick up Chris Rainey. Then I hope you read the first comment on the Podcast post where I clarified who I was talking about. Anyone out there picking up the 5th string RB for the Steelers...mea culpa. Hopefully you read my BUY column on the following day and made sure it was Bobby Rainey. Sure, I didn't tell you to start him but Tampa Bay said Leonard was starting. And clearly Tampa Bay never lies...wait, what? Neverthewho! Finally, as if we didn't treat you like a baby seal enough, we clubbed you over the head on Friday with J-FOH making Rainey the lead in The Handcuff Report. All this to say, unless you were in a coma for the last week, we got you in early on this gem. And if you're reading us first after coming out of a coma, thank you! Now you should really put life in perspective if we're the first thing you think of upon waking from something like that. But now that we're done slapping each other on the ass for the good call over here, let's get to the numbers: Rainey carried the load in Tampa with 30 carries for 163 yards and 2 TDs on the ground while chipping in 2 for 4 through the air and another score. Yes, that's three TDs from a guy who's 23% owned as of mid-day Sunday which probably means he was owned under 10% prior to games starting. Seriously guys, put it at automatic waivers when Sundays start. Cheaters! But more about Bobby: that boy ain't right...to opposing defenses. There was a lot of concern about his size holding him back from being a lead RB but all I have to say to that is Warrick Dunn. Bobby (5-8, 212) and Warrick (5-9, 180) have a little in common in that area. Everyone wants to pick on the little guy back there but little doesn't mean these guys can't carry the load when presented. Looking forward, Rainey had a nice matchup against a Falcons team that has given up plenty on the ground to fantasy backs on the year so I'm not going to anoint him straight away. I'd like to see a little adversity before I do that but I do think if you nabbed him, you've got a mid-tier RB2 right now with explosive upside and the potential to make up for all the RB heartache you've no doubt suffered to date. Here's to Rainey making you into the Reigning champion this year. See? We got this for days, people. In other news from Sunday of week 11 for 2013 Fantasy Football...

Last Second Decisions – Fight Or Flight

November 17, 2013 | Last Second Decisions | 130 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

So I finally got to watching Flight last night, and I love the way it made me think of fantasy. Mostly because most of my teams make me want to go on one of those Denzel benders. But seriously, I loved the tie in of flight or flight. The majority of owners with bad teams flight it away and don't check their teams, however some of us fight it out, invert the plane and try to save our dignity. As much as I tried to skirt past with the lies and manipulation ("my team sucks because everyone got hurt!"), I finally fessed up, got a lot of courage and purported "I drafted bad, I managed bad week one, I managed bad week two, I'm managing bad now!" And with a little bit of good fortune and waiver wire moves, I turned a 14-teamer where I drafted in order (and this is no joke) Ray Rice, Stephen Jackson, Randall Cobb, Marques Colston, Ryan Mathews, Daryl Richardson, T.Y. Hilton (that one worked!), Kenbrell Thompkins and Michael Vick into an actual playoff contending team. None of those guys I was particularly high on - just how the draft played out - and through a series of moves and pickups I'm 4-6 and a game out of the playoffs. Fight! This is a pivotal week for me and I'm sure a lot of teams in Razzball Nation as we start getting into the playoff push crunch time.

The Handcuff Report – Love Rainey O’er Me

November 16, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Handcuff Report | 56 Comments

by: J-FOH

Why did I pick up Bobby Rainey, the guy who was waived by the Cleveland Browns back in October? This move makes me feel dirty, not pigpen dirty, but the I just picked up a hooker in an alley dirty. Maybe I should go back to the beginning. *wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines* I drafted Doug Martin in the hopes he would lead me to championship glory. He's PPR gold and that's all I play, standard makes me fall asleep from boredom. But nope, that was an unwise selection. Hey I listened to Sky and I was so pissed at him that I hopped on a little plane, flew to where he lives, got drunk and told him off. What can I say, I really think my insults are better in person. OK, now I grab Mike James who drops 158 on the Seahawks and makes me think that maybe I scored some pure lottery type luck. Nope, that's strike two on your hopes and dreams. Now what do I do, Tampa is cursed, they lost their QB who woke up one day and said "I suck", a bunch of them got MRSA, their coach is a dick, and now Brian Leonard is the lead back. Wait!....What? Bobby Rainey looked so good on Monday night, "well Jack he was playing the weak rush D of the Dolphins", that is true diligent commenter. But Really? I know what I'll do, I'll grab both and beat the devil at his own game. Damn, this shizz is making me depressed. Rainey has the upside here. If you don't already own him I would grab him. Bucs are showing signs of life and I think every current and former Browns running back is better than T-Rich. Yup, I would drop T-Rich for Rainey. If you're going to go for it then I would go grab Rainey and hopefully the curse of the Bucs is over and they all play really well ROS.

Sawbones Scribings Week 11 – Arian Foster’s Bad Disc Crashes Houston Offense

November 15, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Injury Report | 11 Comments

by: Andrew Nordmeier

The big injury news of the week is Houston running back Arian Foster undergoing back surgery to repair and alleviate issues stemming from a disc in his lower back. It’s a good thing this finally happened. He missed OTAs with the issue and was having pain down into this legs during the little time he was on the field a training camp. What is a ruptured disc anyways? When a disc is ruptured, the jelly-like shock-absorbing “filling” for lack of a better term oozes out. When that does, it can put pressure onto the spinal cord itself and that could be the source of the pain for Foster. Other symptoms include pain and weakness in the legs (not good for a running back), shooting pains when doing simple things like sneezing or using the toilet, and a low chance of loss of control in the bladder and/or bowel. Maybe that explains why Houston has crapped the bed for the last two months and lost seven in a row—ruptured disc.

Hard Targets: John Carlson Returns Like Jesus

November 15, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Hard Targets | 24 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

MFer I'm a monster in this game, similar to the Lochness. My writing's nappy rooted, all my pieces have a process. Greetings all! Tis I, Beddict, back with more fantasy football goodness, and boy am I excited tonight. No, not because Chris Johnson scored 2 TDs on Thursday night football, but for the reason that more biblical fairy tales are being turned into movies. If you're anything like me, you've been hungrily awaiting a Passion of the Christ sequel. We aren't receiving that YET, but it's bound to happen some day right. We can always count on Uncle Mel to deliver us the classics. Instead we get my main man Russell Crowe in the blockbuster, Noah, and man does it look scrumptious. While it doesn't have Gibson's maniacal touch, it does reunite Crowe with Jennifer Connelly as they, with God's help, wipe the face of the earth of all other human life. The Elder Gods laugh hysterically about these children's tails but one has to wonder how Hollywood has waited so long to turn these fascinating works of fiction into billion dollar hits. This is only the beginning as we should soon expect big budget pictures about Peter walking on water, the Ethiopian in the desert, the stoning of Stephen, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea, Daniel in the lion's den, and the aforementioned Christ sequel. I for one am praying on a trilogy depicting the battle of David and Goliath, Hobbit style. Peter Jackson would be a perfect fit in bringing these storybooks to life and if the Gods will it, Elijah Wood could even play the role of David. Hollywood is sitting on a goldmine and we are the main benefactors. Rejoice! I should probably now write something regarding football since that's why they pay me the big bucks. Let's lead off with John Carlson since he seemingly returned from the dead like Jesus Christ himself. Take heed. I should probably now write something regarding football since that's why they pay me the big bucks. Let's lead off with John Carlson since he seemingly returned from the dead like Jesus Christ himself. Take heed.

Donald Trumps Irsay

November 15, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 159 Comments

by: Sky

Let's face it, the Colts have had a pretty rough year at the running back position to date. After throwing down some cash on Ahmad Bradshaw to be their lead back in the off-season, Bradshaw only plays in three games and doesn't even register fifty total touches before going down for the rest of the season with a major, career-threatening injury. His backup? Well that would be none other than Vick Ballard who went down after game one of the season with a torn ACL. And as we know, the Colts got bold and traded for T-Rich and well...yeah, we all know how well that's going. But underneath the inconsistency and frustration, a man has been playing lights out with limited touches and even less fanfare for Indy. Well, until Thursday Night Football that is. Donald Brown has been the supposed backup or third stringer in the Colts offense since game one of the season but most likely bought himself a bit more playing time rolling forward after his 14 carries for 80 yards and 2 touchdowns while chipping in 14 on a catch. Many forget Brown himself was a first round pick out of Connecticut in 2009 but it's for good reason: he's performed nowhere near this level his entire career. The hesitant DB we all know from the past seems to have vanished and a confident, quick bursting Donald has emerged. Despite the Colts offensive line woes, DB has averaged 5.9 yards per carry this season and looks to get a few more touches moving forward after tonight's performance. After all the off-season movement that has led to wasted money and draft picks, Donald can finally drag Irsay into the board room and utter those infamous words: you're fired. In other news from TNF for 2013 Fantasy Football...

Weekly IDP Rankings: Week Eleven For 2013 Fantasy Football

November 14, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 27 Comments

by: Kevin Kumpf

As we enter the home stretch of the regular season, there are no more surprises. Any sleeper who is going to break out (Robert Quinn, Kiko Alonso, Barry Church), has already made the leap. Any veteran who is going to lose a step (Justin Smith, London Fletcher, Yeremiah Bell), has already disappointed. At this point in the season there are no surprises, and, barring injury, most players are who they are.

Here are some notable performances or possible one-week wonders from Week 10 that are worth looking at for the final three weeks of the regular season:

Bet the Farm: NFL Week 11 Betting Contest

November 14, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Bet The Farm | 15 Comments

by: Josh Carey

Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.

Standings After Week 9: