Greetings! Did you all enjoy that exhilarating Hall of Fame game as much as I did? Landry Jones looks about as valuable as Kim Kardashian before she so eloquently played the meat flute on camera. Seriously, preseason football is harder to watch than that Hulk Hogan sex tape, you know the one where he simultaneously drilled his best friend’s ex-wife AND managed to slip the “N” word out multiple times? Okay, enough about sex tapes. You’re not here to listen to me bash celebrities (or are you?). You’re here to get Beddict’s take on the TE position, a position that I must admit, I’m a little down on this season. Jimmy Graham has been traded away from a high-flying passing attack to a ground-and-pound system that is bound to disappoint. I’d say it’s akin to the falloff from season one of True Detective to season two.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

Yes, he should still be a red zone threat and lead the Seahawks in receptions, but Graham is no longer anything resembling a first round selection. We also have former young hog, Julius Thomas leaving Peyton Manning for Blaine Gabbert Jr. Blake Bortles, dropping him faster in the rankings than Oprah Winfrey off the high dive. Former freak show Vernon Davis is coming off a pathetically disgusting season and can no longer be counted on as a top-5 option (though I do like him to bounce back to a degree). The ancient Antonio Gates is missing the first four games for roiding up and Charles Clay has left a good situation and landed in one where he’ll be lucky to break 35 catches on the season. Yes, my goodmen, this shizz is all fuzzed up. Go deep into the mind of Beddict in my rankings below, and read about a few players I expect to either blow up or do us dirtier than Chris Farley’s drawls after an all night bender (RIP) and see how it makes you feel. Sexually charged, I hope.


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Tight Ends that will Delight: 

frank-alexander-austin-seferian-jenkins-nfl-carolina-panthers-tampa-bay-buccaneers

Austin Seferian-Jenkins – Who, oh who, does a rookie quarterback rely on when the going gets rougher than Christian Slater movie critics? How about this 2nd year behemoth ASJ, a University of Washington legend, a man with more length than a half-chubbed Manute Bol. Yes, Jenkins was a disappointment last year, totaling only 21 receptions and two touchdowns but reports are out that the big homey is balling out control right now. TE’s are known to take a huge leap in their second year, and Jenkins is a guy I can see leaping into the top-10 before the season is over, and a player I’d suggest targeting late in the draft if you’re going to wait on the position.

Crockett Gillmore/Maxx Williams – Whoever wins this job is going to put up numbers… Remember it, write it down, take a picture of it. I don’t give a f##k!!! Steve Smith is older than Christ and 1st round pick, Breshad Perriman, is both raw and hampered by an injury. Dennis Pitta may never play again and Joe Flacco has to get elite with someone, don’t he? As you can see, I have Williams ranked much higher as of now, as he’s a touchdown machine with higher upside, but if he struggles in camp and Gillmore seizes the job, I expect the big dog to eat and I will adjust my rankings accordingly. Both of them should end up with solid numbers when the season is finished, as this is definitely one of the more intriguing position battles of the pre-season.

 

Tight Ends that will Disgrace:

Charles Clay  With Sammy Watkins, Percy Harvin, Robert Woods, and LeSean McCoy in place, when exactly is Clay supposed to get the ball? I suppose one could argue that whoever ends up starting for Buffalo at quarterback will be so pathetic that he’ll be dumping the ball short to his safety net tight end at a high rate but I just don’t envision that happening. All the aforementioned players are studs and there’s simply not enough balls to go around (that’s what she said). You have to be realistic about these things.

Josh Hill – This one that could come back to bite me in the hairy raisin, but from what I’ve seen from Hill in the past, he’s got absolutely nothing on Jimmy Graham. Yes, I’ve read the combine reports, about how Hill actually out-tested Graham in many of the drills, but I’ve also seen the guy play, and Benjamin Watson’s older-than-dirt ass is still listed as the starter. I’m taking a wait-and-see approach and I’m not going to reach just because he’s sliding into Jimmy’s spot. The Saints will definitely be running the ball more, and have added C.J. Spiller to catch balls out of the backfield replacing some of what Graham was able to do. Again, Hill could drop double digit TDs and make me look like a buffoon (It’s happened before) but he likely won’t be on any of my rosters. If he shows out in preseason, I may change my tune. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict,  he’s open minded.

 

 

Thank you for joining me for another edition of my pre-season rankings. As per usual, your comments and questions will be responded to in the comment section below. I’m leaving for Canada again, but I should be able to get enough reception to respond. Have a super weekend.

  1. Harvey Wallbangers says:
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    14-team H2H league .5 ppr

    I can keep up to 3 players. Best 3 options are:

    LaFell for 12th
    Smith Sr for 9th
    Blue for 11th

    I have no 10th round draft pick that’s why Smith is a 9th. But thoughts on these 3?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Harvey Wallbangers: @Harvey Wallbangers: all solid. I don’t love Lafell but they probably all worth these puck selections. I feel it. Blue is wildcard and at this point I’m kind of doubting he stars so possibly not worth the pick

  2. mike says:
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    Do you think if you don’t get one of the top five guys you wait on a guy like maxx willans to be your starter?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @mike: yea. I mean, you should be able to get guys after top 5 pretty much anywhere. Need to see where Maxx ends up on depth chart. Or draft both

  3. toppleprone says:
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    the Ertz hype is out of control again this year.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @toppleprone: it really is!!! But , I mean, it has to be his year. Top 2 receivers gone fro. Last two years. He should eat heavy,right? Buuuuut, it’s not gonna be me buying him haha

  4. toppleprone says:
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    Bold call on Crockett Gillmore/Maxx Williams. Gillmore is a blocking TE and Williams is underwhelming. I think people are forgetting that Forsett has hands and will do really well in Trestman’s offense. See Matt Forte. I’m not expecting big things from a Baltimore TE this year.

    You’re also overlooking the growth of Marlon Brown and Aiken. Always nice to hear a vet like Smith endorse basically his younger self in Deandre Carter. On paper the Raven’s WR core looks like it will lead to more PA to the TE but I don’t really see it. Flacco isn’t afraid to sling it. Just my 2cents though for whatever that is worth.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @toppleprone: I’m not overlooking Aiken or brown. Both FINALLY Showed something this year but uhhhh they need some big bodies across the middle. Flacco has always liked the tight end.

      I do appreciate your input. It’s an interesting situation

  5. Baren says:
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    Nobody seems to be talking about Virgil Green in Denver. I don’t forsee Owen Daniels staying healthy and over the past few years Peyton has loved his TE in the red zone.

    What are your thoughts on VG? I can’t find much on him and think he might be a super deep sleeper that could deliver a huge return. Do you have any info on him?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Baren: nice deep sleeper. Owen Daniels is hella injury prone so you spot on. From what I’ve seen from. green he doesn’t look that exciting but would definitely ball if only option

  6. IV says:
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    What is the earliest you would take Gronk in a 12 team .5 PPR League? a 1 PPR league?

    What are your thoughts on Tyler Eifert this year?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @IV: first overall??? Wow. Not that high but around the 7 or 8 mark is doable for me. For me personally, I’d be tempted around the 10 spot but he may be gone before then

  7. FrankGrimes says:
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    I’m hoping everyone feels the same as you on Julius this year.
    I think he gonna ball for cheap this year.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @FrankGrimes: Frank!!!! Don’t just speak on it. Tell me what his numbas gon b, playa.

      P.s.

      I’ve missed you

  8. Slamhole says:
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    No Richard Rodgers anywhere?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Slamhole: oversight by me. I like him. He will be moved into top 30. Maybe top 20. Should have solid year. These are preliminary but I will update it.

  9. BP says:
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    I love that Ladarius Green went from everybody’s lover to 15th round fodder in less than a year when he has far more opportunity this season. Will find his way to every roster of mine. (And potentially every single one of my waiver wires by 10/1).

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @BP: Bpeeeeeeezy, I like your style. love the guy’s talent. hope he gets the opps after gates injury. i feel you tho cuz

  10. The Bugeater says:
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    Always a good read, Tehol. Hunter S would be proud, and probably a bit annoyed. But that’s the way he is/was. And I thank you……..

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @The Bugeater: Thank you, my goodman. I have missed you

  11. A Wesley Snipes Life says:
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    the plot of season 2 was actually much better, it’s just the roles/chemistry of the actors was so great in the first season. Not denying that didn’t make it better than new season overall. Season 1 they just happen to find out it’s a half retarded sister F’er gardener who did it? really.

    • A Wesley Snipes Life says:
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      @A Wesley Snipes Life: and if people follow your rankings a lot of folks are gonna get VD (don’t do it!) that dude’s been shit ever since 2014 fantasy super bowl where he dropped 3-4 balls and had zero pts when all i needed was 1.3 in one super bowl and like .6 in another. Then last year turned awful up to 11.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @A Wesley Snipes Life: who and what are we discussing here, my friend???? I’m lost in the sauce and need guidance

      • A Wesley Snipes Life says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: first comment about TD season 2 vs 1. 2nd about how high you have vernon davis and how it’ll feel like your readers will “get VD” if they draft that hump.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @A Wesley Snipes Life: i thought you were talking about a TV show? sorry, I’m on heavy muscle relaxers with neck injury. I’m not following. i get the Vern thing hahahah.

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