Greetings! Is it Week 3, already?! Holy O’hemlock, time is flying by, yet it’s frozen for me somehow. As I lay here, chest’a-flat on this one of a kind gargoyle-engraved marble bench in the depths of Beddict manor, I can’t help but question some of my life choices as I ponder my next move. I envision that many of you may feel the same way: Did you marry the right squaw/man? Why did you let him/her talk you into that third pet, or third child for that matter? Why is your son a quarter black? Why are you in that cubicle, working for some filth you despise, checking your Facebook account every five minutes, wondering if you should buy that seemingly incredibly crafted waist-trainer for your significant other? Would that make you want to bang him/her again? Probably not, but it’s something to waste more meaningless time with, giving you a glimmer of hope that one day, MAYBE, possibly, you could make love to your mate again and not have to envision some celebrity, hot third cousin, or you children’s friends or whatever sick fetish that is now festering inside you like a rotting, maggot-infested weasel corpse. Anyway, who’s ready for some football?

Razzball Football’s partner FantasyDraft is starting a new sign-up promotion this week, all new depositing signups receive a free $4 “Everyone Wins” NFL GPP ticket for the upcoming Sunday slate along with offering all players 4% cash back on their initial deposits! 

For taking the time to read this post, I say thank-ya. Say thank-ya Big-big. I am Tehol Beddict and these are my week three rankings. TAKE HEED!
 

 

 

Cam Newton has not struck true as of yet and with his bum shoulder still not rotating fluidly, like an orgasming octopi, Killa Cam has underwhelmed the masses through two weeks. Should we be concerned? Fret not, my goodmen, for the Saints of New Orleans are marching into Carolina, and they come with holes already cut between the tights that contain their muscled butt cheeks. First, they made peasant King, Sam Bradford, into King Arthur, famed master of Camelot and owner of the masterful Merlin, who created the first butt-plugs in our world’s great history. Then, Tom Brady, the man who failed to practice safe sex, bastardizing his son, with the forgotten and beleaguered, Bridget Moynahan, pulled his jock-strap aside and did the same to the Saints defense, for they are now all his children. Gisele would see them cast out into the outer-lands, where they would be forced to fend for themselves against monstrosities of the likes you and I have never before witnessed, but we no longer run our civilization that way, for better or for worse.

Newton is my number one quarterback this week and you mustn’t argue it, not unless you want to wake up screaming in the night, howling in terror, sweating like an alter-boy in church who saw the priest chugging the sacramental wine before the service. For he/she who crosses Beddict, the man who deals in lead and shaft, usually, if not always, lives to rue the day they denied the holiness spewed from the fingertips of the Elder born savant. You’ve got be realistic about these things.

  1. Mak says:
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    in a half ppr league, would you rather have kupp or jermaine kearse for rest of season.

    • Mak says:
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      @Mak: i can also drop tevin coleman. to pick up kearse. what you think?

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Mak: I’d need to see your roster but, no, probably not

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Mak: Kearse. The Two balls one Kupp stuff has gotten out of hand. This isn’t close for me

      • Mak says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: my roster is:
        WR: antonio brown, doug baldwin, sammy watkins, garcon, kupp,
        RB: kareem hunt, ingram, demarco murray, terrence west, joe mixon, tevin coleman.

        • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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          @Mak: yes, drop Kupp for Kearse. Yes, I say

  2. Christian herman says:
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    Why the love for Graham in a world where there is no love for Graham

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Christian herman: it will depend on injury status but do you really believe he will be useless all season if healthy? The tight end production is almost impossible to predict so with all things being considered, especially that of Jimmy being a Demi-God he gets he benefit of the doubt. I apologize if this hurts you, my goodman. Many blessings

  3. Jay says:
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    I am really on the fence about trading Gurley to take advantage of his great start. My main targets are Leveon and Ezekiel, and I was just wondering who you would add in out of Murray, Fitz, Javarious Allen/TWest to make it happen. I know they are all on different tiers, but I am just not sure where to value them at the moment when trying to get top 3 backs. I kind of have to keep Fitz since my only other receivers are K. Allen and DThomas, but my gut was saying to involve him in the deal. Any help is greatly appreciated!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Jay: bruh, feel free to dump Fitz in the trade. Fitz is old. fitz is wrinkled. Fitz is ….dare I say….washed? I’m not willing to go that far but yea if you can add him and Gurley for either, preferably Bell, go ahead. West would be best option but I’m guessing he doesn’t want that

  4. Biggie Smalls Wood says:
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    Hey Tehol! It’s thirsty Thursday!!! lol I’m on my 4th cup of coffee I have a new born lots of late nights!
    I was so out of it at 3am when I was making the bottle & spilled the formula on the counter

    Any who .5 PPR league

    My RBs Gordon, hunt, mcaffery, Abdullah, Carson, Chris Johnson, chark west

    My WRs. We start 3 but could be 4 with flex. Keenan Allen, Alshon, martavis Bryant, Parker, Golladay, snead, hogan & Marshall.

    — based on this info would you consider offering these trade proposals? These are just ideas:

    1.) package Abdullah + either hogan or Golladay to receive Brandin Cooks. Trying to buy Cooks low, since he’s starting slow & he’s boom/bust don’t wanna give up the farm.
    — his RB situation: buck Allen is prob his best RB, also has Stewart, Ingram, sims, vereen
    — his WR situation, looking at it now he has Cooks on his bench: besides cooks he has theilen, Cobb, Sanu, JJ Nelson , Jordan Matthews, amendola.
    — I don’t want anyone else on his team via trades

    2.) Mr tyreek hill. Thinking of buying low on him my sending Abdullah straight up & going from there? Or should I include Golladay?
    — this owners RB situation: Freeman, Charles, Blount, dmc & Burkhead.
    — this owners WR situation: Michael Thomas, davante Adams, tyreek hill, Britt, Torrey smith & Corey Davis. As you can tell zero quality RB depth.
    Heck what about my Abdullah + Either martavis Bryant + hogan to receive Michael Thomas + either Adams or hill or maybe Burkhead?

    3.) this one is on the lines of a fire work trade, but seeing who you’d package on my roster to acquire Amari Cooper, I’m facing the Cooper owner he has both Cooper & Crabtree. Alshon + Abdullah + Golladay? Too much just right ?

    4.)Another owner has AJ green, Jordy, Watkins, d-jax, moncrief, Shepard, ginn, marvin jones.
    — who on my team would you offer for either green or Jordy? Or do I not have enough ammo to pull those off?
    His RBs are fine with Lamar Miller, gurley, zeke Elliot, gore, jaquizz.

    Last week I got Cohen on waivers & flipped him & my maclin to Jordan Howard owner for Keenan Allen.
    I lost DJ, just trying to piece my team together in different ways I am 1-1 on this young season.

    I have one delusional owner who’s been sending me awful trades to me :

    Last week wanted my martavis Bryant for his John brown. The day he was ruled out lol!

    Lol then yesterday he sent me one my D Parker for his marqise lee , I feel I could get more for Parker. lol should I counter my Parker for his kelce? Hmm (my TE is hunter Henry who I got round 15 who I’m happy with.) lol this same guy sent me a trade after the draft my hunt for his eifert. Yes you heard that right

    Lol time for a nap before I’m up late night again!

    Thanks for your insight, also hold onto Marshall or drop for either decker or funchess? Or drop decker to stream a QB this week I have Winston thinking either Wentz or cutler or semien

    • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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      @Biggie Smalls Wood: I feel you big dog! Only my late nights were once filled with drugs and not screaming babies unless you count that one time I was piping my BFF’s baby mother. Let’s see if I can help you here.

      1. Yes, I would offer this in a hummingbird’s heartbeat. Abdullah might not score more than 2 Tubs all season.

      2. I’d absolutely do this as well. Including Gollday if necessary is fine as he will be hit or miss and mostly miss every week.

      3. I think Alshon has a monster season so that’s probably too much minus the probably

      4. You COULD offer Alshon and Abdullah for green tho I doubt he wants abdullah since he stacked. dude, you need a running back not a wr. you are stacked at wideout but if you insist you should package Keenan Allen and Parker for a Green or Cooper. I would target a running back tho. you are absolutely loaded at wideout.

      Yes feel free to offer Parker for Kelce. or one of your other wideouts for an elite tight end. Again, you are stacked at wideout. Thanks for reading!

      • Biggie Smalls Wood says:
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        @Tehol Beddict the God:

        The kelce owner also has j Graham

        Thanks a ton man!! Switching gears on RB side
        I just thought I was a tad bit weaker at WR that’s why I was focusing on WR

        Based on my WRs who would you offer for Montgomery? His WRs are Evans , Baldwin, Tate, mike Wallace , rishard Matthews.
        – his RBs are stacked Ajayi, fournette, Montgomery, sproles, riddick, t west.

        – another owner has gurley, Lamar miller, zeke Elliot, gore, jaquizz. I wouldn’t mind targeting gore for depth

        — maybe is isn’t a good deal but my Martavis Bryant or Parker for Crowell ?

        Trying to see RBs I could buy low on that have the chance to pop

        Thanks again!!

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Biggie Smalls Wood: well, I missed that you had Gordon which is a pretty big deal hahah. You can use a wr and dullah to grab an ultra elite wr if you’d like. I’m sorry I somehow didn’t see Gordo. You’d still have macaffery and Carson! Make the move

          • Biggie Smalls Wood says:
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            @Tehol Beddict:

            lol it’s all good! I was actually thinking of flipping Gordon + either alshon or martavis for zeke Elliot, or flip Gordon for either Freeman, Ajayi, or McCoy or just stick with Gordon I have no issues sticking with Gordon just didn’t know if you like those other backs ROS?

            Yeah totally thinking of dangling Abdullah + WR for Cooks or if that doesn’t work then ill aim for hill.

            In addition I’ll try to deal Parker for kelce :

            Here are deals I did last year lol won some lost some & some were a wash, I made 8 trades in 2016

            1.) first trade I did in 2016 was I sent forsett & got witten.

            2.) next I did was I sent ivory & received Philip Dorsett

            3.) next I did last year bigger deal I sent Hyde & received TY Hilton

            4.) next an owner lost Big Ben last year rivers was my back up , I sent rivers & received Emmanuel sanders

            5.) traded tim Hightower to Ingram owner for Jeremy hill

            6.) traded My Cameron Meredith & received Jamaal Charles

            7.) traded my Corey Coleman & will fuller & received Doug Baldwin

            8.) lastly I traded my TY Hilton & received Dez Bryant

            I’m always up for making moves to improve my squad. Last year week 1 I lost Keenan Allen to injury he was was WR2, nuk Hopkins was junk, lost moncrief for a month or 2 I think he broke his collarbone & Watkins had an injury & returned at seasons end. I would’ve thought I would be screwed with my WRs but made all these moves!

            • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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              @Biggie Smalls Wood: you are a Mfing savant and don’t let anyone tell you differently Sai

  5. Norm MacDonald says:
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    What are your thoughts of Chris Carson and Mixon ROS Tehol? Are they worth holding onto or trading for the likes of Martavis And Dalvin Cook in a 12-team half-PPR?
    I have McCaffrey, Mack, and Burkhead, and good depth at receiver.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Norm MacDonald: you could get Martavis for either? I’d dump Mixon for him without question. Carson about to be a star

      • Norm MacDonald says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:
        Trade would be Mixon, Carson, and Garcon for Martavis and Dalvin…pull the trigger?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Norm MacDonald: f*ck yes, f*ck yes, I say

  6. Mike says:
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    Hi Tehol, love ur work. Have hunt, fournette, stewart , west and kamara and for wideouts have d thomas, obj, desean and Corey Davis. Offered trade of michael thomas and Crowell (or larry fitz if i choose) for my d thomas and desean. I’m getting cold feet, scared of the lackluster weeks from m thomas and crow. what do u think? Reject or accept? Thank you !

    • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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      @Mike: First of all, Michael, I appreciate your beautiful compliment. Yes, id probably take that Michael Thomas and Crowell. They both should start producing much heavier, starting this week for Crowell especially. Accept. And thanks for reading

  7. Fizz says:
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    Tedhol da god! Whatsup my man.

    I need to pick two starters and one flex from this pool:
    L. Miller, J. Howard, C. Carson, A. Abdullah, J. Stewart, T. Cohen, D. Henry

    • Fizz says:
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      @Tehol Beddict the God

      Considering the above rbs, I am being offered Diggs for howard. My current wr’s are AB, K. Allen and D. Jax. What do you think?

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Fizz: that’s clearly a buy low attempt and if Diggs is without Bradford for ANY time it’s a serious downgrade. I’d hold buddy

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Fizz: probably would go Carson and Stewart against the Saints.

      • Fizz says:
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        @Tehol

        Thanks man. Who would be my flex?

        • Fizz says:
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          How do you feel about henry and stewart for diggs and lee?

          • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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            @Fizz: ehhhh, i need more info on Sam Bradford first. Henry could really breakout. Lee, with Bortles is pretty hit or miss and I’d guess mostly miss

        • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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          @Fizz: Henry if Murray is out. otherwise I’d roll Howard or Cohen. I suppose you have to go Cohen tho I’d be tempted to stay the course with Howard

  8. Fizz says:
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    1. Need to start one rb and one flex: Diggs, D. Henry, C. Carson, Perine, Mixon

    2. Who to start at flex?

    D. Murray D. Johnson, Golladay, Crowder, Sanu (If you say Murray and he doesnt suit up whose next in line?)

    THanks!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Fizz: Carson and Diggs if Bradford plays . If he doesn’t play I’d say Crowder gets one this week

  9. BC says:
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    Would you trade Hilton for Mixon?

    What about E. Sanders for Mixon? Standard scoring. Thanks!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @BC: at this point, probably not although I assume they will give a shot to Carry the load at some point . If luck ever comes backs Hilton will go off. If you’re stacked at wr I would trade sanders for him I suppose

      • BC says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I have Sanders, D Adams, Martavis and Hilton with CJ Anderson, Jstew, Abdullah and Powell

        • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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          @BC: is this 12 team league? i don’t love your running backs so yes, you could make this move.

  10. Blaster says:
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    Would you rather have Rawls or Riddick for a bench RB spot?

    • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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      @Blaster: Theo, no question, ass blaster. Keep up the good work

  11. mthom42 says:
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    Why so high on Palmer this week?

    • Tehol Beddict the God says:
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      @mthom42: because they have no running backs and are facing a putrid pass defense in the Dallas Cowboys. that’s the short answer

      • mthom42 says:
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        @Tehol Beddict the God: thanks! Also what’s a reasonable offer for Carsons? Was going to send a WR offer and I have Benjamin, Adams, Sanu, M Jones, and T. Williams.

        • mthom42 says:
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          @mthom42: sorry, just Carson

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