Luck Be A Colty Tonight

Breaking: The Rams have just traded for the first overall pick from the Titans for picks 15, 43, 45, 76 and a 2017 first round and third round pick. Holy sh*tballs that’s a lot of stuff. But look on the bright side, Robert Griffin can’t be drafted twice… (right?) There are a lot of repercussions, and an interesting storyline at work here (a reverse RG-III trade, if you will). My first instinct is, wow, that’s pretty expensive. My second instinct is, if this doesn’t work out, the Rams probably have another solid decade of mediocrity ahead for them. And thirdly… say what you want about the Rams, but they sure knew how to build a defense, mostly with the bundled picks they received from Washington several years ago. Then again, they haven’t really done much without a quarterback, something that high draft positions certainly allow for, and this seems to be their response. Zach will be analyzing the trade more in-depth later today, so stay tuned! All I’ll say is, you do some crazy things sometimes when playing with house money. Seems apt here… Now, back to your regularly scheduled program!

We’re about to jump back into the “Early Rankings” next week, but for now, we do have some leftovers to take care of. Nothing too big has happened (that’s what she said) since our free agency-focused podcast was released, but there are a number of smaller news items that are there for consumption. Mainly because I’m hungry. You can tell because I used the words “leftovers” and “consumption” in the same sentence. I should also add that I’m sleepy. These represent my normal life-state, I think. Regardless, if your biggest wish is to get Razzball’s take on the NFL’s recent day-to-day minutiae, I am here to grant that wish. And to also state that you need to make a better wish. I mean, seriously… I can probably name at least twenty-eight wishes off the top of my head that are better than this one, and they all involve 1990’s Rachel Weisz. They also include 2000’s Rachel Weisz. In fact, the entire epoch of Rachel Weisz is included here…

Not really news, but an interesting stat to lead off with…

I think we take for granted sometimes how talented Andrew Luck is (or maybe it’s better to say “can be”), but more oft than not, he seems to do some really dumb sh*t. There are obviously a lot of factors at work here… and the Packers having the more dynamic offense over this specific time period is probably the biggest one. The Colts, annually now for what seems like 15 years straight, have had a running game that could be replaced by a styrofoam cup and a receiving corps that could be injured by stepping on a styrofoam cup. Or vica versa. However, the AFC South has been a dumpster fire for just as long, and really, while Luck is a fantastic quarterback, so was Drew Bledsoe for a time. 

The Bengals exercised their option on tight end Tyler Eifert, making him a Bengal through 2017 and further solidifying his status as a key ingredient to a successful naming process for a lot of fantasy owners.

The Ravens have announced that Dennis Pitta‘s comeback is now official. Bold strategy, as his season-ending injury is due in about a month. I always liked him as a player, but sadly, he’s only played in the league for a total of five minutes. There’s a long history of injury-riddled players failing to return to form (and really, just a few that have bounced back), so I wouldn’t expect much, if anything, to come from this.

Josh Gordon‘s reinstatement from an indefinite drug ban was denied by the NFL. This wasn’t really a big surprise, but he can reapply later in the year. What this means for his playing prospects for this upcoming season, well, I’m not quite sure (just like everyone else), but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

“The news comes one day after Mike Garafolo of Fox Sports reported that Gordon had failed another league-administered drug test. Garafolo reported that Gordon tested positive for marijuana, and that both the A and B samples were also diluted, which means he may have tried to cover up the use.”

Are you still holding your breath? Good. Keep holding for about two more years…

It’s being reported that Jameis Winston is already in “noticeably better shape” after working with Tim Grover this offseason. Well, this definitely gets an award for being the earliest “best shape in my life” story ever. And if you don’t know who Tim Grover is, don’t worry, I didn’t either. My first guess was a country-western singer, and I have to say, I thought it had a good shot of being correct. He’s apparently famous for working as a personal trainer for the likes of Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Charles Barkley, which means that Winston should be in great shape to play in the NBA this next season.

And speaking of the NBA, I’ll just end on this note…