If you’ve been living under Antonio Brown’s helmet for the last two months and are just hearing about the RazzBowl for the first time, welcome to the party! 39 fans are competing against 141 of the top fantasy football industry analysts in Razzball’s unique take on The NFFC’s Cutline Championship format: The RazzBowl (apply for RazzBowl 2020 here). It’s the biggest thing to happen to the fantasy football world since the invention of Rudy Gamble’s mind-blowing subscription tools, which can be tested out on a free one week trial right now!Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s no secret, Donkey likes em young. There’s just something about the trusting innocence in those big soft rookie eyes which can’t be matched by an old weathered veteran. And fantasy sports are all about having fun; what’s more fun than drafting the youngster your buddies have never heard of and watching the kid grow into a superstar on your fantasy team as your closest friend cries their self to sleep while clutching the last place penis trophy?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m sure you’ve been wondering, “Why did Donkey Teeth retreat into solitude after executing such a flawless RazzBowl draft?” The truth is, when you draft the most dominant RazzBowl team in the history of RazzBowl teams drafted by a Donkey hopped up on green juices and hallucinogens, withdrawal is unavoidable.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Senior Editor of Razzball Football, Matt Bowe (MB), joins Donkey Teeth and B_Don on this week’s Razzball Football Podcast, formerly know as the Fantasy Sausage Podcast, still known as two questionably straight dudes talking football. Off the top, the guys dissect MB’s RazzBowl draft and convince him it’s not THAT bad. They also discuss the crazy Game of Thrones themed guillotine league slow auction in which they’re all currently participating.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Once every few generations, something truly life changing comes along: the wheel, written language, electricity, the internet, 5-ply toilet paper, and now THE RAZZBOWL. What’s The RazzBowl and who the hell gave this donkey a computer? I’m glad you asked random italicized voice.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Every third Thursday of November my herd gets together and we jam out to a variety of classic Michael Jackson tunes. My brother, Donkey Breath, can’t get enough Thriller; Pretty cliché, right? I’m always telling Breath he needs to dig a little further into The King of Pop’s repertoire. I myself prefer The Gloved One’s early years with The Jackson 5.
Jermaine, Jackie, Tito, Michael and their lesser known youngest brother, Lamar, composed some of the most dulcet melodies you’ll ever hear. Little Lamar couldn’t sing worth a donkey lick, but boy could he run! Many years later, the very same Lamar Jackson, who was definitely a member of the Jackson 5, has now been given the reigns to the Baltimore Ravens offense. Lamar has game changing speed and will be a threat to run for 100+ yards in every game. Add him immediately in all leagues if for no other reason than to keep him away from your opponents. Anyway, here’s some other players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Finally Election Day is upon us! And I know exactly what you’re thinking: Donkey, how can I vote Marquez Valdes-Scantling onto my fantasy team when 7 different commercials just exposed him as the rape-loving, baby-murdering, puppy-hating heathen he is?
Fortunately for Marquez, his only opposition is Chief Geronimo Allison who’s also a rape-loving, baby-murdering, puppy-hating heathen. Geronimo also happens to fund terrorism and will miss at least 6 weeks due to core surgery. MVS is yet another in a long line of rookie wide receivers I’m recommending. He has a top QB and a clear path to targets; mark him down as a must-add in all leagues and call him a WR3 for the time being. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Absconding in solitude to a Southern Colorado cave for the past two weeks, I pondered the universe, those delicious Totino’s pizza rolls, and of course, the next great buy for your fantasy football team. Entranced in the depths of transcendental meditation that would make The Buddha blush, two syllables appeared in the ether over and over. Tre – Quan, Tre – Quan, Tre – Quan. The universe has spoken and Tre’Quan Smith must be acquired at once. The third round rookie out of Central Florida is a WR4 for now, but top 20 WR numbers for the rest of this season are well within the realm of possibilities with Ted Ginn out for the year. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Back in kindergarten I was a real ladies donkey. All the other little donkeys were worried about catching cooties, but not ole Donkey Teeth. Your boy was busy scheduling play dates with all the kindergarten hotties; there was little time to worry about contracting the cooties, in fact, Donkey Teeth wanted those cooties.
My roommate recently came into a bunch of free golf equipment. Apparently it fell off a truck. He’s now selling the goods off piecemeal via eBay and Craigslist, occasionally he’ll even throw in a sexual favor or two to close a deal. Titleist, Ping, Taylormade, Callaway: you name it he’s got it! Oh, you aren’t interested in a golf equipment/BJ combo deal? Well, there’s another Callaway who might stir your loins.
The Browns have finally cut ties with Josh Gordon. They stuck with Josh through thick and thin blunts, but an off the field hamstring injury? No, this the Browns could not tolerate. Now, a new extremely talented wide receiver with a clouded past and major character concerns will be thrust into the Cleveland limelight. Quick, get Antonio Callaway on your team before his weed stash runs out! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:Please, blog, may I have some more?