It’s 7AM Tuesday morning. Blair wakes up. Pours the coffee, adds the half and half. Toast with butter and jam. Three kids shouting about Cinnamon Toast Crunch fill the background. His wife returns home from a shift in the ER. More drunken ATV crashes. The smoke from the west coast fires has arrived in the midwest, the morning sun shining red through the haze.

“It’s time to check the Razzbowl standings!” Blair shouts to his family audience, nobody caring in particular. Phone in one hand, coffee in the other, he opens the NFC app on his phone, looking at the league summary. “First place!” he exclaims. But wait. Razzbowl Satellite Rank: 1. He scrolls up. The Razzbowl Online Rank: 234. A tear forms. “Covid patients for covid reasons last night,” his wife says. Another tear forms. 

Looking for solace, he checks his neighbors in the standings. Ah! Yes, there are some powerful names around me. People from Rotoviz, Rotoballer, people who have big publications. People who are leaders in the industry. Blair thinks back to last year, when he drafted Andrew Luck and then Zay Jones in the 8th round. He was in 6th place in a competitive league at one point! Before, well, falling to 11th place and feeling the sting of defeat. 

Blair scrolls to his roster, eyeing Leonard Fournette. “You can do it, Lenny!” he whispers, hardly noticing the two kids hammering cereal spoons at his shins. 

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Did you know that Rudy Gamble spent a full year at BBQ joints across the south and midwest studying to prepare the Pigskinonator? That’s dedication! Ultimately, pit bosses got wise to his tricks when he kept complaining about the “small sample size” of pulled pork he was getting. After his sojourn, Rudy returned to the nacho-cheese coated interior of Razzball Headquarters and developed the most advanced imaginary football management player performance predictor in existence: The Pigskinonator. Ultimately we had to get a restaurant permit because it turned out that Rudy really did roast a whole hog every time he ran the numbers. He said offers of roasted pork shoulder really appeased the fantasy football gods. Anywho. You should take a gander at the premium football offerings that Rudy provides because they’re legitimately the best way to think about whether you want to start Boston Scott or Nyheim Hines this week. Starting at $1 a week, you’re getting Rudy’s constantly updated weekly rankings, which account for, well, everything. If you’re into daily fantasy, check out the DFS option, which gives you an awesome lineup optimization tool that will make setting a competitive DFS lineup a breeze. On Rudy’s #1 projected lineup for the Thurs-Monday slate on DraftKings last week, I made nearly 300% return on investment. Whether it be your office league or DFS, all fantasy sports is about stacking the odds, and it’s good to have a tool in your belt that can help out in a pinch. 

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This is one of those quick hit, “what am I doing with the RazzFam” articles. If you missed it, we’ve got some Razzball Commenter Leagues (RCLs) that are drafting now, and you can get in on some free drafts or challenge some of the authors in a $20 buy-in draft. If you want to check out the leagues and get in on the action, check out this article here: Razzball Commenter Leagues

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[put on the chillhop radio station and just let it flow] 

Welcome everyone! It’s a privilege to have you here in the Year of the Bubble. No doubt you’ve been refreshing training camp vids and working on your Austin Ekeler-style abs for the past few months. Some of you have been following Razzball Football in the off-season the whole way and you have read every last word. Thank you! Some of you are coming out of fantasy football hibernation right now, and you’re looking for the best fantasy football content to help you win your (virtual) office league. Welcome back! 

Without further ado, let’s kickoff our weekly look at the Top 30 Quarterbacks!

Top 30 Quarterbacks Header

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What if I told you that the most important part of fantasy sports isn’t the ranking process, but the drafting process? That team construction is more important than where Mike Evans lines up in the queue compared to D.J. Chark? Would you follow me into the boring world of team construction? 

I’m aiming this article at the average fantasy football that knows the game but wants to take that next step forward to improve their results. When entering a draft, you should be prepared to construct your roster in several different ways. However, there are better ways of constructing a roster than others. In a 12-team league, every manager starts with about an 8% chance of victory; by constructing your roster in a successful manner, you can increase your odds of victory upwards to 12%. That doesn’t seem like much, but when you’re talking money leagues, family pride, or being the talk of the socially-distanced work cafeteria, you should take every advantage you can get. 

In this article, I present the Robust RB strategy, which I think is the drafting method that returns the most consistent results. There are a ton of recent articles on Robust RB out there on the internet, but this article will be different by showing you some championship teams sourced from the NFFC. For example, Mike Beers deployed the robust RB strategy and was the winner of the RazzBowl in 2019. Looking at the 2019 Cutline Championships at the NFFC, almost all the winners used a Robust RB strategy. Let’s see what it can do for you!

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[the following is my pitch for Razzball’s retro sci-fi themed magazine, RAZZBOT

The hallways at Razzball corporate headquarters echoed with the sound of piped-in crowd noise, tuned to the Cleveland Browns channel. The angry barks of Ohioans chanting “BAKER MAKER FAKER SHAKER” showed that the noise generator bot had again glitched, stuck in rhyming mode. This pleased Razzball CEO Donkey Chompers, who was the cyborg iteration of his predecessor, Donkey Teeth.

Following the events of 2020, when Kahale Warring scored 18 receiving touchdowns, the Razzball analysts who had drafted him became world-wide celebrities renowned for their prognostication powers. Most of the Razzball analysts decided a career change was in order. BDon, Coach JB, and EverywhereBlair formed a boy band, The Razzbois. Rudy Gamble started a haberdashery for dogs. MB took up a career as Ben Rothlisberger’s stunt double. But Donkey Teeth wanted to become something…more. Having taken $25 off his NFFC best ball tournament by using the code “RAZZAUG,” he saved enough money to hire a high school robotics team and purchase their cheapest cybernetic augmentation: robot teeth. With his dental hygiene automated, Donkey Chompers had enough free time to devote to his new life goal: finding the next Kahale Warring. 

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Throughout July, I peppered the site with in-depth analysis of the 2019 RazzBowl and gave you the 2020 RazzBowl Guidebook. So, it’s only fitting that I recap my own draft and let you know whether I followed my own advice, or deviated from the script. I’m most of the way through a RazzBowl qualifier draft as well, so I’ll drop my notes and advice from that draft as well. 

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In my opinion, your fantasy football success hinges on the success of your running backs this year. Rudy projects about 50 receivers to have over 90 targets, which is enough WR to fill a standard 12-team league almost 5 men deep (for more on this, read my analysis/therapist book, The Man Inside Me). So, there’s about 50 WR who will score, on average in a PPR league, about 10 points/game or more. Meanwhile, there are 30 such RBs who are projected to score 10 points/per game in PPR scoring, meaning 2.5 RB per team. The lowest ADP of these running backs is Duke Johnson. I’ll tell you why you should take a swing with the Texans’ backup back, who could very well be the player who saves your fantasy playoff run in 2020.

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Let’s get right to the point: you’re here because you don’t know what to make about Joe Mixon, running back for the Cincinnati Bengals. I don’t know what to make of him, either, to be honest. People smarter than me have him ranked as the 6th player off the board in 2020 Fantasy Football. However, he’s a running back with the [checks notes, does double take, spills papers] second worst offensive line in the NFL. Over at the NFFC, Mixon is the first round player that expert drafters just completely disagree on–he’s gone as high as 4th, as low as 20th, and holds an average of the 9th player off the board. So, let’s take a closer look at Joe Mixon, who is probably your first round target if you’re drafting in the bottom half of the first round. 

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The Razzbowl Guidebook

Welcome everybody!

What is up everyone, and welcome to your one-stop shop for RazzBowl pre-draft materials. If you’re in the RazzBowl, then you’re one of either the lucky Pros or Joes who will compete for fantasy immortality. Come, take a seat, and catch up on some of the articles and “hot taeks.” If you’re not in the RazzBowl, then you’ll still get a lot of value out of this article, like how to draft to win against a large and competitive field of fantasy football heroes, or how to quickly make yourself a fantasy zero. 

This article will be pretty straight-forward: I’ll highlight articles, summarize some tips we learned from studying last year’s winners, and give everybody enough information to have one of the best fantasy football experiences of your life. 

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