As we enter the second quarter of the season (so meta!), many questions have been answered. The Browns? Yeah, still the Browns. I actually think we’re in era of “peak” Browns, but I’m not even sure that factory of sadness has an off button. In fact, production of sadness seems to be steadily increasing, so there’s that I suppose? The Jets? Well, the Giants are doing worse, so there’s that I guess. We now know what the Colts are capable of when their one good player gets injured. Four times (can the aforementioned Giants add a fifth?) there has been the proper amount of schadenfreude served to Dean Spanos. I’d say the Bears are who we thought they were. (RIP Dennis Green. My hero.) And the Seahawks are celebrating their centennial anniversary of having a sh*tty offensive line. Plenty of answers so far, but it’s still somewhat early in the season and some questions still remain. Will Todd Gurley father my children? How are the Panthers in first with a 3-1 record when Cam Newton still doesn’t have a working shoulder? Are the Cowboys the best mediocre team in the NFL? Can the AFC North just explode instead of sending teams to the playoffs? And my god, how are the Eagles 3-1? I can’t promise that these poignant questions will be answered today, or even a week from now, or even another month… well, actually, the Todd Gurley fathering my children one, it just depends how much affinity his legal team has for restraining orders. You’ll know when I know folks!

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 5 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Tired of clicking multiple links just to look up where one of our writers ranked Gerald Everett? Wondering who Gerald Everett is? Good, because I’m with you on both counts! With MB and Zach providing the Razzball readers with their own rankings (a contrarian consensus, as I like to say, to pretend I’m clever), we’re going to provide our 2017 Fantasy Football Staff Rankings for the first time ever, a place where you can find all of our weekly rankings in one spot! The players will be sorted by our average ranking, providing you a great way to see how the Razzball Staff feels (questions posted in our comment section will be answered by all ranking writers!), and it’ll also provide our specific rankings so you know how each of us feel about a player. So many feels, so little time. Follow us after the jump for your Official 2017 Razzball Staff Rankings for Week 5!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
2017 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Week 4 24 10 67 72 98 37 62 3
Week 3 29 42 66 56 51 18 34 7
Week 2 76 79 96 25 64 18 95 7
Week 1 7 6 43 28 62 35 62 6
Cumulative 17 8 71 28 20 22 67 4
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112
3-Year Average Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
2014-2016 21 37 28 22 42 16 33

Another solid week in accuracy, though a trend of middling results is emerging in the running back category. You mean to say that a position I hate this year because of it’s lack of overall depth and surprising results with a usual dose of soul-crushing injuries is something I’ve been having a hard time getting a full grasp of? Say it ain’t so! Regardless, we’re here for you during the most important month of Fantasy Football, the one that makes or breaks your team! DUN DUN DUNH! (I’m not sure if that’s how you spell it, but phonetically, I think it works.)

Week 5 Rankings for Standard, Half-PPR, PPR and IDP leagues are right after the jump! (And our Rest of Season rankings have been updated and can be found here!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I haven’t seen a Carr get sacked like that since I rubbed my nuts all over the hood of my ex’s new boyfriend’s Civic…

For your own notes, I was also considering “Carr Trouble” as the title of today’s recap, but I figured I’d just go full year 2000 (Y2K baby!). Raiders quarterback David Derek Carr left with a back injury suffered late in the third quarter versus the Broncos yesterday and did not return, forcing Jack Del Rio to ask “Is this Carr still covered under the manufacturer warranty?”. Look guys, the automobile puns are endless, so just deal. So now that the E.J. Manuel experience began anew yesterday, I guess this means I can’t read any Raiders hot takes for the next week or so. Granted, 2-2 is not a terrible record when you’ve played three of your first four games on the road, but I doubt the fans will see that. As SON said on this past-week’s pod, their time is now (adding Marshawn Lynch and the top-dollar money thrown at the team’s high-profile offensive line, both Cooper and Crabtree on the roster, etc.) and losing your starting quarterback, even if he is an Alex Smith clone with Joe Flacco eyebrows, is a playoff killer. Del Rio did tell reporters that his back injury did not seem serious, officially labeled as “back spasms” and that Carr’s set to go next week, but a quarterback playing through a back injury? Let’s ask Tony Romo about how he feels about that. Regardless, this is the weirdest week of football I’ve seen in a while (since last week), so let’s get those GIFs, hot takes, and other relevant (more like irrelevant) content into your laps! (Because where else should content go? RAWR.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Another week, another London game… it’s almost as if the NFL is interested in the market and has slowly, yet assuredly gone with the turtle strategy in building European hype the only way they know how: sending the Jaguars ad nauseum. But not this week! No, instead they will get the Saints and the Dolphins, which is actually the start of a great parable. (I think? I’m as atheist as they come, and we don’t have bibles. I mean, we do, it’s just a piece of paper with these sage words written via sharpie: You’re f*cked son.) Speaking of which, rumor has it that Dean Spanos has been really regretting moving my Chargers to Los Angeles, to which I say: k. So, separating my weekly AND obligatory Chargers rant (my therapist says it’s a good idea), we are in Week 4, and with that comes the color of pink, playoffs talk, and Cleveland forgetting they have a football team. But fear not Cleveland, you have the Jets as company! Can the Falcons move to 4-0? Can the Bengals actually win a game this year, or are they feeling like the entire season is Wild Card weekend? Will people actually want to watch the Colts and Seahawks in prime time? And finally, how many shots of Pike’s Place will we endure? The answers to these questions and more after the jump! (Actually, I can’t technically answer most of those questions, Week 4 of football will do that, but, uh, we do have answers to some things! I think?)

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 4 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our Staff Consensus, player updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the comment section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
2017 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Week 3 29 42 66 56 51 18 34 7
Week 2 76 79 96 25 64 18 95 7
Week 1 7 6 43 28 62 35 62 6
Cumulative 24 28 73 23 7 22 69 6
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112
3-Year Average Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
2014-2016 21 37 28 22 42 16 33

Tired of clicking multiple links just to look up where one of our writers ranked Gerald Everett? Wondering who Gerald Everett is? Good, because I’m with you on both counts! With MB, Zach, and Tehol providing the Razzball readers with their own rankings (a contrarian consensus, as I like to say to pretend I’m clever), we’re going to provide our 2017 Fantasy Football Staff Rankings for the first time ever, a place where you can find all of our weekly rankings in one spot! The players will be sorted by our average ranking, providing you a great way to see how the Razzball Staff feels (questions posted in our comment section will be answered by all ranking writers!), and it’ll also provide our specific rankings so you know how each of us feel about a player. So many feels, so little time. Follow us after the jump for your Official 2017 Razzball Staff Rankings for Week 4!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
2017 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Week 3 29 42 66 56 51 18 34 7
Week 2 76 79 96 25 64 18 95 7
Week 1 7 6 43 28 62 35 62 6
Cumulative 24 28 73 23 7 22 69 6
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112
3-Year Average Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
2014-2016 21 37 28 22 42 16 33

And it looks like we’re back in our usual groove, as Razzball moved from a middling 76th place showing in Week 2 to 29th overall in Week 3. That moves us into the top-quarter of all experts (at 24th overall on the year) as we move into the quarter mark of the football season. So many quarters, so little pay phones! (I have no idea, do pay phones still exist? And if they did, why not just go to an arcade with all those quarters? Wait, do arcades like that still exist? This whole aside makes me feel old.) I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out the clinic our very own Rudy Gamble is putting on, landing 5th overall so far this year and having another greet week, finishing 18th in Week 3. Be sure to check out our tools and projections!

Week 4 Rankings for Standard, Half-PPR, PPR and IDP leagues are right after the jump! (And our Rest of Season rankings have been updated and can be found here!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Ravens stats in this loss weren’t so bad if you converted them to metric…

I’ve never quite seen politics be so invasive in our everyday lives, and to see it finally hemorrhage into a “football” Sunday and essentially infiltrate America’s favorite escapist sport is just a shame. While my years don’t represent a robust breadth of experience to draw from, as any middling in-their-thirties Xennial would say, it’s easy to state that beyond the labor disputes and other benign conflicts that arise when large private businesses and governments interact (i.e. stadium issues), recently there have been only two resounding issues where national politics has bled into the world of sports and vica versa: Steroids and Concussions. Remember the good old days?

To be clear, this conversation actually started last season when Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the National Anthem starting in the 2016 preseason to advocate equality and to raise awareness of Police violence against the Black community. At the time, I voiced the same opinion I hold today: It was a flawed message, not that it wasn’t a good one, or one that I didn’t support, only that powerful and effective activism requires a knowledge of the issues, something that Kaepernick clearly didn’t have a grasp of, especially and specifically when he recited long-debunked right-wing talking points in terms of Hillary Clinton’s public record and relied on the lazy “they’re both the same” arguments. And while his “kneeling” protest was provocative and an overall positive (how can practicing your constitutional right to free speech ever be a negative?), my opinion and his actions probably matters less when you realize that this conversation started long, long ago, during one of the darkest poxes in the history of not just America, but the world: the enslavement of men by other men. And this conversation has never really reached a satisfactory conclusion. Hell, I would say this conversation has never really reached a satisfactory state of debate…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I guess it’s becoming a trend now where I do some kind of mention of the Thursday Night Football game in the Sunday morning lede… I’m not sure that it was supposed to happen that way, but with the Patriots opening week loss, the Bengals thinking Week 2 was Playoffs time, it’s hard not to see a trend forming. Especially when Godd Turley has once again graced us with his presence to start of Week 3’s action… well, I had no choice! And that’s not all the interesting NFL news we’ve seen these past few days. Nope, Jason Verrett of my (I think?) Chargers has continued the team’s trend of slowly killing my liver after undergoing season-ending surgery. (It’s DST relevant, I swear!) Though, the well deserved schadenfreude that Dean Spanos is experiencing at the moment is also killing my liver slowly, but with more positivity, so I guess it’s worth it? Turns out copious amounts of alchohal and schadenfreude can turn a frown upside down! And don’t even get me started on all the kneeling business. I mean honestly, what’s so bad about the victory formation anyhow? BELIEVE ME.

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 3 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our Staff Consensus, player updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the comment section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
2017 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Week 2 76 79 96 25 64 18 95 7
Week 1 7 6 43 28 62 35 62 6
Cumulative 33 30 77 23 57 29 79 4
2016 Accuracy Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
Weekly Rankings 9 31 5 27 40 9 4
Draft Rankings 3 66 10 7 23 66 112
3-Year Average Rank QB RB WR TE K DST IDP
2014-2016 21 37 28 22 42 16 33

Tired of clicking multiple links just to look up where one of our writers ranked Gerald Everett? Wondering who Gerald Everett is? Good, because I’m with you on both counts! With MB, Zach, and Tehol providing the Razzball readers with their own rankings (a contrarian consensus, as I like to say to pretend I’m clever), we’re going to provide our 2017 Fantasy Football Staff Rankings for the first time ever, a place where you can find all of our weekly rankings in one spot! The players will be sorted by our average ranking, providing you a great way to see how the Razzball Staff feels (questions posted in our comment section will be answered by all ranking writers!), and it’ll also provide our specific rankings so you know how each of us feel about a player. So many feels, so little time. Follow us after the jump for your Official 2017 Razzball Staff Rankings for Week 3!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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