Last week was a mixed bag of waiver recommendations.

I made some great waiver suggestions: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Phillip Lindsay, Geronimo Allison, Brandon McManus. But also some that left both of us scratching our heads: Tyrod Taylor, Jonnu Smith, Washington Redskins and Ryan Grant. I’m pretty confident in my picks for this upcoming week — even the Blake Bortles one! (Oh God, what have I done…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In last week’s edition of this column I told you “Unfortunately as the season goes on there will be more players in this column.” And good lord did I underpromise and did the NFL over-deliver. I forgot that grown men running into each other at breakneck speeds (pun not intended, but regretted) are more likely […]

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There were a lot of expectations heading into week 1 of the NFL season and a variety of different results. There was the completely expected: Patriots winning; Aaron Rodgers being da gawd of football. (Yawn.) The slightly unexpected: The Broncos sneaking away with a 27-24 win over the Seahawks; Matt Ryan not returning to his MVP form. (Maybe we all saw that one coming…) And the completely bat-guano, mind-blowing, WTF: Browns/Steelers playing to a 21-21 draw; MVP Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Buccaneers dropping 48 points against the Saints; and the Ravens obliterating the Buffalo Bills 47-3.

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Ambulance Chasers is back! This time with a different shaped ball! And here I am along with it — Razzball’s less talented, uglier, less intelligent version of ESPN’s Stephania Bell.

If you’ve ever checked out the baseball side of Razzball on a Wednesday afternoon these past two years you probably/hopefully have snuck a peak at the baseball version of Ambulance Chasers. If you haven’t seen that column — here’s a little primer: basically, Ambulance Chasers is a weekly column where I discuss injured players and whether I think you should stash them (keep them on your roster) or trash them (send them to the waivers because they are garbage people who have wronged you as team owner.) If I declare someone a “trash them” option — I’ll  also give you a recommendation of someone less-owned than your currently injured player who could be a good replacement option. Since there isn’t an option to just “stash” a player on the DL like baseball I won’t be giving you a replacement option if I think you should be stashing someone. And since everyone’s roster is completely different it is impossible for me to say “stash Player A and replace him with player B!.” Instead, if a major player is injured I’ll be letting you know my prognosis on their injury. For example, if someone is questionable I’ll be making my best judgement on whether I think they’ll be starting come Sunday/Monday or not and if their injury might limit their production that week.

Confused? That’s weird — I literally explained it perfectly. Well, here’s some quick examples:

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Me before every draft this year. I’m not invited back. I’ll admit it. My first love is fantasy baseball. But over the past few years fantasy football has become my mistress. Now usually I don’t boast or brag, but today is different — usually in late August/early September, I’ve got baseball playoffs on the brain. That’s still the case this year (#humblebrag) but there’s just something in this New Jersey air that’s making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Maybe it’s because I’m going to the Giants/Jaguars game this Sunday. Maybe it’s because last year the Giants were out of contention by week 5. Or maybe, it’s because the Giants parlayed that 3-13 record last year into their second overall pick of Saquon Barkley. I haven’t been this excited about a Giants running back since Brandon Jacobs that one time. Or maybe it’s the air pollution…

Now to get into what you’re really here for. Every Tuesday I’ll be giving you the straight dirt on who you need to get your twisted, gnarled, dirty football fingers on. Maybe there’s backup running back who is due for some added snaps because the starter is just a jabroni. Maybe there’s a third string wide receiver who is about to face the Colts porous defense and you need someone who can reach for that brass ring. Or maybe there’s just someone with a dope name who I just can’t ignore any longer (Hi JuJu!) Whatever the case may be — every Tuesday you need to come here as you turn your attention to laying the smacketh down on your next opponent.

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Okay Aaron Rodgers owners — if you put all your eggs in his basket — you can still recover. I’ve got three solid starting QB options who could lead you to fantasy football glory. If you’re Antonio Brown — I’ve got you covered there.

If you’ve got anyone else on your team that you’re not entirely sure of please throw your questions down in the comment section and I will get to them ASA-quick.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’re still reading this, congratulations! You’ve made it to the 2nd round of your league’s fantasy playoffs! All of those other chumps from last week have dropped off because of your superior team and our superior assistance! If you want to be one of the few who is still checking Razzball next week — below you’ll find the low-ownership guys who can help get you there.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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