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DeMarco Murray is no longer on pace to break the single season record for rushing yards. He is, however, on pace to finish the season with 1,973 yards on the ground. To do so he will have to maintain his average of 123 yards per game. Dallas’s remaining opponents are NYG, PHI, CHI, PHI, IND and WAS. The only team that isn’t giving up at least 100 rushing yards per game in that list are the Colts who fall just below at 98.1 yards per game. The New York Football Giants are ranked the worst in the league giving up a league high 144.7 yards per game. These remaining teams combined are allowing 696.2 yards per game. That’s an average of 116 yards. I don’t see Murray maintaing the 123 yards per game pace, but I could definitely see him averaging 85. That would close him out for the season with 1743 yards which would be the 2nd most in a season in the last 5 years behind Adrian Peterson who racked up 2097 yards in 2012. His current pace has him at 390 carries for the season. That number concerns me…

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You shouldn’t prejudge the worth or value of something by its outward appearance alone. Because, in fact, all that glitters is not gold.

What the heck does all of that mean? Just because a chick is hot doesn’t mean that you are going to enjoy spending time with her the next day or the day after that. Take a look at the following lineup:

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About a week ago, all the buzz in Seattle was about how the decision makers had grown tired of Marshawn Lynch’s antics and that they were ready to chase to him out of town with pitchforks. Apparently, Lynch has a very tense relationship with head coach Pete Carroll and they have little to no communication. You’re kidding me, right? Those two seem like they’d be two peas in a pod. I just had a great idea for a reality show. Lynch and Carroll have to live together in a college dorm room! Every time Pete comes back to their room Marshawn has one of Pete’s ties around the doorknob. Why would Lynch want to be bothered with his head coach when he could care less about the nation’s president? Lynch’s decision to be a “no show” to the team’s Super Bowl victory celebration at the White House did not go over well with many. Sorry Obama, but Marshawn had better things to do than pay you a visit…

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Most people recognize O.J. Simpson as the guy that most likely killed his wife and her lover and got away with it. If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit. Old school football fans know “The Juice” as the running back for the Buffalo Bills that became the first player to rush for over 2,000 yards in a season back in 1973. While six other players have since accomplished that feat, Simpson remains the only player to have done so in a 14-game season. He also holds the record for the single season yards-per-game average, with 143.1 yards per game.

But how many of you remember him as T.D. Parker, the veteran running back that transitions from player to coach to help lead the California Bulls in HBO’s glorious sitcom from the late 80’s entitled “1st and Ten”? I don’t know about you but that show was awesome. Starring Delta Burke (in her prime), the show included many guest appearances from NFL legends such as Fran Tarkenton, Marcus Allen, John Matuszak, Brian Bosworth, John Riggins, Lawrence Taylor, Joe Namath, Eric Dickerson, Roger Craig, Jim Everett, Herschel Walker, Randall Cunningham, Warren Moon, Ted Hendricks, Bubba Smith, and more! And let’s not forget about Leslie ‘Dr. Death’ Crunchner, played by none other than Donald Gibb who is best known for his role as Frederick Aloysius Palowakski (aka Ogre) in Revenge of the Nerds. Well done HBO. Well done.

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The Stats Machine and I are still riding our Halloween highs. Pro tip: Don’t get low. Also, TSM would like to point out the following:

Based on average score per game, here are some lesser owned running backs in the top-25 TSM rankings. With an average score of 19.86 Jerick McKinnon is someone that should definitely own.I have him in both of my leagues. He is ranked ahead of the likes of Jamaal Charles (19.61), Eddie Lacy (18.41) and Lamar Miller (18.76). Ronnie Hillman comes in at number 18 with a score of 18.09 and is another guy TSM sees as a potential must own. The way he’s been running the ball and the way Montee “wasn’t running the” Ball makes me think Denver would be crazy to give the job back to Montee Ball-less. Other backs of note include Darren McFadden (17.26), Joique Bell (16.47), Shane Vereen (16.09) and Mark Ingram (15.33).

TSM would like you to keep Anquan Boldin (18.59) in mind when considering trades as a great player to try and get added into a deal. I doubt he’s available in your league, although it looks like he’s owned in only 76% of Yahoo! leagues. Right now he’s ranked ahead of Brandon Marshall (18.11), Roddy White (17.98) and Kelvin Benjamin (16.61). And as usual I’d like to give a shout out to my boy Andrew Hawkins (18.15).

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All Hallow’s Eve is nearly upon us, and I hope you have your costume picked out. I’ve got a few late nights ahead of me to finish mine, but I expect to be ready in time. Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. What’s better than drunk adults wearing costumes acting like children? Honestly, not much. One year I saw a guy dressed as Daniel LaRusso in the shower get punched in the face by a dude wearing a Cobra Kai jersey while he was smoking a cigarette outside a bar. Another time I saw a dude dressed up as the Teen Wolf crushing beer cans with his teeth as he spun a basketball on his fingertips. But I’m not sure anything can top seeing the Ultimate Warrior in a speedo running down the middle of a main street in freezing weather in typical Warrior-like fashion.

How about a few NFL players last week that put on their uniforms and masqueraded about as fantasy studs?

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I’ve made some changes to the Stats Machine (TSM) this week in hopes to present more accurate data. While this is a weekly post that highlights the previous week’s top performances, TSM also provides a year-to-date report to help you identify valuable players. Until now, this has been based on the players’ total score for the season. The problem with that is that it punishes players that have already had a bye, as they will have had one less game than players that have not. Until all teams have had their bye week, this list will be powered by each players’ average score per game. Got it? Good.

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Last week, I had the ALCS on the television as I was researching some fantasy fantasy football on my MacBook Pro, and something funny happened. My wife, who’s more of a Total Divas and House Hunters kind of viewer, looked up at the game and said “is that Philip Seymour Hoffman?” Without turning my head I knew exactly who she was talking about, and immediately starting laughing. While she knows that the inventor of the shart is no longer with us, I have to admit, the resemblance is a bit uncanny. And in case you haven’t figured it out, the Philip Seymour Hoffman impersonator I am referring to is none other than Buck Showalter…

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In 1983, David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. Years later, he walked through the Great Wall of China. Year after year, he dazzled audiences with his mastery of illusion, sleight of hand, and showmanship. I have watched every television special, seen him live nearly 10 times, and have learned several of his secrets over the years. David Copperfield is the reason magic has become what it is today. But sadly, when magic is at the height of its popularity in what seems to be the era of the street magician and cutting edge in your face magic, he has appeared to disappear.

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Those of you in your 30’s shouldn’t have a hard time remembering George Michael’s Sports Machine. Running from 1984 to about 2007, and airing on Sunday nights, it was a 30-minute television show dedicated to providing the highlights of the past week’s sporting events. I did a quick search on Ancestry.com, and it turns out the Sports Machine and Stats Machine are very distant relatives. I hope George’s estate doesn’t sue me. Now that I have cleared that up, let’s move on.

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In 2009, when he was mounting a campaign to be the first white running back in 35 years to win the Heisman Trophy, Toby Gerhart was sometimes referred to as “The Great White Hope”. [Jay’s Note: Dat’s raycess.] I thought that was Peyton Hillis, but I could be wrong. Gerhart was a consensus First-Team All-America selection, the Pac-10 Offensive Player of the Year, and one of 5 finalists for the Heisman Trophy. Despite winning the Doak Walker Award as the best running back in the nation and the Jim Brown Trophy given to the top running back in the country, Gerhart’s dream of breaking the Heisman barrier fell short as he finished in second place to Mark Ingram by 28 points, which was the slimmest of margins in 74 years. He was drafted in the second round of the 2010 the NFL draft by the Minnesota Vikings and spent the next 4 years as Adrian Peterson‘s backup.

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