cjanderson

Oh hey, didn’t hear you come in. Sorry about the mess, I haven’t moved since last Sunday afternoon. I’ve been here crying in the fetal position and clutching my cold, empty Keenan Allen jersey. I’ll get by, no worries. But nonetheless, like the No.1 rated fantasy football player in the universe Barry Manilow once said “Looks Like We Made It.” Yes we did, Barry. Yes we did. Anyway, we’re into Week 2 of the fantasy season and I’m back to run you through some numbers that will identify some of the top passing and rushing matchups of the week. First let’s get the obvious play out of the way. C.J. Anderson will run roughshod over the Colts baby soft run defense. Being a Colts fan, that was difficult to type. But facts are facts and the gory number here is 122. That represents then number of rushing yards Indianapolis allowed per game last season. That was good enough to rank 25th in the league and they also handed out 14 rushing TDs over 16 games in 2015. Last week Detroit put up 116 yards on 24 carries and found the painted grass twice on the ground. Basically, we’ve seen this movie before and it never ends well for Fighting Pagano’s. Remember, the purpose of this article is just to touch on some of the better matchups of the week. Obviously if you own Cam or Aaron Rodgers – you’re starting them regardless of what is written here. This is not intended to be a rankings piece. Jay does a tremendous job each week with the site rankings, which you should obviously check out if you care about winning. Also, check out Rudy’s “Pigskinonator” for the best projections in the free world. That said, let’s jump into some numbers:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 1 is upon us internet friends and that means real, live American Football! Let us rejoice. With that, it’s time to crush our opponents and begin the systematic take down of our fantasy leagues. The focus of this article each week is to bring you the best passing and rushing matchups along with a few interesting notes and stats pertaining to QBs, WRs, RBs & TEs. After you’ve processed the information you’ll be ready to make the right lineup decisions to help you win . As the season progresses, we’ll have a bigger sample of data to draw on. But for this week we’ll stick to some historical trends and numbers that will help us better identify the top plays of the week. So what I’m basically saying is…..This article will definitely dig deeper and be more complete as the season moves along. So without further hesitation, let’s dig into some numbers that might help you win your match up this week. But……before we dive in I should probably offer up some sort of lede which ties into the catchy title. Right? Okay, well Kirk “You Like That” Cousins has a delicious match up with the visiting Pittsburgh Steelers. Pittsburgh ranked 22nd in TDs allowed last season and 30th in passing yards allowed. That’s not optimal for a defense. In fact, that’s pretty close to orange cone level. Add those numbers to the fact that he’s at home this week (which we’ll talk about below) and you have yourself a QBILF!? Anyway, here’s a look at some other numbers to guide you through Week 1:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

afc-south

Despite being the urinal puck of the NFL last season, the AFC South is overflowing with fantasy goodness for 2016. Jump into my fantasy van (Hint: It has no windows) and I’ll guide you through the land of elite wide receivers and shiny new quarterbacks. Allow Honcho – your new and most favorite fantasy football bestie to help you navigate the numerous story lines that make up one of the most fantasy rich divisions in football. Can Andrew Luck keep his spleen in one piece this season? Will Blake Bortles remember he’s Blake Bortles or will he continue his ascent up the QB ladder? Can Marcus Mariota deliver through the air? If so, who will he throw to? Finally, is $72 million enough to convince you that Brock Osweiler actually knows what he’s doing? The suspense is too much! Let’s get started. As always, we’ll review the teams in order of predicted finish.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

02_AFC-NorthReport_news

What’s up fans of American Football!? It’s your good buddy Honcho back to walk you through the AFC North. Yuck. That was my first reaction when I was assigned this division. I mean, can you think of four teams that deserve each other more than this group of franchise swapping,  Super Bowl gloating, bad chili pushing tough-guy wannabees? Yeah, me either. This division is tough to love. I mean truly it is. But I’m here to give you the tour so let’s proceed.

Our first objective is to identify the participants. Let’s start with the Cleveland Browns. Okay, cool. So you’re feeling good about the NBA season, but guess what LeBron’s not under center…..And that’s probably a bad thing. They hired a baseball analytics specialist to ruin –  errrrr I mean run things. The Dodgers thought so little of him they ran him out-of-town. What could possibly go wrong? So here’s the thing…I think they’re on the right track, accumulating draft picks and athletes – but this isn’t the year. Heading south, but still staying in Ohio we find the Cincinnati Bengals who have a better than average team, but just can’t win a playoff game. They’ll give it another shot this season and will probably challenge the Steelers for the top spot in the division. Speaking of the Steelers….Is there a more insufferable fan base in football? I’ve been to Pittsburgh more than a few times and you know what? Every Steelers’ fan looks the same. How is that possible? The jorts say it’s summer, the tucked in jersey says it’s football season, but the waistline says you gave up a long time ago. Ha! Just kidding Pittsburgh, I love your city! Mostly due to Primanti Brothers but hey, gotta start somewhere, right? This year you’re the team to beat in the North. Don’t mess this up. Finally we have the Ravens. Flacco’s back. That’s good. They signed Trent Richardson and then proceeded to release him shortly after. He didn’t even stick around to try Ray-Ray’s famous “Deer-Antler” spray. That was rude. Anyway, the Ravens are staring 8-8 right in the face, but if any team can luck box their way into the playoffs it’s this bunch.

So, with all that said the fantasy relevant information awaits. Per usual, I’ll list the teams in order of predicted finish. Here we go!

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AFC-WEST

So wait… You mean to tell me that we’re only a few weeks away from real, live concussion filled NFL action? Where did the time go? Anyway, for those of you not familiar with my work, which would include everyone not in my immediate family, I’m Mike Honcho and I’m usually pontificating on baseball this time of the year. However, it’s hard to say no to the persuasive ways of Unbreakable MB and Jay Wrong. They’re like the Razzball version of “Brazilian security guards” at a gas station at 6 A.M. – You just can’t say no! So here I am, ready to tell you how the AFC West will unfold in 2016. How will Denver cope without America’s favorite “Non-PED using” quarterback? Can Derek Carr take the next step and lead the Raiders to the postseason? Did Andy Reid serve his 15 hours of community service for habitual clock-management violations? Finally, can Phillip Rivers generate enough excitement for the dozens of Chargers fans in San Diego? Theses questions and more (well, not much more) will be answered below. I’ll list the teams in order of predicted finish and give you a few helpful nuggets to help you navigate the choppy waters of fantasy draft season. Join me, won’t you?

Please, blog, may I have some more?