With Halloween this weekend, the country has been consumed with ranking their favorite sweets. The divergent opinions and tastes are what make life beautiful and interesting. How boring would the internet be if everyone agreed with each other?

Here are two different descriptions of Butterfinger:

“Butterfingers. We’re not exactly positive what’s going on inside of a Butterfinger — what is it? And why is it orange? — but they sure are delicious. Nobody’s gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger (both a good candy strategy and a euphemism for something inappropriate, probably).”- ETonline.com

“Oh come on; this can’t have been designed for human consumption. This isn’t a candy bar, this is a chocolate-coated grenade filled with shrapnel made of peanut brittle. I feel like Butterfinger was an elaborate prank that got to the point where it was too embarrassing to call it off, so they just went with it, and because of Bart Simpson, people still buy the f***ing things (I’M OLD).”- Jezebel.com

What’s this have to do with football? Butterfinger may be an acceptable name for a candy, but not for a football player that’s paid to catch the ball… The average catch rate lies in the low-to-mid 60% range. The player I’m going to talk about today has posted eight seasons under 60% and is currently at 50% for 2015.

So why am I wasting time talking about this player?

When you go trick or treating, have you ever declined FREE candy? Exactly. I hate black licorice but I’ll gladly open my bag and take it. Maybe I can pawn it off to someone that does.

This week’s Bear or Bull player just scored two touchdowns and hauled in nine receptions on 16 targets. You telling me that you are not interested in FREE touchdowns? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Who is this putrid tasting to some and delectable to many Butterfinger? Nate Washington.

Washington is 32 years old, 6’ 1”, and 183 lbs. He was signed as an undrafted free agent in 2005 by the Pittsburgh Steelers. He played his college ball at Tiffin University.

He played three years for the Steelers, six years for the Titans, and is in his first year with the Texans. In his prior nine years, Washington exceeded 1,000 yards receiving once (2011). He never caught more than 74 passes or seven touchdowns, despite never missing a game.

Here is his career catch percentage:



Pretty gross, but fantasy football is not always about talent. Situation, opportunity, and cost can be just as valuable.

According to ESPN.com, Washington’s ownership percentage is 5.7%. FREE candy.

Did you know that the Texans are on pace to break the 1994 Patriots record for most plays run in a single season? Well, now you do. The Texans have run 532 plays, which puts them on pace for 76/game and finish with 1,216. The ’94 Pats finished with 1,199. The more front doors you knock, the more candy you get.

The Texans defense has been atrocious this year. The unit gives up 28.4 points-per-game, which is third worst in the league.

As a result, the offense has had to chase points. Texans quarterbacks have attempted the most passes in the league (327). That’s a ridiculous 46 times per game.

The more absurd thing is that pace could be maintained. If you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t heard, but Arian Foster is out for the season due to an Achilles injury.

Sayonara to the run game in Houston. The best player without question is now DeAndre Hopkins, who is within striking distance of breaking the single-season marks in targets, receptions, and receiving yardage. This makes our Butterfinger more appealing.

Washington will ALWAYS see single-coverage. Like forever ever.




You can follow Stan on Twitter.

  1. Bobby says:

    Howdy man!

    .5 ppr who to use my top add for Nate Washington or Antonio Andrews? I’m kinda feeling Nate Washington although Lamar miller just gashed that Texans D that’s who Antonio Andrews is facing.

    I do have David Cobb sitting on my IR as a stash. If I did add Andrews it would only be for this week. If for Washington this week & long term wise.

    My rbs are hill, gore, Lamar miller, Doug Martin, charcanderick west, Christine michael. & David Cobb too.

    My Wrs are demaryius, alshon, cooks, John brown, diggs, lafell.

    • Son

      Son says:

      @Bobby: Hey Bobby! I think Washington has more long-term value. I like the Cobb stash.

      • Bobby says:


        Or would you aim for alf blue?

    • Son

      Son says:

      @Bobby: I just looked at your roster again. Man, you are stacked. I guess how I would approach is this way: pick up the guy that gives you the best package to trade.

      • Tin says:


        Great call, I feel blue may be a good one to package what about you

        Was thinking of dropping funchess for blue there

        • Son

          Son says:

          @Tin: I think Blue has more value than Funchess. Also don’t forget about Polk

  2. CL says:

    Welp, I picked him this morning. My shitstain of a 3-4 team needs a WR and there is literally no one on the wire. Giddyup.

    Thanks for making me feel better… I think?

    • Son

      Son says:

      @CL: Lol. Hope he works out for you. Can’t ask for a better situation to produce. The act of vomiting is vile, but you feel so much better after.

  3. Beans says:

    Hey what’s up man? Got a trade question for you. My Lamar Miller for his Bug Ben? PPR if that matters. I’ve been streaming and currently own Tannehill till Romo gets back. My prob with waiting is who knows if it’s actually week 11 he comes back and if Dal is already out no reason to rush him. Ben is a top 5-6 qb every week IMO. I’m fighting for a playoff spot in a 14 team league. Pull the trigger or stand my ground. My backs without miller are AP Hillman David Cobb and Alf Blue. Thanks for the time.

    • Son

      Son says:

      @Beans: I wouldn’t make that trade, especially with the new regime in Miami. While Ben is an upgrade, I don’t think the point differential that you would get would compensate for the loss at RB.

  4. Pablonito says:

    I’m thinking to offer a trade – ODB for Greg Olsen and T.J Yeldon.

    Think that’ s a fair trade? I have healthy stack of WR but need a consistent RB2 and a TE with some upside.

    RB: Lamar Miller, Jonathon Stewart, Charles Sims, Duke Johnson JR, Joquie Bell
    WR: ODB, Keenan Allen, Brendan Marshall, Anquan Boldin, Jordan Matthews, Cecil Shorts
    TE: Jordan Cameron, Austin Sefaran Jenkins(Just picked him up, Have a feeling he pick up where he left off in that offense)

    Besides Lamar Miller, the other RB are questionable. What do you think? Hold or make a move?

    • Son

      Son says:

      @Pablonito: It’s not a bad trade. Everything is dependent on league dynamics and individual philosophies though. You know your league and leaguemates better than me, so you have a better understanding of the landscape. If you feel a trade makes your team better, then do it.

      With that said, I usually prefer receiving the better player in the deal. In addition, I probably devalue the tight end position more than most. Around this time of year, I look to package my depth in order to accumulate as many game changers as I can. Like I said, a philosophical difference.

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