Overall: 48-42-1, Locks: 4-1

Greetings!! Tis I, Beddict, your favorite chicken lover and gambling extraordinare. Hopefully, you’ve kept up with my picks the past two weeks on Twitter or in the comment section of my weekly Disgrace/Delight column. Oh, you don’t care about point spreads and real betting? What’s that you say? You come here for fantasy football advice, not for some former mankini model to put you up to your ears in debt and possibly ruin your life? Dudes/Dudettes, this is for fun! Chill out! It’s been my lifelong dream to write a weekly betting column, so can you at least pretend to enjoy it? Make your picks every week, beat me and receive thousands of kudos points, possibly even a razzball T-Shirt. Razzball, you know, the greatest website every created. Let’s get involved people! Think you’re more intelligent than me? (Don’t answer that!) Then put your knowledge of the NFL to the test below, for there is no greater challenge on earth than correctly choosing a high percentage of covers.

I made my Thursday Night Football pick in my Disgrace/Delight column, going with the Saints (-3). I was laughed at for calling it a lock, but we see how that turned out. Still, we won’t count it as the lock of the week since I never actually stated it was that. The Elder Gods have blessed me with many great bounties over the years. I have a feeling this week shall be one of my most blessed hauls ever.  The quest for the perfect week continues.

Shall we begin? Take Heed!

 

Quick Recap:

Week 7

8-7 with first lock of the week misshap with Buffalo not covering against Minnesota after continually shooting self in foot.

Week 8

9-6 with hitting the lock of the week which was Miami (-6) on the road against Jacksonville

 

Lock of the Week: Philadelphia (-1.5) @ Houston. Philadelphia is superior to Houston in almost every facet of the game, so unless Arian Foster rushes for three-hundo, the Texans have no chance at winning this game. Philly had the game won in Arizona last week, but gave up a miraculous bomb to the Elder God-blessed Carson Palmer. Fortunately for the Eags, my Tahitian lover, A’ala, throws a better deep ball than Fitzpatrick. Has a nicer ass too. She hasn’t spoken to me since she found out I left underwear modeling in the rearview and chose to write about fantasy sports for a living. A’ala, if you’re reading, I miss that juicy donk like Shamu misses the ocean. My “dorsal fin” is certainly just as limp. Please call… or write… or email…

San Diego @ Miami (-1.5). With Varrett out, I like the Chargers to continue to struggle against the pass… that is, if Tannehill can reach deep within himself and become a competent downfield passer. Miami has a couple impressive wins in a row (okay, maybe beating Jacksonville isn’t that impressive), and has the look of playoff team. The injuries have begun to show for San Diego as they’ve now dropped two in a row. Still though, this game is more difficult to call than what Oprah’s weight is going to be on any given week. I’d stay away. [Jay’s Note: It should be noted that San Diego hasn’t won at Miami in what seems centuries.]

Jacksonville @ Cincinnati (-10.5). Another game I wouldn’t even think about touching, but I don’t feel comfortable supporting Jacksonville in any form or fashion at this moment (or ever). Cincy’s been more up and down than Nicolas Cage’s bank account, making it even less appealing. Cage, where you at boy?!?! Holla at me! I still watch The Rock at least once a month. I could see Andy Dalton transitioning pretty well to the big screen… just kidding.

Tampa Bay (+6.5) @ Cleveland. Switched this pick last minute, as I still have no faith in Brian Hoyer. I have no idea how the Brown’s run D has been so horrific… I understand Alex Mack is a great center, but that’s no excuse for getting your Charmin-soft running back drilled in the backfield on 75 percent of his carries. The Lovie Smith hiring looks tragic, as the Bucs were at least a competent team to end last year’s season. So now we’re 3/3 in games I wouldn’t feel comfortable betting on… that is, of course, if I wasn’t a total gambling junkie. So you know I’m throwin down on this, maaaaaan.

Washington (0) @ Minnesota. One of these teams beat the Dallas Cowboys on the road last week. The other needed a miracle to defeat Tampa Bay on the road. This is a “pick ’em” game… that’s a zero point spread to the layperson. RG3 is back in action, and I like him to enthrall the world like he once did a few years back. Even he can’t find DeSean Jackson deep, he still has Garçon and Jordan Reed to work the middle of the field with. Teddy Bridgewater has one of the more hideous throwing motions I’ve ever witnessed, and frankly, I don’t trust him. I’m tempted to make this my lock of the week, but that seems drastic. Or does it?

New York Jets (+9.5) @ Kansas City. Too many points for KC, here.

Arizona (+3) @ Dallas. I’m actually shocked Dallas is favored due to the fact there’s a solid shot that Brandon Weeden ends up starting in this contest. If that ends up being the case , I would definitely money-line the Cardinals here. Patrick Peterson should be back to cover Dez Bryant, though he looked horrendous in attempting to cover Jeramy Maclin last week. Patrick Peterson might be more overrated that Kevin Hart, but he’s still a freak athlete that should be able to stay with Bryant downfield. Beddict likes the Cardinals.

brandon-weeden-patriot-fourth-of-july-570x950

St. Louis @ San Francisco (-10). Seems a tad high, but we all remember the throttling San Fran gave the Rams on Monday Night Football in St. Louis a couple weeks back. Maybe you witnessed Kansas City beating the brakes off the team formerly known as “The Greatest Show on Turf”. Maybe you’re like me and refuse to give an ounce of respect to Brian Schottenheimer. Maybe 10 points isn’t enough. Niners all day.

Denver (-3) @ New England. The Broncos are dominating every team they come across lately.

Oakland (+14.5) @ Seattle. Betting against my home team for the 3rd week in a row is embarrassing, as I hadn’t bet against them in the two seasons prior. Buuuuuut, if my team can still win without covering the spread, that’s just as good right? Part of believes the Hawks are going to treat this winless Raiders team in the same fashion professional athletes and entertainers treat the Kardashian sisters, but 14.5 just seems a little high. Oaktown, baby. Peace to Too Short.

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (+1.5). With my favorite NFL corner, Jimmy Smith, injured, I have zero faith in the Ravens pass defense. With Bryant and Wheaton emerging for the Steelers as 2nd and 3rd receiver options, I like Pittsburgh to pull out the win. It’s as simple as that.

Indianapolis @ New York Giants (+3.5). The Colts defense were exposed for the frauds I thought they were last week in Pittsburgh, and I see no reason that Eli can’t decimate this secondary in similar fashion.

 

And there you have it– another fun filled episode of #BettingWithBeddict. Please make your picks below and feel free to ask fantasy questions as well, since, you know, this is a fantasy sports website after all. Want more intimacy with Beddict? Follow me on Twitter at @Tehol143. Happy Halloween.

  1. Bae says:
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    Flex Start: Charles Sims, Odell Beckham Jr., Michael Crabtree, Percy Harvin Thanks!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bae: Aye Bae Bae! Im going Beckham this week. All day. Crabtree 2nd on this list

  2. BraunWeasleys says:
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    Great article as usually you sex god. You’ve got to be on the same level as dan bilzerian

    Need help with a trade offer I received!

    In a 16 team league non ppr

    Was offered c patt and joquie bell for my mackinnon. Ive made trades to get stacked wr’s buy buying low on allen and thomas but it’s left me thin and rb… Thanks Ball! Not sure who i’d drop here for c patt, not a huge fan with his supporting cast but who do you feel would be the better rb ros here? Any possible trade I could try? Everyones searching for rb’s

    Qb: rivers
    Wr: demarius thomas
    Wr: alshon jeffery
    Rb: mackinnon
    Rb: taliaferro
    Te: kelce
    Flex: keenan allen

    Bn: allen robinson
    Bn: montee ball
    Bn: alfred blue
    Bn: martavis bryant
    Bn: tre mason

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @BraunWeasleys: DId you combine two two of the greatest characters of all time for your name on here? #Kudos.

      Blizerian and I???? what an idea. maybe I can get him to guest host. yea i like that trade a lot. pull the trigger. mckinnon has real tough schedule in playoffs. could be totally bottled up. .

      thanks for reading, big dog

      • BraunWeasleys says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I feel like we could all team up and tear it up. Me, the great Tehol Beddict, Dan Bilzerian and Kate upton. 4 of the greatest in the world watch out

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @BraunWeasleys: wow! there would be some serious sword crossing going on there. works for me

  3. Dom B says:
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    My roster should I trade TY Hilton and Kelvin for Antonio brown and he rejects that Kelvin and Crabtree for brown

    QB – Aaron Rodgers – Packers
    RB – LeSean McCoy – Eagles
    RB – Andre Ellington – Cardinals
    WR – Kelvin Benjamin – Panthers
    WR – T.Y. Hilton – Colts
    WR – Michael Crabtree – 49ers
    TE – Larry Donnell – Giants
    PK – Steven Hauschka – Seahawks
    DEF – Baltimore Ravens – Ravens

    Bench:
    QB – Ben Roethlisberger – Steelers
    RB – Fred Jackson – Bills
    RB – Charles Sims – Buccaneers
    WR – Odell Beckham – Giants
    WR – Percy Harvin – Jets
    TE – Delanie Walker – Titans

  4. LT Murray IV

    Tehol Beddict says:
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    Hilton is in the zone right now so I’m not sure if I like crushing your depth but Beckham is serviceable replacement for Benjamin maybe even better so I don’t really have a problem with it.

  5. goodfold2 says:
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    now 31-26-2 (10-4 last week, agreed with NO -3)
    PIT +1.5 (hard to go against division game home dog in closer matchups)
    PHI +1.5
    MIA -1.5
    JAX +10.5 (CIN probably doesn’t deserve that many pts with as bad as their D has been since week 4)
    TB +6.5 (CLE’s offense doesn’t deserve to be that large fav)
    MIN (WAS D has been terrible, and RG3 hasn’t played in a long time)
    NYJ +9.5
    ARI +3 (with healthy romo i probably go DAL here)
    SF -10 (if not for losing 3 O-Line players i probably go STL)
    NE +3 (just cause i haven’t believed how bad NE offense was for first 3-4 weeks and great since, doesn’t mean they haven’t been great ever since)
    SEA -14.5 (might be SEA’s last chance to look like this is last year’s team, doesn’t mean they will of course, but they played that way last week too)
    NYG +3.5 (coming off bye helps usually)

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @goodfold2: 10-3 last week????? You’re a legend!!!!! thats an incredible week, man. nice work. whats your lock this week?

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: too late now, but i probably would’ve said ARI or MIA.

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @goodfold2: won JAX by half a pt.

          • goodfold2 says:
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            @goodfold2: 9-6 last week, now 39-32-2.

  6. TheForbes427 says:
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    HOU +1.5: Not touching this myself, have a rule about backing road faves that the public loves.
    MIA -1.5: Miami creates so many matchup problems for SD, on top of the Chargers being injured.
    CLE -6.5: I’d trust Hoyer and Tate to stick it to the Buc’s who have checked. Especially if you have to rely on Bobby Rainey.
    JAX +10.5: I think Cinci’s gonna win, but not by 11. Also wouldnt touch this one.
    MIN PK: Back to back road games, and I think Minny creates some match up problems. Last time I checked RGIII was awful.
    KC -9.5: Off the Jets underdog kool aid. theyre just awful. KC is legit IMO and will smash them at home. Probably by 21+.
    AZ +3: I’m still on that Andre Ellington train, I think AZ wins straight up.
    STL +10: They should have rolled them at home the last time they played, I like them to pull the upset.
    NE +3: Home underdogs vs public money seems to be a tried and true formula. Not touching this one, but wouldn’t be surprised if the Pats coaching staff exposes Denver.
    Pit +1.5: On them for the same reasons you are.
    Giants +3.5: More of an Indy fade than an G Men backing.

    Good luck!

    • Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up says:
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      @TheForbes427: SEA-13.5. They’re going to smash OAK at home.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @TheForbes427: Lets do this!!! thanks for joining in!!

      • TheForbes427 says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I would have been on SEA -14.5 (didn’t touch it though, they gotta learn to bury teams when they get up by two scores or it’s going to be a painful 2nd half of the season) so I ended up 8-3 with the G-Men pending. Nice calls on Cleveland/TB guys, I’m off the Browns kool aid now too. In the 2nd half I had zero confidence in their ability to get into the end zone, and that will not change the rest of the way. Spread for Thursday’s game is -6.5 for Cincinatti, I think that’s pretty good looking at the moment with the emergence of Hill in the backfield.

  7. Baaaam peanut butter and jaaam says:
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    Baaaaaaaammm

    Offered Josh Gordon and Kelvin Benjamin for my
    Demariyus Thomas and martavis bryant

    I’m 6-2 in a 16 team league and pretty much have the W this week so I should be in playoffs. Which 2 wr’s would you rather have down the stretch? Im a big believer in Gordon

    Thanks!!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Baaaam peanut butter and jaaam: Loooooove Gordon but D Thomas is incredible and we haven’t seen Gordon. Id stick with what you got as Im not a Hoyer fan whatsoever

  8. FrankGrimes says:
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    “miss that juicy donk like shamu misses the ocean”
    hahaha that’s why I come back every week!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @FrankGrimes: i thought you’d like that one, Fraaaaankiiie.

  9. AJ says:
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    Due to bye weeks need to drop one…Gates or Sammy Watkins? thanks

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @AJ: depends where u stacked at. Gates if u have Jimmy or gronk.

  10. Qbert says:
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    T!

    So I have an offer…my lamar miller for josh gordon.

    my current RBs are: Miller, rashad jennings, alfred morris, branden oliver, ahmad bradshaw. thoughts?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Qbert: Q!!!

      I suppose its getting around that time to make a move. I’m assuming he wouldn’t do it for Bradshaw or Jennings? What are your receivers looking like tho?

      • Qbert says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:
        I haven’t discussed bradshaw or jennings…of the 3, which is the fairest?

        other receivers are Dez, Watkins, Benjamin and Michael Floyd, and cordarelle

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Qbert: i mean, you’re not desperate for a receiver so trade is not necessary id try bradshaw or Jennings first. otherwise i might hold since you’re fine at wr

  11. Dom B says:
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    Do you think I will win I have Big Ben, TY Hilton, Odell Beckham, Larry Donnell, Steven Hauska, And ravens d and I’m losing by 40 pts but he has Emanuel Sanders, Joe Flacco and Amad Bradshaw

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Dom B: Yes? Maybe? How did it go?

  12. Nick says:
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    Hey Tehol, so in my 10team non-ppr, the trade I offered this week (my Edelman for his K Allen) was JUST approved! Ha, go figure, Edelman is lighting up my bench and now he is shipped off for K Allen due to the upset of the CHargers in Miami….so did I still get the better end of this deal?

    Also, I can drop Dalton now, pickup Sims, T West, M Bryant, Landry or K Britt? I could definitely use WR help as I have Cobb, Allen, A Johnson, Cooks, Sanu & Beckham (& at RB I Have Murray, R Jennings, Ingram, McKinnon, & Matthews)…what would you do with those free agent options?

    • Nick says:
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      @Nick: I Could also grab DOnnell as a backup to Witten for week 11….thats another option if you dont like any of the above…

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Nick: nah no need for Donnell. You good, plaaaaaya

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nick: yes you def still got better end of deal. don’t worry about it as he would have been on your bench this week and then choked when you put him in late . id grab Bryant he’s killing

      • Nick says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Thanks Tehol, I grabbed Bryant this morning at 6:30AM for Dalton and Ravens defense dropping Cincy…next thing you know, I get a yahoo email notification from a league member saying ‘F*ck You Nick for picking up Bryant at 6AM before I could make my move! (we have no waivers except from dropped players)…glad I choose a player people were targeting in my 10-team which I’m in first, but battle the 2nd place guy next week!!

  13. Dom B says:
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    So the score is me with 45.5 pts while he has 86.9 pts. I have Big Ben, the ravens D, Odell Beckham Jr., Larry Donnell, TY Hilton while he has Joe Flacco and Amad Bradshaw. Do you think I will pull it off? Or lose?

    • Nick says:
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      @Dom B: I Think it it will be VERY close…will come down to does Beckham or Hilton carry you or does Flacco drown you?? I’d say the former is more likely, good luck!

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Nick: lets Hope T.Y. goes Ham and Eggs on that ass

  14. Nick says:
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    Also defense for week 10;

    Ravens v Ten
    Dallas @J ax
    Lions vs Miami
    Pitt @ NJY

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nick: ravens or Pittsburgh. hard to say that after ravens roasted today like cornish game hens but tennessee offense not scary

  15. Tehol Beddict says:
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    Sorry for not getting back sooner guys. I was banging my head against the computer all day due to my fantasy team choking nuts

  16. Dom B says:
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    So now after Ben raped the ravens d the score is me 88.2 and him with 105.22 so he is leading by about 17 pts. Who do you think will win I have TY Hilton, Odell Beckham Jr., and Larry Donnell while he has A mad Bradshaw.

    • Nick says:
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      @Dom B: easy win considering flacco got killed by Big Ben..I just grabbed Bryant so I’m hoping his wrath continues

  17. Nick says:
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    Hey Tehol, would you drop Parkey for Crosby, Carpenter, Dawson or Bryant?

    Also with a bye for Witten coming in week 11, would you drop maybe Cooks for Donnell? (I think Donnell is going to get scooped very soon as my opponent next week needs a TE for bye-fill-in)…my roster looks like this;

    10TEAM-NON-PPR
    QB-Rodgers
    WR-Cobb, K Allen, Bekham, Sanu, Cooks, A Johnson, M Bryant
    RB-Murray, R Jennings, Ingram, Matthews, McKinnon
    TE-Witten
    1K & 1D

    Sims & J Hunter are also available but I don’t even see someone on my team droppable for a TE fill-in, let alone Sims/Hunter..what do you think?

  18. Dom B says:
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    better add Adrain Peterson or roddy white for dropping Michael Crabtree also ROS Cowboy’s D or Ravens D

  19. Dom B says:
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    So I’m stacked at WR with TY Hilton, Kelvin Benjamin, Percy Harvin, Michael Crabtree, Odell Beckham Jr. and I need a little comfort at RB should I drop Crabtree for Adrain Peterson or Roddy White

    • Dom B says:
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      @Dom B:Or I could add Terrance West

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