In what is considered breaking news, to someone I guess, Andy Dalton pulled a coup de grâce, which I think is a French dessert, some kind of custard pastry thingamajig, and landed a 115 million dollar contract earlier today. Just imagine the total dollar amount if he was actually a good quarterback. I’m kidding, sorta.
While Dalton is an entirely serviceable quarterback, both in the real world and fantasy, he just really isn’t anything special, so the actual level of derpiness that the Cincinnati front office achieved won’t be known until details of the guaranteed figures are released. That being said, Razzball has an exclusive on what one of the incentives of his new contract is: If Andy Dalton leads the Bengals to a playoff game, Mike Brown is obligated to give the team a long-extended vacation starting the Monday after.
In three series, Eli Manning able to produce turnover, because of course…
If you missed it, and you shouldn’t have, since it was the first live football being played for what has felt like centuries, CENTURIES I TELL YA, the Giants took on the Bills because some people wanted to get into the Hall of Fame and what have you. The reasons why we had football yesterday matter not, for in just three offensive series, Eli Manning was able turn the ball over, already showing that he’s in midseason form. I have to say it guys, this seed of Archie is a true crowd-pleaser, a fan’s player if you will.
God I missed this face. You know that face. All of them.
GORDON-WATCH 2014 still ongoing…
The appeal process still appears to be ongoing in what most people said would just take one day to produce a finding in Josh Gordon‘s suspension hearing. Granted, most of those people are me, myself, and my internet browser, so take that for what you will. With a chance that a suspension might not be for an entire season as what was originally thought, fantasy owners that are drafting now are really caught in an interesting case of high-risk/high-reward. I have to say though, even if he doesn’t get suspended the entire season, I would be weary from drafting him, even at a buy-low, simply because we haven’t even dealt with the possibility of another suspension from his DUI. Not to mention that we have a player that appears to have as much self-control as Lindsey Lohan, and so I’m probably just going to go draft Brian Hartline instead. SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME!