Well Nick tried to work some Podcast Hosting mojo, and pumped up a special guest that never showed. That’s how to promo Nick! Maybe I’m just bitter because at the end he fired everyone. What is this, the Podcast Apprentice? You need a haircut Nick. Or maybe us regulars are all supposed to feel special… Despite our Podcast Czar running the show like, well, a Czar, Nick and I talk NFC notes including the historic Nick Foles game, Jay calls in and goes over AFC news including his terrible Chargers losing in OT, and Sky lets us know who to grab off the wire. Nick then relives his college days from the 1930s and pulls a G.O.B. at the Bluth company Christmas party. I’ll accept Nick dressed in a banana suit next week as an apology… Good this week and in your push to the playoffs!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
2013 Fantasy Football
Foles Me Once, Shame On You But Foles Me Twice, Well…
November 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 168 Commentsby: Sky
In the words of one of the more quotable presidents in recent memory, ‘ya fool me can’t get fooled again’. Read that with a Texans accent and you’ll get a better feel for who we’re going with here. Still no? Eh, ok, I’m not here to give you a recent presidential history lesson so I’m dropping the subject and moving on to the real story. Namely Nick Foles. Yes, the Nick Foles that put up a terrible line against a terrible defensive secondary in the Dallas Cowboys just two weeks ago which started the tailspin conversation of Chip Kelly’s offense ‘not working’ and being overrated. I get the negativity. Coming into today’s game, the Eagles hadn’t scored an offensive touchdown in 10 quarters. Yes, Tampa Bay scored an offensive touchdown or two in that same span. Yes, so did the Jaguars. Heck, a guy who only played on 19 snaps for his own team in week 8 – Marvin Jones – scored 4 touchdowns. What the heck was going on here? Oh NFL and your wily ways. When will we ever understand that this game ebbs and flows and just when it seems a team is the worst in the league that just a few adjustments could turn it around? Foles had a terrible day in Dallas, make no mistake. But then he got concussed and Vick stepped in for week 8 and it was clear he wasn’t healthy enough to be playing and in stepped 3rd stringer Matt Barkley. Well, I don’t know about you but it’s not very often I expect my third string QB to step in and lead a scoring drive. I am bringing all of this up to say don’t be worried about being Fole’d again. The kid and this offense can function at a high level. No, his channeling of the ghost of Peyton Manning – he’s dead to those who have him on bye this week – isn’t going to happen week in and week out. But I am saying the kid is good and can be good and will be good as he threw TD passes to 4 different receivers and finished 23/29 for 409 yards on the dot, 7 TDs and zero INT. Two QB leagues…well, he should already be owned. But if I have some iffy QB like Matt Ryan at this point, I’d jump at the chance at upside here and go with Nick. If you don’t put a waiver or some monies down on him this week, well…you don’t get Foles again. NO NO! In other news from the fine Sunday that was week 9 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…
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The Handcuff Report – The Tolbert Report
November 1, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Handcuff Report | 88 Commentsby: J-FOH
Tonight, we answer the question to why Mike Tolbert is relevant. How does anyone in Carolina notice when his name isn’t Newton, not the cookie, the quarterback. Why do Americans love their football so much and politicans so little, tell me your thoughts at #idiots rule. Why does this only sound good in my own head when I do this in a Steven Colbert voice? Maybe it’s the 6 beers and three glasses of scotch I’ve had. I don’t know, you can watch the real Colbert Report if your are already tired of this. In the spirit of the Colbert Report we will do the Word about Mr. Tolbert. He’s scored 3 on the ground and 2 through the air this year. All of those TD’s came in victories for the Panthers. Like any owner of the most relevant fullback in football, we hope Señor Rivera sees this too and decides to give him a chance to score every week because Tolbert +TD = VICTORY….for them and you. He’s a great bye week filler and will be someone to watch for match ups every week. I think the risk is similar to Danny Woodhead earlier in the year when we were unsure whether to start him or not for fear of touches. With the Panthers on a roll, I would go big, literally and send Tolbert out there if you have the need. He faces the Falcons this week who are competing with the Texans for biggest disappointment of the year award.
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Hard Targets: Marvin Jones the Only Cure for Halloween Hangover
November 1, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Hard Targets | 24 Commentsby: LT Murray IV
Let me tell you something
If you took away the chicken
If you took away the thongs,
the celebrity references.
If you took away the swingers lifestyle.
And all the yayed out strippers that come with it.
If you took away the chiseled body and movie star good looks.
What would you have left?
Everything????
Nahhh, for that is Beddict, and Beddict is I, ready to pump it up once again and feed your malnourished minds with a treasure trove of gems that are only found on Razzball. Greetings all! How did you do last week? Dropped another dud did you? Well just like Aldon Smith did, you need to take it one day at at time, and you need to find a solution. Trust in Dr. Beddict to vanquish your worriment and help snatch that league title you’ve been craving. Some of you, may have been in the same league for years and held title-less, and that my friends is a torturous experience I know all too well. Like a Catholic Priest who’s had his Lambo repo’d and been disallowed from being 50 feet from teenage boys, it’s almost like we are nothing. I Tehol Beddict, hereby challenge you to rise up and rage against the dying of the light! We shall overcome and become legends. We shall become like Marvin Jones, who went hambone on the opposition last week to the tune of 8 receptions for 122 yards with 4 Tds on 8 targets. I’ve privately praised Marvin now for the past 2 seasons and wondered why he wasn’t starting over the barely average, if that, Sanu. Well, he’s a must own in all leagues at this point and showed in last night’s game he is a touchdown machine. I know it was called back by a questionable call but such is life. We witnessed Sanu dropping multiple balls and it’s a certainty that his role will decrease going forward. Jones is a very nice WR3 option and possible flex option depending on byes. I’m sure he’s owned now in your league and if you swooped him, you receive a big kudos from Uncle Tehol. Let’s move on to some other players, some tantalizing and some disgraceful to the game. Witness.
Please, blog, may I have some more? His Name Is Gio And He Dances On The Grass
November 1, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 177 Commentsby: Sky
I have a 17 week season to cover and by comparison to baseball, it’s usually pretty easy to come up with a title that I both feel comfortable with and feel hasn’t been abused to death at the point in which I post it. But that’s mainly because I rarely have to write about the same person twice as the lede within a given season. Well, tonight made that kinda hard to avoid. Welcome back to center stage, Giovani Bernard, and thank you from the multiple teams I own you on for your night. After giving you the nickname ‘GOB’ from Arrested Development, I realized this understood his ‘Illusionist’ nickname so I have decided not to rest on these known tropes. Instead, I’ll forge down the Duran Duran path because…yeah, no good reason. it’s a blog about fantasy sports and I’m not on the cover of Yahoo Fantasy so I do what I want to do, when I want to do it and whatever time I so choose. I’m a diva like that. But to be fair, I need to point you to this run: RIGHT HERE. That was some straight up Barry Houdini Sanders chit, y’all! Which brings me back to my nickname: The Illusionist. After GOB Bluth. Don’t fight it, it’s there. Let it roll of your tongue onto twitter with a #Razzball after it it and get the ball rolling! But in all seriousness, this is the guy many suggested you draft and this is why you drafted him: 104 total yards with 4 receptions and 2 TDs on a night that could’ve been deemed near to Fantasy Football worthless outside of defenses, Gio-B delivered and any team that doesn’t own him right now is just jelly. Moving forward, I’d normally be concerned with a ‘rookie wall’ but I don’t feel he deals with enough carries to make that a concern. The rib injury? Eh, maybe a small concern but it sounds like he avoided any major issues on that front. Moving forward, you still have yourself a cheap RB2 in both standard and PPR formats in my book. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…
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Weekly IDP Rankings: Week Nine For 2013 Fantasy Football
October 31, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 23 Commentsby: Kevin Kumpf
I’ve spent most of the week in deep thought about one of the more important things in life right now: Why don’t Robert Quinn and Chris Long have a nickname yet? Bash Brothers is already taken. I was thinking something like Ebony and Ivory, but I guess we probably want to avoid the race issue. Then I got to thinking that the word sack should probably be included, but that evokes memory of another duo. Regardless of what you call them, you have to call their performance on Monday Night Football spectacular. On a night when the St. Louis offense couldn’t close the deal, their defense gave them a chance to win.
Quinn and Long combined for 9 tackles and 6 sacks in one of the more dominant pass rush displays we’ve seen by a team this year. Their impact performances were nearly matched by Bruce Irvin, who had 8 tackles, a sack, an interception and a forced fumble in just his 4th game back from a suspension. There were plenty more great games in Week 8, as well as some not-so-great games, so let’s take a closer look.
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Bet the Farm: NFL Week 9 Betting Contest
October 31, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Bet The Farm | 25 Commentsby: Josh Carey
Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:
- You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
- You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
- Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
- You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
- Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
- New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
- New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Weekly Rankings: Let’s Stay At The Hilton
October 31, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 284 Commentsby: Sky
When Reggie Wayne went down for the remainder of the year, the first thing I heard about was DHB stepping up. Stepping up to do what? Drop the ball more? And it’s here where I said ‘Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears’. And when I realized no one was listening I said this whole DHB love was absurd and that the one you want would be TY Hilton. You think I’d lie to you? I have Hilton as a top 10 WR this week and plan to have him as one for many weeks to come. So of course, DHB will use this bye week to realize trying to catch the ball with the back of his hands is pointless and goes off. Because life’s like that. In other news, I have James Jones high simply because I think he’ll be ready to go. If he’s not? You see where Boykin is? Well delete Jones and move Boykin up there. It’s that simple. In other news, J-Stew is expected back in Carolina. As if Tolbert wasn’t F’ing things up for everyone who owned DeAngelo, we now have Williams not practicing and a third pair of hands to muck around with things. Oh well, we drafted a flex we knew that’s what we’d get…we just wanted so much more…In other news, I don’t get the Russell Wilson ranking love. Sure, he’s the 11th best according to ESPN fantasy scoring but ahead of guys like RG3 who’ve had their bye. Plus it’s at home and you know Marshawn is angry after his last showing. I expect full BeastMode and at least 15 middle fingers and you should too. Foles & McCown? Surprise! Think gameflow and general skillset will make them top 12 options this week. Shonn Greene should be an interesting flex play for teams that are in need as the news from the Titans is he should get 15 touches if he’s healthy enough to go. Worried about CJ?K? Don’t be. Those are the carries up the middle that he was giving you 1.2 YPC on. No, that’s not an actual stat, just a guesstimate. He’s been terrible between the tackles this year anyways, I’m hoping we see him more in the passing game with this game plan laid out. Your DST this week? Pick a flavor. Lot of good defenses with reasonable matchups out there. Definitely streaming season. But enough, we prattle on too long. Let’s get to the week 9 rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…
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Week 9 Players to Play/Avoid: CJ’s OK
October 30, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 52 Commentsby: Loudon
Jason Avant was the second best receiver for Philadelphia with 54 receiving yards, but as soon as Vick came out of the game, I knew it was curtains for my run of great sleeper picks. That just means it’s time to start a new one! Keep reading to find out who it will be.
After missing the last two weeks, it seems as though DeMarco Murray is ready for action once again and he’s in a fantastic matchup to kick things off. Since it sounds like the Cowboys were playing it safe with Murray this past weekend by keeping him off the field for an extra week, expect big things from him once again.
Chris Johnson is also in a great matchup this week. In fact, with a bunch of easy matchups for the rest of the season, Johnson might actually be someone you want to target in a trade. Don’t sell the farm to get him, but if he’s already on your team, he’s a must start this week.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Bad Graham’er
October 30, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 260 Commentsby: Sky
Normally I start these buy/sells off with a buy. I like to get you excited about getting ‘that one guy’ for cheap like I hope I did with Alfred Morris last week. Then I slowly ease you into what may be a call that you disapprove of or just don’t wanna hear. But this whole partially torn plantar fascia business is too big to ignore in my book and so I’m here to tell you to push the sell button on Jimmy Graham. The reason I say sell now can be summed up with a number: 18. That’s the amount of snaps Graham was in to play on on Sunday. Want more numbers to back up my stance? Cool, how about three. That’s the amount of targets he got in the game. Brees threw the ball 34 times in week 8. So Graham was a product of only 8.8% of Brees’ work on Sunday but no one cares because touchdowns. Specifically two of them. That saves a 3/37 day every time. Throw on the fact this game was after a bye week, do you want to hang your hat on that kind of production week in and week out? Our beloved Tehol mentioned a TE a couple of years ago who struggled through a similar injury. His name? Antonio Gates. Though statistically it wasn’t a bad year for Gates in 2010, he ended up only playing 10 games and bowed out during the time his owners needed him most: the playoffs. Now I’m not telling you the situation is exactly the same but do you really want to count on Graham to play through it and perform at the level you’re used to? Do you want to count on the Saints not sitting him at the end of the year if they have their division wrapped up to make sure he’s good to go for the playoffs? Basically, as a Graham owner you got a Joseph Fauria-type week and it masked a lot of things to be fearful of. He’s still a top 10 to 15 player so I’m saying you get out while the value is still there. I’d look to do a 2-2 trade where you take the ‘lesser’ TE and upgrade at another position in this scenario unless you have Reed or a player like him just waiting to take over for him on your team. Either way, I’d be getting out while the gettin’s good. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football…
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Jam it or Cram it: Tricks and Treats in the Razzball Lounge
October 29, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 62 Commentsby: The Guru
Welcome once again my fantasy friends to The Razzball Lounge. The Lounge is the place we fake football scribes gather to talk the trash, tease the Tehol and drown the sorrows in early morning Bloody Mary’s – hey bartender, make it spicy and put a pickle in that! JB, that’s not a pickle. This week in the lounge it’s our annual Razzballin’ Halloweeny Spooktacular. That means you drink anytime someone screams “Ghostbusters” and also explains why Sky is dressed as a pregnant nun and snorting crushed up Smarties off the bar. “Hey guys, anyone want a bump?” Sky loves his sugar high and just can’t kick the habit. See what I did there? *high fives no one* Dropping quarters at the jukebox Jay Wrong plays “The Monster Mash” for the 23rd time. “Check out my Jennifer Lawrence costume!” *bottle smashes above head* It should be noted that Jay’s “Jennifer Lawrence” costume consists only of a brown wig and yoga pants. One of these things he wears on a regular basis. Locked in the ladies room the one and only Tehol Beddict, clad in his 6th grade He-Man Masters of the Universe costume, is sharing his “fun-size Snickers” with this handsome lady. “I thought she was dressed as a member of the Village People? Really.” And standing here at the pool table in my Edward Scissorhands get-up is your humble-but-nonetheless-festive Guru. *closes eye, aims cue, fires ball through window, cuts face* “You try to shoot with scissors for hands!” Here be the Week 9 Fantasy Frankensteins. It’s time to jam it or cram it.
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RCL Football Update: Week 8
October 29, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 16 Commentsby: JB Gilpin
Another week and another W! OK, so I’m a lot less proud of my 8-0 team after beating Tehol’s God Forgives I Don’t team that had two guys left in on byes. God remembers bye weeks, and you don’t Tehol! Everyone publicly smite him. Because not only did he forget to check that team, but now you have to deal with me raving on about an 8-0 team and another step closer to winning RCL! Shameful one of the wins was by 4 against underwear-chicken man, but a win is a win. Like the Seahawks on Monday Night. Whether it be a blown call by replacement refs or that miserable showing last night against the Rams, wins be wins. All 4 other 7-0 teams also won this week, so none of the unbeatens have fallen. You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.
TOP SCORER: The top scorer through Sunday held out to be the top scorer this week – huge props to the Redeye Raiders for putting up a whopping 213 points this week in the Take On Jaywrong league. Led by Megatron’s 50 and Brees’ 33, that 83 right there outscored a lot of RCL teams! The win takes Redeye to 5-3 and third place in the league, taking down Dread Pirate Roberts who stays in second going from 6-1 to 6-2. Climbing the rankings, Redeye! But all roads lead to Yeshcheese and yet another win for one of the RCL’s elite undefeated teams. Feels good up here, don’t it! And wouldn’t you know it, Redeye after notching the highest RCL score will be playing Yeshcheese is a huge week 9 throwdown. Congrats again to the Redeye Raiders!
