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Look, it’s your fault. You’re playing through to week 17 as your championship. No one put a gun to your head to make it that way. You went into your options, selected weeks 15 through 17 as your playoffs so now you get to talk about backups that no one has talked about all year. Well ok, we’ve talked about Christine Michael in passing. He had a strong preseason for the Seahawks but we all knew the story would end there. Seattle is Beastmode country and we all know it. But what happens if the Seahawks lock up home field advantage through the rest of the NFC playoffs this Sunday? What are they playing for in week 17? I mean, I get that it’s at home and they’ll want to keep that pristine home record intact but are they really gonna roll RW3 and company out there for abuse in a game that doesn’t matter much all day? I’m gonna have to say what my magic 8 ball says when I ask if I’ll become a famous hand model: unlikely…you’ve got a couple of hammer fingers…and why don’t you clean your nails? My Magic 8 Ball gets a bit personal sometimes…but nevermind all that, we’re here to talk about Christine. I have a hard time believing Turbin gets to run the show. He’s still too important for the playoff run to put him out there too much and so in steps Michael. Though it’s hard enough to predict the future in weekly rankings, I’m here trying to predict how a team will do in two weeks and whether or not they’ll even run their starters out on the field so give me some slack if this don’t work, y’all. Given that the Rams are in the bottom five for points against from opposing RBs, Christine is set up for a nice day if he finds the field. And if he goes off, we’ll have to spend the rest of the off-season hearing about him going in the 2nd or 3rd round in 2014. Joy. But let’s finish this show off. Here’s the rest of the ideas I’ve got brewing for week 17 of this crazy 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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2013 RCL Football Razzball Nation!  The semis are in the books, and it all comes down to the championship.  Unless, of course, you lost by 10 in the Writer’s League because someone just happened to have Justin Tucker…  Bitter!  Public service announcement, the standings won’t be updated until the playoffs have completed, and the grand champion will be announced after Christmas, probably December 27.  Yes, even Razzball gets some Holiday time off!  You can still check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you stacked up against your Razzball competitors before the playoffs in your quest for an RCL title.

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Seriously, I shouldn’t have to be writing this lead. This is fantasy football, right? We’re talking about a fake sport where we want to crush our opponents with an amazing game or two from some star players, right? Well Baltimore don’t care, people. This offense has been stuck in neutral all year and – no surprise – so has most of the fantasy worth surrounding the team. Even good matchups haven’t been exploited to the extent they could be. Detroit’s secondary should’ve been torched tonight and they were able to move the ball plenty on jump balls. It was like watching the 2012 season all over again. I like to think of it as the chuck and pray offense. Well, last year a lot of prayers were answered. This year, not so much. Baltimore can move the ball fairly well but haven’t been able to do much of anything with their opportunities once they get close in. And that’s why I have to talk about a kicker. Well, that and the Lions offense was a bit of a bore so that didn’t help. Either way, Justin Tucker has probably helped more than one fantasy team get to their respective Super Bowl this week and I gotta tell ya…I’m not happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you got in. Yes you. You know I’d follow you to the ends of the Earth and back. So here’s to you…you. But no, it’s just further proof to me that kickers have entirely too much sway on the outcome of this game we play. Of Justin’s 6 field goals, I’d say 2 of them were legit and the rest was just more Ravens offense failure. I already went over my disgust with the kicker position this summer. I don’t think I can cover it any better. Ok, I probably could’ve but much like Allen Iverson and practice, we talkin’ bout kickers. Not a game, no not a game…kickers. So here’s to you, the team that is strutting its stuff on their way to the big game on the big leg of a kicker who may not even finish top 5 at his position next year if the Ravens can figure out what the end zone looks like. In other fantasy news…ok, ok I know you all wanna know where I went last weekend and why I had JB covering me for the week 15 rundown. Well, I got to go to this little thing called the Playboy Mansion. You know, no biggie. Just me, my Fantasy Baseball compadre Grey Albright, and the handsome SOB I pretended I was all weekend Tehol Beddict. Since there’s no Thursday Night Football, we might see what we can do to give a taste of the event we went to on Friday but I hold no promises as I should probably be sleeping for the next five days just to make up for the evil I did to myself with an open bar. I think even my fingers have a hangover right now…neverthewhoo! Let’s get on with it…

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2013 is [mostly] in the books!  And it’s our final episode of the year.  Instead of sapping up for the finals, we decide to end on an optimistic fashion forward note where we mock the first 2 rounds of the 2014 draft.  And I have to say, it got pretty crazy in there.  Nick mocked me, I mocked Nick, I apparently made a joke JayWrong made last week.  It was a mess!  Can you tell we drank away our playoff losing sorrows with egg nog and gin?  A lot of uncertainty will make next year’s draft a lot of fun, and probably nothing close to the lunacy we went through today… If you’re in the finals, good luck in getting that championship and I hope everyone had a fantastic 2013 season!

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Razzball Nation!  I’m filling in for Sky this morning in the football recap, as Sky was called by Al Davis for a possible CB job opening.  That would be scary for multiple reasons!  Man Oakland was brutal.  Long live the Chiefs offense!  Jamaal Charles had a historic game (6th highest fantasy output in non-PPR since 1960), making the Raiders D look worse than some of those Raiders costumes.  The real Rocky Horror Picture Show was the pass D, as JC Superstar enlightened fantasy owners with 8 catches (on 8 targets) for 195 yards and 4 TDs.  Plus an extra 20 on the ground with a score there.  Straight video game numbers!  “RB screen, X, X, X!”  Actually that sounds like a porn title.  I’ll have to ask Tehol about that one.  Charles has been effing fantastic this year, and I think easily the fantasy MVP.  Sure you could argue Peyton Manning, but if you have JC and you’re somehow not waltzing through the playoffs than you only have yourself to blame!  Is he fantasy’s #1 pick next year?  I don’t see how you could resist.  If someone really wanted Adrian Peterson, I’d turn to them after that pick ala the 1,000-year old dude in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and go “he chose poorly…”  While some teams had their dreams melt away, others are marching into the finals with the rest of the week 15 happenings…

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Knile Davis is getting some real love from Andy Reid these days. Maybe it was all those layers he had to work through? Maybe it’s because the Chiefs are a lock for the playoffs? I don’t really care, it’s here and it’s real. Reid acknowledges that Knile needs more touches and after last weeks audition I would have a hard time arguing against that. Our valiant leader Sky wrote about Knile already once this week, so at least we know that I really know how to suck up to the boss. Great job Sky! Looking good in that new mock turtle neck! The Chiefs offense is like small ball in baseball, mostly because Smith can’t throw farther than 20 yards, or so it appears, and like to pound it out and dump passes to the closest guy in a red and white jersey. I know I might be exaggerating a little here, but I have my reasons…Whiskey. If Knile gets his shot this week, and I’m 99% sure we see 15 touches from Knile, then what we got here might be a winner. The Broncos lost to the Chargers so the door is open and I think the Chiefs come out and knock the crap out of the Raiders. This leads to Davis getting those touches as they run it out against the Raiders and also evaluate a weapon that has been under utilized. Like Sky said, he’s a flex play this week in PPR formats and is probably in a better UPSIDE position than those with a better floor. Next week is the more ideal, but I could see him getting some run.

You might not be in the championship and you might be playing for pride….you always should play for pride. Regardless of where you are, players are still good to stash and use. Here’s a few others that might make some week 15, 16 and 17 play.

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Doc is back and has another room full of patients after last week’s spate of season-ending injuries.

Rob Gronkowski was lost for the season after tearing two ligaments in his knee. Arizona lost safety Tyrann Mathieu to a torn ACL and LCL which ends his strong rookie season. Baltimore wide receiver Brandon Stokely suffered a concussion and is done for the season. Green Bay put seldom-used receiver Myles White on IR with a knee injury and it leaves the Packers few options in the passing game. Brandon Jacobs of the Giants is done after getting a cartilage graft in his left knee.

You get the idea. People are dropping like flies at the end of the season but most of them aren’t fantasy-relevant which makes it easier to sift through the impacts of said injuries.

Gronkowski being done makes Danny Amendola and Julian Edelman better options, especially in PPR formats. When you factor in Kenbrell Thompkins (hip) being questionable for this week, it makes both of those wide receivers Tom Brady’s top targets. Shane Vereen is also back there too but when it comes to deep passes he really has two choices.

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F#ck if your favorite writer dies, to me that’s my spot. I’ll celebrate his burial and eat at Ihop. Greetings ya’ll! Tis I, Tehol Beddict, Razzball’s resident mankini model and fantasy savant. Just because I get paid to flex my toned glutes, doesn’t in any way mean I can’t guide you to glory on the fantasy football field. It’s understandable that one would think there’s no way I could find the time to analyze each and every player in the NFL due to the fact I spend 6 hours a day doing Bobby Brown pushups and another 4 flexing in the mirror, but it is so. Having spare wenches around to massage my ass with warm milk while I watch game film is a major plus and without those Beddict groupies I’d be useless. We are now in crunch time and there is no time to waste my friends. I can only write about my bronzed buns for so long. Once your erection finally withers away move on to some in depth playa talk. Take heed!

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It’s hard to trust certain guys. No, I’m not talking about the real world here, people. This isn’t a suggestion to the ladies of the world to be careful out there but since we’re on the subject: Hey. Ladies of the world out there. Be careful. No, I’m talking about guys who’ve burned us in the past in the fantasy football world. They’ve failed us at big intervals or came on too late in the season for it to matter. Or maybe they’ve had a bad year or two in the past coupled with health issues. You drew an ‘X’ through their name in red marker, put a yuk sticker on them and wrote ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ when draft day rolled around. But sometimes these guys we write off surprise us. Yes, seemingly out of nowhere, fantasy guys we loved and now love to hate can become studs. It’s not always an overnight process but it feels like it with Ryan Mathews. After his 5th 100 yard rushing game of the year with 29 carries for 127 rushing yards and a touchdown, Mathews is now tied for the NFL lead for 100 yard rushing games on the year with Adrian Peterson and LeSean McCoy. Yes, you read that right. Sure, Shady or maybe even All Day if he’s healthy could possibly reclaim that lead over him this weekend but just reading that shows how much Mathews has improved over an abysmal 2012 campaign that had him looking flat, slow and bewildered even before he broke TWO collarbones last year. He got labelled soft and a bust all at the ripe age of 25. Hard to imagine everything being downhill when you haven’t even had to shave your ear hair yet but that was Mathew’s judgement and I’ll fairly say I joined in with the crowd on this. Though his preseason was strong, I did not see this coming and to be fair, the Bolts didn’t either as they brought in Danny to spell him and were extra cautious in using him early on in the season. But even prior to tonight, Mathews has been one of the better RBs in the league as he’s been the 11th best fantasy RB in standard and the 15th best in PPR scoring over the last 5 weeks. Surprised? Shocked? Appalled? Drunk? Eh, it’s Friday, I’m not surprised if its all four. The point is, he’s been much better than we’ve realized and it’s time to give him his due so here’s to you, Mr. Mathews. May someone find that missing ‘t’ for you some day but until then, good on ya. In other news from Thursday Night Football from week 15…psyche! I haven’t psyched you guys out in a while, I know. Things have been running along smoothly but I’m going to a bit of an ‘event’ this weekend. I’m sure Tehol or J-FOH will probably blather all about it in their posts but until then I can pretend I get to keep it a super awesome secret until next week. Suspense…it’s a killer. Now on with the rest of the Thursday roundup…

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One common mistake that all fantasy owners, not just IDP owners, make is to overrate strong performances in the playoffs. On the offensive side of the ball, guys like Josh McCown and Marques Colston had huge weeks, but that doesn’t mean that you’re starting them in the semi-finals over Matt Stafford and DeSean Jackson. The same thing applies on the defensive side of the ball. Matchups determine a lot about IDP stats, and as we saw last week, weather can mean a lot as well.

Here are some guys who put up big numbers in Week 14, and whether I think they can do it again in Week 15:

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I can’t fight it anymore. I know everyone tells you never to let others influence how you think and feel but it’s so hard to this week. I mean, I recommended the Oakland Raiders last week on defense. How stupid could I be? I’ve got to right the ship. I gotta become one with the other rankers and just give in, right? There’s no hope trying to play outside the box, all outside box playing is futile. I should just jump off the fantasy rankings bridge with everyone else…nah, I’m just joking. But I had you going for a minute, right? I’m one of the best written actors of my generation, or so I’ve been told. You should see me type Hamlet! I’ve been compared to Kenneth Branagh in that regards. In fact, I’m hoping for my first Golden Globe nomination this year once they create a category for me. I’ve already picked out my suit. I wonder if people will be able to tell I borrowed it from my dad…eh, let’s not talk about my eventual rise to fame. It bores me. Better yet, let’s talk about Pierre Thomas and his great matchup against the Rams. To be honest, I’m a bit surprised I’m one of the few this high on him. Do these other ‘perts not know the Rams are ranked near the bottom in terms of fantasy points allowed to opposing running backs? That was rhetorical. Of course they know but they’re probably too busy paying attentio to how unproductive he’s been of late. It happens but to be fair, when PT has been given a good matchup he has produced. Sure, he’s not likely to put up 200+ yards any time soon but about 120 total yards and a TD are well within reach for the PT Bruiser this week and I like his chances he grabs those reigns and rides into fantasy glory. In other areas to trumpet on, we’ve got quite a few rankings wrinkles this week. Steven Jackson? Sometimes the matchups make the man and given he’s performed well of late, it’s hard to deny him a top 10 RB finish. Same goes for Ryan Mathews who has sneakily been a top 10 play over the last 4 weeks in PPR leagues but he’s out there singing Black Eyed Peas to us. Folks, where is the love? Besides these guys, further down the road we have Mendenhall getting a mega-bump along with the Ogre and Donald Brown to wrap up my top 20 RBs and I also gave Ellington a nudge. This IS still the same Titans team that can’t stop the run, right? At wide out, I’m finally treating Dez like what he has been: good but not great. And while I’m at it, I gave Hilton and Patterson a little WR2 love bite due to matchups and explosiveabiltiy. No need to google that, it’s totally a word. At TE, I gotta say: it Ertz so good. On the DST front, Tampa Bay…woah. I know, I know, San Fran isn’t the Buffalo Bills. But Tampa Bay isn’t 0-8 Tampa Bay anymore and for very good reasons and are playing at home. Kickers? Just my niece and I playing a game of Hungry Hippos where the marbles have kicker names on them. The ones I got were in, the ones she got were out. But enough about Delta Burke winning me Josh Scobee, let’s get on with it. Here’s the rankings for week 15 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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