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Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

  • You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
  • You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
  • Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
  • You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
  • Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
  • New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
  • New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.

Standings After Week 12:

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True facts: I don’t believe there’s much variance this week to talk about. It’s like I ate some turkey earlier than you and passed out. Snore-o-rama up in this bish, right? It’s not very often I’m humbled into yammering about having a player like Victor Cruz up 8 in standard rankings over where everyone else has him. Reason? He’s usually backed up poor performances with pretty big games afterwards. Don’t believe me? Well you see, you’re on the internet reading this so you could probably just google it…hint, hint. It’s been a rocky year for the Salsa Dance man but I fully expect him to shine this coming Sunday. Overall, it was a hard week to rank. There are more Q’s in these than a Dairy Queen managers convention. Don’t ask. I have zero clue if that’s such a thing. Over in the world of QBs, Josh McCown drops by your top 5. He tells me to tell you hi. I guess I believe in EJ Manuel more than you while I’m at it. Nah, really just disbelieve the Falcons and their complete and utterly destructive 2013 season to date, especially on defense. At RB, Roughshod gets a top 10 nomination again and makes me wonder what he has to do to get respect at this point. Oh and Arizona is gonna give up some points to one of the Eagles TEs this week. Maybe both. But probably one…and I don’t know which one but I’m banking on Ertz if I’m making a choice to take a chance here. Defenses, it seems people are slowly becoming aware that Tampa Bay has finally shown back up. Think that Panthers vs Bucs game is gonna be a lot closer and defensively contested the whole way than people think. And finally, some quick gambling bits: Dennis Johnson could finally do what many have tried to in Texas do before and that’s sucede from the union. Marquise Goodwin and Justin Hunter are fringe WR3 players of note. Finally, I expect Colin Kaepernick to come back to Earth this Sunday. Kickers, as always, were ranked with love and care by some children we paid less than minimum wage to in a small, poorly ventilated room in a far off land. Don’t let their efforts be forgotten. And with that, let’s get this show on the road. Here’s week 13 rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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For many fantasy football leagues, this is the week that decides whether or not you’re in the playoffs. The good news is that a lot of the top tier talent has fantastic matchups. Adrian Peterson, Jamaal Charles, Matt Forte, and Frank Gore were likely all taken in the first or early second round at the beginning of the season and if you were smart/lucky enough to draft them then, they are sure to guide you to victory this week. There are exceptions to that, of course, but you didn’t draft them quite as early.

Knowshon Moreno only gained 79 yards against Kansas City two weeks ago and this week he faces them again, this time nursing a bone bruise somewhere around his ankle. The injury doesn’t sound serious, but the matchup is. If you’re comfortable with 8 points from your RB2/3 then go ahead and start him, but don’t count on a huge week from the Denver feature back.

Le’Veon Bell is in a very similar position to Moreno. In week 7, he had less than 10 fantasy points against Baltimore’s tough run defense. This week he travels to Baltimore to face them again. He’s clearly the workhorse for the Steelers so he’s difficult to sit, but he’s unlikely for a score in a crucial week for fantasy teams.

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Well, you finally made it. Or you kinda made it. Still a week left and anything can happen until you get that asterisk next to your team name and unlike Barry Bonds, getting that asterisk next to it is a good thing. This is gonna be a potpourri post of sorts and by that I don’t mean it’s gonna smell like the insert in a Good Housekeeping magazine. I’m gonna touch on a few strategies as best I can. Unlike other Fantasy Football machine-driven sites, I’m the hard drive, the mother brain, the encrypted file to this whole Razzball rankings game we got going on. Which also leads me down paths some would fear to tread some weeks. I have my moments of striking gold but also moments of hitting my neighbor’s sewage pipe so let’s not freak too much the funk out if you disagree with my musings. But this is a DST post to end all DST posts so let’s not dawdle about. Here’s some playoff strategies for your playoff run for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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Welcome once again my fantasy friends to the Razzball Lounge. Every year at this time your Razzballin’ scribes gather together in the lounge for Thanksgiving in an effort to avoid the family, complain about our teams, knock back a few and give our thanks to the Fantasy gods on another season well played. It’s just like what the Pilgrims did – without the small pox and post-meal genocide. On this festive day we find our fearless leader Sky in a gravy stained wife-beater hugging the waitress and crying over the loss of his season because he drafted Doug Martin No. 1, “I wanna be your muscle hamster.” *SLAP* Sitting alone in a dark corner JB Gilpin enjoys his pumpkin pie and mutters again and again, “Cam Newton is the MVP, Cam Newton is the MVP.” Over at the jukebox is the one and only J-Foh, dropping quarters and playing “Alice’s Restaurant” for the 10th straight time, “You can get anything you want at…” *bottle smashes above head* Locked in the ladies room the one and only Tehol Beddict asks this pretty lady if she wants to see his giblets, “Whatever happens in the Razzball Lounge stays in the Razzball Lounge, right guys??” And standing here at the pool table is your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru. *closes eye, aims cue, sinks 8-ball off three rails, pulls wishbone from pocket* “Make a wish. It’s time to jam it or cram it.”

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2013 RCL FootballAnother week of RCL action has concluded, and I finally bought an RCL win!  Brutal stretches of 0-3 in the Writers League and my RCL league had me singin’ da blues, but my Writers League squad has me back on track, at least somewhere in life…  While I won’t be in the RCL crown contention, if I finish near the top of the overall standings with a squad, I’ll be content.  Satiated.  Appeased.  You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.

RCL Top ScorerTOP SCORER: Well congratulations…  RCL’s version of the evil empire in Gtoxitis decided he wanted to get the top score this week, and lead my article and wrap-up to absolutely ruin my week.  You’ve ruined Thanksgiving!  I hope you’re proud… With 194.42 points led by Jamaal Charles and Flash Gordon, we must all hail Gtox our week 12 winner.  The win moves em to 10-2 and atop The Shadynastys looking like a lock for the #1 playoff spot.  In all seriousness, congrats to Gtox and their big win!

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I guess this is the part of the review where I open with being impressed, right? Where I shine the light on the best player in the game and point out his virtues and then back it up with the stat line for proof. But the thing is, I don’t think I have it in me to misrepresent the facts. You see, tonight the cake was a lie. Sure, the end line for Colin Kaepernick looked nice: 15/24 for 235 and 3 passing TDs to go with 20 yards rushing. If that were on my team, I wouldn’t turn it down at all. Heck, I’d marry that end line even if it were my half-sister…sorry, lost in a few leagues this week. My desperation levels for a win knows no bounds sometimes. Take that Blue Lagoon! I just one-upped you in nastiness. And when did Brooke Shields become a man? I was not privy to this change…nevertheless, all we’re talking about is stats when we look at that Kaep end line. What we don’t talk about is game flow, defensive game plan and the quick response. The first three drives by SF took a total of 4 minutes, 22 seconds and showed how the ‘skins planned to attack SF. They told the 49ers they were gonna sell out on the run and make Kaepernick pass for the win. But when you give up as much on the ground as Washington does fantasy wise – 2nd most according to ESPN heading into Monday – and you’re still one of the worst against the pass (5th worst against opposing QBs), you’ve got to draw a line in the sand somewhere and say what you’re going to target in a game. And pretty much, the ‘skins dictated that if the 49ers were going to beat them, they’d have to do it through the air by stacking the box and Kaep said ‘thank you for this opportunity’. In reality, this game was no less mistake-laden than other Colin performances have been this year, it was simply masked by an inferior opponent and game flow so now, everyone is going to be talking about Kaep bicep kisses for a week. Well, consider me not one of them. I still think Kaep can be great but I’ve seen a timid and unsure Colin one too many times this year when the first read doesn’t go his way. Consider this a warning, Kaep owners: Washington is the worst at seemingly everything on defense and yet they decided to let Kaep try and beat them. Not something that would make me confident moving forward. In other news from MNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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With a chill in the air and a bite to the wind, the Razzball Podcast is back!  Nick had no other way to stay warm than pounding some Canadian whisky through the night, so he practiced the national remedy of hangover cures by sleeping outside naked in the negative temperature.  Well, he said it was negative Celsius, I don’t understand no metric!  Once Nick finally got into the studio, he and I recap week 12 on a frightfully cold Sunday including Josh Gordon’s big game, what to do with Tavon Austin at this point, and Nick’s strategy for DraftKings moving forward.  Then Sky calls in to let us know who to grab from the wire in your playoff push.  If you’re in a nail-biter in MNF, good luck tonight and have a great Thanksgiving!

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Normally a big game from someone comes early in the day and I circle it, pin it on my 100 %recycled cork board and dictate the rest of my post in pieces here and there throughout but I’m not gonna lie: the Broncos vs Pats game I had circled. I just knew the name would come out of this game. I mean, we had all those stars and great storylines. Wes Welker returning to face his former team. Amendola living up to the hype of trying to replace Wes in New England. Peyton Manning doing his best nihilist impersonation. Gisele rushing onto the field and Tonya Harding’ing Welker also came to mind. But instead, out of all the storylines this game brought to life, it was really center stage for a guy who’s been under-appreciated for what he has meant to his team, been called out on twitter and in general gets no respect. I’m of course talking about Knowshon Moreno, the much maligned starting RB for the Broncos whose emergence started last year when Willis went down with an injury and rolled into this year while all the pundits said Montee Ball would be the star in Denver. And yet, through it all Moreno has put up some very solid fantasy numbers on the year. But I’m taking this second to point out a different part that’s just as important; what he means to his team. Moreno ‘gets it’ and Peyton knows it. He trusts him. When Moreno is out there, Manning knows he’s got a guy who knows the play and will be ready to block if the play changes and where he needs to be to make the team successful. Of course, twitter has been cruel to him but it’s also shed some light here and there as well. And despite the massive fantasy day, tallying 224 rushing yards on 37 carries to go with a TD, Moreno left the stadium in a walking boot and on crutches. I’m pointing all of this out to say it’s not just Moreno owners who should be worried about this injury as it could affect the offense as a whole if he misses significant time. You think I’m being melodramatic up in here? Think back on all those fumbles by Peyton on huge sacks. Guess who was in to pass block? Mmm-hmmm. He’s real football important and because of that his fake football persona is relevant. Montee Ball started the collapse for the Broncos in the second half with a fumble and has had pass pro issues. Ronnie Hillman has been in the inactive dog house since his fumble fiasco at the goal line in the Colts loss. CJ Anderson? Odd if they wanted him involved why they haven’t given him many reps since the Hill demotion. All this to say, Broncos thought it was cold Sunday Night. We might be finding out how warm it is when he’s away. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know…in other news from week 12 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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This might be old news or you might have been on a staycation and turned off all your electronic devices for the last week, but damn, why did the Colts trade for T-Rich? Donald Brown looked really good last week and being that he is averaging 5.9 YPC to T-Rich’s 2.8 you would think he would be the starter and the trade bust would be the waterboy. Oh wait a minute, wrong boy, not the waterboy, the piss boy. I know what you are all thinking, why talk about a guy that is the obvious add when we all know better than to play T-Rich? Because we here at razzball like to beat a dead horse till it’s all glue and dog food….and we still get lots of should I play T-Rich questions. Drop his ass like your internet date dropped you when she went to “the bathroom” and never came back. Last week and part of this week it was all raining Rainey up in here after that suspenseful build up and amazing delivery by the guy who got CUT by the Browns back in October. The Browns should’ve had Donald Brown thrown into the deal. Could you imagine the merch sales of the Brown Browns jersey?

The season is winding down, playoffs are a few hangovers away and Sky is starting to lose it. We need to stay sharp and start going with our best players, study our schedules weeks ahead, and maybe grab some handcuffs in case a stud gets shut down, injured or demoted. I’m not saying to go grab Gerhart in case AP gets hurt but I would stash Bryce Brown, Robert Turbin, Christian Michael, Montee Ball, Dennis Johnson, Bernard Pierce, and Kendall Hunter….oh what the hell, grab Gerhart if you’re really feeling an AP injury is coming. Before you all go WTF J-FOH, I’m not saying to drop someone usable, but if you have 6 WR’s and you are only going to play 3 or 4 of them, and the 6th guy won’t hurt you on someone else’s team then yeah go grab a stash. Rid yourself of your back up kickers and 3rd team defense. You want to be ahead of the game and think about situations that may occur in the last 2 weeks of the season. Most especially if your championship week is the last week of the season. By the way, I think that is the dumbest thing ever and damn all commishes that make the championship week the last week of the year. I can hear it now, ” Hey, I have Peyton, and he’s only playing a couple series this week and I need to start either EJ Manuel or Geno Smith for my championship matchup” I don’t want to see that and will only answer questions like that with really stupid questions. Be smart FFB’s and start stashing good upside guys that MIGHT get some PT. This also goes for WR’s. Lastly, I was really disappointed we had zero hecklers for Prezzi’s freestyles in football bash last weekend. I invite him back again to lay it down like an underground MC in an abandoned warehouse.

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The team that resides in the nation’s capital is having a real hard time lately. They have two key injuries this week and it’s starting to look bleak.

First they lost WR Leonard Hankerson for the season to a torn ACL. The doctors were checking his knee after an injury to his LCL suffered against Denver and that’s when they found the ACL damage.

Tight end Jordan Reed (concussion) is also up in the air for this week’s game too. He’s sat out the last couple days’ worth of practice and his status for Monday night against San Francisco is unknown. While he has the extra day this week, he’s not an advisable start this week.

I’d also be gunshy about playing RGIII for the same reason. He’s also starting to run out of receivers. It’s basically down to Santana Moss and Pierre Garcon, the latter of whom I am amazed is still healthy and upright at Week 12. Fred Davis isn’t inviting at the tight end spot. Alfred Morris adds nothing in the passing game (three receptions this season) so Roy Helu would be the only real pass-catching option out of the backfield.

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