Sawbones Scribings Week 11 – Arian Foster’s Bad Disc Crashes Houston Offense

The big injury news of the week is Houston running back Arian Foster undergoing back surgery to repair and alleviate issues stemming from a disc in his lower back. It’s a good thing this finally happened. He missed OTAs with the issue and was having pain down into this legs during the little time he was on the field a training camp.

What is a ruptured disc anyways?

When a disc is ruptured, the jelly-like shock-absorbing “filling” for lack of a better term oozes out. When that does, it can put pressure onto the spinal cord itself and that could be the source of the pain for Foster.

Other symptoms include pain and weakness in the legs (not good for a running back), shooting pains when doing simple things like sneezing or using the toilet, and a low chance of loss of control in the bladder and/or bowel.

Maybe that explains why Houston has crapped the bed for the last two months and lost seven in a row—ruptured disc.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Hard Targets: John Carlson Returns Like Jesus

by: LT Murray IV

MFer I’m a monster in this game, similar to the Lochness. My writing’s nappy rooted, all my pieces have a process. Greetings all! Tis I, Beddict, back with more fantasy football goodness, and boy am I excited tonight. No, not because Chris Johnson scored 2 TDs on Thursday night football, but for the reason that more biblical fairy tales are being turned into movies. If you’re anything like me, you’ve been hungrily awaiting a Passion of the Christ sequel. We aren’t receiving that YET, but it’s bound to happen some day right. We can always count on Uncle Mel to deliver us the classics. Instead we get my main man Russell Crowe in the blockbuster, Noah, and man does it look scrumptious. While it doesn’t have Gibson’s maniacal touch, it does reunite Crowe with Jennifer Connelly as they, with God’s help, wipe the face of the earth of all other human life. The Elder Gods laugh hysterically about these children’s tails but one has to wonder how Hollywood has waited so long to turn these fascinating works of fiction into billion dollar hits. This is only the beginning as we should soon expect big budget pictures about Peter walking on water, the Ethiopian in the desert, the stoning of Stephen, Moses and the parting of the Red Sea, Daniel in the lion’s den, and the aforementioned Christ sequel. I for one am praying on a trilogy depicting the battle of David and Goliath, Hobbit style. Peter Jackson would be a perfect fit in bringing these storybooks to life and if the Gods will it, Elijah Wood could even play the role of David. Hollywood is sitting on a goldmine and we are the main benefactors. Rejoice!

I should probably now write something regarding football since that’s why they pay me the big bucks. Let’s lead off with John Carlson since he seemingly returned from the dead like Jesus Christ himself. Take heed.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Donald Trumps Irsay

November 15, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 159 Comments

by: Sky

Let’s face it, the Colts have had a pretty rough year at the running back position to date. After throwing down some cash on Ahmad Bradshaw to be their lead back in the off-season, Bradshaw only plays in three games and doesn’t even register fifty total touches before going down for the rest of the season with a major, career-threatening injury. His backup? Well that would be none other than Vick Ballard who went down after game one of the season with a torn ACL. And as we know, the Colts got bold and traded for T-Rich and well…yeah, we all know how well that’s going. But underneath the inconsistency and frustration, a man has been playing lights out with limited touches and even less fanfare for Indy. Well, until Thursday Night Football that is. Donald Brown has been the supposed backup or third stringer in the Colts offense since game one of the season but most likely bought himself a bit more playing time rolling forward after his 14 carries for 80 yards and 2 touchdowns while chipping in 14 on a catch. Many forget Brown himself was a first round pick out of Connecticut in 2009 but it’s for good reason: he’s performed nowhere near this level his entire career. The hesitant DB we all know from the past seems to have vanished and a confident, quick bursting Donald has emerged. Despite the Colts offensive line woes, DB has averaged 5.9 yards per carry this season and looks to get a few more touches moving forward after tonight’s performance. After all the off-season movement that has led to wasted money and draft picks, Donald can finally drag Irsay into the board room and utter those infamous words: you’re fired. In other news from TNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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Weekly IDP Rankings: Week Eleven For 2013 Fantasy Football

November 14, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 27 Comments

by: Kevin Kumpf

As we enter the home stretch of the regular season, there are no more surprises. Any sleeper who is going to break out (Robert Quinn, Kiko Alonso, Barry Church), has already made the leap. Any veteran who is going to lose a step (Justin Smith, London Fletcher, Yeremiah Bell), has already disappointed. At this point in the season there are no surprises, and, barring injury, most players are who they are.

Here are some notable performances or possible one-week wonders from Week 10 that are worth looking at for the final three weeks of the regular season:

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Bet the Farm: NFL Week 11 Betting Contest

November 14, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Bet The Farm | 15 Comments

by: Josh Carey

Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.

Standings After Week 9:

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Roughshod Jennings

November 14, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 331 Comments

by: Sky

When the cat’s away, the mouse will play. Or so they say. By the way, I make things out of clay by the bay. Ok, I don’t but I may…yeah, I don’t know where this is going either. And to be fair, DMC owners don’t really either but the writing’s on the wall. Since it’s happening in Oakland, I think it’s fair to call it graffiti. McFadden is slowly losing his job, one terrible carry at the time and the man stepping in to replace him is doing his best to prove that’s the right way to go. Since taking over, Rashad Jennings has performed extremely well. In what effectively equates to 1 and 3/4ths start, Jennings has gained 190 yards on the ground on 35 carries, good for a 5.4 YPC average. And on the receiving side, no biggie. Just 9 receptions for 93 yards. So in effect, he’s averaging 14 fantasy points a week in standard and is on an offense with a dinged up starting QB that’s gonna need to feed their main man to just stay afloat week to week. I like the odds of a good week from that even if the Texans defense has been somewhat stingy against the run of late. Outside of Roughshod, I’m loving on Ryan Mathews as a top 10 back again. Crazy to think the kid who now has only been surging upward in the fantasy world gets to face the team 3rd worst against the rush and is slung down into the limbo that is flex world. Needless to say, I don’t concur. Outside of that, a few moves that might be my own. I like Ryan Fitzpatrick against the Colts. Indy’s a bit of a team in disarray that needs a coaching enema and I think Tennessee gets to drive that point home tonight. There’s also a bit of Justin Hunter love this week in the same vein. Don’t know who Hunter is? He’s a Tennessee WR. It’s ok, nobody knows one. He and Kendall Wright I see having strong weeks. Marcedes Lewis. Strictly a matchup call. I’m sure Henne will botch it but it doesn’t mean I’m not obliged to look stupid cuz of the stats. And as The Guru would say, it’s DST bizarro week. Lions at number 5? Saints at 6? What is this madness? Kickers were dreamed up while on a Peyote trip in the desert. There’s nothing more scary than seeing Randy Bullock’s face while tripping balls. But enough about my crazy, naked Wednesday night, let’s get on with it. Here’s the 2013 Fantasy Football rankings for week 11…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 11 Players to Play/Avoid: Cruz Relying on Manning’s Control

November 13, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 64 Comments

by: Loudon

Both Calvin Johnson and A.J. Green are in tough matchups this week, but you’re going to play them anyway. Why? They’re just too talented to bench. Baltimore is incredibly good at protecting against the run, but that won’t stop you from starting Matt Forte will it? Probably not. There are just some players you have to start regardless of their matchup, but that list is pretty short, so here are some players that aren’t on that list.

Steven Jackson has so much potential! After a decent performance in New Orleans week 1, Jackson has been a huge disappointment ever since, thanks to his injury. There are better scenarios ahead, but against a surprisingly decent Tampa Bay run defense, you shouldn’t expect much from him this week. Consider him a low end flex play until next week…when the Saints come marching in.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dez The Way, Uh Huh Uh Huh, I Like It

November 13, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 246 Comments

by: Sky

I’m gonna take you back. Way, way back into the distant past…woah, too far! You’re wearing white flared pants and a white fitted imprinted jacket? And you’ve slicked your hair back…ok, ok, I get it. I’m quoting a disco song and you’re doing your best Travolta impersonation. Next time would you let me finish? You’ve made both of us look silly…well, mostly you but still, back to the point. What I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by your Saturday Night Fever was let’s go back into the distant past of August 2013. Can you picture it? Summer was still around but we knew football was right around the corner and you were planning for your drafts. Everyone knew Megatron was the belle of the wide receiver ball but who was gonna be the second best behind him? Would it be Brandon Marshall? Some said yes. AJ Green? Possibly. Well, many selected Dez Bryant as the #2 receiver according to rankings. And because you’re gonna ask, here. I had him as 4th best but in a tier of 3 other peers. How’s THAT for hedging. In either case, things haven’t been going so well for the highly touted Dez of late. Against a creampuff matchup with the Vikings, Dez totaled a measly 6 for 64 in week 9 and followed it up with an even worse 1/44 in week 10. And to top it all off? He’s gonna drop a goose egg this weekend on his owners. Mark. It. Down…yeah, he’s on bye. Notice how ‘bye week’ sounds a lot like ‘buy week’? Mmm-hmmm. Scuffling and on an offense that’s not been grooving of late and now on a bye, owners might forget why they spent that high of a price tag on him and let him slip for a bit less than he’s worth. VJax for Dez you say? Sure, I’ll sell. Jordy for Dez? Yeah, I’m in. All this to say, he’s had a few clunkers and hasn’t gone on a tear like he did last year to finish the season but who knows? Maybe he’s got a monster 6 week stretch ahead of him after the bye. At worst, he’s a top end product that’s produced bottom shelf results. If you can get him for less than he’s worth, it’s worth it. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football…

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The Razzball Football Podcast – The One Where We Hire An Intern To Yell At

November 12, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Razzball Podcast | 25 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

The Razzball Podcast is back! And since we taped on Tuesday whilst remembering our American and Canadian heroes, we’re previewing week 11 this week instead of recapping the past week – traveling to the future instead of the past! We’re Back to the Future Part II instead of the original. It’s a jam packed episode with Nick’s new hand-picked intern #8 (oh wait, that’s right, he has a name it’s Kyle) going over AFC matchups, Nick I preview the NFC including my raging Panthers while also hitting up DraftKings, Sky calls in with wire pickups for the home stretch and Murph recaps the past week’s injuries. So much going on that we had to stay professional throughout!

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Jam it or Cram it Sowing the Seeds of Playoff Love

November 12, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 73 Comments

by: The Guru

Amazing, isn’t it, my Razzballers? The Fantasy Football playoffs are on the immediate horizon. Seems like only yesterday we were doing mock drafts and arguing about whether to take Adrian Peterson or Doug Martin with the first pick. Hope you went AP. We were all so young, bright-eyed and hopeful then. Sing it: We are the world, we are the children. Three months later, we are a disgruntled bunch of misanthropes throwing back cheap scotch at 8 am, licking our nicotine patches and staring into the dark abyss of Week 11. If you drafted Arian Foster or Aaron Rodgers, it may be time to take up Fantasy Curling. It’s HUGE in Canada. Ask our touque wearing podcast host Nick. He bailed on his team three weeks ago to concentrate on Canada’s national pastime. For the rest of us more “serious” fantasy ballers, it’s time to start thinking a step ahead of the competition and improve our playoff seeds. There is no loyalty when it comes to this silly little game. It’s time to bail on players dragging you down. So long Trent Richardson, your dead to me. Bye, bye, Stevie Johnson, your mom’s here. Colin Kaepernick? Meet me down by the stream so I can tell you about the rabbits. We’re looking for men not mice. It’s time to make the playoff push. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RCL Football Update: Week 10

November 12, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Commenter Leagues, Razzball Writers League | 12 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

2013 RCL Football Welllllllll, my run at RCL glory took a horrible turn this week, as both my squads are looking terrible and suffered tough losses. Why, A-Rod’s collarbone, WHY?! And while my formerly undefeated team has now dropped two straight, at least no one is perfect as Yeshcheese fell this week as the last undefeated. No 10-0 teams this year! The parity is astounding. You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.

RCL Top Scorer TOP SCORER: Jack Full of Hate is full of fantasy points lately, posting 188.30 points and moving to 6-4 in JB’s Random Commenter League (my league duh!) and topping the RCLs in scoring. How are you only 6-4 when you own the entire Broncos roster? Big weeks from Peyton, Demaryius, and Riley, then 20-point games from Andre Johnson and T.Y. rounded out the winning week and got Jack top honors in a very down week of RCL scoring. The Hannover Hotspurs eked out a win over The Green Bastards making a logjam at 7-3 for the top of the league standings, with RotoZak moving into first place in the league with his points.

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Let’s Get Rishard’ed

November 12, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 237 Comments

by: Sky

I swear I mentioned this kid prior to tonight. I did a site search. I did a read through of the buy/sell columns. The only thing left was the podcasts and of course the week Brandon Gibson went down, I didn’t get to mention him. Ah well, just as my wife has kindly pointed out on multiple occasions, I can’t be right ever, er, all of the time. Ah well, maybe someone out there who reads me can remind me when I wrote or talked about Rishard Matthews. Well, no matter, it’s hard not to talk about him after his Monday night line. On a night that seemed anti-fantasy football on so many levels – and anti-good football in general – Rishard was the lone bright spot, racking up a nice 11 catch, 120 yard and 2 touchdown game on 14 targets. On a night where Miami totaled 2 rushing yards on the night, Matthews was the lone bright spot, drawing the weakest coverage while others got stranded on Revis island, Rishard was able to perform on a level even I was a bit surprised with. Moving forward, he’s a great WR4 or 5 for depth with use in deeper leagues but I wouldn’t buy heavily if this is the line that sparks my interest. Look more back at what Gibson was doing when Miami was successful and you have your target area. Anything more, you’re in the money. Of course, if the guys who are actually making the big money to catch the ball in MIA stay M.I.A., this might become the norm. No, I’m not gonna quote Black Eyed Peas. I’m mad at myself for even bringing them up with the title in the first place. In other news from Monday Night Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?