I apologize for my absence the last two weeks. I had some major final exams and they kicked me in the ass. I am a better human after finishing it however; I have not seen natural light from the sun in 20 days. The doctor told me I had to wear sunglasses at all times until yesterday; the worst experience to be forced to look like a hipster. Story time! This guy from Greece, let’s call him Pat, bought a five-step ladder in Canada and had it sent to him in Greece. Because he is smart, he fell of the small ladder and subsequently sued the manufacturer and the store that sold it to him because he felt it had two defects: defective material and no warning labels. Experts deemed the ladder perfectly made and the judge told Pat that because an adult of average intelligence would know how to handle himself on said ladder there is no need for warning signs. In addition to this there are glue stains where the warning signs were, so also ripped them off. This man was then given criminal time and had to pay punitive damages. Fraud = bad. Don’t be this guy.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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We are at Week 16, which means we are at championship week! So if you’ve gotten it that far in your respective leagues, it’s clearly because you’ve been listening to my advice and reading my writing every week. If you didn’t make it, sorry, but maybe you should listen to me more. But, alas, there is still one more week where who you have on the bench for options and who should have dropped is important and that is what I’m here to help with!

Firstly, if you still own Andy Dalton, Andrew Luck, or even Peyton Manning on your teams, it’s time to let go. They are either not going to play due to injury or just can’t play anymore (ahem, Peyton). These quarterbacks are taking up valuable bench space that could be used for widely available Tyrod Taylor or Ryan Fitzpatrick, who both are coming off solid weeks this past weekend and have plus matchups this weekends for their respective teams. Tyrod helps you with his lack of bad decisions and his legs, while Fitz helps you with his high yardage totals and three of his weapons (Marshall, Decker, Powell) are fully healthy and doing great.

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If you’re still reading at this point, you either really love fantasy football, or you’re within a game or two (stop playing into Week 17!) of winning your fantasy championship. Ideally, your lineup is set at the typical streamer positions at this point. Well, unless you somehow managed to advance after Andy Dalton’s early injury last week. More than likely you didn’t, but perhaps you did.

I know I did.

Yes, despite Dalton’s one-point performance, I was able to survive my first-round playoff matchup to move on to the semifinals. It’s also a league where every team thinks it’s necessary to hold two or three quarterbacks, so the pickings were slim. More than any other time this year, I’m desperate for some streamers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

pinkdoug

It seems I can no longer avoid the pink elephant in the room. Doug Baldwin (63%). In the preseason I identified Doug as an ideal cheap buy in auction leagues. With an projection of about 167 points and a price tag of at most $2, his points per dollar (PPD) was through the roof. In snake drafts his ADP was about 120 (10th round). Through 12 games he currently has 180 points (1 point PPR). Over achieve much? In week 5 I ranked him as a top-20 receiver. And in weeks 11 and 12, I highlighted for his on field performances. The writing has been on the wall all season. And by wall, I mean my posts. How many of us missed it, or just plain ignored it. In the last four weeks specifically, Baldwin has been one of the top WR in the league. The stats don’t lie. During that span he has averaged 6 catches and 108 yards per game. He also has 6 touchdowns in those four games. Is it a coincidence that his performance has blossomed since Marshawn Lynch has been out of the lineup? I have no idea, but felt obligated to point it out. Can you hear me now?!!

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At this point in the season, you’re looking for streamers because you’re dealing with injuries, right?  The bye weeks are over, and you’ve had 12 weeks now to find a suitable fill-in at quarterback, tight end and the pointless positions (kicker and defense).

If not, I mean you’re probably just playing DraftKings or FanDuel, because your regular season is over.

Let’s get to it…

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By now, some of you have got to be tired of my weekly rant about how I could have fielded a team using just the jabronies I could find on the waiver wire and still beat just about any other team currently rostered in your league. Frankly I’m getting tired of writing about it. Let’s be honest, who in their right mind was ever going to consider starting any of these guys? Unless you know something the rest of us do not, these players are going to continue riding the pine. And now that we are winding down on the fantasy season, and bye weeks are complete, there is very little incentive to take a risk on a player that has done very little nearly all season.

In the sake of tradition, here’s this week’s lineup:

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Another week, another handful of big injuries in fantasy football. We saw Jimmy Graham go down for the season with a knee injury, Rob Gronkowski go down with a knee injury that isn’t too serious, but still potentially a multi-week injury, and also Chris Johnson suffer a fractured tibia. As the season progresses, more and more injuries will pop up and determining who to keep, who to pick up, and who to drop becomes crucial for those vying for playoff spots. Hence, the Benchwarmers and yours truly is here to save your Fantasy Football season.

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Johnny Manziel is a punk.  Yeah, I like my sports to be entertaining, but I applaud the Browns for benching Manziel. What’s the big deal, you say?  Well, not only did he lie to the team, but he just left a rehab center and he’s out partying.  He’s a grown-ass man, but he’s also being paid as an investment.  Sorry, if my investment is acting like a clown when it’s clear he’s had issues in the past, I’m making the same moves that the Browns did. See you on TV in a few years, Johnny. Let’s get to the streamers.

Join Jay and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

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If the Seahawks-Niners game had been on Monday night, the title to this post might have been “Monday Night Rawl“. There was no way I was going to deny Thomas Rawls of his duly earned honors and bury the lede on this one. I had every intention of taking a page out of my own book and replaying what I said back in week 6 when I was fired up about Rawls. Unfortunately it seems that fellow writer Doug had the same idea when he titled his Through The Wire post. Allow myself to plagiarize myself. I guess it’s not really plagiarism if I am repurposing my own words. Here is what I said back in week 6. “The fact that he is only 47% owned is a little baffling. With Lynch out for the second straight week, Rawls should have been picked up everywhere. Especially by Lynch owners. Those that picked him up (like me) and started him (like me) were rewarded with 169 yards rushing and a score. He now has two 100+ yard rushing games. Lynch has none. Keep rawlin, rawlin, rawlin, rawlin…” And that’s me quoting me. I’m going to give Doug the benefit of the doubt and assume that he didn’t read that post. Besides, we’re one big happy family here at Razzball.

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Who are these guys? I’ll tell you exactly who they are. These guys are the players that no one else wants. The players that just sit on your waiver wire week after week, ignored for the hot play of the week. I bet more people picked up Thomas Rawls, James White and Dorial Green-Beckham last week than any of the following undesirable players. But that begs the question, what is your definition of “desirable”? Do you find 189.16 points desirable? If you don’t, I think you might need a new TI-84 and dose of reality. I currently sit in first place in the Razzball Writers league with a record of 9-1. Over those ten games I have averaged 133 points with a margin of victory of 26.8 points. 189.16 points is a little more than 56 points more than my weekly average. These half ass lineups that most of us wouldn’t consider starting even if we were told included players that were going to have a good week, are practically unbeatable.

Please, blog, may I have some more?