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Welcome to the very last Beyond the Numbers! of the year and also one of the most important. I, and everyone here at Razzball, have put in our best efforts this week to get you closer towards your goal of making the fantasy Super Bowl. Sorry I had to go with another overused Blount pun as the title, but I spent too much time reviewing games to come up with a more clever one. Hell, I’ve been watching so much game tape my NFL Game Pass Replay asked me if I was a robot. To that, I of course sarcastically answered yes and it somehow let me continue watching. I guess my TV is also a robot and vouched for me or something. Let’s just say I definitely did my homework this week. There are way too many scary matchups to not be prepared. That and figuring out the value of injured players’ backups are the most crucial items on the docket. For fantasy owners in just about any situation in the playoffs, I got you covered.

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If you watched Monday Night’s game between the Indianapolis Colts and New York Jets, then you know what I’m talking about. The Jets have no fight left. We should have seen that performance coming, though. Early last week, it was reported that Darrelle Revis didn’t want to play anymore. A Revis confidant said, “He’s done. If he had his way, he’d be done right now. He doesn’t want to play anymore. He’s made a lot of money.” Revis is making $17 million this year, by far the highest mark on the team. When the supposed franchise player and leader is mailing it in, it’s tough for a team to show fight. Now, there are a ton of issues with the Jets that have led to their 3-9 record, so it’s not all on Revis, but that’s another article for another day. The point is that at this stage of the season, many players are making “business decisions” and vacation plans on the field. The Jets are a prime team to stream against.

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ST. LOUIS, MO - SEPTEMBER 7: Adrian Peterson #28 of the Minnesota Vikings rushes during a game against the St. Louis Rams at the Edward Jones Dome on September 7, 2014 in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo by Michael B. Thomas/Getty Images)

By now, most of you guys are already in the playoffs or at least know where you’re sitting in the hunt.  I’m unfortunately eliminated in my main league and am a bit sour while writing this, so please forgive a bit of my saltiness. My handle may have to change to Rob Gronkowski lying in a hospital bed since that’s where he’s been most of the year (I trusted you after staying healthy last year!). If you’re in the same boat as me, better luck next year. Do it the right way next time and join 10 leagues so you’re guaranteed to win one (that’s how statistics work right?). Yup, we’re way beyond the numbers and I’m not even through with the intro. For those who still have a shot at glory, I’ll suck it up for you guys and do my best to help out. Here are some guys that’ll get you to next week, some to stash for when you get there, and some to avoid all together.

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Da bears are a joke. No B for you! They are 2-9 on the season and have only scored 178 points all year! The Lambs have scored 170? Geez. Only three other teams have failed to crack the 200 point barrier. Maybe they are playing on All-Madden while the rest of the league is on Pro. Forget about recounting votes for Hillary! I demand an audit of the NFL to check the gameplay settings! Actually, scratch that. They just suck.

So why the hell am I devoting my precious time and energy to Da bears this week?

For starters, the other great writers at Razzball got you covered on the main guys out there. Go check them out. I highly recommend it.

Disclaimer: Razzball did not pay me to write that, nor did they pay anyone in my immediate family for that endorsement. Pssst, Jay and Grey….all good?

I try to touch on the players that are a little off the reservation. Mission accomplished for sure this week. Achievement unlocked.

Finally, I wanted my loyal readers to be a part of history. Drum roll please… For the first time in Razzball Bear or Bull history, I will talk about not one, not two, but three players! Maybe four. I can see my followers gathering now. Yeah, I feel you.

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - AUGUST 09: Wide receiver Victor Cruz #80 of the New York Giants looks on prior to a preseason game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at MetLife Stadium on August 9, 2014 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Alex Trautwig/Getty Images)

Well, here we are ladies and gentlemen, convicts and inmates, perverts and peepers, Week 13 of the 2016 Fantasy Football season. This also marks my last article for the year as many of you will be on your own as the season winds down. I hope that you will all be able to manage without my weekly doses of awesomeness until next Fall, but many of you continue to have masturbation shrines to me in your basements, so it’ll be like I never left. How are we doing? Me, I have about three out of five leagues where I still have a shot at taking home the Shiva thanks to the waiver wire, some good old-fashioned voodoo, and a couple of human sacrifices. Let’s just say, Jobu has had more than a few refills this year, but hey, whatever works, right? Now that we are down to the wire, there are some really slim pickin’s on many of the waiver wires and my Black Widow Curse continues to feast on man-flesh, but on the bright side, she is also allowing some people to make it back from oblivion and certain doom, so there is a silver lining, I suppose. Let’s see what magic I can work for you this week and give you that extra fluffing to boldly make that erect march into your 2016 Fantasy League stardom. Without further ado, I give you the last 2016 edition of Hit it or Quit it

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Hello everyone, and welcome to another installment of our Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em series.

Hopefully all of you had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday full of great family, friends, food and hockey! Can’t you believe that the Canadiens clawed out another close win against Carolina, and now they are 15-4-2! If only they could start Carey Price every game…. oh, and the Cowboys are 10-1 I guess. I dunno.

We are now one week away from being one week away from the fantasy playoffs, and I hope most of you (hopefully all?) are looking good for some fantasy postseason action, and if you aren’t, hopefully you are close! And if you are at the bottom of your league… well, there is always next year.

I can definitely say that I have greatly enjoyed my time here at Razzball currently over these past two years, and I believe this is a direct result of how awesome some of these writers are here. One of which being my good friend Tehol. Over these past two weeks, Tehol has finished 4th and 2nd out of all of the other experts in the FantasyPros rankings challenge, and I want to give him some mad props for it. If you are feeling good about your team, double-check some of your crucial week-to-week decisions with the Lord himself to get the edge on your competition. You won’t regret it.

Alright, enough jabber. Let’s get to Week 12!

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Happy Black Friday everyone! Hopefully none of you guys got trampled getting all those deals, but come on, a $300 big screen TV is worth just about whatever it takes to get. If you’re like me and would rather not get run over by a shopping cart stampede, Cyber Monday is where it’s at. You can’t beat sitting on your butt and buying random items you don’t need just because they’re cheap. I may be a day late, but as tradition dictates, I like to give thanks to something every year. This year, I want to give my thanks to my man Jon Gruden for being the commentator on Monday Night Football. I mean, can you imagine Chris Collinsworth or Phil Simms getting that privilege? It’s bad enough we all had to sit through Rams v. 49ers this year, can you imagine it with one of them giving the play by play? Sorry, Halloween is long over. I shouldn’t subject anyone to such scary thoughts. Anyway onto the interesting guys of the week. Hope everyone’s still got a shot in their matchups after all the Thanksgiving Day games…

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ORCHARD PARK, NY - SEPTEMBER 14: Ryan Tannehill #17 of the Miami Dolphins throws against the Buffalo Bills during the second half at Ralph Wilson Stadium on September 14, 2014 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images)

Welcome back to another action packed, fun-filled edition of By The Numbers. Hopefully you’ve had your fill of everything Thanksgiving, because the list of top-tier rushing and passing match ups this week is a bit thin. The Turkey-Day games definitely took some oomph out of the normal Sunday slate, but I’ll do my best to harvest a few gems to satisfy your fantasy football fetish. I do have to admit though, the Holidays just wear me out. I mean, the pressure of making everyone think you’ve established yourself as a normal, productive adult is a tall task. But trust me when I tell you that I’m incredibly consistent in my ability to disappoint friends and family alike. So I guess you could say this years Thanksgiving was another success?! Anyway, one other item that’s been consistent this year is the atrocious defensive play of the San Francisco 49ers. We’ll pick apart their rushing defense down below, but for the time being I’d like to discuss their 30th ranked pass defense. Yep, you know where I’m going with this… It’s Ryan Tannehill time and we should all rejoice! The 49ers are so bad they’re on my stream-against list every week. They’re giving up 19.8 fantasy points per game, which is good for fifth most in the league and they’ve allowed at least 10 points a each week to opposing QBs since Week 2. Tannehill is set up for a productive afternoon as the 49ers are allowing 252 yards passing per contest and they’ve handed out 23 passing scores (2nd most) against just seven interceptions this year. So, if you’re a fan of the 49ers, this might be a great afternoon to do something fun, like go for a bike ride or get back-out drunk and embarrass your immediate family. Anything to avoid this disaster that’s about to take place in South Florida. Until then, here’s a look at some more of my favorite plays this week:

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We mocked the Tennessee Titans all off-season. First, when they decided to retain Mike Mularkey as their full-time head coach, we all shook our heads. Not up and down, but side to side. Then Mularkey unveiled “exotic smashmouth” to the world. What the Mularkey??!! DeMarco Murray was signed as a free agent, but then they drafted Heisman running back Derrick Henry in the second round of the NFL Draft. Que? Before the season started, they traded physcial freak, Dorial Green-Beckham to the Eagles for an offensive lineman. What?! Que?! Huh?!

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Greetings! Loyal subjects, it brings me great honor to join you for another week where we can discuss the state of your fantasy football team while also throwing out guesses as to whom, between Christian Slater and Nicolas Cage, is packing the bigger papaya. Gotta be Cage, right? Anywhoosers, I had an absolutely stupendous time at the Seahawks game this weekend. Destroying the team that represents perennial losers like Meek Mill and the 76ers created immense joy inside of my once empty soul. However, I did stop at Buffalo Wild Wings on the way to Beddict Manor, as it’s where I met one of the friends of mine I took to the game. The food there is beyond godawful and I have absolutely no idea how this restaurant got so big. You’re telling me that no other company could create a similar sports bar (i.e. just a bunch of TVs), with EDIBLE food and waiters who aren’t high out of their minds? I haven’t been to Hooters in like five years but, oh ho-ho, that succulent meat is calling my name. Did you think I was talking about their chicken wings? That’s a negative, Ghostrider. Anyone been to Twin Peaks? There’s one close by and I’m highly intrigued. Let’s chat later about it.

I am Tehol Beddict and this is Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

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It was finally nice to see some great prime time football for once last week! Seahawks versus the  Patriots was an absolutely fitting battle where the Seahawks flipped the script of their Super Bowl XLIX defeat, and Bengals vs. Giants was a tight game until the end. It would’ve been nice to see a bit more flash on Monday Night Football with stars like Odell Beckham Jr., A.J. Green, and Tyler Eifert on the field, but viewers and fantasy owners can’t be too disappointed with how things turned out. Even though we didn’t see much in the way of explosive, flashy plays, wasn’t Beckham’s rendition of Thriller beautiful to watch at least? Last week I wrote about the good ole’ days of football where touchdown celebrations used to make the games better, so the fact that he didn’t get flagged made it all the better. After briefly speaking about the celebration in his post game interview, Beckham got me thinking when he mentioned he was inspired by Conor McGregor’s UFC 205 victory. How ironic is it that Beckham, one of the feeblest minds in the NFL, can be inspired by Conor McGregor, one of our generation’s most prolific trash talkers? I mean, just imagine if Conor was a cornerback slotted to go against Beckham. How many plays do you think it takes for it to escalate to the Josh Norman level of 2015? Two? Three? Either way, I’m sure his fantasy owners don’t care who inspires him as long as he keeps producing. Now it’s time to look at this week, where I take you through all the guys that should be inspiring you to start them.

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If there was any question at all as to who was in command of the Seattle backfield until Thomas Rawls returns, C.J. Prosise answered with a swift and precise Dolemite style backhand. Last Sunday against the Patriots he not only dominated the carries (17 to just 5 for Christine Michael) he was a monster in the red zone, as he toted the rock six times inside the 20-yard line – including five times inside the 10. He’s clearly carved out a relevant role within Pete Carroll’s offense. Now, if you want to poke holes in this theory, be my guest – he averaged less than three yards per carry in the red zone. There, I teed it up for you. Regardless about how you feel about Prosise going forward just remember this: He caught all seven targets he saw in Week 10, totaling 87 yards. In my opinion, what we have here is at worst a PPR factor and at best someone who can propel you to the fantasy playoffs. I’ll take that one hundred percent of the time. This week he’ll square off against the Philadelphia defense and by no means is that an easy assignment. The Eagles rank 12th in the league in rushing yards allowed, giving up 100.6 per game. They’ve only surrendered 4 rushing touchdowns this season, but that’s okay as I’m not wavering from my Prosise recommendation this week. With the release of Christine Michael and Thomas Rawls’ effectiveness still in question, Prosise is in for what should amount to a sizeable workload. And as mentioned above, he should produce serious dividends in the passing game this week. Because as we all know, opportunity usually equals volume for feature backs.

Here’s a look at a few more of my favorite passing and rushing matchups for Week 11:

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