Crazy week here at Razzball, so let’s just get right into it.

And I was talking about your mom.

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 11 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, Zach, and MB in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I’m from Iowa and if you’re not you will probably roll your eyes at this. It was a big day in the NFL for former Hawkeyes on Sunday. Adrian Clayborn took advantage of playing against Tyron Smith’s back up and got himself six sacks in one game. Wow, if only the Buccaneers, who struggle greatly to generate a pass rush, would’ve re-signed him after his rookie deal was up. Another great move by Jason Licht. Also, Hawkeye graduate C.J. Beathard earned his first career win in the NFL on Sunday. I figured that Jimmy Garappolo would have taken over the starting quarterback job before that ever happened, but here we are!

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With the east coast experiencing an early blast of arctic cold, so much so I need to start moisturizing my hands (just like your mom), I’m reminded of the day I left the west coast and wonder how I ended up here. Then I look at how my Chargers and Padres are doing and realize how much lifespan was added to my liver since that time. Kinda like the ebb and flow of life itself. Or Zeke’s suspension status. Hey-ooooh (too soon?)

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 10 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After an eventful UFC card on Saturday night, the NFL decided to host some backyard brawling of their own. You really can’t blame the players for trying to stir up some excitement, ratings are down 20% in the NFL over the past two seasons. A.J. Green choked and slammed Jalen Ramsey and tried his best to ground and pound him. Later on, Jameis Winston got into a verbal spat with Marshon Lattimore and Mike Evans came out of nowhere and blindsided Lattimore. Is fighting immature? Maybe. Does the pettiness add a level of excitement? Hell yeah! Let’s get to the games.

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Not much is going on, except Zeke getting suspended and not suspended about 18 times a week at this point, but who doesn’t love getting stuck in a revolving door? Regardless, not much time on my end this week (been terribly busy!), so we’ll keep this lede short and sweet, just like your mother. And I guess Richard Simmons.

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 9 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As expected, we had a triumphant trade deadline in the NFL. The names that we were seeing at the end of the night yesterday aren’t necessarily the big names that ended up being moved. The Colts ended up staying put with their offensive weapons that were being brought up. The Dolphins didn’t move Jarvis Landry as expected. Calvin Johnson will stay retired, at least for the remainder of 2017. Now, Martavis Bryant will be back in the game plan for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you hadn’t noticed from the alerts that you are getting on your phone that are annoying your wife or girlfriend, the trade deadline is upon us and we had a busy Monday night. We have two trades that have big impacts on three offenses so far. Since the trade deadline isn’t officially over until 4:00 P.M. Est on Tuesday, you may be hearing from me twice.

There are reportedly two teams that are showing interest in Frank Gore. As if that is not a big enough clue that the Colts are tanking for the season, Indianapolis is also reportedly fielding calls for T.Y. Hilton as well. It would be surprising to me, but maybe Martavis Bryant gets moved to a contender who needs some burst in their receiving corps. Earlier today, it was reported that the Eagles are kicking the tires on the possibility of the Detroit Lions trading them the rights to Calvin Johnson. But this morning, we are focusing So, let’s get this started before you make your waiver wire claims this evening.

[BREAKING: Ezekiel Elliott has been denied his Preliminary Injunction, which essentially means his suspension has been upheld. Note that the suspension will begin after a 24 hour period and the NFLPA will certainly appeal. So he can’t play for the next six games. MAYBE. We’ll know more tomorrow. Alfred Morris and Darren McFadden remain must-owns in all formats.]

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We had some weather on Sunday as the East Coast got slammed with rain and it made for a dreary day of football. It was certainly not the best thing for the kickers as rookie sensation missed a rare two extra points and one of the best kickers in football missed a couple of gimmes in New England. Football is played rain or shine whether or not it throws off our projections. We will start with the game in London, where it always seems to be dreary.

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I’ll be honest, generally I have no idea what the Sunday morning post lede will be until the night before when I peruse all the NFL content that drove the week. Kind of like a short synopsis, even though most women think it’s slightly above average. We’ve covered Ezekiel Elliot ad nauseam, injuries galore, all that kneeling, and I’ve even been able to sneak in a few legitimate barbs at Dean Spanos here and there. Why do I bring this all up now? Probably because literally nothing happened this week, yet I still need to type letters that hopefully form words here and there. One of my proudest aspirations as a writer. And this isn’t hyperbole. The Browns were forced to evacuate a London Hotel early. Anthony Barr had his own hot take to combat Aaron Rodgers hot take, because bro-stuff I guess. And we found out the top three quarterbacks with the most passes completed over 20 yards are Tom Brady (not surprising at all), Carson Wentz (kinda surprising), and Alex Smith (WTF?). That’s. About. It. And if you tell me that Alex Smith throwing even two passes over 20 yards is big news, I’d say to you that the trauma from that revelation isn’t news, it’s abuse.

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 8 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So yeah, I get it, the title is a bit overused in today’s parlance with the bizarre yet hypnotizing Adult Swim “horror-comedy-90’s sitcom” experience bringing the idiom back into style. Combined with the fact that I’d faint if you told me that this headline hadn’t been used by any other football writer before today when referring to Brandin Cooks (seen above with the 11-yard touchdown)… yeah, that saying’s been here before. But how apt! How meta I say! Because that’s exactly how I felt about last night’s prime time rematch of last year’s Super Bowl (did you know? You’d think they would mention that at least once last night!) that 95% of the Northeast tuned out of in the third quarter. There was some horror, some comedy, and of course Bill Belichek carries the whole 90’s sitcom vibe all by himself… but ultimately, it seemed to be a game that’d we’d all seen before and we were all the worse for it. And sure, while it might have been the Falcon’s gameplan all along, to give the Patriots a 23-point lead only to start a miraculous comeback of their own… problem was, the comeback never came and the Falcons looked about as good in the first three quarters yesterday as they did in the last quarter in the aforementioned Super Bowl. But there was fog! And lots of it! (I can’t find confirmation if it was coming out of Cris Collinsworth’s or Bob Costas’ mouth.) So instead of calling this a Super Bowl rematch, maybe we should call it the “Trent Green Bowl”? Kind of an “NFL’s concept” of what it’s like travelling through Trent Green’s head. You know, minus the purple bears and robot unicorns…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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